SWNOVELS Savage Bonds: Chapter 13
Gabe doesn’t just beat the wolf in the ring.
He goes up against five different shifters, each of them worse than the last, and walks out without a scratch on him. The crowd is screaming and roaring for blood, and when he puts the last guy down, I get a little worried that they’re going to storm into the ring after him.
Well, I worry until I meet Kieran’s eyes on the other side of the room and realize that this isn’t just some underground fighting ring. There’s TacTeam guys in plain clothing everywhere, and they’re obviously not just here to keep an eye on us. No one in the crowd takes notice of him or his men, so clearly they’re here a lot.
Gabe walks over to me in his panther form, his feline body sleek and powerful as it parts the crowd without effort.
I’m not expecting him to shift back right there.
I’m also not expecting to be faced with him completely goddamned naked. Completely naked, his chest heaving as he catches his breath, and my traitorous eyes start to work their way down his very chiseled body. Do I want to tease myself with a look at his dick? Fuck, I don’t know if I can hold myself back. Brutus huffs under my ear at my racing heart, my hair flicking out a little, and I take a deep, gulping breath to get myself under control again.
Gabe chuckles at me, as he grabs his boxers out of my hands and pulls them on before I’ve made the decision of whether I’m looking or not.
“It won’t bite, Bond. I won’t either, unless you ask me to.”
I want to say something back, just to knock a little of that smug energy out of him, but I can’t. I have nothing left, and all I can croak out is, “Listen, you need to put pants on. The shorts are not enough.”
He chuckles at me, clearly still high on the adrenaline of the fight because he ducks down until we’re eye to eye. “Are you ready to beg, Bond? I think I’m ready to hear you.”
I hate him.
I don’t really, my eyes roll back into my head and there’s an insistent throb between my legs that doesn’t want to be ignored. “You’re an asshole. What part of ‘we can’t Bond’ are you struggling with here?”
He straightens up with a smirk and pulls his shirt over his head, shoving his arms through it in a very elaborate move that feels as though he’s teasing me because I swear I watch every goddamned muscle on him flex. The wolfish grin he shoots my way just proves to me that he knows exactly what he’s doing. I throw the jeans at him and he catches them with a roaring sort of laugh, and I refuse to look at him until he’s dressed.
He leads me back out of the warehouse, both of us ignoring all of the eyes on us as the crowd shifts out of our way. Kieran nods at Gabe as we pass him, but he doesn’t follow us out, proving my theory that they’re regulars here and not just attending to watch out for us.
I move to take his jacket off but he grabs the lapels and pulls it on tighter around me, zipping it up against the chill of the night. He threads our fingers together and leads me over to his bike, grabbing his keys out of his pocket with a smirk. “I can’t help it. Now that I know you want me as bad as I want you, it’s fucking addictive to watch you react. You do it so fucking well, Oli. I can smell how badly you want me. Do you think you can hold the Bond back if I eat you out on the back of my bike?”
He swings on as he speaks, an easy and practiced motion, and I can’t even think of a reply as I climb on after him. I’m glad there’s no one else around because I don’t even bother trying to cover up or be modest, I just hike my dress up and get on with it.
I tuck my body into his and my nipples are hard as they rub into the stiff leather of his jacket. Fuck, I end up squirming behind him, panting a little as I convince my bond to stay back and just let me have this tiny little moment with him.
Gabe groans, his legs tense as I grind into him, “Fuck, we should risk it. I need to know what you taste like—”
Nope, I can’t take any more.
I shove my hand over his mouth, pulling his head back a little with the force, and I can feel him smirk against my palm. He tilts his head back even further and after watching him fight so many times, it’s so obvious to me that he’s sitting here on this bike without a worry, flirting it up, and baring his throat to me.
It’s the most heady thing a man has ever done to me and I’m not even sure he’s aware of it.
