Shadows Of Desire

In Celtic Myth, swans are thought to be creatures that could connect to the Other world where the gods and goddesses lived. Many believe that a swan is silent all of it’s life until the moment before it’s death when it sings a beautiful song foretelling its end.

The great hall, now silent, sat nearly empty after the departure of everyone save for Lierin, Tomag, and Connor. Lierin with a furrowed brow, deep in discussion with his two remaining companions. The weight of recent events rested heavy on their shoulders and each looked weary and overspent. The echo of their conversation carried through the large room and reverberated off the ancient stone walls. Lierin should have been preparing to leave but with Caroline still out there and Rowan’s fate unknown, he had decided to stay and aide Thaden in anyway that he could. It was a difficult decision to make because all he really wanted to do was return home to Rosegate and to his fiance. He’d spent enough time in the drab halls of Basmorte’s Palace to last him a lifetime.

As the heavy wooden doors creaked open, a sudden hush fell over the room. Rowan strode in, weariness etched into the lines of his otherwise perfect features. His eyes held a look of fatigue, but also stern determination. Beside him, Thaden moved with an air of quiet resolve, as he watched Rowan with concern. Rowan’s gate was labored and his movements sluggish. He looked paler than normal and the dark rings beneath his eyes told Thaden that he needed sleep. He also wondered how long it had been since Rowan had had a decent meal. He didn’t imagine that Caroline had bothered to feed him anything substantial, or at all. Despite his obvious fragility, Rowan didn’t complain or show any sign that he was ready to rest.

Both Lierin and Tomag looked up as the two Princes entered the room. Their eyes widened in both surprise and relief.

“Prince Rowan.” Lierin said, rising from his seat. “You’ve returned.” He looked to Thaden who nodded his acknowledgement. It really was Rowan. He looked a bit worse for the wear but otherwise unharmed. “Welcome back.” Lierin smiled, giving Rowan a slight bow.

“Your majesty.” Tomag too bowed before the Prince.

“Thank you.” Rowan said to both men. He looked around the room, frowning somewhat. “I was expecting a larger audience. Where is everyone?”

“Ah, yes.” Lierin took his seat once more. “After Thaden left, we concluded the meeting. I believe that Jalgrith as well as Riona returned to their encampments. Sir Caffrey and Captain Greagor have retired for the day. It took a bit of persuasion on my part though. Neither of them wanted to leave before you were found but they were exhausted. As for Nasir, well, he and Dalyor disappeared together. I think they wanted some time alone and since things had settled down somewhat I gave Nasir leave.”

Rowan looked to Thaden for clarification. Thaden mouthed the word “mates” with a wink and Rowan smiled. He now understood all to well why they would wish to be alone. Rowan would have loved nothing more than to escape to some secluded part of the castle where he could lock himself away with Thaden for a week but he couldn’t. Not yet. There was still too much to do.

“We have news.” Rowan said, turning his attention back to Lierin. “We know where Caroline is hiding.”

The words hung in the air, stirring a sense of anticipation among those gathered. Lierin’s gaze shifted between Rowan and Thaden, a flicker of concern passing across his features. “What is your plan?” He asked.

Rowan met his gaze, his voice firm, and with a confidence that even Thaden had never heard in him before. “I’m going after her.”

Thaden’s concern deepened. His hand instinctively reached out to steady Rowan, his voice tinged with worry. “Rowan, love, you should rest first. You look as though you’re ready to collapse.”

Rowan shook his head, determination gleaming in his eyes. “I can’t rest. Not yet anyway. This is something that I have to do.”

Connor, brimming with a vengeful fire, interjected, his voice edged with intensity. “I’ll accompany you. Together we will end the bitch.”

Thaden narrowed his eyes at Connor then firmly stated. “There’s no need, Connor. I’m going with him.”

Connor’s expression soured slightly, his jaw tensed in discontent, but he relented, accepting their decision. “And after you find her? What then?”

