Sex in C Major

"Tough."

"He'll just say no, and then-"

"He won't."

"He'll just say I have to go to the gender clinic, and that'll take years, and-"

"He won't."

"But-"

"I was an eighteen-year-old runaway Muslim girl when I got hormones. Do you really think I don't know how to do this?"

Stefan opened his mouth-and closed it again.

"Inside. Now."

Inside, the doctor's surgery was small and stuffy. Stefan hated the receptionist on sight, who tittered at his record and sunnily said, "Oh dear, someone's put you down as mister, dear!"

Stefan just flushed angrily. Yannis, however, leaned over the counter.

"That's correct," he said coldly. "And I'd thank you not to broadcast my boyfriend's medical history all over the waiting room."

Stefan froze.

That-that voice was Daz's. The master's voice. That steely tone that promised punishment. That icy timbre that promised pain.

His dick twitched in his jeans, and Stefan had to bite his lip and shove his hands in his jacket pockets. Oh God. Yannis had that voice, too?

The receptionist stammered an apology. They were directed to seats. She scuttled into the back room, looking anxious.

And Stefan whispered, "Are you are you totally sure you're asexual?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

Yannis smirked, sitting back and slouching like he didn't have a care in the world. Stefan, by contrast, sat rigid and fidgeting. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want the sceptical stare of a doctor. He didn't want to be told to see a psychiatrist first. He didn't want them to have no idea what he was talking about.

He wanted to go home.

Even the cuff around his thigh wasn't helping, and when his name was called, the spike of panic was like ground glass against his teeth.

Without quite meaning to, he slipped his hand into Yannis'.

Yannis, to Stefan's surprise, simply squeezed it and stood up.

"C'mon."

Stefan's legs felt rubbery. The doctor's expression was blank and bored as they were waved into his office. As he sat down on the plastic chair, Stefan gripped Yannis' hand harder, until he felt something creak, and Yannis grimaced.

"How can I help-" And there it was. The stutter over his title. Followed by his name.

Not Stefan. His legal name.

Stefan's gut rolled.

"Stefan."

Yannis' voice was smooth and calm.

And Stefan unglued his jaw.

"It's Stefan," he agreed. "I-I need a referral to-to the Leeds Gender Clinic."

The doctor stared.

"I'm transgender."

The word disappeared into the air. It dissolved in silence. The doctor didn't move.

Yannis cleared his throat, and the doctor jumped.

"Ah. Yes. I...see. Er..."

"Stefan."

Stefan licked his lips at the soft prompt. "And I need a referral to an endocrinologist. F-for hormone treatment." "The, ah, the clinic will-"

"Stefan's been taking hormones he bought online. He needs to see the endocrinologist sooner than the clinic can arrange."

Yannis' voice was silky smooth and cool. Not cold, exactly, but not friendly either. It reminded Stefan of being strapped to the coffee table, and Yannis calmly calling him an it, dispassionately asking Daz if he'd fucked it yet.

Stefan's dick, uncaring of how inappropriate it was, twitched.

"I'm-I'm not sure if "

"You can refer him directly. It's all set out in the WPATH guidelines. It would be more dangerous to leave him taking untested drugs than to have his treatment overseen from the outset while the gender clinic play catch-up."

Stefan swallowed.

"Stefan, if you've been taking illegal drugs-"

,

"I only took them because it would take years for anyone to do anything about it," Stefan mumbled.

"Where are you buying them?"

"I'm not stopping."

"They could be seriously dan-"

"I know that," Stefan interrupted, finally dragging his eyes up from the carpet to scowl at the doctor. "But it was that or or I ended up drinking myself to death. Or on even worse drugs to forget how much of a freak I was. So-so you can refer me to an endocrinologist and prescribe safe hormones, or I can keep taking my ones anyway."

Yannis' hand squeezed lightly around his own.

"The guidelines are clear," Yannis said calmly. "If a patient is at risk by taking unprescribed hormones, you can prescribe them as bridging treatment. You can start that right now yourself, or you can refer him to the endocrinologist and take responsibility for the fact Stefan will keep taking dangerous drugs until the endocrinologist issues a hospital prescription. Your choice."

The doctor fumbled, obviously far out of his depth. And yet with Yannis' cold, clinical lecture, and his hand warm and firm in Stefan's, Stefan almost felt...amused. Almost. The doctor had no idea what to do, and Yannis' flat ultimatum- almost threat was oddly empowering. If the doctor didn't play along, he'd be blamed if Stefan's over-the-internet hormones hurt him. He couldn't fob it off without consequences.