Saving Harper

-Xavier's POV-

(Six or more years ago)

"Hi, can I talk to Architect Arnaiz?" The girl who was waiting at the lobby stood up when I stopped in front of her.

"Sinong Architect Arnaiz?" Medyo natawa ako sa tanong nya. Pito kaming Architect Arnaiz sa firm namin-lolo ko, tatay at nanay ko, tito ko, yung pinsan kong si Peter, ako, at yung ate ko si Tiff.

"Uhhh. Architect Romulo Arnaiz Sr.?" She frowned at the business card she was holding not expecting na there's more than one Arch. Arnaiz, then tumingin sya sakin ulit.

"Ahh. Okay the receptionist must have called me kasi wala pa yung lolo ko. May appointment ka ba? Kasi nasa site pa sya. Dadating na yon in a while."

"Yes, my dad sent me kasi he's going to be late din. Saan ako pwedeng mag hintay?" She asked me.

"You can wait here if you want or may conference room din sa loob." Tinuro ko yung office namin with my thumb.

"Sige, I'll wait here nalang my dad won't be long din siguro."

"Okay, as you wish. I'm Architect Xavier Arnaiz." I held out my hand. Nagets na nya na hindi lang yung lolo ko yung nag iisang Arnaiz dito.

"Kylie. Kylie Guerrero." She took my hand and shook it.

"Nice to meet you Ms. Guerrero, I'll let my lolo know na nandito ka na." Binigyan ko sya ng ngiti. She's actually pretty and surprisingly taller than what I expected her to be nung nakita ko syang nakaupo sa lobby.

I ended up designing their house with my lolo kasi wala pang one year since I passed the board exam. I got to know Kylie more kasi sya yung usually pumupunta sa meetings kasi busy yung tatay nya.

"So, architect, can I ask you out to dinner?" She asked me suddenly nung natapos nya akong iikot sa bahay nila habang pina pasukatan ko kasama nung contractor namin. Medyo nagulat ako sa tanong nya. Di ko kasi ineexpect that she saw me that way. Akala ko friendly lang talaga sya.

Di ko alam yung sasabihin ko. Is it a good idea to date clients? "Uhhh, pwede bang balikan kita dyan? Kasi it might be unprofessional to date a client." I admitted. Wala namang point na magsinungaling kung bakit ko pag iisipan. Baka pagalitan pa ko ng nanay ko pag nalaman nya.

"Sure." She shrugged.

Dun ko unang naisip that I might also like her.

"Xavier, you know it's not the best idea to date clients." Inirapan ako ng nanay ko when I mentioned yung tanong sakin ni Kylie habang kumakain kami ng hapunan. I was always open sa kanila pag dating sa mga bagay na ganito. "Tanya, hayaan mo na yung anak mo. I think he can handle it. And baka nakakalimutan mo, we met in our firm. Peter met Eliza sa firm." Si Eliza, fiancée nung pinsan ko. Architect din sa firm namin.

"Tumigil ka dad. I was an architect applying in the firm and Eliza's also an architect there. Magkaiba yon. This is a client." Tinitigan ni mommy si daddy as if challenging him to say otherwise.

My dad smiled sheepishly. "Palaging tama yung nanay mo, Xavier. Kahit na ang kliente yung tatay talaga ni Kylie." Tinaasan nya ng dalawang kilay si mommy, parang nagpapacute. Feeling ko nag mana ako sa tatay ko. Always the easy go lucky and joking type. Habang si ate Tiff naman kay mommy nagmana.

"Ako ang boto ko umalis ka nalang dun sa project. I'll handle it so you can date this Kylie if you really like her." Di naman masama yung idea ng ate ko. Di ko lang sure if client parin sya non. Parang? Pero sabi nga ng tatay ko, yung tatay naman talaga ni Kylie yung kliente namin at hindi na kami directly working together? Mga excuses mo Xavier.

