Saving Harper

-Flashback to six days ago.-

I think I'm going crazy with Xavier's detailed and strict list.

"Babe, di tayo matatapos if you keep changing your mind." Xavier massaged his temples with one hand while holding my iPad that has our Christmas gifts list. Alam kong nababaliw na din sya saakin. We were sitting side by side sa kama and we're running through the list that we were finally able to finish yesterday. We're going to join the holiday rush tomorrow by going sa mall as soon as it opens and we'll buy everything already kaya Xavier made a list para di daw kami paikot- ikot. Medyo cramming na nga talaga kami so the list made sense.

Nananahimik na yung listahan namin na pinaghirapan nya because they were all categorized and he even placed the specific stores where we can buy the gifts, until I scanned through it, questioning our choices. I kept changing some and it was Xavier's trigger point for tonight.

"I want to give tatay the perfect gift!" This gift-giving business is so stressful. "Love, he's going to be happy sa kahit anong ibibigay natin. You know tatay. Lahat naman sila magiging masaya sa mga regalo natin."

I pursed my lips, medyo nahihiya ako sa reason ko why this is all stressing me out. "I just want this to be a perfect first Christmas for us." I said that one in a quiet voice. "Of course it will be perfect." He pulled me in his arms.

"First time ko kasi to spend it like this. The last time I actually enjoyed Christmas was..." I paused to think about it. It was that long time ago. "When we were still kids. And it was mostly because of the gifts, but I really want to appreciate this, because your family is so excited for the holidays. And this is a big deal for you."

Xavier surveyed me with an amused smile but his eyes were soft na parang kinikilig. I guess I still have my powers. I just hope it was as strong as his with the way he makes me feel. "I can't believe days ago hate na hate mo ko, tapos ngayon balik ka na sa pag pakilig saakin." He leaned closer and started trailing kisses from my cheek to the side of my neck.

"And I'll go back to hating you if you don't focus." He groaned and begrudgingly went back sa iPad waiting for me to change another gift from the list. He's trying very hard to be patient. "Ikaw ba love anong gusto mong gift sa Christmas?" Okay, it wasn't subtle but I really want to know because I have no idea what to get him.

"Ikaw." He answered agad-agad. Very Xavier.

"Na wala pa sayo ngayon. You already have me."

Nag isip sya for a few seconds. "If physical things, wala."

"Ah, so ayaw mo na ng physical ngayon? Noted." I said in jest. Xavier poked his finger on the side of my ribs playfully and natawa ako then he went back to kissing the back of my ear pulling me closer again. "Xavier stop. Pag ginising mo yung baby natin, ako yung hindi makakatulog sa kakasipa nya. Lumilikot na yung anak mo."

"Sige later. Promise, di tayo magiging wild para di sya magising. Practice na din yon for the future." He winked at me and umayos na sya ulit. We used to talk about our future a whole lot, especially nung paalis na sya noon, but now it just feels different. Parang talagang abot-kamay na namin yon. It's like running a marathon and you start to see the finish line ahead. I'm just happy that finally we're crossing it together.

"Okay, going back. Anong gusto mong regalo?" I fixed myself.

"Madaya ka din e." He chuckled. Nasanay din kasi ako that Jem, Liv, Franco and I would just simply tell each other what we want para sure kaming lahat that the gift would be used. Sure it takes away the surprise, pero ang hirap kapag ikaw na yung mag iisip what they need. "O sige, ano bang gusto mong ibigay sakin? So I can make sure it's what I want."

"Sa tingin mo kung may idea ako sa ibibigay ko sayo, magtatanong pa ko?" I rolled my eyes at him and natawa sya. "Okay baby, relax. Wala akong regalo talaga na gusto, but what I want most in this life is to marry you." "Again, you're already getting that." I pointed out and yun din yung gusto ko.

We'll be married in 2-3 (?) years when he permanently comes back here. Which now sounds so long if I think about it relative to wanting to be married to Xavier. He does have a point. At kung makakapili ako, I would really want us to be married already.

"Harper. Baby!" Xavier snapped his fingers in front of me to pull me out of my reverie.

"Sorry, may sinabi ka ba?" I shook my head para mas gisingin pa yung sarili ko but the idea was already planted in my consciousness. Maybe I don't want to wait for two years. So here I am, wanting desperately to wait for him before pero ngayon I suddenly don't want to. Well not exactly, I just want more.