“Then we’ll arrest her and bring her back to Basmorte to stand trial.” Rowan stated, calmly.

Connor huffed, shaking his head. “Your omega is far to soft, Thaden. I suppose he’ll have her held in a quest suit with all the comforts afforded a Queen.”

Rowan narrowed his eyes and glared a the wolf with contempt. “I will see to it that she is treated with the same care and attention that she gave to me. No more, no less.” Thaden understood what Rowan meant. Though Connor wasn’t aware of the cruel treatment Rowan received at the hands of the Queen, he understood the sentiment as well. Rowan had no intention of pampering Caroline. He planned to make her suffer as he had suffered, and show her no mercy, no matter how much she begged.

“Very well.” Connor sneered. “But I demand to be present when you interrogate her. There are a a few things I’d like to ask the bitch myself.”

“That won’t be a problem.” Rowan told him. “We’ll notify you when we have her in custody.”

“May I ask,” Lierin spoke after having listened to the entire conversation. He had no issue with Rowan’s plan but there was one question that lingered and he couldn’t dismiss it. “How did you discover where the Queen was hiding? And, where exactly is she?

“The abandoned monastery near the Matatowan mountains.” Rowan answered him, matter-of-factly. “I was told here whereabouts by a raven I saw in the garden.”

“A raven?” Lierin cocked an eyebrow. “Spoke to you?”

Rowan nodded. “It appeared in the garden and told me to travel to the monastery and there I would find Caroline. It said it was my destiny to confront her and I must do it alone. I don’t know anymore than that, the message was cryptic at best but I feel in my heart that I must hurry. By nightfall, I fear, she may be gone.”

Lierin nodded. “Then go. And my the Goddess guide you on your journey.”

Rowan thanked him then he and Thaden left to prepare for their journey.

***

Walking into the stables brought to Rowan a sense of nostalgia. Riding through the country side had always been a favorite past time of his and one that his father absolutely would not allow. That had never stopped Rowan though. Many times he had snuck out of the Palace to go riding, even knowing that it would earn him a lashing if his father found out. It was an odd feeling, standing there now without the sense of exhilaration knowing that he was doing something that he shouldn’t. His father was gone, Caroline was on the run, and Rowan would soon be King. There was no one now to tell him what he could or could not do. No one to punish him for disobeying. His life was finally his own.

“We should take Shadow dancer.” Thaden announced. He walked over to his horse and stroked her mane with loving care. “She’s fast and strong enough to carry the both of us.”

Rowan smirked at Thaden, walking past him to a stall at the very end of the stable. “There is no need to burden her with two riders, my love.” Rowan turned to look at the beautiful mare in the last stall. Her hair was as dark and rich as chocolate and it held a healthy shine. She was smaller than Shadow dancer but she was strong and spirited. “Hello, Bella. It has been far too long, my friend.” He gently stroked the horses nose and she shook her mane with excitement.

Thaden smiled, watching his husband with the mare. She truly was exquisite and Thaden could tell that Rowan held great affection for the animal. There seemed to be a bond between the two similar to the one Thaden had with his own horse.

“I had always been afraid of horses.” Rowan said, turning to look at Thaden. “If truth be told, I still am, to a degree. At least those I am not familiar with. In Basmorte our horses are used to us, Vampires I mean, so they don’t spook as easily but I had the unfortunate experience of being thrown from a horse once. Since that day I had tried to avoid them but there was something special about Bella here. When I looked into her eyes I didn’t see fear. She held my gaze almost as if beckoning me to come closer.”

He smiled to himself as he recalled the first time meeting the horse and Thaden could see the spark of joy in his eye. He was happy to know that Rowan had a least a few good memories of his time in Basmorte. “I fed her an ample and she allowed me to pet her. Over the weeks I would visit her as often as I could and when I was comfortable enough I decided to try and ride her. From the moment I took the reins in my hands it was as though we were of one mind. She’s the first animal that I ever really connected with and soon became one of my greatest friends. It saddened me to leave her behind but I knew if she came up missing, my father would have been suspicious. I’m just happy to see that she’s alright. I was worried my father might have had her destroyed.”

