Secret World

He let go of me to get a shower. Before he came back, I slept. I was tired. My mind was a mess. I had terrible nightmares about the rape, he always held me and calmed me down backt o sleep. 

I was in no shape to get out of the bed. He had to help me even to use the toilet. It all came back in one big tsunami. I barely ate, I cried a lot, I was willing to rather die than this. Doctor came to check on me every day. Mister Barlowe never left the room for long. It was like he could read my mind or something, because when I needed to go wash myself or pee or piss, he was ready to escort me. It took a week or so to heal the outside wounds. I refused to speak. Every little noise caused me a panic attack. I was in deep depression with no way to escape my head. 

One day Mister Barlowe came with the wheelchair and took me outside. He walked all around his property. It was a beautiful day. I started to cry. "Kill me, please, kill me! I can't go on like this!" He stopped and kneeled in front of me.

"No killing. I will help you get over this, if you like it or not. You need to talk to someone, talk to me. I won't judge. You are safe with me." He used his thumb to clear my tears from my face. 

I spent one more week in this suiside mode. Everytime I even thought about it, the thing I wanted to use disappeared. I started to be desperate. One day after dinner, mister Barlowe had to go to take a call. I climbed over the balcony railings, ready to jump. The moment I let go, he grabbed me from behind.

"What the fuck are you doing?! What part about not escaping me didn't you understand?" I leaned on his troso and cried. He just held me and kept me warm. He carried me inside and placed me in the middle of the bed. "Stay!" He closed the balcony door and pulled the curtains together. "Spit it out!" 

I was so ashamed. I had a hard time speaking. My voice sounded raspy. I told him about my fears, feelings and how I feel ugly and dirty. I hated myself for letting the man rape me. I blamed myself for being there for so long. I had it coming. He just listened, as he promised. When I finished, there were no more tears to cry. I felt a little lighter. I kept it in me for too long. 

"So basically… The pig has no blame?" I shook my head. "Great! Let's get him loose again…" I looked at him confused. "Yeah, I have him. My best men did their handiwork. His dick and balls are gone. He had a complete change of gender. He is a woman now. Not willingly, but it should teach him a lesson. He would never hurt a woman like he did you, but he was hurted like you already. The prisoners in the local penal facility were too long without a woman."

"Oh God! I am going to puke!" I almost didn't make it to the bathroom. When I was done, I had a strange feeling. I felt good. I felt like justice was served. It was bad. No human should be treated like that. And yet I couldn't help myself. I came back to him. He was waiting for me on the couch. "I am a terrible person. But… Thank you?" His eyes opened wide. I could see his left corner going up in a half smile. "What now?"

"Now? I think it's time for you to live again. I prepared your family funeral, the bodies were unrecognizable. They identified them from DNA. Yesterday the police called, you can bury them. The funeral is the day after tomorrow. Would you be able to handle that?" I nodded. Honestly I just hoped I could. "Good. The clothing for you will be here tomorrow. With a new phone and laptop. Your documents and ID will be ready next week."

"How did you handle all this in such a short time? With all the watching over me?" I was shocked and grateful. He shrugged his shoulders and mumbled something about the connections. It looked like there was more than he admitted. Maybe one day I will find out. 

He took me downstairs to have dinner. I ate a little more without him feeding me. He looked satisfied with what he saw. My stomach yelled at me for too much food. I guess, it was time to start to get over the bad shit. To put my shit together. 

Next morning I woke with my head on his chest, my legs mixed up in his and he held me close. I had to shift myself in the night. I had no nightmares, or I had no memories of them. I dared to look up at him. When I saw his brown eyes focused on me, I automatically neared my gaze. He gently raised my chin with his fingers. His other hand pushed me higher. I ended up facing him. I felt his erection pressing on my leg. 

"Morning, kitty!" He kissed my cheek.

"Morning," I froze. "Wait! Kitty? We are not on a first name basis!"

"If you think so… Kitty!" He said teasingly. 

If I say, it was making me hot, I would underestimate the situation. He was hot, very hard to resist and too close. He just stared at me. I could feel my body enjoying this. I felt the wetness between my legs. I was melting. At the same time I was scared. 

"You are so beautiful…" He whispered. I blushed a little. I was not used to compliments. "Go, before I take you…" He let me lose. I was very fast in the bathroom, slamming the door shut. What the hell just happened?