Scheming Against Devotion (Book 2 of The Transition of Pinn)

Ivy:

My hand shakes as I set the teacup on the library coffee table. I lean back into the leather couch which is cool on my back, trying to appear calm. I’m a bundle of nerves, slowly increasing throughout the day.

Now it is the evening and I can barely hold still.

I can’t believe how badly this morning went- I just can’t believe it. I was sure that… that Giddean would be happy I wasn’t mad at him any longer. I can’t believe how much I have messed this up.

He is going to send me away to who knows where. I know, I know I wanted to get away but… I didn’t realize the risks. Everyone tried to tell me, but… ugh. I’m just an idiot.

I didn’t realize things here would start to grow on me. I was enjoying my walks with Sean to the market and visits with Elena. I was enjoying my late night chats with Giddean…

I flipped out when I saw that woman sacrificed. I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s so messed up, so wrong. But, I should have been smarter…

You have to play it safe when you are thrown into an alien society and I have been letting my emotions lead me.

Now we are going to talk whenever Giddean gets back from his dinner. James let me know earlier. I’m a chore, an appointment in his schedule, another thing for Giddean to deal with in his busy day. It’s really disheartening and very concerning.

But I have one trump card- one thing that Giddean wants.

I hear the telltale sound of the doorknob turning and I almost jump from the cool leather couch.

I can do this. I can do this.

Giddean enters looking dashing as ever in his fancy suit with all the bells and whistles of status draped on him. He is worn out. I can see it in the dark circles under his eyes and the slouch in his shoulders as he drags himself over one of the chairs adjacent to my couch. He leans forward on the chair, resting his elbows on his knees.

I am terrified. He is all business and he is definitely sending me away…

“Ivy, I-“

“Giddean, could I say something first?” I interrupt. I have to convince him to keep me.

He pauses for a moment and then nods.

I bunch my hands in my skirts, “I’m really sorry for the way I reacted- I was just shocked. I’m so so sorry if I upset you.”

Giddean doesn’t reply but simply rubs his hand over his face. The atmosphere is so tense I can almost taste the sour note of apprehension. Its oppressive and heavy, a feeling of extreme worry pressing down on me.

I’m too late.

I have only one card left, and I have to play it. I swallow.

“Giddean, I have been thinking… I think it’s time we try for a…um… baby”

He looks at me, eyes wide in shock. I am not surprised that this is unexpected to him. I can only hope it is enough to ensure that he keeps me here.

He watches me for a few moments and all I can hear is the crackling of the fire in the large fireplace and the buzzing of some bug that got into the room. I debate taking another sip of my tea just to distract me from my anxiety.

Giddean begins, “You understand that… that means….?”

“Of course!” I say quickly and then blush “…unless is it different on Pinn?” I wave of fear passes over me. Oh God, I bet it works differently on Pinn, everything does. I didn’t even consider-

Giddean gives a snort of nervous laughter, “No, no I don’t think it is different on earth. I just didn’t think you would be ready for that sort of ….… intimacy”

Am I ready? I’m nervous, but Giddean has been nice to me and I need to make this work.

“I am” I whisper.

He visibly gulps before looking at me with a heating stare. The light from the torches dance across his face making his dark eyes twinkle.

“How did you want to …proceed?”

I hesitate for a moment. I don’t want to lead this- I don’t want to decide. But Giddean is just watching me, waiting for an answer.

I slowly stand, trying not to shake. I am so nervous. I try to wipe my hands on my dress discreetly. And I advance towards him, trying hard not to bite my lower lip.

He leans back in the chair as I approach, looking up at me, watching what I am doing. He doesn’t reach out to me or do anything to encourage my actions. I don’t want a repeat of this morning; I don’t want him to reject my advances.

I press one of my legs between his right thigh and the chair rest. I then swing my other leg over him to also press between his left thigh and the chair and slowly lower myself down. My normally flowy dress rises up slightly and tightens around my legs, restricting my movements.

I blush again and I can’t help it. I’m straddling him. It’s so forward and so unnatural for me.

If he pushes me away now I am might die of embarrassment.

But he is still just watching me. I feel the heat of his thighs through the layers of fabric and his body heat radiating from his chest not so far away.

It makes me feel panic. Why is he not touching me? Does he not want me?

I look into those dark mysterious eyes of his as they trail down my face and rest on my lips. Maybe he does want me. But I am paralyzed in fear; I have gone as far as I can will myself to go without any further encouragement.

If he doesn’t make a move soon I going to get up and run to my room. I can’t take the tension anymore.

I lift my butt off of his legs at the same time that he leans forward. He is even closer now. His face mere millimeters from my own.

So close. So so close.