“She’s beautiful.” Thaden remarked. “A animal befitting a Prince.”

“That she is.” Rowan agree, stroking Bella’s dark, almost black, mane. “That she is.”

While waiting for the horses to be saddled and prepared for the journey, Thaden and Rowan stood outside the stable enjoying the warmth of the sun before it set entirely. They still had a good three hours before night was upon them and Rowan was a little disappointed that the day had slipped away so quickly. The sun in Basmorte wasn’t as bright as other realms but it was still nice to not be sulking around in the shadows.

Edward, a young stable boy around twelve years readied Shadow dancer while Aidan prepared Bella. Rowan had offered to have one of the other stable boys do it but Aidan insisted that he be the one to prepare Rowan’s horse. Rowan’s heart swelled with pride as he watched Aidan work. He was determined to make the young squire his personal steward, a job that he felt suited the man better. Evander would be glad for that as well. Rowan was certain of that.

Once the horses were ready, Thaden and Rowan gathered the supplies they would need. The journey wasn’t long so there was no need for food but they did pack plenty of water. Both for themselves and the horses since there was no body of water near enough between Basmorte and the monastery. They also packed an assortment of weapons. Thaden with his sword of course but also daggers that he had hidden in his boot and at his waist. Rowan also carried a dagger, as well as a light weight short sword, and on his back he carried a bow and a quiver of arrows.

“You any good with that thing?” Thaden asked, pointing to the bow.

Rowan cracked a lopsided grin. “Ask the Quartermaster that question. Perhaps he’ll show you the scar on his arse where I shot him after he informed my father that I had snuck out of the Palace.”

Thaden burst out with a hearty laugh as he pictured the King’s quartermaster being shot in the ass with an arrow. His husband certainly was a feisty little omega. “I’ll take your word for it.” He chuckled.

As Rowan mounted his horse, Thaden realized that they were nearly past the point of backing out. Rowan was determined to go after Caroline himself but Thaden still had his misgivings. While waiting for the horses to be prepared, Thaden had insisted that Rowan eat something. Rowan agreed, eating a bit of dried venison and marzipan then washing it down with some cider. Thaden assumed that would hold him for a while but what he really needed was blood, though that was an argument Thaden didn’t have the energy to start now.

“You’re sure you’re alright to do this?” Thaden questioned him. His eyes scanned down the length of Rowan’s body and settled on his stomach. “The journey won’t be too difficult for you?”

Rowan gave Thaden a soft smile and nodded his head. “I’m fine, really. You needn’t worry.”

“It’s my job to worry.” Thaden said. He leaned forward on his horse and caught Rowan’s gaze. “It’s not just you that I have to worry for anymore. My only concern at this point is keeping you and our children safe. I could give a damn about the crown, or the throne. I don’t need a grand Palace to be happy. As long as you are safe and well and our children thrive in love and happiness, I’ll be a content man.”

Rowan felt his cheeks flush as he listened to Thaden speak. The amount of love he felt for the man was immeasurable for it was more vast than even the heavens above them, more bright than a thousand stars, and more constant than the rise and fall of the sun. All that Rowan was and would be was thanks to Thaden because Thaden was what had given Rowan purpose.

“I love you.” Rowan told him, “More than you can ever know. Once, I thought that was enough but now I know that it’s not. My love for you far outweighs anything else but I also love my Kingdom and my people. If I abandoned them now, I would not be worthy of your love. But, do not fret, my love. Once this is all over, we will have a lifetime together and nothing or no one will ever separate us again.”

“Then we should go.” Thaden said, taking up the reins of his horse. “The sooner we leave the sooner we can return and I plan to spend an obscene amount of time just holding you in my arms.”

“Oh, hush you.” Rowan giggled. “There will be plenty of time for that later.”

