Seduced by My Childhood Sweetheart’s Brother

Early December sounded very far away, but it was just next week. For some reason, I had an ominous feeling regarding Colin's new project. Something inside me hoped that he would turn it down because I felt like I was about to lose something.

I could only tell myself this bad feeling came from my reluctance to be ignored by Colin when he was busy with work. Surely, it had nothing to do with my sixth sense. Nevertheless, I felt on edge.

I found my self-contradiction rather amusing at times. Colin always came home late. I had tried many times to stay up to talk to him and to go to bed with him together. But it never worked. I would doze off before he reached home.

And for once, Colin came home early. We kissed and cuddled, yet sleep eluded me as I lay on the bed. To make sure neither of us got carried away by our urges, I silently distanced myself from him. There was now a one-foot gap between us.

I knew how frustrated Colin was. He hugged the love of his life to sleep every night, yet the physical interaction stopped there. It had to be torturous to him. There were times when Colin was about to lose control but the tears in my eyes calmed him down. Then, he'd go to take a cold shower.

I was in love with Colin, hopelessly in love with him. I mustered all my courage many times to offer my first time to him. I would be his anyway. Doing it early might help alleviate some of his frustrations.

Yet I'd get cold feet at the last minute. I was still unable to defy my parents' teaching that a girl shouldn't have premarital sex. I had also read enough romance novels to know that most couples who did it before marriage would never end up together. Their first time became a blemish in their lives. What a shame.

Helen told me that sometimes, I was too traditional, almost like a religious nun. I was the type to bind myself with different rules. But what could I do about it? I was born this way.

Luckily, Colin was understanding. He'd rather endure the frustration than force me. While he looked very calm today, I knew him very well, so I knew that he was merely holding himself back. He was waiting until I fell asleep. Then, he would go take a cold shower or deal with it himself.

Whenever that happened, I felt so bad about myself.

"Colin." I tried to break the silence. "You'll be busy next week. Are we still going to move out?"

In other words, I implied that he would be busy working, and I might get bored if I lived in a big house alone. If we stayed here, I had Queenie to keep me company.

Colin held my hands and fiddled with my fingers. My words made him raise his brows, and he kissed my fingertips. "I'll still go home to sleep even if I work a lot."

In other words, he wanted to move out.

"When are we moving out?"

"In the next few days."

I was happy that I could move into our own house. He chose the day after tomorrow as our moving-out date It fell on a weekend, so we could hold a housewarming party.

When Queenie heard that I was moving out, she cried many times, both in front of me and behind my

back. She didn't ask me to stay

Instead, she told me to visit her often. Then, she continued to cry, so much so that Andrew had to skirt around her to console her

Not wanting to be drowned by her tears, I promised her that I would video-call her every day and that I would visit her when I was free. She cheered up for a while, but tears returned the morning we were

supposed to move out. She hugged me and cried as if the sky had fallen.