SWNOVELS Chapter 26 - Avery
The pain was still very raw, but I forced myself to get a shower.
I wiped the fog from the mirror and studied my reflection. My eyes were red and puffy. I had little red spots around them, crying so hard had broken tiny blood vessels.
Carolyn had called a dozen more times, leaving a voicemail each time. I hadnt listened to them. I couldnt then. But my mailbox was now full so I had to cave and just trudge through the pain.
The first one was the day Sebastian woke up.
"Avery. I'm so sorry. Call me ok?"
Three more the day after.
"Just calling to see how you are. Let me know."
"Avery, I'm worried about you. Please call me."
"Hey sweetie, you know I'm here if you need to talk."
Two from yesterday.
"Avery, you cant ignore me forever. I swear to you, I will call you every day until you talk to me."
"Dinner tonight at 6pm, please join us. We miss you, Avery!"
I felt the need to cry again. I missed them too. I had felt like I belonged when I was with them. I was loved and appreciated. Treasured. I took a deep breath to get my emotions under control and continued on. I only had five more messages to go.
All five were from a number I didnt recognize. Two from last night, three from today.
"Hi Avery," my heart skipped, I knew that voice. His voice. "Its Sebastian. Um, I know this is kinda awkward but I was wondering if we could talk? Call me."
"Avery... call me. Please."
"Hey its Sebastian again. I dont want to blow you up. But I will. You're gonna have to talk to me if you want it to stop..." Great. Like mother, like son.
"Me again. I'm still waiting."
"Avery, I'm sorry for whatever I did. Please talk to me."
I could detect the sadness in his voice. Did he remember me? Or did Carolyn just tell him about that pathetic little blonde girl that had been dreaming about him every night? Maybe he felt sorry for me. Did he call to make amends? Clear his conscious?
My thoughts were interrupted as the phone rang again. It was Sebastian.
I stared at the number. Did I really want to answer it? Did I really want to go through the heartbreak all over again?
Milo ran to the door, meowing and pawing at it.
The phone was still ringing.
A knock came from the other side of the door.
Milo meowing.
Clawing the shit out of my door.
Oh my God. I cannot take this right now. I answered the phone as I got up off the couch and headed to the door.
"Hello?"
"Avery..."
I opened the apartment door.
"Yeah?" I said both to Sebastian and the person at the door. Might as well kill two birds with one stone.
But it wasnt two birds. It was only one.
Sebastian was standing infront of me, outside the opened door. He pulled the phone away from his ear, eyes focused hard on me.
"Avery." He said again.
I opened my mouth to speak but before I could, he pulled me into him, hugging me tight.
I didnt know what to do. This was a complete 180 from the last time I saw him.
His face was bent down, nuzzled into my neck. I felt the tension in his body relax.
"Avery, I'm so sorry," he murmured into my hair, "I'm sorry I cant remember. I'm trying. I really am."
His arms were strong and warm, just as they had been in my dreams. His breath on my skin sent chills down my spine.
He released me from his embrace, hands remaining on my arms. He searched my eyes for acceptance of his apology. But I couldnt.
I couldnt hold back. I started to cry. I walked back into the apartment, closing the door behind me. Only he wouldnt let me. He pushed through and into my living room.
"Please." Was all he said.
I didnt want to look at him. I didnt want him to see how he had broken me. I just wanted him to leave.
"I remember the field," he said from behind me, " the one with the yellow and purple flowers.
I stopped, my back to him.
"The corridor of brick. Something was chasing you."
I turned to look at him.
"The beach. My bed. The Middle. I remember that."
He slowly walked toward me.
"The subway. Your paintings."
He was looking into my eyes, pleading with me. My heart was pounding.
"Avery, help me remember the rest. Please..." he put his hand to my face, his eyes begging me, "help me."
All my walls, all my defenses, instantly dropped. Brought down by this poor, sad boy I'm front of me. He was hurting. He was confused. He was searching for something he didnt know he needed. He was me when we first met.
He had been my savior. My courage. My rock. My light at the end of the tunnel. And now, he needed the same help from me. He needed me to step up. To be strong and brave.
He just needed me.
I placed my hand on the back of his neck and pulled his lips to mine.
And the world stopped.