Shadowblade: An Epic Fantasy Adventure Romance (A Dance of Fire and Shadow Book 1)

I WAKE TO A STRANGE low humming, but the power of it is more than just the sound. The vibrations seem to come from the earth itself, magnified as they echo back and forth from the rock walls and roof to run through my body as if I have become part of the living energy of this place. I open my eyes to the pale glimmer of dawn filtering through the wide mouth of the cave. The bats are silent now, hanging like a thousand black fruits from glittering crystals in the ceiling.

Marin is nowhere to be seen but even without his calming influence this rippling harmony of the mountain is flowing through me like liquid light. It is exhilarating and relaxing, the strident dissonance of yesterday only a memory. I can’t believe it has all happened so quickly, yet I somehow sense that this reprieve will only last until the humming stops. I run outside, splash my face hastily in the rock pool at the edge of the courtyard, and then make my way through the tunnel to find Marin.

The humming is louder here, coming from the entrance to the great arched cave where I met Jantian yesterday. I suddenly feel cautious, not wanting Jantian’s fierce disapproval focused on me for intruding where I shouldn’t. But the music is too compelling, drawing me irresistibly into the waves of sound. I take a deep breath and walk inside.

The great cavern is filled with movement. The gold light of the rising sun filters through the crystalline openings, rippling green from the trees growing around the inlets. The arched space is filled with people moving among the rays of dancing green-gold light. Every one of the Eldrin garrison must be here, almost fifty warriors going through sword forms in unison, guided by the music. The sound is so powerful in this glittering space it sweeps everything along with it.

I long to join in and be part of this, even more than I itched to join in the dancing at our village festivals, but Marin took my blades when he rescued me from the city slave-hunters and he hasn’t returned them.

Then I notice a rack of training blades near the entrance and when I look closer at everyone I can see that the dull glint as they move is not crysteel. The fact that they are using blunt training blades does rather suggest they will soon move on to something more challenging than forms, but I don’t care. I grab a pair of blades and scuttle across to the back of the group.

As soon as I start to move I can feel the humming energy carry me through the sequence, the intensity increasing and empowering rather than causing the jarring dissonance of yesterday. A few minutes more and I can sense the presence of the others in the flow, as if they could take me through the forms even if I had no previous experience of the moves.

Maybe this is what flying feels like. I don’t want it to end, lost in blissful movement and connection, a bittersweet contrast to how lonely I have felt these last few days on the wrong end of everyone’s suspicions.

I don’t hear Jantian call a halt but simply follow the flow of the others as they slow the pace and stop. They are moving into pairs, which can only mean actual sparring practice.

If the Eldrin are using training blades…

To my relief Marin steps in front of me. I relax, trusting him to anticipate what I know and where my weaknesses still lie. When his blade lunges towards me I feel the same intuitive pattern I sensed in the forms, still carried on the sound. Even though he is rapidly throwing in one unknown challenge after another, the frequency seems to guide my response in an effortless series of counter-moves, until we are both carried by the waves of power running through the mountain.

I feel him slow down even before I see him put up his blade in a silent salutation.

“Not bad for a first time.”

I step back, smiling and exhilarated as I push damp hair off my face.

“It was wonderful, Marin! But it was too easy. How does that prepare anyone to deal with being outnumbered by a legion of bloodthirsty Rapathians?”

As soon as I see the flicker of uncertainty on his face I know there must be something in all this that I have completely misunderstood.

“Ariel, that is not what this is for. Couldn’t you tell? It’s about aligning ourselves with the power of this place. Collectively. Learning to work together intuitively, aware of each warrior as an extension of ourselves.”

Of course, now he has pointed it out it makes perfect sense. I feel annoyed with myself that I couldn’t see it before. Something about the way I am in the habit of interpreting things…

The humming stops suddenly. Marin glances round and I follow his gaze to see one of the Eldrin stepping away from the wall. There is a small hollow at head height and the man is rubbing his lips the same way as the flute player in our village would every time he finished making music…

“Marin, was he making the sound?”