"Sabi ko maybe we could get married sooner. A few months after mo manganak? Sakto yun because I'll be here longer since you already agreed na I can file a leave of absence from school ng isang term..."

"We should get married." I nodded slowly and Xavier looked at me curiously kasi mukha nanaman siguro akong nag sespace-out.

"Yes baby, that's what you keep telling me kanina pa. I mean kaya nga tayo engaged diba?" He chuckled probably thinking I'm still battling with faraway thoughts.

"No. As in we should get married soon." I looked at him gauging if he caught on what I meant with what I said.

"So agree ka sa sinabi ko that we should do it after you give birth?" He smiled widely. Mas magugulat sya sa sasabihin ko. But I really need to throw it out there. If he thinks it's a bad idea, we can get married after our son's birth as he is suggesting now.

"Sooner."

I watched as Xavier slowly eyed me measuring what exactly am I saying. "How soon?" He asked.

"Okay wait, hear me out first." Tumayo ako to pace kasi sumasakit na yung likod ko sa pag upo and it will give me something to do while I really think this through. "I think we should get married the soonest that we can." Tinaasan ako ng kilay ni Xavier but waited for the rest that I want to say. Pero tama na sa pag iisip! Just get it out Harper!

"We could do a civil wedding. Xavier, I think it doesn't make sense to wait. I mean look at us, we're almost married anyway. We're having a child. Sabi mo it's the only thing you want... and it's the only thing I want right now too." I stopped pacing and faced him. "What I'm really saying is, I want to be Mrs. Harper Arnaiz already."

Nagulat ako kasi all of a sudden Xavier jumped from the bed papunta sakin and took me in his arms to hug me tightly. "Love, you have no idea kung paano mo ko napapasaya ngayon." I think I do since I'm sharing the same euphoria as him. "We'll need at least two witnesses, Mrs. Arnaiz. Pero free daw si Judge in 3 days." Xavier happily told me as he ended the call. We were walking around the mall for Christmas shopping the following day while we also listed down what we needed to get hitched. We used practically all the possible social connections we can think of to push our wedding the soonest possible time.

Xavier was in his element kasi puro listahan nanaman. Buti nalang we just needed a few certificates and documents for a civil ceremony. The birth certificates, cenomar, ctc, etc. were easy but we needed a certificate of attendance sa pre- marriage counseling and the rushed marriage license will also be a challenge. Buti nalang Xavier checked with his recently-married friend and ex-coworker Brian kung saan nakakakuha ng mabilis na pre-marriage counseling and a lawyer friend of mine agreed to pull some strings for me para makuha namin agad yung marriage license. And now, the distant family-friend judge Xavier called thankfully agreed. Everything seems to be going our way na parang pinapasingit kami sa pila because this has already been delayed long enough. Well that was the feeling.

"Tinanong nya ko if my parents already know. At kung nabuntis lang daw kita." Natawa si Xavier as I frowned while scanning the Nespresso machines. Makes sense because this is technically a shotgun wedding. "Which of these is more Nick and Hilda? Sana sinabi mo oo kasi totoo naman." Xavier pointed to a machine and I called over the attendant so we can check out already, madami pang natitira sa listahan namin. I think we're pretty good with this multi-tasking under pressure.

"Mrs. Arnaiz we need 2 witnesses." He repeated. Xavier started calling me Mrs. Arnaiz pagka gising pa lang kanina and it really sat with me pretty well. Mrs. Arnaiz. I couldn't believe that in a few days, I will be.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell your family about this?" I turned to him. Alam ko struggle for Xavier to kasi his family will kill him pag nalaman nilang we pushed through with this ng wala sila. While yung pamilya ko sanay naman na secretive ako. They already know Xavier and I are getting married so I don't think they'll blow their tops over this.

"If I tell them baka mahabang usapan pa and would only push the date later. Baka mapilit ka pa nila to do it the traditional way. Wait, one last time love, is this what you really want?" Xavier has asked that to me thrice already for today. My answer never changed.

I hugged him around his waist. "Yes. More than anything. Well gusto ko din naman yung traditional way, but that can wait. We can do it after I give birth. But what would your family say?" I looked up to him.