"Siguro naman pwede na yon mommy?" Nginitian ng tatay ko si mommy asking her. I'm sure excited yung dad ko kasi ang tagal ko ng hindi nagpapakilala ng girlfriend sa kanila at palagi nyang tinatanong sakin kung may nililigawan ba ko. "Bahala ka Xavier, make sure that girl's worth it." Di na nagprotesta si mommy.

I went on a date with Kylie the following day. I didn't see the need na patagalin ko pa kasi baka mawala pa yung standing offer nya. She was nice, her dad liked me, and she works hard as a freelance writer in a well-known fashion magazine pero gusto nya talaga mag start mag model.

Three months after that, sinagot ako ni Kylie and pinakilala ko na sya sa magulang ko formally. Syempre masaya yung tatay ko, pero si ate at si mommy medyo matagal bago nag warm up sa kanya. Yung lolo ko naman, basta masaya daw ako. I think yun din yung rason para mag warm up si mommy kay Kylie, dahil nakikita naman nyang masaya ako.

A year into our relationship, you can say na nandun parin kami sa "honeymoon" phase. Masaya, malandi, and we never had any problems. Mga usual tampuhan lang kapag di nakakatawag or nakakatext paminsan. Parang bata pa. I was her second boyfriend habang sya third girlfriend ko naman.

"Honey, I think I seriously want to pursue being a model." She said habang nasa date kami. Matagal na nyang pinag iisipan yon kasi madami ng lumalapit sakanya na model/talent scouts bilang sa fashion magazine nga sya nagtatrabaho so madami syang nakikkilalang ganon.

"Magandang idea yan Ky. Matagal ko ng sinasabi sayo na i-try mo na e. Kesa palagi mong iniisip without deciding over it." Syempre, supportive ako sa kanya. I was doing relatively good sa firm, pero I've always felt na kulang pa yung nalalaman ko and nagiisip din ako na bumalik sa photography and painting. So gusto ko din na magventure sya outside her comfort zone.

"Sige, I just really want to know if okay lang sayo." She bit her lip looking at me.

"Of course, I'll support you. Bakit naman hindi diba?" Alam ko she'll do good. Palagi syang nagkekwento sakin ng mga tungkol sa fashion, make up, at kung ano ano pa na hindi ko alam at sinusubukan ko lang matandaan kasi alam kong doon sya nag eenjoy.

She eyed me, as if hinuhulaan nya kung nagsasabi ba ko ng totoo. Wala sa ugali kong magsinungaling lalu na sa mga ganito. Kasi nga open kami sa pamilya ko. Pinalaki kami ni ate nila mommy na di sila nagbibigay ng rason para magsinungaling kami. Transparent din sila saamin and they trust us with our decisions.

"Baka mawalan ako ng time pag may go-see and shoots na?" Hindi parin nagiiba kung paano nya ko tignan.

"Hon, I told you, ok yang desisyon mo and I'll support you. Nagiging busy naman din ako once in a while pag madaming clients and patient ka naman pag ganon. So, I don't think magkaka problema tayo."

I was sincere with what I said. Maintindihin din kasi yung parents ko pag dating sa ganito. Never kaming inimpluwensyahan to go into the business. Ako gusto ko talagang maging architect kasi inclined talaga ako sa arts and nainspire din ako sa lolo ko pag dinadala nya ko sa office nila and sa site.

"Magpatanggap ka muna, feeling mo agad may shoot ka na kinabukasan." I joked and hinampas nya ko. "Supportive ba yan?"

"Joke lang. Pero go." I laughed. Nakatanggap nanaman ako ng hampas. "Joke nga lang hon. I'll be the most supportive boyfriend. And to show that, gusto ko ako gagawa ng una mong photoshoot." I smiled at her and natuwa naman sya don. I took a lot of photos of her at yung iba ginamit din nya sa portfolio nya. I developed a lot of her photos para magamit ko someday sa photo exhibits kung babalik man ako sa hobby ko na yon. Pero ang favorite ko yung una kasi it will always remind me how she was bago sya sumikat. Sinabi ko din sa sarili ko that I will always keep that photo.