I clear my throat and drop my hand away from his mouth, my fingers trailing down his neck absently because I don’t want to lose the connection with him, and I grasp at straws to change the subject away from how badly I want his lips on me. “So how many predators can you shift into, Bond? How many creatures with big teeth are you hiding under all that skin?”
He blows out a breath and gets his helmet on, buckling it up. “All of them. If it exists, I can shift into it.”
“So you can shift into anything? Anything?! Fuck, that’s exciting! Show me something else! Gah, that is so damn cool!”
He chuckles again and starts the engine, kicking the stand and taking off down the little winding road to get us back to the highway. It’s much nicer with his jacket on. and I let the cool air over my legs calm my libido down a little. As much as I enjoy the banter, I can’t take too much of it. Not when we have a whole night to get through, and I don’t want to wake up underneath him with a horny bond inside clawing at him.
Or do I?
Fuck, no, Oli. We don’t want that, no matter how good he seems to be with that mouth of his. I wonder if I can get away with touching myself in the shower before bed, just to take the edge off?
I haven’t tried it since I started sleeping at the manor. It felt weird to get off in North’s house knowing that my Bonds were sleeping under the same roof, and then since the Resistance took me, I’ve had Gabe and Atlas with me day and night.
Maybe I just need to release some of the tension myself and it’ll ease up some.
As we pull into the garage, I already know there’s no way that it would work, I’d just climb into bed with him afterwards and my bond would perk the hell up for round two.
Gabe kills the engine and tugs his helmet off. “What are you thinking about? You’ve been rubbing up against me the whole way home.”
Fuck. “I’ve been thinking about how long it’s been since I last got off and I might need to borrow your shower. Or lock myself in my bathroom for an hour before we go to bed.”
Apparently, that’s the wrong thing to say.
I forget sometimes that they’re all twice the size of me, fuck, or maybe even three times, and Gabe just tucks his hands under my ass to lift me up and off of the bike with him, my legs wrapping around his waist as he holds me against his back.
I squeak in outrage but he just laughs at me, jostling me up until he’s basically giving me a piggyback ride, and I dissolve into laughter at his antics.
“I’m not sharing you for the rest of the night, so you’re coming to my room. Bassinger gets you tomorrow and we both know he’s not going to let me within ten feet of you on his night, so if you’re going to get off in the shower, it’s happening in mine.”
I wrap my arms around his shoulders and just enjoy the ride, praying to all things good and holy that we don’t run into anyone on our way to his room. I also have no clue where his room is, so I can’t just duck my head and hide from everyone.
We get into the same elevator that we usually do to get to my room but he hits the button for the second floor. I bury my face in his neck and take in a good lungful of his scent, the cold night air and just a tiny bit of the fights still clinging to him, and when my eyes fall open again, I meet Nox’s eyes down the hallway right as the doors close.
Just once I’d like to see him without him sneering at me because it deflates my good mood so freaking fast.
“Ignore him, Bond. He’ll… get over his shit eventually. Maybe.”
I scoff at him and wriggle to attempt to get down but his arms just tighten around my legs. “He won’t. I think the only part of Nox that will ever accept me is Brutus and, honestly, I’m okay with that.”
Gabe grunts as the doors open again and then he’s off down the hallway too freaking quickly because I’ve never been on this floor before, I don’t think, and when he takes two different turns, I know there’s no way I’m making it out of this place tonight in case of an emergency.
I really need to ask North for a map.
When we stop at a door, Gabe grabs his keys and unlocks it, pushing the door open and holding out a hand for me to go in first. It’s all very gentlemanly and sweet considering the dirty mouth on him all night.
The room looks exactly how I’d expect Gabe’s room to look. A ton of football and sports shit everywhere, the bed primly made because obviously one of the maids has been in here, and the closet is overflowing with his clothes. There’s a huge TV on the wall and a gaming console under it, shoes everywhere, and it’s clear this place has been sort of a dropping ground for him.
“I probably should have cleaned before you got here,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck, and I shrug at him with a scoff.