"Probably maiinis, but they'll live. I just want you to be officially and legally mine." He kissed me. I have only ever been his.

Two witnesses. Xavier and I agreed that he'll choose one while I choose the other. We had easy choices and it we didn't even take 5 minutes to tell each other our decisions. Yun lang pag nalaman din to ng pamilya namin baka magalit din sila. Pero like how Xavier and I have been nung nagsisimula pa lang kami, bahala na what everyone will think. This isn't exactly a bad thing since they all want this for us. Yun nalang yung iniisip ko and if they get mad, it will pass after a few days. I chose my mom because I want to keep my promise to her na makikita nya akong ikasal. Xavier chose tatay because he's the closest to him and it will make him happy because ganito din sila kinasal ni nanay. We just needed to tell them and convince them to go along and that this is what we wanted.

It's just like every classic tale, no one can resist a happy ever after ending.

-Present time-

"So yon, after 3 days, we got married." Xavier finished.

Our families were suddenly in an uproar. Most of them galit or gulat or both, and had so many questions that they were all talking at once.

"So you just went on and did it?"

"You've been married for days?!"

"Why are we not invited?"

"Ohmygod congrats!"

"Tatay! You knew??? Again!"

"Ma why didn't you tell us!!"

"We were supposed to be there!"

"Your son is so full of surprises. Kanino ba nagmana yan?"

"Don't look at me, ayan si tatay oh."

Hinayaan lang namin sila. Xavier's arm was still around me and he pulled me closer. "I can tell we're going to be really responsible parents." He whispered to me and I smiled.

"If we're going to have a daughter, hindi mo sya mapapagalitan if she comes home and introduces a fake boyfriend then marries him in secret. Kailangan maging understanding kang tatay." I grinned when Xavier's face twitched kahit I'm sure matagal pa yon. ;"We'll change the story. Sasabihin natin sa kanya 40 years old na tayo nung kinasal tayo. And ang boyfriend pwede lang pag 30 na sya."

"Chill Arnaiz. Buti nalang we're having a son." I chuckled. Tama nga si dad, aatakihin tong si Xavier pag nagkaron kami ng babaeng anak.

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"Bakit kayo natatawang dalawa???" Tiff looked annoyed saamin ni Xavier and everyone's attention was turned to us again. Kala ko we could just dissolve into our own little world while everyone bickered away. Oo nga pala, kami yung pinagtatalunan dito.

We smiled at them because obviously wala kaming pinagsisisihan. "We're just really really really happy. I married the love of my life and I'm carrying our son na in two months makikilala nyo na din." I couldn't stop smiling as I said it and I didn't care if mukha akong tanga. Maybe because the secret is finally out and I can go back to being blissfully happy with the just-got-married glow.

"Basically same reasons as my wife." Syempre Xavier looked smug as he emphasized the words my wife. "Ihahabol ko lang din na I'm happy because finally, Mrs. Arnaiz na yung katabi ko. Kung hindi pa masyadong halata." ;Hindi lang ako yung crazy-happy ngayon kahit alam na ng lahat. We were prepared for this kaya chill lang kami ni Xavier.

"See? Paano mo tatanggihan yang dalawa when they asked me to be their witness?" Tatay shrugged and pointed at us.

"Haaay tatay kunsintidor ka talaga sa favorite apo mo." Xavier's dad chuckled.

"Pinili nila ako because of your nanay. We got married the same way diba? And they just want me to relive that memory." Tatay explained.

"Hindi din ako nakatanggi sa sobrang saya. I'm sorry dad. Ilang araw ko ng gustong sabihin sayo but they made me promise." My mom added.

"Aminin nalang nating lahat that they can basically get away with anything right now. And sa totoo lang, I'm just swelling with happiness for the both of them, so can we already congratulate them? We can't do anything about the fact that they're already married anyway." Hilda didn't wait for any response and she skipped towards us to hug me and Xavier at the same time. "Congratulations! Welcome to the family kuya! Ahhh naiiyak nako! Where's the ring???" Xavier helped me remove the necklace he gave me where my wedding ring hung. He placed it on my ring finger where my engagement ring was and nilipat nya yung singsing nya sa ring finger from his middle finger. "Teka are those nanay and tatay's wedding rings?" Ate Tiff asked us.

