Seer

Brenda

A trip to the library wasn’t on the schedule for today, but if the kids all want to go I am fully supportive. Even Gabe and Jonathan are enthused about books? Odd but good.

Maybe while they’re looking for their dog training books or whatever I can glance through some wedding magazines. I know it’s a second wedding, so it won’t be as big a deal as our first, but I’d still like to do some planning. I wonder if I can find some suggestions about good second wedding dresses. A big floofy white one doesn’t really seem appropriate this time around.

When we arrive the kids all take off into the back, so I figure I’ll just let them do whatever they want for a while. I wonder how long a library can possibly hold their attention? I imagine Natalie and Timothy would stay here all day if they could, since they’re both such little bookworms. But Gabe and Jonathan? Unlikely.

So I find a couple of bridal magazines and settle in to one of the comfortable chairs in the reading area. I find myself lost in thought, ideas about our upcoming wedding swirling around through my head.

It’s so strange, how I both can’t believe that we’re getting married again, and how it is the most obvious and inevitable thing possible. Even though it was years and years, that period during which Ron and I were separated seems like a distant memory now. Like a bad dream, and I have finally awakened to the truth that we love each other, and are meant to be together. Every minute with him seems so natural, and so profoundly wonderful.

I flip the page, and see a dress I like. Hmm, this one has possibilities. Sort of a dark cream color, not white, and no lace or flounces. Just very simple, and elegant. I think Ron would like it.

“Stop it!” a kid shrieks from the back of the library. Startled, I look up from the magazine. There are more shrieks, from more kids, and a crashing sound of something falling over. As I’m getting up, hoping that it isn’t my kids but with a sinking feeling that it probably is, a librarian is already running past me towards the sounds of the ruckus. I follow along behind her.

We turn the corner to an aisle of bookshelves at the same time, and find Gabe and Jonathan rolling around on the ground next to a toppled shelf with books scattered everywhere, yelling and pummeling each other. Natalie is trying desperately to pull them apart, and Timothy is standing to the side white as a sheet. I am horrified.

The librarian and I rush to put an end to it. I push Natalie out of the way so we can grab the boys. I manage to get hold of Gabe’s arm and jerk him up and away from Jonathan. The librarian is holding Jonathan.

Gabe immediately gets control over himself, trying to slow his breathing. I release his arm. He goes straight over to Natalie. “Are you okay?” he asks. She nods, her eyes as wide as saucers, her hands over her mouth. She is clearly stricken with as much horror as I am about the scene. Timothy rigidly stares silently down at his feet.

Jonathan can’t calm himself down. He is yelling wordlessly and struggling with the librarian, an older lady. Another staffer comes running up, a young man who takes over, wrapping his arms around Jonathan from the back. The elder librarian steps away, thoroughly flustered.

Jonathan fights against the arms holding him tightly and yells “Let me go!”

The young man says “I will if you calm down, man, okay? Just calm down.”

Natalie, probably inadvisably, steps forward, and places her hand on Jonathan’s shoulder, above where the staffer is holding him in place. “It’s okay, Jonathan, it’s going to be okay,” she murmurs quietly to him.

Then the fight seems to just go out of him. He goes limp in the staffer’s arms, and after a second to make sure he’s really done fighting, the young man releases him. Jonathan sinks to the ground and buries his face in his hands, breathing heavily.

Natalie crouches next to him, and puts her arm around his shoulders. Gabe tries to go over there too, but I hold him back. I’ve seen Natalie calm Timothy down a million times, she can probably do it with Jonathan too.

She just silently stays with him for a minute, and he visibly relaxes. After a moment he lifts his face from his hands, looks into her eyes, and shakily says, “I’m sorry.”

Wait, Jonathan is apologizing to Natalie? Not Gabe? What is going on here?

She nods. “It’s okay, Jonathan. I think it’s time to go home, all right?”

He nods sullenly, and gets up after her. She looks over at me. “Yes, let’s go,” I say to the kids.

I turn to the librarian, thoroughly mortified. “I am so sorry. Do you need me to help clean this up?” There is a small shelf lying on its side, and books are scattered everywhere. The staffer goes over to pull the shelf upright.

She says, “No, I think it’s best if you just go ahead and take them home.” She clearly wants us gone as much as I want to leave. Thank goodness, I need to end this horrifying incident and get to the bottom of what happened.

“Ok, thank you. And again, I am so sorry. Come on, kids.”

Jonathan and Gabe silently follow along after me, Gabe’s mouth set in a furious line, and Jonathan crossing his arms over his chest. Natalie takes Timothy’s hand. He has been frozen like a statue this whole time. “Come on, Timothy, let’s go,” she gently tells him, and he comes along robotically. As Natalie passes the librarian and the staffer, she stops and apologizes, and thanks them as well.

I have Jonathan sit in front, figuring he and Gabe should be separated from each other. Nobody complains about the seating. All the kids just get in the car without comment. I can tell they are all still reeling emotionally about whatever just happened. The car ride home is tense and completely silent. I don’t want to start interrogating them while I’m driving, for fear of starting anything up again.