Not long after, nakakuha sya ng modeling agency and madami din syang go-see na pinuntahan. Minsan dinadala nya ko pag may time ako. Pero di ko talaga naiintindihan what she's doing so hinihintay ko nalang sya sa kotse minsan. More than a year after nyang maka book ng photoshoots nya, sinabihan nya ko na gusto nyang magpalit ng itsura. Meaning mag undergo ng surgery. Yun yata yung unang away namin na seryoso.

"Kylie, nothing's wrong with you. Ang ganda mo nga bakit mo to naisip?" Pero may feeling ako na hindi nya to idea. Baka yung manager/agent nya or kung sino man.

"Xavier, hindi mo naiintindihan. I won't be able to book some work kasi may certain requirements sila na hinahanap sa models!" Tinaasan na nya ko ng boses na parang hindi ko naiintindihan. Hindi ko talaga gets.

"So ano, pag hindi na matangos na ilong yung requirement nila, magpapalit ka nanaman?" Sinimangutan ko sya na parang hindi ko sya kilala at that moment.

"Why are you being difficult? Mukha ko naman to." She was being defensive about this and it shows na talagang nagpadala lang sya sa ibang tao.

"Sabihin mo nga sakin Kylie, was this your idea? Kasi yung girlfriend ko, sa pagkakaalam ko, hindi nya maiisip to."

"Bakit, hindi ba ko pwedeng mag bago?"

"Of course pwede, just make sure that you're doing this for yourself at hindi ka lang pinepressure ng kung sino man na mas gaganda ka at sisikat ka pag may iniba ka sa mukha mo or sa sarili mo." Sa totoo lang ayoko talaga ng desisyon nya pero tama din naman sya na katawan nya yon. I just don't want her to get too lost sa mga ginagawa nya para sa trabaho nya. Yung sinasacrifice na nya yung mga dati namang mahal nya.

Sa buong three years namin na gkas ngayon lang nagkaron ng insec ity si Kylie sa itsura nya.

"I thought you'll be supportive sa ginagawa ko?"

"I am. May narinig ka bang anything from me? At bakit kailangan absolute? Kailangan ba hindi ko na masabi yung opinyon ko just to show my support sa trabaho mo? Ky, this is not a small thing na pag naisipan mong ayaw mo na pwede mo lang ibalik. Pero sana naman ikaw mismo yung may gusto nito." Gusto ko lang na umamin sya na iba yung nag suggest sakanya nito because I know her.

"Yes, this is what I want. It doesn't matter kung sinong nag suggest sakin non." She said in finality.

I should have known at that time na nagsisimula ko na syang hindi makilala.

Kasi pag tapos nyang ipagawa yung ilong nya, yung cheek bones naman nya, tapos yung panga nya. Then she had all these weekly treatments na pampakinis daw. Minsan iniisip ko kung makikilala ko pa sya pag ma tagal-tagal ko syang hindi makikita.

That was only the start of it. Sumunod na yung sinabi nyang madami syang gagawin at mauubusan na kami ng oras sa isa't isa.

Pero dahil mahal ko sya, lahat inintindi ko. Lahat ng cancelled dates, missed calls, lahat ng oras ko while waiting for her to finish work to talk to me or text me. Basically, all the waiting. Kalahati ng last two years namin parang wala akong ginawa kung hindi mag hintay sa kanya.

I knew I was already relegated to the not-so priority lane.

But again, I kept making excuses sa utak ko na trabaho yon at gusto ko din naman syang maging successful dahil eto yung gusto nyang gawin. At dito sya magaling. So kung makakasama ko sya habambuhay, I really need to understand and masanay sa ganito.

I tried.

Pero kakaiba din pala ang epekto pag nararamdaman mong hindi ka priority. Unti-unti ko nararamdaman na mukhang hindi ko yata kaya to kung habambuhay akong hindi pipiliin.

Our relationship took a final nosedive when she started booking international jobs. Yon talagang nakalimutan na nya ko sa lahat ng ginagawa nya.

"Xavier, sigurado ka pa ba sa relasyon mo?" Tinanong ako ni Tatay (lolo ko) nung nagiinuman kaming lima nila dad, tito Ralph yung kapatid ni daddy at si Peter.