***

As the evening sun prepared to set, Rowan and Thaden emerged from the stables, their steeds ready for the journey ahead. Bella, Rowan’s trusted, chocolate mare, stood regal and strong, while Shadow dancer, Thaden’s sleek, black mare, pawed at the ground, eager to be on the move.

The air was thick with apprehension as they set off, away from the city, the hooves of their horses pounding rhythmically against the earth. Dense forest and rugged terrain lay ahead, leading towards the foreboding silhouette of the Matatowan mountains. Thaden kept a vigilant eye on Rowan, his concern visible as he rode by his side. His thoughts were consumed by the dangers that lurked in the mountains, especially since they were heading into ogre territory.

Rowan had never ventured so far into the mountains before, he knew the danger they faced but he forced his fears aside and reminded himself that he did this not only for his people but to also secure a better future for his children. Despite this, Rowan couldn’t shake the sense of unease that settled in the pit of his stomach. He scanned his surroundings, the wind whispered through the trees, heightening his senses. A flicker of movement caught his eye--a swift, elusive figure darting between the trees. He glanced to Thaden, his voice low with caution.

“I think we’re being followed. Connor and his pack...they might be tracking us.”

Thaden’s gaze hardened and he sneered. “He’s probably hoping to reach Caroline before we do.”

Rowan shook his head and sighed. “We should hurry. I don’t want them to beat us to her. I intend to take her back alive.”

They continued through the challenging terrain, each step bringing them closer to the abandoned monastery, closer to Caroline. Connor and his wolves were close behind, Rowan could feel it. His senses remained alert, a knot of tension coiling in his chest as the feeling of being watched lingered.

Finally, the crumbling structure of the monastery came into view. Somewhere in the distance twigs snapped and the sound of rushing paws upon the ground rang in Rowan’s ears. The wolves had surrounded the monastery. Rowan could hear them, their pants and growls as they awaited orders from their Alpha. Rowan could even smell them. A heady mixture of dog and musk over shadowed the fragrant scent of nature.

“I think they’re waiting for us to bring her out.” Rowan said, a hint of worry in his voice.

“Do you know how many there are?” Thaden asked.

Rowan lifted his head and sniffed the air. He instantly wrinkled his nose in disgust. The stench of mud, dirt, and wet dog assaulted his senses. The smell was overwhelming and it pervaded the air, masking any other scent in the area. “It’s hard to tell.” Rowan admitted. “The scent is too strong but I can tell there are a lot of them. All male. A few alphas but mostly betas. Connor is here too. His scent is unmistakable.”

“We can’t fight them.” Thaden said and Rowan nodded in agreement.

“Lets just hope they’ve come to provide us with a safe escort back to the city.” Rowan smirked. It was unlikely and Rowan knew it. Connor was out for blood. There was little chance of getting Caroline out of there alive if Connor had made up his mind to kill her. Rowan’s only hope was that he could talk some sense into Connor. There was no chance that Caroline was going to escape the executioners block but Rowan wanted Caroline to stand before the entire court and hear each and every charge against her. He also wanted all of Basmorte to hear the charges as well.

When she was executed, there could be no question in anyone’s mind about her guilt. Rowan couldn’t have people saying that the punishment was anything but just and impartial. Rowan would not have anyone believe that he’d had Caroline killed out of vengeance or worse yet, to take the throne from her.

Rowan sucked in a deep breath as they neared the monastery. This was the moment he’d dreamed of, the moment he’d prepared for and yet, being there now, so close to the woman who had made his life a living hell, Rowan found himself wondering if he could actually go through with it.

It was true that Rowan wanted Caroline to pay for her crimes and he wanted to be the one to bring her in but when he thought of the years of ridicule and abuse, the torment and the pain she’d caused, he couldn’t help but feel like a small child, cowering in fear as she towered over him. In many ways she was as bad as his father, maybe worse, and Rowan would be lying is he said that he wasn’t afraid of her, he was just good at hiding his fear.

