Shadows Of Desire

Thaden stormed out of the office and down the hallway, pushing past servants until he turned the corner and found himself alone, finally. He stopped, took a deep breath, then slammed his fist into the wall and wept. His emotions felt raw as he let out everything that he’d been holding in. His father’s words echoed in his mind, over and over again until he could no longer stand the sound of the old man’s voice.

“You will not take that creature as your mate!” His father had yelled, furious that Thaden could even consider such a thing. “I forbid it!”

“How can I not?” Thaden yelled back, tears in his eyes. He clenched his fists at his side and shook in anger. Didn’t his father understand the gravity of the situation? “He is my mate. Chosen for me by the mother Goddess herself. I can not deny that and neither can you.”

“And yet I do.” The King growled, his eyes glowing red as he stared Thaden down. “It is a mistake. A horrible mistake. He can not and will not be your mate!”

“The Goddess Danu does not make mistakes.” Thaden argued. “If it is her will there is nothing that we can do.”

“Rubbish.” King Elandor rubbed his hand over his face and sighed. “It is witchcraft. The blackest kind. I was willing to keep that creature alive for the time being but now I see that I have no choice. He must die.”

“No!” Thaden suddenly howled in rage. “You can not do this! I won’t let you do this!” He lunged forward suddenly, intending to strike his father but Nasir and Lierin quickly intervened and subdued him.

“Be still, brother.” Lierin whispered into Thaden’s ear. “What good can you do your mate if you yourself are dead?”

Thaden took in a deep breath and calmed himself enough that the others released him. He looked to his father and glared at him, hard. “I will not allow you to harm my mate.” He repeated. “Allow me to take him away from here. I promise you that he will never return to Rosegate, just...let him live.”

The King pursed his lips as he considered Thaden’s request. Slowly, and with a heavy heart, he shook his head. “I can not. He is too dangerous. Allowing him to live now would destroy all that we have worked to achieve for the past twenty years. I am sorry my son, but the creature dies at dawn. There can be no other way.”

“If you kill him,” Thaden sneered, “You kill me. I can not survive without him.”

The King nodded sadly. “If that is how it must be, then so be it.”

Thaden couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Nasir and Lierin were shocked as well. Would the King really be so heartless as to allow his own son to suffer just because he failed to believe that someone, a vampire, could be different? Did his own child’s life mean so little to him?

“Sire, you know the ramifications of what you are proposing.” It was Lierin who spoke up now. “Mates can not be separated once they have found each other and made a connection. If the vampire truly is Thaden’s mate then killing him would be disastrous for Thaden. He’ll die with him if he’s lucky, if not, he’ll go mad.”

“And if Thaden survives, we’ll all know that the creature had bewitched him, for the spell he has cast over Thaden will have broken.”

“And if it not witchcraft?” Thaden asked, narrowing his eyes at his father. “If he really is my mate? Are you willing to condemn me to death?”

“It would be a far kinder fate than allowing you to live your life mated to a monster.” The King folded his hands neatly on top of the desk. The looks of shock and anger from his two sons meaning nothing to him.

“Sire, surly there must be another way.” It was Nasir now who spoke. “Perhaps, life locked away in a tower.”

The King raised an eyebrow as he studied Nasir’s face. “Nasir, weren’t you the one who not long ago suggested I have the beast beheaded?”

“Y-yes.” Nasir looked from Thaden to the King nervously. “But, that was before I knew that he was Thaden’s mate. As much as I hate the vampires, I do not want Prince Thaden to suffer.”

“He’ll suffer worse with that blood sucker as a mate.” The King said. “Now, the mattered has been handled. I’ll hear no more about it.”

Thaden threw up his hands then turned to leave when Nasir grabbed his arm. “Thaden.” His friend spoke to him as though speaking to a wounded animal. Thaden could see the regret in Nasir’s eyes but he didn’t care.

“Leave me a lone Nasir.” He hissed.

“Thaden please, I know you. Don’t do anything rash.”

“You know me?” Thaden narrowed his eyes as he glared at the man. “You know me so well that you went behind my back? You know me so well that you couldn’t trust that I knew what I was doing? That I had a reason for what I was doing? If you had just waited, let me come to my brother on my own, all of this could have been avoided.”

“Thaden, you have to believe me, I was only trying to help you.”

“Really? Well your help has just condemned my mate to his death.” Thaden jerked his arm back roughly, out of Nasir’s grasp. “I see now where your loyalties lie, Nasir. Not with me.”

Nasir opened his mouth to speak again but Thaden quickly left the room, slamming the door closed loudly behind him. He didn’t give a damn what his father said. He wouldn’t allow Rowan to be executed. He had to do something. He just didn’t know what. But, whatever he did, had to be done now. Dawn was fast approaching.

***

Rowan stood in the middle of the guest suite, feeling somewhat dazed after what had just almost happened. Thaden had nearly kissed him. Rowan smiled as he recalled the moment when their lips almost touched. He remembered the feel of Thaden’s touch as he held Rowan’s hands and the fast, rhythmic, beating of Thaden’s heart that seemed to quicken the closer he came to Rowan. It was almost magical the way their bodies reacted to one another. Rowan had never felt anything as powerful as the pull he felt towards the elven Prince or the longing ache in his heart when Thaden pulled away from him.