For once, hindi ko na alam yung isasagot ko dun. Dati kampante ako sa relasyon namin ni Kylie at medyo nararamdaman ko na pwedeng sya na yung makasama ko sa buhay. Pero ngayon? Paano mo makakasama yung isang taong walang panahon na itanong man lang sayo kung anong nangyayari sa buhay mo?

"Oo nga anak, sikat na sikat na si Kylie, nagkikita pa ba kayo?" Tanong ng daddy ko.

"Lately, hindi na masyado. Three months na din kaming hindi nagkikita." Sinagot ko habang napainom ako. Kakaiba din kung naaawa na sayo yung mga taong mahal mo.

"Kala ko nagkita kayo last week? Diba kaya ka nag leave?" Tanong ni tito Ralph.

"Layover lang pala nya yung Manila from Bangkok papuntang Australia, kaya hindi na sya nakalabas nga airport." I answered.

Hindi nya yon sinabi kaya nagprepare pako ng surprise para sakanya. Nag away nanaman kami dahil don. Kung sinabi lang nya na hindi sya magtatagal, e di sana hindi nako nagplano at nag abang sakanya sa airport. Mukha pakong tanga don kasi late na sya nagtext akala ko delayed yung flight nila.

Di ko na din alam kung anong ginagawa ko sa buhay ko kasi parang naghihintay nalang ako sa wala.

"Anak, kung hindi ka na masaya, wala namang masama na aminin mo yun sa sarili mo." Di kaya tama yung lolo ko at masyado nalang akong umaasa na hindi pa matatapos tong relasyon namin?

"Oo nga Xavier. Baka in denial ka nalang na kaya mo pa to." Sabi ni Peter.

"Xavier, hindi lahat ng relasyon sa ganyang edad would work out. Lalu na kung hindi na kayo pareho ng gusto sa buhay. Yung tipong nakikita mo ng sya yung gusto mong makasama, pero sya pala hindi yun yung gusto or hindi sya prepared don." Okay masyado ng tagos yun sa kaluluwa ko yung sinabi ni daddy.

Maybe I was indeed the only one fighting for this.

Pag balik nya galing sa photoshoot nya sa Australia, sinabihan ko syang kailangan namin mag usap. Kung hindi nako sigurado kung gusto nya pa to, kailangan ko syang tanungin directly.

"Hi hon, sorry I just read your text. Super jetlagged ako and I had 3 photoshoots yesterday. I can't do dinner later." Kylie greeted me pag bukas nya ng pinto sa hotel nya.

Dumating na sya sa point na sa hotel nalang sya nagsstay kapag nasa Manila kasi wala na syang panahon na magligpit at magluto para sa sarili nya kung dun pa sya sa condo nya uuwi. At dahil daw hindi din naman sya magtatagal sa Manila. "We need to talk Ky." I said at hindi parin nya naramdaman what it was all about.

"You want lunch? Let's order late lunch. Pwede ka nalang mag stay dito sa hotel tonight kasi di na talaga ako makakalabas sa sobrang pagod." Ano dun ako magsstay pero papanoorin ko lang sya matulog buong araw at maghihintay nanaman ako kung kelan sya magkaka panahon para saamin?

"Ky, sinabi kong kailangan natin mag usap."

"I heard you Xavier ok? We can't do it while eating?" Pasungit nyang sinabi. Iniisip nya yatang isa ako sa mga utusan nya sa mga shoot nya. "Now what do you want?" She asked me habang nakatingin sa menu. Wala dun yung gusto ko. "I want to know kung gusto mo pa ba tong relasyon natin." I directly said. Ni hindi ako umupo kasi deep inside, alam ko na din naman yung isasagot nya.

She slowly looked at me at binaba yung menu. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Are you breaking up with me?" She frowned.

"Paano ko bebreakan yung taong hindi ko nga alam kung girlfriend ko pa." Hindi ko na kayang hindi magtaas yung boses ko. Siguro naipon na kasi lahat ng pasensya kong pinakita na hindi naman nababalik.