You can do this. Rowan thought. She’s just one person.

“Rowan?” Thaden furrowed his brow, watching Rowan closely. More now than ever he wanted to scoop Rowan up in his arms and whisk him away to safety. Rowan was his to protect. He was vulnerable, pregnant, and still so young to be burdened with such a daunting task. Thaden began to wonder if he should have insisted that Lierin send a handful of his Knights to arrest Caroline but then he recalled Tomag’s words. Rowan was stronger than even Thaden gave him credit for. He was brave, headstrong and resilient. Thaden realized that Rowan had been right. He needed to do this. It had to be him. It was the only way to prove that he truly was ready to rule his Kingdom.

“I’m alright.” Rowan assured him. He dismounted then tied off his horse to a nearby tree. Thaden did the same.

It’s now or never. He told himself. Then, steeling his nerves, he pushed open the heavy doors of the monastery and walked inside.

When Rowan entered the abandoned building, he expected to find the former Queen standing inside, waiting for him with an air of authority as if she could order him to kneel before her. He expected her to appear regal, furious obviously, but not without the grace and nobility of a Queen. What he found though was anything but what he’d expected.

A pang of shock coursed through Rowan as his eyes fell upon the crumpled shell of a woman cowering in the corner. At first, the shadows obscured her, but as Rowan drew closer he could see her more closely and he realized that he hardly recognized the woman. Once a formidable woman, proud, and powerful, she now appeared aged and decrepit. A mere shadow of her former self. Her back hunched and even through the black cloak she wore, Rowan could see that her frame was thin and frail.

Her once vibrant, golden curls, now a cascade of silver-white strands, framed a face that bore the weight of countless seasons. Time had etched lines upon her face like ancient hieroglyphs, each wrinkle a testament to the years she had weathered. Her eyes, though dimmed with the haze of age, resembled pools of faded azure, hinting at the vividness they once held. Her hands were gnarled and twisted, like the roots of an ancient tree. Her fingers contorted into skeletal claws that she held close to her chest. Dark, purple-blue veins mapped pathways beneath translucent skin. Her nails were thick and yellowed with age.

She looked as though time had sped up, her centuries of life catching up to her, aging her decades in mere hours. There was nothing of the cold and imposing woman she had been. The one word that sprang to Rowan’s mind was pathetic. Caroline truly looked pathetic.

Despite her fragile form, there lingered an aura of quiet strength about her, an inner resilience that had remained unbroken. Rowan took a hesitant step closer and the woman flinched, drawing back and away from him. The fury that had once simmered inside of him began to calm and his expression softened. He felt a surge of pity when he saw the terror in her eyes.

She didn’t see him as she once had, as a pitiful child that she could abuse and humiliate. She saw him as a threat, as a source of danger. She saw him, as a monster.

Rowan reached out with his senses and his eyes went wide. He could hear the blood rushing through her veins and the frantic beat of her heart. Her heart, a thing which had never beat a day in her entire existence. He could even smell her weakness. It assaulted his senses and overpowered his need to feed. He took a step back, covering his nose with his hand. The smell of decay clung to her like shit on the sole of a boot. She smelled like old, putrid, festering rot. She smelled, like death.

“What is it?” Thaden asked, confused by Rowan’s reaction.

Rowan turned to his husband, his lips pressed into a tight, thin line. His shoulders drooped and he slowly shook his head.

“She’s human.” He said, his voice dropped and he frowned. “I don’t know how but she’s human. And, she’s dying.”

Thaden raised an eyebrow at the revelation. “Dying? How can you tell?”

“I can smell it.” Rowan said, wincing as though the very thought disgusted him. “Her body is riddled with disease, her organs failing. She doesn’t have much time left. I doubt that she would even survive the journey back.”

“Should we leave her here?” Thaden asked, his eyes clouded with uncertainty.