Tatay smiled widely. Nung nalaman ko that he was giving it to us as a wedding gift sobrang naiyak ako sa gesture na yon. I was meant to be with this family.  "From one great love story, to another." He said with so much affection. Everyone finally cooled down and hugged us to congratulate us. Except Xavier's mom. I was too afraid to approach her baka galit sya sakin. Ako din kasi yung pasimuno nito. I squeezed Xavier's hand so he walked over to his mom and he hugged her. I felt so bad kasi I could see na naluha na sya while Xavier was whispering to her.

Gusto kong sumuka because of my guilt. I should have known that this will be hard for her! Magiging nanay nako e. It would devastate me kung wala ako sa kasal ng anak ko. So kahit natatakot ako, I approached them so I could apologize to her.

"I'm so sorry tita." I said somberly.

"Anak I'm sorry, it's not that I'm not happy for the both of you. Nagtatampo lang ako that I didn't get to see it. I was never prepared na isa sa mga anak ko magtatanan. And I would think na mas si Tiff yon, hindi ikaw Xavier." She said as another tear escaped her eye. She hugged me.

"I understand tita. I'm so sorry." Her hug broke my heart. Kailangan kong bumawi sa kanya. Sa kanilang lahat. Hindi ko pinagsisisihan na nagpakasal na kami ni Xavier, but we should not have kept it to ourselves. Masyado kong gustong mag madali, and people got hurt because of it. So it gave me an idea.

"We can get married again? Yung nandito na kayong lahat. The civil one was so simple and we didn't even get to say vows..." Di ako pinatapos ni tita.

"Yes! We'll do it before New Year and we can do it here! If ok lang yon sa inyong dalawa?" I looked at Xavier na inakbayan ako.

"It's a great idea ma." He answered her and she hugged me before hurrying towards the others so she can tell them. "Thank you and welcome to the family, Harper. Officially."

I don't know how they all did it, but after a few days, I already found myself standing in front of the mirror in a beautiful white flowing gown, counting the minutes before I walk down the aisle. Well if Xavier and I can fix a civil wedding in 3 days I think naman that the whole family was more than capable to set this up ng ilang araw lang. I don't know why I was even surprised.

"Okay, don't you dare look out of that window!" Hilda said sternly as she and Holly entered Xavier's bedroom that was given to me to dress up while he was whisked off to tatay's house along with his family where they will get ready. Ayaw pang humiwalay saakin ni Xavier saying na kasal naman na kami but when he saw the murderous stare his mom gave him, he quickly complied. I think she was just milking the fact na guilty parin kami ni Xavier about the secret wedding pero she was nowhere near upset kasi as Xavier left, tita grinned at me.

"I'm not looking! I really want to be surprised." We're having an evening wedding as they planned and they blindfolded me nung malapit na kami dito. It was rather unfair na nakita na ni Xavier lahat. He just said in his defense na para naman saakin to so tama lang na ako lang yung hindi pa nakakakita. Actually this is for everyone we love. I was already perfectly happy to be married to Xavier, but we need to share it with them.

"What we did downstairs is so you. And Xavier." Holly smiled. Wow so tumulong din pala sya? She looks like she wants to say something pa pero di nya alam saan maguumpisa. "Harper, I don't think I apologized properly and sincerely sa lahat ng nangyari between us. I'm really sorry." She started.

"Ate, it's fine. I'm sorry din if medyo..." I couldn't find the right word.

"Bitch ka?" Hilda giggled as she fixed my bouquet. I wasn't without fault, and alam ko naman yon.

"Yeah that. I'm sorry if bitch ako sayo." I faced Holly.

"Actually, bitch kayong dalawa so magkakagulo-gulo talaga tayo." Hilda added.

"Wag ka mag feeling masyado na napaka bait mo." Inirapan ko sya. "But really Holly, I'm sorry as well sa lahat ng nangyari between us through the years. I demanded a sincere apology from you but even I can't give it." It's now easier to fix things with Holly because okay na din kami nila daddy and she seems to be getting herself together din. "Enough sorries already this is a great day, so let's just hug." Hilda piped up.

Pareho kaming umirap ni Holly but we both know Hilda will not stop so we let her drag us closer for a hug. ;"Oh we're going to be best friends again, I can feel it."

