Scoring Chance (Carolina Comets)

Miller: Did you know it’s a really bad idea to eat four hot dogs, a hamburger, and a milkshake before skating?

Miller: I didn’t do that. Some rookie on the other team did and barfed all over the ice. Totally disgusting.

Scout: Who is this?

Miller: What do you mean?

Miller: It’s Miller.

Scout: Who?

Miller: M-I-L-L-E-R

Miller: As in…IT’S MILLER TIME, BABY!

Scout: You know, I was going to keep this going longer, but you just ruined everything with that horrible pun, and I’m considering blocking you.

Miller: Nah. You wouldn’t.

Scout: And why not?

Miller: Because I’m a really good kisser?

Scout: Are you asking me that or telling me?

Miller: Telling.

Miller: Or maybe asking.

Miller: You know, I’m really not sure, mostly because now I’m curious what you thought of our kiss.

Miller: So…what’d you think of our kiss?

Scout: There really is no beating around the bush with you, is there?

Miller: About 98% of the time, no.

Scout: And the other 2%?

Miller: I’m not ready for the other 2% just yet.

Scout: That’s fair.

Scout: Did someone get sick during the game?

Miller: Warmups.

Miller: I kind of felt bad for the guy. I’ve been the young, dumb rookie before. It’s rough sometimes.

Scout: You say that like you’re not still young and dumb.

Miller: Hey, I’m 24, thank you very much.

Miller: Still dumb, though.

Scout: You’re 24?!

Miller: Yup.

Miller: Wait—how old are you?

Miller: Actually, no. Never mind. I know you’re not supposed to ask women that.

Scout: Such a stupid rule.

Scout: I’m 28.

Miller: Oh, I’ve snagged an older lady. Nice.

Scout: Snagged?

Scout: OLDER LADY?

Scout: Keep it up. At this rate, you’re going to be the one in the grave first, not me.

Miller: I’m assuming you’re going to be the death of me?

Scout: Yes.

Scout: Here lies Grady Miller. He died because he talked too much shit.

Miller: That honestly checks out, though.

Scout: Have you always been this way?

Miller: Yes. My parents didn’t love me enough as a child.

Miller: Sadly, that last part isn’t a lie. They really didn’t.

Miller: Womp, womp.

Scout: Okay, that’s just depressing.

Miller: Sorry.

Scout: I’M sorry.

Miller: Eh, don’t be. It is what it is.

Scout: That’s a very sad way of looking at it.

Miller: It’s practical.

Scout: Since when are you ever practical?

Miller: That’s fair.

Miller: I gotta go, but I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.

Scout: Miller, you literally texted me about someone vomiting, so I’m not sure that’s the compliment you think it is.

Miller: If it makes you feel any better, I was thinking about you before the vomit.

Scout: Gee, thanks.

Scout: For what it’s worth, I was thinking about you too…and our kiss.

Scout: A-

Miller: I’ve always been told I’m an overachiever, so now I guess I have something to work toward.

Scout: ??

Miller: An A+

Scout: I’m stingy with pluses.

Miller: I bet I’m worth making an exception for.

Scout: We’ll see about that.

Miller: What about Thursday?

Scout: It’s a very disappointing day of the week, mostly because it’s not Friday.

Scout: Though to be fair, I don’t really get weekends off, so Fridays kind of suck too.

Scout: I’m sure you know all about that, though.

Miller: I do, but I meant what about Thursday for our date?

Miller: Unless you’d like to choose a less disappointing day of the week.

Scout: Honestly, they all suck in some way. Except for Saturday. Saturdays are wine-in-the-tub nights.

Scout: But Thursday is fine.

Miller: Wine in the tub?

Scout: Yep. I light candles, crank the Taylor Swift, drink the fanciest of wines, and relax.

Miller: That sounds…nice.

Scout: Even the Taylor Swift?

Miller: Are you kidding me? Especially the Taylor Swift.

Scout: Oh, so you’re a fan?

Miller: All I’m saying is there is no way in hell Jake doesn’t still have that scarf.

Scout: Right? He totally kept it!

Scout: Good luck at your game tonight.

Miller: Are you watching?

Scout: If being in the same living room as Macie as she screams at the TV for you to shoot counts as watching, then yes.

Miller: It’s preseason! I’m saving all my good shots for when it counts.

Scout: Try telling Coach Macie that.

Miller: She’s going to be one tough cookie.

Scout: Going to be? She already is.

Scout: How about some motivation? If you win, I’ll let you buy dinner, and if you lose, I’ll let you buy dinner.

Miller: So, I’m buying dinner either way?

Scout: Of course you are. It’s a date.

Miller: That’s not very feminist of you.

Scout: No, it’s not. But I’m also not a super-rich hockey player.

Miller: I wouldn’t say super rich. That’d be Lowell.

Scout: You make more a year than I’ll ever make in a lifetime.

Miller: Did you Google me?

Scout: Of course I did. I like to know whom I’m dating.

Miller: That’s fair.

Miller: I’m going to Google you later, just so we’re even.

Scout: That sounds mildly sexual.

Miller: It does, doesn’t it?

Scout: Totally.

Miller: I gotta go. Coach Smith is yelling at me.

Miller: See you Thursday.

Miller: And, Scout? I’m really looking forward to working on my grade.