"Syempre girlfriend mo pa ko!" She scoffed na parang hindi totoo yung sinabi ko sakanya. Pero for once, wala ako sa mood na biruin sya. Not with this. Not with what I'm feeling right now.

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"Talaga? Kelan tayo huling nagkita Kylie? Anong huling alam mo sa nangyayari buhay ko? Anong huli mong sinabi sakin na ginagawa mo? Kelan mo ko huling tinawagan? Anong huling text mo sakin?" Ayokong nanunumbat pero hindi ko na macontrol yung nararamdaman ko.

"Alam mo naman kung gaano ako ka busy this season."

"Anong pinagsasabi mong season Ky? Two years ka ng busy."

"Akala ko ba gusto mo to for me? So bakit nagkakaganyan ka ngayon kung kelan nakukuha ko na yung gusto ko? I sacrificed a lot of things para dito alam mo yan. Oras, paghihirap, lahat ng gabing umiyak ako pag wala akong nakukuhang bookings. Alam mo lahat yun." Nagtataas na din sya ng boses.

"Di ko naman alam na isa ako dun at yung relasyon natin sa sinacrifice mo to get to where you are!" Nasasaktan nako sa lahat ng sinasabi ko sakanya. I couldn't believe na aabot kami dito sa point na to.

"I didn't sacrifice you Xavier. Kasama ka parin sa mga plano ko."

"Ah talaga anong plano yon at kelan? Pag nag retire ka na sa ginagawa mo? Kasi sa totoo lang Ky, wala akong lugar ngayon sa buhay mo. Tell me if I'm wrong." Natahimik sya sa sinabi ko.

"Sige nga, papapiliin kita. Ako, yung relasyon natin at yung pwede nating maging future or yung nangyayari sayo ngayon? Tell me so I can simply walk out of your life pag hindi ako yung pinili mo." "Please don't make me choose Xavier." She pleaded.

"Kasi Ky sawa nako na nasa backseat nalang ako palagi. Sana minsan intindihin mo naman ako. Hindi ko naman hiningi na bumalik ka na dito to be with me. Ano ba naman yung konting oras Ky?" "Nandito naman ako ngayon Xavier ano bang hinihingi mo sakin?"

"Yung girlfriend ko."

"Sinasabi mong hindi mo hinihingi na bumalik ako dito for you pero pinapapili mo ko?" Nararamdaman kong pagod na din sya. Pagod na syang may kailangan syang intindihin dito.

"Just answer the question Kylie." Tatapusin ko na tong torture na to para saaming dalawa.

"You already know my answer, Xavier. You've always known it." She silently said.

Oo alam ko na. At hindi ako yon.

I walked out of that hotel room telling myself na hindi ko na hahayaan na mapunta ako sa posisyon na hindi ako pipipliin ng taong mahal ko.

(present day)

"Bibilhin mo? No need, Xavier. I can give it to you. It's a very good piece." Sabi ni Tatay habang tinitignan namin yung sculpture ni Daniel Dela Cruz. Harper's favorite artist sa ArtFair. "Hindi na Tay, bibilhin ko nalang kasi I'm giving it to someone."

Tumaas dalawang kilay nya and napabilog yung mata. "Who's the lucky lady?"

"Paano mo naman nalamang babae?" I joked.

"Kilala kita." My lolo chuckled.

"Somehow parang feeling ko hindi ko magugustuhan kung paano mo naman ako nakilala sa pinaguusapan nating sculpture." I narrowed my eyes sa lolo ko.

"Nagmana ka sakin e. Kung mag mahal ka halos ibigay mo na lahat basta masaya sya." He shrugged. "Kahit hindi nya mapantayan."

"Mahal agad?" Umiwas ako. I wasn't pining after Harper kung hindi naman yon yung nararamdaman ko.

"Di mo sya bibigyan ng ganito kung hindi mo sya mahal."

"So magkano Tay?" Umiwas ulit ako. Yung kawalan ko ng sagot ay sagot na para sakanya.

"The price will depend kung nasabi mo na ba sa kanyang mahal mo sya."