He shrugs, as if surprised I even needed to ask.

“We take turns. It’s another way to deepen the attunement with the energy-source here. Learning to consciously vary the level of connection.”

The dissonance is returning, mercifully only a whisper compared to yesterday. Seems like I will need to learn how to create that attunement in myself even when the sound is not there to help. Now Marin’s explanation is much clearer. Except for one thing.

“Marin, why was I perfectly all right with the Blade’s gift until I came here? What is different about it?”

He hesitates, maybe trying to find a less critical way of explaining, then gives a slight shrug, probably figuring I should be used to criticism by now.

“Except that you weren’t perfectly all right with it. I don’t fully understand why or how, but Blade adepts only seem to be given the part that empowers physical skill and mental alertness. The aspect that is always missing, the part that you can find here in the natural flow of it, is the aspect that connects with your emotions, spirit, humanity, whatever you choose to call it––and also connects to the other people around you so that you can work as part of a team.”

“So the horrible buzzing is an imbalance trying to sort itself out?”

“I suppose so. The way you were with the Blade’s gift, it was like… you had been given the ability to ride a huge warhorse but you couldn’t control it. Learning to control the power before it controls you is the hardest part. But that is the key aspect essential for the Eldrin if we are to work together, instead of all that energy erupting in disagreements and fights all the time.”

“Has anyone else started from where I am?”

“No.”

That doesn’t sound very encouraging. Maybe having no choice about it helps dull the rush of fear the thought brings. There is no time to ask more questions as everyone starts filing out of the cavern.

“Where now?”

He steers me to the entrance. “Exactly what you noticed was missing. Actual fight training. On the other side where we will get less support from this place. Then later still, we use a meadow further away where we are completely on our own with it.”

We reach the front courtyard to find ten of the Eldrin pulling on sets of Rapathian gear they must have taken from either the battlefield or maybe from skirmishes near the city I have not even heard about yet. Another reminder of how unfamiliar everything still is. Suddenly Marin pushes me towards the fake Rapathians.

“Maybe you’re right about it being too easy. Putting you on the enemy side might up the challenge a little.”

I can’t imagine how they are going to find a Rapathian mailshirt that doesn’t pool around my ankles like a set of iron fetters but it seems they have already adapted a few so that the other women here can take a turn. It’s damn heavy and totally changes the way I move but I can sense the force of sheer weight behind every step and every swing of the ponderous single blade. I check anxiously to make sure that the cutting edges have been filed down and catch Marin watching my face. He seems satisfied at my expression of relief.

Then it starts. Suddenly I am confronted with one warrior after another dancing round me at a speed that makes me feel as if I’m in one of those terrible dreams where you are desperately trying to run through treacle. I take a few blows I know will leave me black and blue even through the heavy mail.

Finally I stop trying to move the way I’m used to and start devising strategies based on weight and sheer brute force. I can’t be sure whether it is the Blade’s gift or the elemental power of Maratic helping with this, but I feel sure I couldn’t do any of it without something extra carrying me through.

At last I can push back my adversaries and even manage to trip and twist one of them onto the ground. Yes! A rush of fierce elation runs through me.

Maybe my team will win this instead of being merely objects for the Eldrin to practice on.

Somewhere in the midst of the battle I remember Marin’s comment about teamwork being an essential part of the training and suddenly wake up to the fact that I haven’t thought at all about how my team is faring.

I look round and see to my horror they are still at the stage I was at a while ago, moving like Eldrin hampered by too much heavy gear. We’ll never win like this! It is so frustrating, infuriating. Without thinking, I yell at them.

“No! Like this!” In a blur of red anger I run straight at the opposition. Everything slows except my own movements. This is like the fight at the slave pen over again, except now I’m the Rapathian guard fighting a team of lightly-armed Eldrin, and I know exactly how to do it––

“Ariel! Stop!”