Rowan sighed then walked to the cushioned bench seat in front of the large, arched, window and sat down. He missed Thaden almost as soon as he’d run out the door. He missed his strong arms, his soft hands, and the way that he’d looked at Rowan when their hands touched. Rowan saw true yearning there and a desire that he couldn’t quite explain. It wasn’t like the lust that he saw in Lord Killian’s eyes. It was more pure than that. It was like an overwhelming need just to be close to each other. To hold each other and never let go. If this was what love felt like then Rowan knew he was in trouble because he was falling completely, and unequivocally, in love with Thaden.

“I’m such a fool.” Rowan spoke softly to the empty room. How could he be falling for the elven Prince? They were enemies, sworn to destroy each other, and separated by years of hate and fighting. Even despite the way that Thaden had looked at Rowan, Rowan couldn’t really believe that Thaden would ever have the same feelings for him. Rowan was a prisoner after all. Thaden was clear about that. Soon he’d be taken before the Crown Prince and after that, who knows what. He could spend the rest of his life in a cell, or worse.

Rowan didn’t want to think about worse. Though, there was an odd sense of comfort in that. The worst thing he could possibly suffer would be a life without Thaden. Death was a pale comparison to that. Even now, sitting alone in his room, Rowan felt such a deep longing for the other man that it literally pained him. He knew he couldn’t survive without Thaden, it just wasn’t an option. The longer he sat there the more he wished that things could have been different. He wished that he wasn’t King Desmond’s son. He wished that he wasn’t a vampire. Why had he been born to this life, born the enemy of the man he loved? It seemed so unfair. Why had the Gods blessed him with a mate who probably hated him?

Rowan sighed as he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Fate was a cruel, heartless, being. Why offer him happiness and then just rip it away? It seemed even the fates took pleasure in tormenting him. Maybe that’s all his life would ever amount to. One disappointment after another. Constantly grasping at something that was always just out of reach. Rowan couldn’t help but think that he had been cursed with a miserable existence. An existence that he had worked so hard to escape from. He had to have hope though. Hope that things could be different. Hope that he could find happiness, and hold onto it. He deserved that much. Fates be damned, he deserved happiness.

***

Rowan must have fallen asleep on that bench by the window because the next thing he knew, Thaden was standing over him, shaking him awake. He opened his eyes and stared up at the Prince, groggily.

“Wake up.” Thaden was saying, almost in a whisper. “We have to go. Right now, we have to leave.”

Rowan took a moment to process what Thaden was saying then his eyes went wide with fear. “Why?” He asked, his voice cracked and dry. He coughed to clear his throat then spoke again. “What’s happened?”

Thaden hesitated a moment then sighed, realizing he couldn’t lie to his mate. “My father, he found out about you. He wants...he’s going to execute you at dawn.”

Rowan gasped, bringing a hand to his lips as he began to shake. His eyes filled with tears and he began to sob. This is what he’d feared. There was no reason to believe that the elven King would spare his life. He was the son of his enemy after all. He probably thought that killing Rowan would hurt the vampire King. Rowan laughed a bitter laugh internally. If only the elven King knew, he’d be doing Desmond a favor in killing the vampire Kings unloved and unwanted child.

Sensing Rowan’s fear and pain, Thaden scooped the young Prince up in his arms and held him close. “I won’t let him kill you.” Thaden said, holding Rowan’s head against his chest as he stroked his long, silken, black locks. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Rowan closed his eyes and allowed the soothing sound of Thaden’s heart calm him some. He reached his arms up and encircled Thaden’s neck, pushing himself closer against the elf Prince’s warm body, melting into his protective embrace. His scent overwhelmed Rowan and the heat of his body stirred desires in Rowan that he had never felt before.

Thaden held Rowan close against him, whispering against his ear anything that he thought would ease the boys fears and relax him. It felt so natural to hold Rowan against him like that. Rowan was made for him. They were the perfect match in every way. Why Thaden’s father couldn’t see that he didn’t know nor did he care. The only concern he had now was keeping Rowan safe. Even if that meant defying his father and escaping with Rowan.

Finally, Rowan pulled back. He wiped at his eyes then looked up to Thaden, meeting his eyes. Rowan had so many questions but he knew there wasn’t time, they had to go. But, before he could leave with Thaden, there was one very important question that he had to ask. It couldn’t wait. Rowan forced a small smile and timidly asked, “Why are you helping me?”

Thaden was taken aback by the question. Surely Rowan already knew the answer to that. Couldn’t he feel it? Was it so different for vampire’s that Rowan couldn’t sense his own mate when he was standing right in front of him? Or, was it perhaps that Rowan was just too young? That must have been it, He was too young, too innocent, and far too sheltered.

Thaden gently placed a hand on Rowan’s cheek and smiled warmly at the boy. “Do you feel that?” Thaden whispered. “The spark of energy between us?”

Rowan nodded. “It’s like a pull, guiding me towards you.”