I flop back on his bed without a thought. “What do I care about spotless rooms? Mine has been a mess of boys and pillows and bullshit for weeks.”
He chuckles and drops down over me, propped up on his arms to kiss my cheek before he pushes back up and heads to the bathroom to wash up.
The second the shower cuts on, all I can think about is him in there, naked and soapy. Is he going to jerk off in there? Is he just as pent up as I am, is he thinking about me in this dress or the tiny thong that he kept getting flashed? God, I want him so fucking badly.
I start thinking about homework.
I think about the whispers of monsters and bombs in stadiums and people being taken. I think about the Resistance and what they do to people and, just for good measure, I think about my parents.
My libido finally calms the fuck down.
He comes out in a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, climbing up onto the bed next to me and tucking me into his arms without hesitation. I sigh as I melt into his embrace, happy that he’s so much more relaxed than Gryphon was and actually wants me in here.
It’s quiet for a minute as we soak each other up and then Gabe drawls, “You owe me something, Bond.”
I let out a sigh, I’ve been waiting for this. I’m surprised he didn’t ask the moment we got to the warehouse, payment in advance, and it warms something in my chest that he trusts me to honor our agreement.
I let my eyes slip shut and listen to the strong sound of his heartbeat as I muster up the words. I’d thought a lot about what I’m going to tell him, whether to go with a safe option or the worst possible thing, and I’d decided that I’d have to give him something bad.
Something like a warning.
“My parents moved a lot because of me. I didn’t realize at the time but it makes a lot of sense to me now. I was six the first time my gift came out and… one of the boys in our neighborhood was an absolute shit to me. He was always picking on me, pulling my hair and taking my bag from me on our way to school. My dad told me to stick up for myself and to tell them if I needed help with it, but I was always such a headstrong kid.”
Gabe’s hands run up and down my back, a soothing motion, and he doesn’t try to hum along or interrupt, thank God. I don’t know if I’d be able to say it if he did.
“He shoved me at school in the playground. There was a sharp rock on the ground and I cut my hand open. My gift came out and hit him full force. I didn’t slowly come into what I can do. I got all three gifts in a rush and he was on the ground, brain-dead but writhing, before I had the chance to even stand up. He was just a little kid, just an asshole who didn’t know how to talk about emotions because… well, he was six. Now he’s dead. My gift slowly ate away at his brain until his parents eventually turned his life support off when he was twelve. You guys might not be monsters but… well, I am.”
I don’t like talking about it. I don’t like talking about any of the times I’ve used my gift, even the times I’m sure the person deserved it, but talking about Lucas is in my top three ’nope’ topics.
Right up there with my parents’ accident.
“I almost killed Gryphon the first time I shifted.”
My heart stutters in my chest and I lift my head to look at him. He swallows as he meets my eye, hesitant, and it takes me a second to realize he’s worried that I’m going to be angry at him.
I just told him I caused a six-year-old to die a slow and painful death, and he’s worried about pissing me off.
“I was late with my gift, mostly because I had a great childhood and my parents were extra protective of me. My mom was the Central to my dad and her other Bonded, but John died in the Riots before I was born, so my parents wrapped me up in cotton wool. I didn’t have my first shift until you disappeared.”
Oh God. I rest my head back down on his chest and rub circles into his arm, just a little soothing motion to show him I’m here, listening and not judging him for any of this.
How could I?
“My dad was already so freaked out by me being in the Draven Bond, we’d gotten the news only the day before, and then when Gryphon came to tell us you were gone, I just… lost it. I shifted and I had no idea what was going on. I didn’t understand how the shifted brain works, so I— fuck, I didn’t know what I was doing. When I finally shifted back, Gryphon was torn up. My dad healed him up as best he could but he was still scarred because of it. Fuck, my parents were furious at me. Furious that their only son was a shifter and in the most dangerous Bond. I was the worst kid to them and then… my dad died. I can’t remember when the last time I told him I loved him was because I was such a dick to him.”