There is something utterly compelling about the way Deris yells at me. I freeze, suddenly horribly aware that I have no idea what I have been doing or for how long. A cold shiver runs through me as I look down. I have disarmed one of my opponents and he’s lying on the ground with my boot pinning his wrist to the cool rock paving.

That wouldn’t be so bad if blood wasn’t gushing from a deep cut down one side of his face and neck. Worse still, if my sword wasn’t poised above his throat with both my hands on it, braced to drive downwards in the kind of killing blow I know for certain is possible even with a blunted blade.

I remember his name is Trengar and last night when I arrived I thanked him for taking care of Sahan for me. And now I’m a hairsbreadth away from killing him. In fact, he is losing so much blood from that cut it may be that Deris stopped me a few moments too late.

I sink to my knees beside him, overwhelmed with remorse and wishing more than anything I could turn back the last few minutes. Make my actions disappear as if they had never happened. Without thinking, I act from sheer guilt and instinct, laying my hands over the gaping cut as if by covering it I can somehow make it go away.

And then I push. The only way I can describe it, that conscious forcing of energy out of myself. Trengar twitches with pain or shock––or probably both. Cautiously I lift my hands away, praying I haven’t made things worse. My experiments so far have a nasty habit of not quite working out as well as I hoped.

To my enormous relief it looks all right. In fact it looks more than all right, as if it has been healing for at least a week. I look round, suddenly feeling incredibly drained and dizzy. Marin grabs my hand and helps me to my feet. But what suddenly takes all my attention is Deris, being supported by two of his friends who are trying to bind the long jagged cut on his arm. With a heavy sinking feeling the scene tells me that Trengar was not my first victim. I struggle free from Marin’s grip and reach for Deris’ bloody arm.

He tries to push me away with his uninjured hand and I feel the flow of energy being blocked by his sheer force of will.

“Deris! Let me do this. I’m really sorry it happened.”

He shakes his head. “It isn’t serious like Trengar’s wound. Best we learn what else it does first.”

I turn back to see Jantian reach Trengar and kneel beside him, hands gently laid on the half-healed wound, his eyes closed in concentration.

My flush of achievement fades into failure once more.

What else might it do?

I can’t manage to wrap more than a whisper around the question as I start to understand what everyone is thinking.

“You mean I shouldn’t have tried to heal Trengar? Jantian fears it will be destructive, corrupting, just like the Blade’s gift?”

Marin steers me over to the wall and peels off my heavy Rapathian mailshirt. I feel so weakened by what I just did that I have to cling to his arm to stay upright. He helps me sit down.

“We’re all trying to understand new things here, Ariel. You look like you need time to recover before you try anything like that again.” He squeezes my hand reassuringly. “I think now we can all see that you mean no harm. You just can’t control what you’re doing when things start to move fast.”

There is blood running down his face from a cut on his forehead. He must have tried to intervene at some point and nearly paid for it with his life. So much for learning to control this thing before it controls me.

“It wasn’t the speed.” I close my eyes, trying to recall what happened through the mist of exhaustion. “It was frustration that the rest of my team couldn’t learn fast enough. Then I felt angry because I could see it meant we were not going to win.”

Marin doesn’t answer. Instead he waves Brac to follow us, picks me up and carries me back to the training cave. Brac walks straight over to the hollow in the wall and starts to blow into it. As the humming blooms into the empty space of the cavern Marin sets me down and kneels beside me.

“Stay focused on the anger you felt until the sound helps you get it under control. Try to recall the moments you missed, when you didn’t know what you were doing.”

I focus as hard as my tiredness will let me. I lose track of time. At first the anger seems to want to keep itself separate from the blissful humming of the air around me. I stay with it for a while until the two strands start to converge and I can feel them both as nothing but pure energy.

Now I can choose how to use that power and the images and feelings of those lost moments in the fight start to return. I can remember exactly how the slash was executed. The one that would have taken Deris’ head off if he hadn’t twisted aside just in time.

Suddenly I feel overwhelmed by what I’ve done. I’m reliving the experience of trying to kill my friend over and over. It’s horrible. This is someone who has watched my back, protected me at risk of his own life, been willing to converse with sympathy for my situation.

