Selcouth

Janet zipped up the dress. “Do you feel like a princess yet?”

I smoothed the gown, looking back at her. “I still don’t have breasts. Princesses have those.”

She fixed my hair, smiling. “Princesses don’t have a specific look. They can be black or white or in between. They can have breasts or not. A princess is just a strong woman who’s survived the stuff life dealt her.”

“You said princesses were daughters to royalty.”

“They are, technically speaking. Figuratively, they can be any girl. But either way, a king and a queen can still have a daughter who never gets breasts and that’s okay. You are still a princess. It’s your birthday. I want you to enjoy this and feel like you’re beautiful.”

I pushed my hair back, looking at myself in the mirror. I could not believe my eyes. I loved every bit of it but what stood out were the bruises on my neck. They were the same shade of purple as my gown. “Look at what she did to me.” I touched my neck, choking on a cry.

Janet grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. “She’s a monster. She can’t hurt you.”

“She already has.”

Janet pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry. You did not deserve such treatment.”

I nodded a bit. “Thank you for being so kind. Mother said people were cruel in this world.”

“There are cruel people. She is the example. There are also good people. You just have to know who is who and trust those who earn it.” She rubbed my back and pulled away.

I admired the dress again, smoothing my hands over the fabric. It was a lavender shade of purple, flowing out from the waist while being fitted above that area. It was a long sleeve with a lace top to it. The chest area dipped as a V, showing some of my stomach. Fabric flowers decorated the gown in a neat little pattern.

Janet took my hand and walked me out into the hall, twirling me around. “Meet our princess for the evening. Princess Rapunzel.”

The nurses and doctors clapped and some other patients were there as well.

I smiled at all of the people who were applauding for me. What was Mother so afraid of?

The staff played some music while they danced around with me. My skills were entirely awful but my joy did not allow me to care.

While spinning in my gown to the music, I caught of glimpse of Roman again. I stopped spinning, staring at him. The mystery that surrounded him was what really caught my interest.

I watched his demeanor change as a doctor began talking to him. He looked at the doctor, forgetting my existence.

I looked at Janet, walked over to her. “Is there anything you can tell me about Roman?”

She looked at him. “Why are you so interested in him?”

“You said patients can’t be with staff but I leave the hospital today. He’s just got much to him.” I looked over at him again.

She looked at me and shook her head. “He’s not that awesome. He’s just a nurse working here and he’s a blunt person.”

“Blunt?”

“He’s honest. He doesn’t hold back what he’s thinking.”

I watched Roman, pushing hair behind my ear. He seemed so... I couldn’t even think of a word.

Janet noticed my expression. “Rapunzel? He’s not a good man. You’re just a young woman who’s recovering from captivity for eighteen years. He’s a rude nurse. You two would never work.”

Her words barely registered with me. I watched Roman walk to another room, disappearing inside. I looked at Janet, ignoring her words. “He’s different. I want to know him. After today, I’m going to find out more about this man. I know you’re worried about me and that’s okay. I’m an adult now. I want to learn to make my own decisions.”

Janet knew she couldn’t stop me from doing so. I wanted to be a big girl.

I needed to see if my gut instinct was right about him. Was he worth knowing? Would I regret knowing him? “Janet, tell me something.”

“Yes?”

“Is there another reason why you’d warn me of him? Is he way older?”

“He’s a newer nurse. We don’t like him very much. He’s only twenty-two but he’s got one hell of a mouth on him.”

“Mouth?”

She looked up from her paperwork and nodded to me. “He’s so honest to the point that he’s just rude. We don’t fire him because he’s a good nurse. Even as direct as he is, patients somehow love him in the end because he fixes their problems. Without pain, people are happy.” She shrugged.

I nodded, smiling at her.

We finished my party and Janet let me keep the dress. I had no other clothes to wear at the moment and I wanted to continue to feel this way on my birthday.

I left the hospital, walking around the city. I wanted to spend the day exploring this new world. It was just so mesmerizing to watch the people go to all the places they needed to be.

My feet led me to a huge bridge that connected two cities together. I looked at the large structure, stepping foot onto it. I looked down at the water that flowed underneath this bridge.

I walked along the sidewalk some more and looked over the railing.

“Whoa, don’t jump over that. There’s a reason to keep living,” someone said behind me.

I looked back at her, tilting my head. “What do you mean?”

She came over, standing next to me. “I mean don’t jump into the water because you think your life isn’t worth something. It is.”

“I wasn’t going to jump.” I frowned. “I don’t know how to swim.”

“You don’t?” She looked at me. “Has someone hurt you?” She pointed to my bruises.