Before Rowan could answer, Caroline cried out to him. “No!” Please. You can’t just leave me here, not like this.” Her desperate plea tugged at Rowan’s conscience but he was at a loss. If he left her, she’d be dead in a matter or hours. If they tried to move her, the likeliness that she’d survive was slim. And if they did manage to bring her back alive, what then? She wouldn’t live long enough to stand trial. Her fate had been sealed before Rowan had even found her.

“This is Agren’s doing.” Thaden rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at Caroline.

“No.” Rowan said, his voice thick with sorrow. “Caroline did this to herself. The witch may have cast the spell but Caroline’s own actions brought her to this. She has no one to blame but herself.”

Rowan’s eyes flickered toward the distant howling of wolves, and a trouble expression darkened his features.

Caroline’s eyes widened with fright. “What was that!” She demanded, her voice cracked with age.

“Wolves.” Rowan answered, his expression grim. “Connor, the Alpha of the Wolfhaven pack and his pack mates followed us here. They want revenge for the deaths of their men.”

“I had nothing to do with that!” Caroline screeched. Another chorus of howls echoed throughout the night, closer now. Caroline’s body trembled like a leaf caught in a storm. Her eyes, wide, pupils dilated, swallowed the color of her irises. A ghost like pallor had washed over her features, draining any color from her face, leaving behind a sickly, pallid, hue.

“You absolutely had everything to do with that!” Rowan shouted, causing her to flinch away from him. “This, all of this, is because of you!”

He waved his hands around the room to illustrate his point. “You orchestrated all of this. You murdered my father, stole his crown, tried to kill me...twice! You have connived and manipulated your way to the top, driven by greed and the desire for power. You didn’t care who you stepped on or who you hurt, all just to get what you wanted. You have done nothing but spread turmoil and misery and now you have the audacity to beg me...me...for help? If you expect forgiveness or kindness from me then you are going to be sorely disappointment. After all that you have done to me, after all that you have done to my people, there is nothing left in me that feels anything but hate and animosity toward you.”

Tears filled Caroline’s eyes though Rowan suspected they were tears of self pity rather than remorse for anything she had done. “Please, Rowan.” She sobbed. “If you leave me here, I’ll die.”

“No.” Rowan said, his voice cold and devoid of feeling. “You are already dead and I am content to let you rot.”

“Go on then.” Caroline hissed, at last showing her true nature. “This is what you want, isn’t it? To see me dead? Why not kill me now? Why leave me to the wolves?”

“And deny Connor his revenge?” Rowan raised and eyebrow as he stared her down. “At least this way I’ll know that you’ve paid for your crimes.”

“You’re vile!” Caroline screamed. Her voice was hoarse, barely rising above a whisper. “You’re cruel, and heartless, just like your father!”

“I am nothing like my father!” Rowan spun around and glared at the woman. “I will never treat my family, my children, as he treated me. The best thing you ever did was end his life and now, you can join him in hell!”

Rowan turned his back on her and faced Thaden. “She’s no longer a threat to us, or anyone else.” He murmured. “Let’s go. She’s powerless now.”

Thaden nodded, “Alright.” He and Rowan walked, hand in hand, back to the doors of the monastery, leaving Caroline behind. Her cries for help filled the night air, blending with the howls of the approaching Lycans.

Caroline’s eyes remained haunted, a desperate plea for escape that seemed to ricochet through the very core of her being.

Every noise, every creak and rustle, sent shivers down her spine, amplifying her dread. Her eyes darted around, searching for hidden threats lurking in the darkness. In the grip of such all-consuming fear, her existence seemed to hinge on the edge of a precipice, teetering between life and death. Her mind was awash with a singular, overwhelming need--to escape the clutches of fate, that unseen horror which held her in its suffocating grip.

As Thaden and Rowan rode away from the monastery, Rowan couldn’t help but feel a stab of sympathy for the wretched thing he’d left behind--a poignant reminder of the consequences borne from the choices we make, in the shadows of desire.