I want to cry for him.
If anyone understands the type of pain and grief that comes from regrets about your parents, it’s me. Because of that, I know that there’s nothing I can say to him that will make this better, nothing that can heal these types of wounds, and I tuck my face into his neck and hold him instead. We just lie there, wrapped up in each other without any judgement because who else can understand your ugly moments other than your Bond? The person destined to love you no matter what and for the first time… I maybe think about believing it. Believing that he might love all of the broken, monstrous, terrifying parts of me.
We fall asleep with the TV on, tangled up in each other, his face so close to mine that I can feel him like an ache in my chest.
I sleep like the dead, my bond satisfied that he’s mine.
THE ONLY THING more torturous than waking up with a man wrapped around you that you’re pretty sure can barely tolerate you?
Waking up on top of a man you’re on your way to being in love with, one of his hands clutching at your hip while the other curves around your ass to pull you in tighter. Your face pressed into his chest, his thigh pressing between yours, and his dick hard against your belly.
I never want to move.
“You’re going to be late,” Gabe mumbles into my hair when my alarm goes off for the third time, but I really just don’t care.
When I tell Gabe that, he chuckles and kisses the top of my head. “You say that now, but Gryphon is a fucking nightmare if he thinks you’re slacking off.”
I groan as I pull away from him, my bond keening the loss of all of his warmth. “I’m not sure he could get any harsher on me. Jesus, I might die if he does.”
Gabe smiles and stretches out but doesn’t move from the pillows. “Better get that pretty ass of yours going then, Bond.”
I hate him.
Well, I don’t but honestly, I’d risk death to stay in this bed with him but it’s not meant to be. By the time I’m heading out of his room, Gabe is fast asleep again. Thankfully, I find a maid cleaning some windows who gets me to the elevator and then I can get down to the gym safely by myself from there. I have to push myself to get there in time and I get to the doors at the same time as Gryphon does.
He comes from the opposite direction than I did though, and thank God my bond is docile and content in my chest because a very small and quiet corner of my brain wonders where he’s been all night if it’s five in the morning and he’s coming from the other side of the neighborhood.
He glances over at me and his eyes flick up and down my body quickly before he looks away and curses. I glance down but I’m just wearing shorts and one of Gabe’s tanks, the same as yesterday. My stomach drops once again. I hate feeling like this, goddammit.
“How are you feeling today? Is your bond under control?” Gryphon says as he gets the door open and starts opening the gym up.
I follow him, dropping my keys and phone onto the floor by the mats and sitting down to get straight into stretching. “I’m fine. North’s plan is working wonders, I have it all under control. I’ll have to thank him.”
I refuse to look like a brat. I’ll choke on those thank you’s but I’ll get them out, even if it kills me.
He nods slowly, his head ducked, and he grabs a couple of bottles of water out of the mini fridge for us both. “Go through the stances again for me, we’ll just do the same as yesterday.”
He’s acting weird, but my stomach is still in knots, so I just get straight into the training as though everything is fine. Fake it until I make it, it’s an old but effective strategy that I’m sure would’ve worked if he could just do the same.
He doesn’t.
We move on to sparring and I’m better already, quick at picking these things up now that I’m focused on doing well. It’s amazing how things go when you’re desperate not to look incompetent or lazy to your trainer.
When he throws me onto the mats for the hundredth time and knocks the air out of me, I think about dying here, just giving in and letting myself just expire. He stands over me and offers me a hand to help me up off of my ass, but he’s still acting skittish and weird. It makes me feel awkward.
Because death isn’t actually an option, I make myself face him and ask, “If something has happened can you just… tell me? I’d rather not deal with you acting strangely.”
That gets him looking right at me. The scar over his eye stands out more to me today, mostly because I know the story behind it now. He’s lucky he didn’t lose his eye, and I send up a silent thank you to Gabe’s dad for that.
