Saving Briar

He’d been dreaming about her, about her taste, and the soft curves of her body, and in his dreams she was everything that he’d hoped for. It was well after sunrise, with both of them sleeping far later than they were used to, when the tiniest whimper of pain, pulled him from his dream into full wakefulness. He sat up all at once and a moment later he was on his feet.

Torin sprang over the back of the couch, his feet hardly touching the ground as he sprinted to her door, barely knocking as he announced himself, beginning to explain that he’d heard a sound and was coming in to check on her. As he said the words the doorknob was already turning in his hand, his shoulder pushing against the door as if he expected to find resistance on the other side. He didn’t though. The door swung open easily, revealing Briar taking ragged, pained breaths, her hands gripping the covers, much as they had on the previous day, only this time she was in pain, tears rolling down her cheeks.

He was at her side in a moment, his hand pushing back the hair from her forehead, which was already drenched with sweat.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“You don’t have to-” her words were cut off by as gasp as her back arched beneath the heavy duvet that covered nearly all of her body except for her face and neck and hands.

“Please let me help you, Wolfling. Fuck. I can’t stand to see you hurt. Please.” He was so close to her now that her scent was intoxicating. Even if it weren’t for their situation he would want her. He just didn’t want her to know that because it would give her false hope that they could be together.

“You don’t even like me. You shouldn’t have to.” Her voice trailed off again.

“That’s not true. Damn it. Wolfling. If you knew how hard you make me. How much I want you.” Her eyes, which had been closed as she concentrated on her breathing, opened as she met his gaze. “I’m just not good enough for someone like you. Someone so perfect. But please. Don’t make me watch you in pain when I can help. Don’t go through this alone when I can take it away doing something I would happily do.” He reached out and touched her hand, rubbing lightly across her knuckles.

Her eyelids fluttered shut and for a moment he was afraid she’d fainted again, but then he heard her voice ever so faintly as she whispered his name. “Torin. Yes. Please. Yes. I want you. Whatever you’ll give me of yourself. I want all of you. Or whatever I can have.”

He was only wearing a pair of basketball shorts this time, as he pulled the duvet back, suddenly wishing that he was wearing quite a bit more. He needed layers between himself and the temptation before him, as he realized that Briar had been sleeping entirely naked beneath the sheets on the bed.

He didn’t waste a moment this time, knowing that she had already been in agony for a longer period of time than on the previous day, and he had no idea if that meant it would take longer to get her pain back under control.

Pushing her legs apart he sank down between her thighs, inhaling her intoxicating scent. Staring up at her, trying to ignore the voice in his head that wished this wasn’t just happening because of the circumstances with her mate, he ran his tongue up the smooth seam between her lower lips, noticing the way her body seemed to relax and to calm, almost at once. It was fast, he thought, if this was a sign that the pain was slipping away from her body.

That thought didn’t last long though, as his mind was almost entirely consumed by Briar and the way she tasted, moved, and especially the incredible sounds that she made, as he slipped first one and then a second finger inside of her tight wet slit. She let tiny moans and gasps slip from between her lips as his tongue continued to explore what made her feel good, bringing her close to the edge and then easing off, before ramping up the pressure again until she was bucking against his face, her fingers coming down to tangle in his short, dark hair.

“Fuck. Torin. Please.” It was the first time she’d managed to put together coherent words and he thought that he knew what she wanted. He knew she was close to the edge and with a few flicks of the tongue he could send her plummeting over to the other side. But it would sound so fucking good to hear her beg, especially after hearing her moan his name. He had absolutely no doubt that he was going to be hearing that sound in his dreams for years to come.

“What do you want, Wolfling?” He barely lifted his head long enough to say the words, before sucking her clit into his mouth, while keeping his eyes raised up and on her.