I looked at her. “Mother hurt me. She was a horrible mother. She kept me locked up for so long. Now I’m free. I want to forget about that life.”

She nodded. “That sounds awful. I wish I could help but I don’t know any therapists. Maybe you can test some out and see which one fits.”

I shivered, nodding a bit. “What’s a therapist?”

“A therapist is someone who helps you move on. They help you deal with your problems in a healthy way. You’ve been through trauma. It sounds like you could really benefit from it. You may be happy to be free but you’re going to remember everything. It haunts you.” She looked out at the water.

I watched her, shaking my head. She sounded as if she knew what it was like to be in my position. I would never wish such a fate on anyone else.

She turned to me and smiled a bit. “I just wanted to make sure you knew your life is worth more.”

“I couldn’t jump if I wanted to. There’s so much to explore in this world. My curiosity needs to be fulfilled. People seem so nice and interesting. I love it. This world is so strange yet so wondrous.”

She laughed. “That’s one way to see it. I guess you appreciate something more when you’re sheltered from it.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” She tightened her ponytail. “I have to go to work. I’ll see you around maybe.” She walked in the direction I came from.

I looked at the water again. It knew where it was going in life. Water didn’t feel lost or directionless.

The ground beneath my feet began to shake. I looked down, seeing the bridge moving. I looked at the structure and watched people flee the bridge and get out of their moving machines.

I moved back, starting to run the other way. I tripped, ripping my dress and scraping my knee. I got up, looking back at the bridge. So many people screamed and cried as they fell into the water below.

I ran back to the hospital, not knowing where else I was supposed to go. Doctors and nurses were rushing around as patients were brought in from the bridge accident.

I covered my mouth and sat down, trying to look away from the bloody injuries. Most people were okay but there were still those who were missing chunks of skin and body parts.

A nurse came out and looked at a doctor. “We lost another one.”

The doctor sighed. “That’s already ten dead patients. Keep finding more. We have to save as many as possible.”

I choked on a few cries, trying to hold back the pain. So many people were hurt and dying. This was the real world? This was not wondrous. This was horrendous.

More sirens sounded as nurses and doctors yelled directions around the hospital.

“We have a child in need of medical attention. Small child, no parents around, punctured lung. I need some attention, now, please!” a woman yelled as she grabbed a rolling bed with a little boy.

I swallowed, looking at all of the fast-moving bodies in the lobby. This madness went on all night and I had to take a breather in the bathroom, giving myself a chance to calm down. The rush and violence overwhelmed my brain. It was too much for me to take it at once. This was the real world now. Here, people still got hurt and died.

I went out into the lobby, sitting in a chair on the end. The energy seemed to slow down by now and doctors and nurses were filled with mixed emotions.

Janet saw me and came over. “What are you doing here?”

I sniffled, wiping my tears. “I...” I couldn’t finish my words.

“Rapunzel, speak to me.”

“All these people are dying and I wish I could save them but I can’t. I’m just one person.” I wiped more tears. It became a pointless action because I began to sob.

Janet wrapped her arms around me, holding me in her arms. “Don’t you blame yourself. You’re not meant to save all of them. It’s our job. You need to worry about yourself right now.”

“I want to help. I want to help everyone. I was there when they got hurt.”

“It’s okay. You can want to help but we are the ones who have to worry about these people. They’re our responsibility when they walk through those doors. Not yours.” She pushed my hair back.

I wiped my tears some more, looking at my hands. I just had a stupid light as my power. What good could it do to save these people?

“What about the little boy? The one with a punctured lung? Did he make it?”

Janet’s face didn’t lift up in spirit. She grabbed my hands, holding them tightly. “He didn’t.”

My sobs came back to take over again. “It’s not fair. He was so young. Why does this happen? Why does this happen in our world?”

“I wish I had the answers. I wish I could tell you it was going to be okay.” Janet stood up from the floor. “I need to go back and help more patients. I’ll come back when I can.”

I nodded, promising to wait. I had nowhere else to go. I had no home.

Janet left me to my own thoughts and emotions. I pulled my knees up, wrapping one arm around them. I drifted off into another place where the darkness stayed. It made me feel better.

I woke up when I felt someone gently pushing my shoulder. I rubbed my eyes, looking around the lobby. Most everyone was gone by now.

I looked at the nurse, expecting to see Janet. Instead, Roman was there.

My half-tired brain was trying to understand how this man was standing in front of me or if it was even real. Why would he want to talk to me? Was it allowed?

He pointed to my exposed knee. “We should get this cleaned up if you want to keep your leg.”