Seven for a Secret Never to be Told

Mia and Safi saw him first by the half open gate to the field. They stopped and waited for Mia’s Nan and then together they slowly walked forward and stood either side of him. He was staring ahead, his face not portraying his thoughts.

It was a hot afternoon and the heat made the air quiver. Hazy, sparkling light shivered above the long grass. Swallows crisscrossed the bright blue sky and dragonflies, their transparent wings traced with turquois, weaved through the dry nettle heads. But it was the sawing hum of the crickets which made their heads whirl as the sun blazed down. Then Bobby spoke.

‘There’s always been crickets here. When we were boys we used to catch them and keep them in jars. Tommy had a cricket 5 inches long. No word of a lie.’

‘You must have lots of memories,’ said Mia’s Nan. There was silence for a minute and then Bobby said.

‘We had some good times here…before…’

‘Before what?’ asked Mia. Bobby sighed and closed his eyes.

‘Before Tommy died.’

‘What happened Bobby?’ asked Safi. ‘What happened when Tommy died?’

‘We made a vow. Bernie said if we told anyone they’d blame us…’

‘There’s only you now Bobby,’ said Mia. ‘The other boys are dead. You can tell us now. It’s ok. It doesn’t have to be a secret anymore.’ The hum of the crickets seemed to get louder. After a while Bobby spoke.

‘Seven for a secret never to be told…there were seven boys in the Magpie Club until Tommy…until Tommy died. Seven for a secret never to be told….that’s what Bernie said.’

‘Bernie’s not here now,’ said Safi. Bobby dropped his head and out spilled the words like a magic spell tumbling into the world…the truth that had been kept secret for so long.

‘Tommy liked to pretend…one time he pretended he’d found a dead mermaid in the stream and we traipsed across the fields full of excitement to find some odd thing he’d made with Bernie’s sister’s dolly. He thought it was funny.’ Bobby smiled to himself. ‘That was our Tommy. Always trying to make you believe something that wasn’t true – it got him into a few punch ups too when his shenanigans upset the wrong people.’

‘What happened on the day he died?’ asked Mia. Bobby looked over to the willow copse, the branches arced like a loose curtain of pale green leaves.

‘It was a bitter cold day. We were all there. The bather was iced over and we were sliding around in our boots playing some Russian spy game. It was Christmas Eve. I was excited. I was going to get a crystal set. We’d been there all afternoon and the last bit of sun was disappearing. We were cold and wet and a few flakes of snow were falling. It was time to head home but Tommy…Tommy wanted to carry on playing. He didn’t like it when we said we were going.’

‘The rest of us began walking back across the field. The snow was getting heavier, it was going to be a white Christmas. We were laughing and messing around. That was the last time I was truly happy.’ He took a deep breath. ’Then we heard Tommy shouting. We couldn’t see him, it was almost dark and the snow was becoming a blizzard. He was calling ‘Help me, help me’ – that was the kind of thing Tommy would do. We thought we knew what would happen if we ran back…Tommy would jump out from behind a tree with that big grin on his face saying, ’I was only joking…’ He wanted to play on the ice in the dark and we didn’t. It was that simple.’ Tears ran down his face and his voice cracked as he spoke. ‘So we carried on walking away. We walked away while my brother drowned.’

Mia’s Nan put her arm around his shoulder.

‘You were children Bobby. You weren’t to blame…’

They looked out onto the field, golden headed ragwort leaned into clumps of brown grass and fat bees sat in the whiskery petals of purple thistles.

‘What’s that?’ said Mia as she pointed to a white fleck floating through the air. She let it settle on her hand. Her voice shook as she said. ‘It’s a snowflake.’ Then there was another and another until the air was filled with falling flakes of snow.

‘What’s going on Nan?’ asked Mia. She began to feel frightened.

‘I…I don’t know love.’ A mist was beginning to fall and the sun became an indistinct silvery disc. Mia felt goose bumps on her arms as the temperature dropped.

‘Nan, Saf, Look at our breath.’ It was suddenly so cold that their breath was white. They all stared into the field where the sound of cracking and crunching was getting closer and closer until at last they saw what it was; a carpet of frost creeping across the ground towards them. It stopped abruptly at the gate. Mia breathed in deeply, the cold air scratched her throat. The birds and crickets fell silent and an eerie stillness descended.

Out of nowhere a boy’s voice could be heard. His words sent shivers down Mia’s spine.

’Help me, help me.’

Bobby gripped the gate, his knuckles were white.

‘Nan, I’m scared.’ She shivered involuntarily. Safi reached for her hand.

‘It’s alright Mia.’

‘Look,’ said Mia’s Nan. ‘Look.’ All four of them stared into the frozen mist and there in the distance they could just make out movement. Then Bobby realised what was happening before all of them and let out a cry of pain and relief, joy and sorrow all mixed into one.

In the field, half blurred by the mist but still identifiable were the boys. The boys of the Magpie Club. The dead boys. Dennis Gregory with his neatly parted hair, Bernard Jaggers in his tightly buttoned jacket, Paul Marshall, Colin Keyes and Gerald Manders. The ghosts of the boys of the Magpie Club.

They stood for a while, faint images in the mist until the silence was interrupted again…

’Help me, help me.’ It was a boy’s voice emanating from the willows.

‘That’s Tommy…that’s our Tommy,’ cried Bobby. As he spoke the boys in the mist began to beckon him, their ghostly voices calling his name. ‘I’ve got to go.’ He stumbled over his words. ‘I can’t let him down this time. He’s giving me a second chance. He’s giving us all a second chance.’ He walked unsteadily through the open gate. Mia’s Nan caught his shoulder.

‘Are you sure Bobby?’ He nodded emphatically. Then with renewed vigour he turned to Mia and Safi.

‘Thank you. If it wasn’t for you I might never have got this chance. I hope it’s not too late.’ As he finished speaking another heartfelt ’help me’ penetrated the mist and swirling snow. The ghostly forms of the boys from the Magpie Club beckoned and called out for Bobby to join them.

Bobby walked forward and in moments disappeared into the mist. After years of bearing the burden of the secret alone he was at last in the company of friends. He was with the Magpie Club again.