I eyed him again. "Paano?"

"Tell me if nasabi mo na."

"Na mahal ko sya? Hindi pa." I told him the truth.

"May balak ka bang sabihin?"

"Yes, after I give her this aamin nako."

"Okay. The price is pag inamin mo na sakanya, and if she can't choose you, walk away para mapili mo yung sarili mo." I did not expect that the price was that high. Napalunok ako. Parang gusto ko nalang syang bayaran ng pera. I was curious. "Anong price kung nasabi ko na?"

"Same. Kahit nasabi mo na sakanya and she can't choose you, walk away."

Masyado nilang nakita yung trauma ko over what happened to me nung naghiwalay kami ni Kylie two years ago. Parang I was so convinced that I wasn't good enough. For a while yun yung naramdaman ko. Muntik na nila kong pigilan na mag master's kasi akala nila yun yung rason ko for doing it.

Eventually, I got over the fact that Kylie didn't choose me and naintindihan ko din why she chose herself instead. May mga moments talaga na dadating tayo sa buhay natin na kailangan nating piliin yung sarili natin, it's just a matter of figuring out when.

Harper's reaction to my gift was priceless. Naiyak sya over it at sinabi nyang yun daw yung pinaka magandang regalo na natanggap nya from someone who really paid attention to her.

Muntik ko ng sabihin at that moment na mahal ko na sya. Pero gusto ko tapusin nya muna yung meeting nya so she can concentrate on what I was about to say. Baka kasi kailangan nya pa ng time for it to sink in. That I was able to love her when she bared her soul to me.

If you're loving the book, nel5s.org is where the adventure continues. Join us for the complete experience all for free. The next chapter is eagerly waiting for you!

"Hi kuya Xavier!" Nagulat ako dahil biglang nandun na sa tapat ko si Hilda. Hindi ko naman alam na papunta sya kasi hindi tumawag yung receptionist. Pero baka dahil kapatid sya ni Harper, pinapasok nalang.

"Hi Hilda. Napadalaw ka sa ate mo?" Umikot pa sya sa desk ko para bumeso sakin so tumayo din ako.

"I'm dropping off ate's bridesmaid dress. What are you doing?" She looked over my desktop kung saan ko ginagawa yung artwork ko sa cover ng libro na pinag pustahan namin ni Harper.

"Book cover para ipitch sa isang writer."

"Wow ang ganda ha! Anyway, here. It's my wedding invitation. And bawal tumanggi kasi nasa seating arrangement ka na. Don't make me change it." Siningkitan nya ko ng mata habang inabot saakin yung mamahaling envelope. I raised both hands in mock defeat. "Para kang ate mo. Walang makakatanggi sayo."

She giggled at my answer. "I'll give this to ate na. Good mood ba sya?" Natawa naman ako sa tanong nya. I guess lahat ng nandito sa office yan ang tanong kapag papasok sa office ni Harper.

"I'd like to think so."

"Ang cryptic naman nyan. Sige, I'll take my chances." She entered Harper's office and binuksan ko yung invitation. The date made me realize something. Tangina. I almost forgot that I need to leave for Seattle at yung departure date ko was 2 days after her wedding.

Paano ako aamin kay Harper? Well naisip ko na I'll take my chances and we'll make it work. Sana lang okay sa kanya yon kung gusto man nya ko. I'll ask her to come with me if gusto nya.

I was already practicing what I was going to say to her habang nandun sya sa meeting nya pero parang lahat ng naiisip ko mukhang tanga so I decided to just wing it. Deretcho mong sabihin Xavier. Walang pa ligoy-ligoy.

I entered her office after her meeting and I found her deep in thought at naka titig sa isang sulok ng kwarto nya. Ni hindi nga nya napansin na umupo nako sa isa sa dalawang silya nya sa harap ng desk nya. It was a little bit funny kapag ganito

sya.

Tinaasan ko ng kilay yung trashcan nya kung saan tinapon nya yung magazine with Kylie on the front cover. So nagselos nga sya? I was encouraged by that fact. And hindi ko din makalimutan yung narinig ko from her na comment nung nasa ArtFair namin. Na itry ko syang i-girlfriend.