“You. Please. I want you inside me. Fucking me.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper and she sounded so breathless and sexy, offering herself up to him that it took every bit of self control in his entire body not to take her up on the incredibly enticing offer. He felt his Beast surge forward, pushing at the last strands of self control, and fuck if he didn’t want to let go and let that other part of himself take over. But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t protect her, not long term. And he sure as Hell couldn’t keep her. And that was why he had to draw hard lines, he reminded himself for the twentieth time since she’d arrived. Torin knew that he couldn’t take something as precious from her as her first time, not when they hardly knew each other and she would be gone soon anyways. She had to be gone soon. He’d make sure of it.

She moaned as he nipped her clit lightly, then lathed circles around it with his tongue, and then she was coming again, hard. He’d known that would set her off, and he worked with his tongue to lap up every last drop of her sweet necture as his fingers slipped free from her core, his thick arms wrapping tightly around her thighs as he buried his face between her legs. He waited for a moment, after he felt her body relax, to pull away, sitting back on his heels, as an awkward silence settled between them.

Torin’s couldn’t help himself, letting his eyes take in her gorgeous, slender body, as he reached for the duvet that was nearly falling off the bed from where he’d tossed it aside in his haste to get to her when he’d first come into the room and realized that she was suffering needlessly. Pulling the covers across her body he made sure that she was entirely covered and hidden from his eyes, not sure how much longer he could resist the temptation she was offering him if she asked him to take her again.

He wasn’t sure if he’d ever wanted anyone as much as he wanted this little wolf, but what he was certain of was that he’d never wanted something this much and denied himself having it. Especially not once he’d had a taste and the taste was so sweet he never wanted to taste anything else.

“Torin?” Her voice was hardly louder than a whisper, but it immediately captured his attention as he sank down on his knees next to the bed, his eyes focused on her face, taking in her rosy cheeks and mussed hair.

“Yes, Wolfling?” he was almost afraid to say the words because he didn’t trust his own voice not to betray his desire.

“Thank you, but also, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” He shook his head. If she only knew how much he wanted her she’d probably run out the door without looking back. He pushed the thought away, unwilling to indulge it for even a moment. And why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“That you have to do this for me. This situation is fucked. It’s just-” she turned her face

“Never think that. Yes, this situation is fucked, but not because anything we’re doing here. It’s fucked because of what that Alpha who pushed you away did. He made the biggest mistake of his life when he didn’t claim you the moment he realized you were his and then he compounded it when he let you be hurt by other members of his pack. He continues to make it worse by whatever it is he’s doing now. What we’re doing here to keep you from being in pain? I don’t regret a moment of it.”

He shook his head as his hand came up to cup her cheek, guiding her face towards him so that she had to look into his eyes.

“Wolfling.” His voice was rough with emotions he’d buried so deep that he hadn’t known he was still capable of feeling them. “I don’t know if I’m capable of telling you the whole story right now. And honestly you probably don’t need to hear it. You have enough of your own problems to deal with. You don’t need my baggage. But I had a mate once. And I wasn’t able to protect her.”

“I can’t take anything from you, even what you’re offering me. I don’t deserve it and it wouldn’t be fair to you, no matter how much I would love to sink into you and feel your body wrapped around mine.” His eyes closed for a moment and he realized he needed to cut off the direction the conversation was headed, because it certainly wasn’t helping anything and it was only pushing him closer to breaking his own rules.

“Helping you with-” his voice trailed off and he shook his head again- “with your problem isn’t a hardship for me. Believe me. I wish I could do more. But that wouldn’t be fair to you. So I’m going to walk out that door and find out when Ted is going to get here. Once you feel up to it, why don’t you take the first shower. I’ll shower again, after you, because the Goddess knows that I need it.”

His eyes traced her profile as she turned her face so she was staring up at the ceiling and closed her eyes. “Fine. That’s fine.”

He wanted to say something else, but even the Beast in his chest, who hadn’t wanted to be away from her since that first moment by the river, warned him that now wasn’t the time and that unless he was going to give in completely. He needed to give her space to process what he’d just blurted out. And so he stood and walked out, closing the door softly behind him, with a click that he felt through both his body and his mind.