Seeking Within: Now

The Pathetic Hermetic

took an anesthetic

to numb his poor feelings for fun.

But while he was impaired,

the universe declared

his pathetic life

was now, indeed done:

I went to awaken

visibly shaken,

Now just a fly on a window.

Trapped inside

with nowhere to hide,

I wanna leave but I just can’t go.

Suddenly swatted by a hand

I quickly make my demands,

but instead become a seed in a silo.

Falling free one day,

I hope and I pray;

wanting to bloom, but I just can’t grow.

Now lost on the cold cement below.

As I lie there on the land,

wanting to expand,

but instead experience solitude firsthand.

The next thing I know

I’m a star in the cosmo

I wanna shine, but I just can’t glow.

Then all at once I implode

I’m just a spec in a black hole,

drifting on but I just can’t go.

Now trapped with this never-ending psycho.

Like a bad song on the radio,

I wanna rhyme, but I just can’t flow.

Then awake to find

my body and my mind

trapped inside my ego.

I’m just a thought inside my head.

I’d be better off dead,

keep asking why, but I just don’t know.

Now just a thought that won’t seem to go.

In the darkness it reminds,

that I’m not the mastermind

of all my dreams that are blind,

to all the things that bind,

to a universe combined,

with love and life entwined,

in a dance of Gods design.

I finally come back to see,

I’m just a distant memory,

in the emptiness of space and time,

I shift my paradigm,

hoping for another chance sometime.

Having nothing of my own.

Having reaped what I’ve sewn.

Having come to atone.

Achieving a new milestone.

I wanna live but I just can’t though...

Now just a name on a forgotten headstone.