Sa totoo lang, di ko lang sya sinagot non kasi kaka kuha ko lang nung email ko from the university confirming that I can now attend actual classes. Hindi ako sure at that time kung ok ba na sabihin sa kanya kahit aalis nako. But now I was

ready. "Ohmygod kanina ka pa dyan?" Kitang kita yung gulat sa mukha nya. I smiled in amusement. "Medyo. Maooffend na nga ako kasi may mas distracting pa pala sayo kesa sakin."

At sinubukan kong itago yung tawa ko sa ginagawa nyang paghatak nung trashcan nya patago sa desk nya as if hindi ko pa yon nakikita. Mamaya ko na sya lolokohin over it. "Wag kang mag alala, ikaw parin panalo." Pag sinagot mo ko, panalo talaga ako.

"I want to tell you something." Eto na. Ready nako.

"Ako din." She suddenly looked bothered about something. Feeling ko importante to, so pinauna ko na sya.

She was getting a promotion together with Franco. ;"Oh wow. Wait bakit hindi ka masaya?" I asked her. Ngayon nagdadalawang isip nako if I should tell her how I feel.

She exhaled. "Kasi it's sort of a test for us. Eventually, one of us will become CEO pag nagretire si George. And I really don't want to compete with Franco."

"Gusto mo bang maging CEO?" I asked. Am I hoping for a certain answer?

She's not only getting a promotion but there's also possibly another one. How can I let her pass it up? And she won't. I know her well enough na hindi nya palalagpasin yung chance na maging CEO sya.

"Yeah of course. Pero Franco also deserves it. I'd feel bad if I get it."

"So ikaw anong sasabihin mo?" She asked me at natahimik ako.

I made a mistake before na pinapili ko si Kylie between me and her work, when it should have been easy for me to let her choose herself.

And I won't make the same mistake again.

Sabi ko nga, it's a matter of knowing when you should choose yourself. And this was Harper's time. Sa dami nyang baggage over feeling that she wasn't good enough for her family, at sa lahat ng sinacrifice nyang oras at effort sa ginagawa

nya, she deserves this. This was the validation she needed so she can realize na she's good enough.

I can't take that away. I won't take that away.

"Ummm, may date nako para pumunta sa Seattle to finish my master's." I just said.

Binato nya ko ng mga usual na tanong.

"Answer me Harper. Mamimiss mo ba ko?" The answer to that was all I wanted to hear ngayon.

Enough na yun saakin ngayon. Piliin nya yung sarili nya pero gusto kong malaman na may bakas ba kong iiwan sa buhay nya.

"Of course." She said it with sincerity.

"Ikaw yung pinaka mamimiss ko dito."

Alam kong malungkot to para sakin, but I should be happy for her. She was getting what she has always wanted.

I decided to try and make the mood lighter. Hindi ko alam kung para sakanya or saakin.

"Gusto mo bang itapon ko yung trashcan mo?" I asked in jest. Her reaction was cute. She looked horrified na nakita ko yung magazine na tinapon nya. It was one of her quirks that I loved about her. Yung mga times na feeling nya hindi ko sya nakikita or naririnig.

Kung alam lang nya.

Tumayo ako trying to hide my smile. I'll miss this definitely. Trying to bait her sa mga bagay na natataranta sya that I know.

Pero kung nagseselos sya kay Kylie, mali yon. She was way more special. She's the girl who made me realize that walking away from Kylie didn't only mean that Kylie chose herself. It meant I also chose myself. Kasi I got out of our relationship so I can live my life the way I wanted to, and nakilala ko si Harper because of it.

And most importantly, nalaman ko dun na it wasn't Kylie that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

"Harper, don't think about it too much." I said. Ayoko talagang isipin pa nya si Kylie. It was my past. Tapos na.

"I let go of the photo." I finally said as I exit her office.

It doesn't matter if Harper didn't choose me. What matters is I chose her. And this was what it means to choose her yung hahayan ko syang piliin yung sarili nya.