“Yes, exactly.” Thaden’s eyes shimmered with tears of happiness, realizing that Rowan felt the pull the same as he had. “It’s a bond that’s trying to form between us. The longer we’re together, the stronger it will become. It’s like an invisible ribbon, connecting our hearts and souls, making us one. It’s because we’re mates, little fox. You and I.”

Rowan put his hand to his heart and nodded. “I-I felt it too. I wasn’t sure what it was but I felt it. This strong urge or need to be near you. When you touched my hands earlier and looked into my eyes, it’s like I was swept away and then when you were gone, it’s like I couldn’t breath. I knew I needed you. I needed you here, beside me, holding me. I don’t know why or when it happened but I just knew...I knew I loved you.”

Rowan’s words lifted Thaden’s soul to new heights and left him feeling as through he were soaring. The amount of love he felt for his mate was staggering but to hear Rowan say that he felt the same way, well, that was amazing. Truly and utterly amazing. Thaden had no words to describe what he was feeling in that moment so, instead of speaking, he leaned forward, cupping Rowan’s face in his hands, and pressed their lips together.

If there was indeed a heaven, Thaden suspected he was there because kissing Rowan, his mate, was like touching God. No words could describe what he was feeling in that moment. It was as if, in a single instant, their two worlds had collided. He could see a future together with Rowan, walking hand in hand, smiling, laughing, and completely happy together. This life that he envisioned, it was the life that he wanted with Rowan and he knew that it was what Rowan wanted as well. He could feel his emotions, almost see his thoughts, as if they were of one mind.

Slowly, Thaden pulled back, breaking the spell of the kiss. Rowan opened his eyes and exhaled a shaky breath. “Did you...” He started to ask. Thaden nodded. “I felt it too.” He confirmed.

“Was it real?” Rowan asked, tears in his eyes.

“It can be.” Thaden brushed a strand of dark hair away from Rowan’s eyes. “We can have that life, and so much more.”

“But how?” Rowan asked. His hands began to shake and Thaden quickly reached out, taking Rowan’s hands in his. He squeezed gently, rubbing his thumb over the soft, smooth, surface of Rowan’s skin. “How can we be together?” Rowan asked. “When your father hates me?”

“We run.” Thaden answered, his voice stern and confident. “We leave this place and never return. I’ll take us someplace where we can be together, where we can be safe. Someplace my father will never find us.”

“You would do that, for me?” Rowan asked. “You’d be leaving so much behind. Your family, your friends, your kingdom...”

Thaden shook his head. “None of that matters without you.” He told him. “You mean everything to me. I could no sooner give you up than I could give up breathing. I can not live without breathing and I can not live without you. You, Rowan, are the one thing that has been missing from my life. My heart chose you and only you because, you are my heart.”

Rowan’s chin began to quiver and he pressed his lips together as he attempted to suppress the tears that threatened to fall. His mind was a jumbled mix of emotions as he listened to the words that Thaden spoke. Rowan could barely believe what he was hearing. Thaden loved him. Not the way his mother had loved him or the way that Folen loved him. Thaden wanted him as his mate. He accepted him and was willing to give up the life he knew to start a new life with Rowan. It was more than he could have ever hoped for, but was it right?

Rowan let his hands fall into his lap as he turned his face away from Thaden. “Thaden, you’ve made me happier than I can ever remember being in my entire life. I want nothing more than to leave with you and start a new somewhere. I want a future with you but, to leave behind all that you love...I can not ask that of you. It’s too much.”

Thaden took Rowan’s hands in his then pressed his forehead against Rowan’s soft, raven, hair. “Rowan, you are all that I love. The Goddess gave you to me and I’m not about to reject her gift. Of all the people in all the world, you were made for me. How can I just walk away from that?”

“But...” Rowan looked up, meeting Thaden’s eyes once more. “Will it be enough? Will I be enough?”

Thaden smiled and drew Rowan against him again, cradling the boy gently in his arms. “Little fox, you are more than enough. You, Rowan, are my everything.” Thaden kissed him again, this kiss as sweet and passionate as the first and Rowan simply melted into Thaden’s arms. Rowan knew in an instant that he could not live without Thaden anymore than Thaden could live without him. It simply wasn’t possible.

“Alright.” Rowan said, breathlessly, when they pulled apart. “Let’s runaway together and start a new life.”

“You’re sure?” Thaden asked. “You’ll be leaving behind your old life too. Your friends and your kingdom.”

“I’m sure.” Rowan nodded. “There’s nothing left for me in Basmorte, It was never really my home to begin with and my friends risked everything to get me out. I owe it to them to find happiness. It’s all they ever wanted for me.”

Thaden smiled then kissed the top of Rowan’s head. “Good. I already have a plan. I’ll sneak you out of the palace. We’ll hide in the stables and then leave at night fall. We can escape into the forest and ride until dawn. We’ll be long gone before anyone even realizes we’ve left.”

“I’m ready.” Rowan assured him. His eyes shone with the love that he felt for this man. It was a love that would stand the test of time, unwavering and true.“My love, I’ll follow you anywhere.”