If you're loving the book, nel5s.org is where the adventure continues. Join us for the complete experience all for free. The next chapter is eagerly waiting for you! "I wouldn't count on that too much Hilds." I retorted but smiled.

"A sister can dream." She handed me my bouquet with an excited smile.

Our dad's head peeked on the doorway. "Ready?" While Hilda's excitement doubled, medyo kinabahan ako. Hilda and Holly went ahead to take their places already.

My dad offered the crook of his arm as we faced the staircase. "You're the prettiest bride, Harper."

"Ngayon naniniwala nakong favorite mo ko." I chuckled. "No crying." Pahabol ko.

"No promises." He smiled then bumaba na kami and we stopped by the end of the driveway where we're supposed to wait, still preventing me to see the venue.

"Seriously, I still can't see it?" I groaned. Natawa lang yung tatay ko at my impatience.

We heard soft music and my dad led the way. Nung nakita ko na yung garden nila Xavier, my breathing hitched. When I thought it was magical days ago, this was breathtakingly stunning. The trees of course were still filled with fairy lights and a canopy was set up to cover our few close friends and family that were seated. The canopy was filled with different flowers and more fairy lights to illuminate the aisle. Straight out of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. I can see why my sisters think this is more "me" because it wasn't grand, it was intimate. It was Xavier because it was artistic and playful.

On the altar ahead, I can see my forever-Xavier. He dried his tears that fell from his eyes upon seeing me start to walk down the aisle and he smiled sweetly. I felt my heart surge with so much love for him. Kung mahal na mahal ko na sya, I didn't think it was possible to feel that love even grow during this moment, but it did, and it will forever do so.

My whole walk my eyes never left his. Since the day I met him, he held my attention. I have always been his.

Always. And now, forever.

I hugged my dad before he gave me away to Xavier. "I love you, Harper." He whispered and kissed my cheek. "I love you too, dad." He shook hands with Xavier then Xavier took my hand.

"Ready to do this again, Mrs. Arnaiz?"

"As long as you're the one beside me."

Now it was time for our vows. I looked forward to this part kasi we didn't get to do this during our civil ceremony. Xavier went first, which may not be the best idea kasi baka sobrang lunod nako sa iyak at hindi ko pa masabi yung vows ko. Try not to cry, Harper.

"I think mostly everyone here witnessed my hopeless crush on you for years. Everyone said na wala akong pag asa sayo. I was contented na makita kang naglalakad araw-araw towards your office without so much as a glance at me." Oh my god, I swear I hope I glanced, even once in all those years.

"It's an understatement to say I was 'whipped' by a woman who wasn't even my girlfriend. A woman who doesn't even know I existed or I only knew through second-hand stories. I waited for you to look my way. I waited na masilayan mo ang kagwapuhan ko. I waited for my chance na makapag papansin man lang sayo. I waited. More than a year passed, you finally looked at me. And never in my wildest dreams would I imagine na ang unang gagawin mo ay utusan akong gumawa ng kape mo, thinking I was your new assistant."

Natawa yung mga hindi pa nakakaalam nung part na yun tungkol saamin. I feel it was so long ago as I smiled remembering everything and now we're here.

"If it was any other girl, I would have laughed it off and walked the other way. Pero ikaw yon at ang tagal kitang hinintay. So even if you said na itimpla ko yung mainit na kape sa kamay ko, I would have done so with the biggest smile on my face. That's how whipped I was. That's how desperately I wanted that chance na makilala ka. Then I got to know you. The world saw you in a different way than I did. They see a strict and ill-tempered boss, I see you as someone driven and passionate with what you worked hard for. They see a snarky and sarcastic person, and I see you as smart and honest, always brave to say what you need to say. They see cold, while I see strength. I'm not saying you're perfect and that's okay because everything in you is what makes me fall in love with you over and over again. All your quirks, stubbornness, kasungitan, your sweetness, your quietness, your crazy mood swings, and especially the love and care you have for the people important to you." I was already crying and Xavier dried my tears with his thumb.