When I pull into the driveway, Ron is in the front yard mowing. He comes over with a smile on his face, but as he sees the car full of grim expressions he stops and raises his eyebrows. I get out first, and whisper to him, “Gabe and Jonathan got into a fight. I think it would be best for Jonathan to just go on home. Can you take him?”

“Um, yeah,” he says, clearly as shocked as I am about the boys fighting.

The kids have climbed out. Natalie tells Jonathan, “It’ll be okay, Jonathan. I think you should just go home and rest.”

He nods, clearly very unhappy, and follows along behind Ron, staring at the ground.

The kids are behaving differently than ever before. I have to find out what happened.

Gabe

I can’t believe any of this is happening. What the hell is wrong with Jonathan?

Mom tells us to come inside, and sits all three of us down at the kitchen table. “Okay,” she says, “who wants to tell me what happened?”

Natalie and Timothy look at each other but stay quiet. Mom looks at me.

Okay, fine, I’ll tell her. “Jonathan took away the book Timothy was reading. When Natalie tried to get him to give it back, he punched her.” I feel my throat closing up, I’m so mad about it. I can’t talk any more.

I am never going to get that image out of my head, my supposed best friend hauling off and smacking my tiny little sister right in the face. It was the most awful thing I’ve ever seen. And when he did it, he had this terrible expression on his face, like punching her was the most exciting thing he’d ever done. When she fell over backwards and crashed into the bookcase, he started going after her like he wanted to hit her again. That’s when I jumped on him.

Brenda

What? I look at Natalie, and realize for the first time that a light bruise is developing along her jaw. “Oh my God,” I say, “are you okay, Natalie?”

“Yes,” she says, rubbing her face. “I’m fine.” She seems very subdued, almost in shock.

Well at least there’s something I can do about this part. I get up and go to the freezer to prepare an ice pack. “Here,” I tell her, “hold this up to your face, right here.”

She sighs, but does what I tell her. Timothy is staring at her with wide eyes.

I look back over to Gabe. “Why were you and Jonathan fighting?” I ask him.

“He punched my sister, Mom,” he says in an incredulous tone, like he can’t believe I even had to ask. His face crumples, and I can see that the realization of the situation is starting to sink in. “I guess I lost it. I pushed him to get him away from her, then he started hitting me too.”

I look at him more carefully. I can’t see any bruises or anything. “Are you hurt?’

“No,” he says in a low voice.

I look back over at Natalie. “Is that what happened?” I ask her.

“Yes,” she says, her face the picture of worry and regret. Timothy nods as well.

I sigh. I can’t imagine what got into Jonathan. I’ve never seen him misbehave that badly before. I guess there have been times that Timothy and Natalie have complained that Jonathan was teasing them, but it never seemed at all serious.

Ron comes back in the front door, and joins us at the table. He sees Natalie with an ice pack on her face, and is alarmed. “So what happened?” he asks. “Jonathan didn’t say a word, I had to just tell his Dad that apparently he and Gabe had a fight, but I wasn’t there so I don’t know anything else about it. I told him I’d call after I find out what’s going on.”

I sigh and shake my head. “Well, the kids say that Jonathan punched Natalie after she tried to make him give a book back to Timothy.” The kids are all sitting silently, listening to my recitation of the event. They don’t protest that I’m getting anything wrong. “So Gabe pushed Jonathan away from her, and that started a fight. They knocked over a shelf, books were everywhere, they were punching each other. The librarians and I had to break it up. It was awful.”

Ron’s eyes are practically bugging out of his head. “Are you all right, Natalie?” he asks. “Can I see?”

She puts the ice pack down. “I think I’m finished with that, Mom.”

Ron looks at her face and sees the light bruise. He strokes her hair lightly, and gives her a kiss on top of her head. I can see the shock in his eyes being replaced with anger. Somebody hurt his little girl. He looks over at Gabe, and they lock eyes, and something unspoken passes between them. I think they are sharing the anger at the idea of Natalie being harmed, and Ron is giving Gabe silent approval for trying to protect his sister. Each gives the other a subtle nod. It’s strangely manly, this soundless exchange. Gabe suddenly seems very grown up to me.

We all sit quietly for another minute. Then Natalie asks, “Can Timothy and I go upstairs now?”

It occurs to me that nobody has checked to see how Timothy is doing. Nobody except Natalie, that is. He hasn’t said a single word. “Timothy, how are you feeling?” I ask him. “Are you all right? Do you feel like you want to go home?”

“No,” he says. “I want to stay here with Natalie.”

Of course he does. “Okay, you kids all go on upstairs.” It’s late morning, and I know after the shock wears off everyone is going to be getting hungry. “I’ll let you know when lunch is ready.”

The three of them trudge up the stairs. After all the yelling in the library, their silence is a profound contrast.

Ron and I stare at each other, sitting together at the table.

“I guess I should call Brad,” he says.

“No,” I say, “I’ll do it. I’m the one who was there.”