I want to break down and cry, to wash it away with tears, but they refuse to come. I cover my face with my hands but it doesn’t shut out images that will haunt me the rest of my life.

How much worse would it be if I had actually killed him?

Someone has his arms around my shoulders. I can tell it is not Marin. Long slender fingers wrap around my hands and I’m held close in a way that feels concerned and comforting. I look up and see Deris’ anxious face.

“Ariel? You all right?”

I nod dumbly, unable to believe he could forgive me so easily. A bloody bandage is wrapped around his arm. I find my voice.

“It’s me should be asking if you are all right.”

“The cut won’t take long to mend. I think you know how it is with the Eldrin now. We heal almost as fast as you do. I misjudged how far the rage had taken you. Thought I could hold you off with swordplay––until you whacked me really hard and I almost left it too late. Sorry.”

I suddenly understand what he means. The way he stopped me attacking him when we were escaping from the city with the slaves. The same way he used his voice again just now…

“Is it something your people can do? Command like that?”

He looks away, somehow awkward with the admission of what must be a skill particular to the Fae.

“Very few of us, unless we train with the Eldrin. We are sworn to only use it in cases of life and death. It would be wrong to use it idly for petty advantage.”

I can see how that would make people distrust these half-elven refugees even more than the fear of their skill in battle.

“I won’t mention it to anyone but the Eldrin, I promise.” I’m still thinking back to how Deris stopped me that time in Corinium. “Marin told you to watch me while we were in the city, stop me hurting anyone I shouldn’t?”

He nods, still looking apologetic. “Yes. You have to understand the way we need to lay down precautions until you get control of this thing.”

“Hey. Don’t be sorry. I’m really glad you were watching, both times. If I had actually killed one of you by mistake I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Good news is, Jantian checked Trengar really carefully and it looks like the healing you gave him is fine. Nothing like the effect the Blade has on people, although we won’t know for sure for a few days. It might even be something we can all learn, so we can help each other if someone is badly wounded in a fight.”

I feel as if a weight has been lifted off me. Brac has ceased his music and comes over to join us but this time I don’t miss it as much as I did before. Jantian’s approval makes me start to hope I might eventually get this right.

Have I really been able to do something that is actually useful? Will it finally mean that Marin and his friends will accept me? Almost on reflex, I reach out and press my hand to the cut on Marin’s forehead. When I take my hand away, the bleeding has stopped. I can feel my face breaking into a huge grin of delight as I run my fingers down to his chest.

“Marin? Can I––”

I stop myself. Getting all enthusiastic and asking the very handsome Captain of the Eldrin to remove his clothes is something that could get me into trouble all over again. I have an embarrassing feeling that Marin has understood my thoughts as he tries to hide a smile.

“What?”

I could swear he’s teasing. I have always been told my face reveals everything I’m thinking. Obviously my little sister doesn’t have that problem.

“I… was just curious to see if I could do more for the wound in your side as well.”

He puts a hand to his side, then pulls off his mail and tunic. Another jolt of power gathers itself in my hands as I press gently on the cut, until it looks as if it happened months ago.

“Looks like I can do something useful after all! When Jantian has double-checked that I haven’t corrupted you in the process of course.” I lean heavily on the wall of the cave. A pale mist of exhaustion swims in front of my eyes, but I don’t care. I turn back to Deris, but again he lays a restraining hand on my arm.

“Don’t get too carried away with this, Ariel. It weakens you. You need to learn to judge when and how.” He escorts me back to the open courtyard.

For all Deris’ concern for my survival, it seems that the severe regime of the Eldrin demands that if I can manage to stay on my feet, I am now duty bound to instruct the others on how to improve their Rapathian fighting techniques.

Nem’s comment has its usual sharp edge.

“Just hope you don’t go teaching the Rapathians how to fight like this.”

Still, I notice that either she is mellowing a bit or maybe it’s just my new-found euphoria providing an emotional shield that helps me to brush it aside.