"I will always feel privileged that you shared with me all of your sides because in you I saw everything I admire in a person. A person I want to spend my life with. I will never tire of reading you and be surprised after discovering more and more facets of you come out as we start this life together. I know I badly screwed up that I thought I was going to lose you because of the biggest and maybe the stupidest mistake I made in my life. I've never been scared and lost in my life until that time. That was when I realized that my life only made sense if you're in it. I prepared myself for the worst that I was already too late and that I have to wait for our next lifetime for my second chance at being with you for the rest of my waking life. I'll always be thankful you gave me another chance so I didn't have to wait. And even if I did, I know it will be worth it. You will always be worth it. You are the only person who's worth waiting a thousand years for. Every lifetime, I promise I will wait for you." Hindi ko alam, but feeling ko I was already ugly-crying while smiling.

"Baby, thank you for your unselfish and unconditional love. Thank you for believing that I deserve all the opportunities that went my way. I know I will not be the perfect husband and father, but I promise I will work hard to be always deserving of you and your love. I promise to be understanding, to go through our new life holding your hand, to carry you when you're down. I promise to be your best friend, to make you laugh, and to make you eternally happy. I promise to protect you and our future kids. I promise to make you and our family my number one priority. I promise to keep pursuing you during our every fight kahit ano man yung ibato mo saakin. And finally, I promise my life to you. I love you so much, Harper Javier Arnaiz and I'm yours in every possible way. You hold my life and love in your hands and in your heart. Always. Forever. For all our eternity." Xavier finished and kissed my hand. Ohmygod I don't know now how I'm going to go through my vows after crying too much because of his vows and my overwhelming love for Xavier. I composed myself and started.

"I was never prepared for you. You came into my life like a sudden thunderous bang in the middle of a soundless night. You threw my routine and my plans off-balanced, but in a good way. I never knew that the moment I saw you, I would look for you all the time. Your face, your voice, your smell, your presence. I was suddenly that kind of girl. The kilig-chaser feeling-teenager type of girl. You were suddenly my biggest and only distraction. I tried and failed fighting off my attraction and eventually my feelings for you. I tried denying that I was already falling for you because I thought it was unrequited. If only I knew na patay na patay ka na pala saakin then it could have probably saved us a lot of time." Xavier looked at me, his eyes full of amusement dahil naisip na din nya yon. A lot of times.

"I have always thought about our what ifs and one of those, as you have earlier mentioned, is what if I saw you sooner. What if I glanced your way, would we end up right here at this very moment? Maybe we'll have the whirlwind romance that will take us right here. Or maybe I would stubbornly remain the way that I was and pass you up. So it also made me realize that maybe the universe threw us together at the right time when we needed each other. I was never prepared for you, but you're exactly what I needed. I needed you not only to get me that cup of coffee, but I needed you so I can I can open my eyes to all the things that this life has to offer. You made me adventurous, curious, open, willing, and made me leap off my comfort zone. Things that I won't willingly do before you came to my life. You made me feel free. You made me patient, you made me kinder, compassionate, you made me more human. Most importantly, you made me happy. You have saved me from a colorless life that I was dragging myself into, and from my unwillingness to move on from my past and my baggages. You saved me by showing me a life that I could have. I know we've also been through fights and difficult challenges and I wasn't prepared for that as well because I expected that our love should be perfect. But love stories don't work that way. The greatest love stories were never perfect as immortalized in literature by Shakespeare, Austen, Bronte, Marquez and all the other greats. Love needs plots and twists to test the lovers' faith in each other, in their love, so that it may grow. As a lover of literature, I'm ashamed that it was only now that I've learned that. Being with you made me realize that love doesn't need to be perfect, it only needs to be true." He squeezed my hand and nagpunas sya ng mata. This wedding is so full of tears.

"Love, thank you for waiting. Thank you for being persistent and thank you for not giving up. I'm not going to promise that your life will be easy having me as your wife, but I will promise that you now have my unwavering faith and trust. I promise to always support and encourage you and be your number one cheerleader and fan. I promise to always listen and be what you need. I promise to be your partner in this next adventure we call marriage and family life. I promise to make you happy as much as you have made me feel. I promise to always fight for you and choose us through our plots and twists. Finally, I promise that you will always have my unending and truest love for the rest of our lives, until the next. My life is yours as well. I love you so much Xavier and I look forward to falling in love with you over and over again each and every day."

"I love you too, Mrs. Arnaiz." Xavier whispered to me lovingly and kissed me kahit hindi pa sinasabi ng pari. These little things, whether it will drive me crazy eventually, I will forever love about him.