Even if he did think my Bonds are monsters.
“It’s nothing,” he says and when I roll my eyes at him, he shrugs. “You look better. I was just shocked at how much better you look.”
Oh, wow. Wow.
He’s so freaking good at finding the perfect place to stick a knife in my gut and twist. I drop my hands and nod at him, pulling a face, but I can’t hold back the sarcastic reply any longer, “Jeez, thanks! Am I anywhere close to your standards yet, or should I just expect to be treated like a second class citizen for the rest of time? You know what, you should laugh in my face again, that’s what this situation needs!”
I glance up at the clock. We still have ten minutes left, but there’s no way I’m going to just stand around for this shit. I bend down and grab my water bottle to finish it off and grab my things to get out of here. The run back should clear my head enough not to ruin everyone I run into today.
Fucking Bonds!
Gryphon catches my elbow and spins me around, pulling me into his chest with a scowl. “What the fuck are you talking about? I’m saying that you looked frazzled, tired, and completely fucking lifeless for weeks. We’ve been worried you were about to either drop dead or go off like Unser.”
Okay, seriously, who the fuck is Unser?
Fuck, focus, Oli!
“I’m going home. I might be ready and willing to learn all about how to defend myself, but I’m not going to just stand around taking this shit from you. I’m done for today.”
I try to pull my elbow away from him but he doesn’t let me go. When I take a step back, he sweeps my feet out from underneath me, taking me back down to the mats with his body pressing back into mine. We’ve done it enough that I go down and land it correctly so it doesn’t hurt at all, but I’m spitting mad at him for pulling it on me.
It doesn’t matter, though, because I once again can’t move with him pinning me.
“Just once, I’d like to be able to speak to you without having to do this to you,” he snaps, and even my bond gets pissed at that.
“I’m so fucking sorry that you have to be near me!”
He moves so he’s only using one hand to pin mine above my head, grabbing my chin with the other one. “Can you make your mind up, because I don’t know if you’re worried about me wanting to fuck you or me not wanting you at all! I can’t keep up.”
I hate him.
This close to him, with his eyes bright on mine as his power kicks in, I want to scream at him for using it right now.
I chose my words carefully. “Wanting power from me and wanting me are two very different things. I already know which one you want, so don’t start with your mind-game bullshit.”
He leans forward and whispers against my lips, “You know nothing, Bond. You don’t stick around long enough to know a goddamned thing. The moment anything gets real here, you run off, and that has nothing to do with what I want. You could just ask me.”
I take a second to thank the universe for letting me be out of the bond haze for this conversation because I would’ve burst into tears a week ago over this. Ask him? Why the hell would I ask him something like that when he’s made himself very clear on the subject.
He shakes his head at me slowly. “That’s not the girl who ran right into the Resistance’s arms after her friend. Where’s your backbone gone?”
Red flag waving right at me, I unclench my jaw to spit out, “Why did you laugh at me? Why is it so fucking funny that I would want you while my bond was out of control? Why—”
He cuts me off with his lips.
On mine.
And my bond explodes out of my chest towards him, wrapping us up together. He grunts at the force of it but doesn’t stop kissing me, his lips insistent on mine. I gasp at the sensation of us being wrapped up in each other and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue stroking mine as his hand tightens over my wrist.
When he breaks away from me he murmurs, “I don’t give a fuck about having more power. I don’t give a fuck about what other people might want or think of our Bond group. I laughed because I spent weeks in your bed, trying to convince myself that I could be patient and wait for you to be ready, and it felt good to know that maybe you were struggling with it too. I laughed because you came here and acted as though you were above us all, and yet you were barely keeping it together around me. I didn’t know how badly you were struggling. I would’ve never taken that situation lightly.”
I swallow roughly, but when my eyes flick back down to his lips, he pushes up and away from me. “I have limits too, you know. If you don’t want to Bond, then you need to get out of here.”