SWNOVELS Savage Bonds: Chapter 11
“Why can’t I sleep in my bed and you all take turns to sleep there too? Why do I have to go to you?”
This is not my biggest concern, but it’s the only one I can voice right now with all of them staring at me with varying levels of disdain and contempt.
Okay, so that’s mostly Nox, but still, it makes it hard to even speak.
North gets back to eating his dinner as though he’s not ruining my entire life, speaking in his usual clipped tone, “Gabe said you’ve needed a lot of scents, clothes that have been heavily worn are preferred, so sleeping in our beds makes more sense. Maybe once your bond has settled, we can revisit that idea but for now, this is what we’ll do.”
Right.
North Draven, the Councilman, has spoken so of course that’s just how it’ll be. I’ve had such a good grip on my bond all day and now I can feel it straining against me at the gall of this man. I can’t let it out though, no matter how much he deserves it.
I also can’t trust my bond to attempt to punish him with more pawing at his delicious skin, so it’s really, really off the table.
Silence takes over the room again while they all eat and I mope about not being able to do a freaking thing about this stupid situation. My hand rubs over the little raised scar on the back of my neck again, an unconscious movement that I do every time I want to run.
Nox is the first one to break the silence and I’m not expecting the perfectly sedate tone of his voice or the topic at all. “Any leads on the bomb?”
North grimaces into his plate and shakes his head. “The Resistance have sent out scouts again. The bomb was a distraction, it wasn’t a real attempt to take us out.”
A shiver runs down my spine and Atlas’ hand finds mine under the table. There’s no way I can eat now, no way I can choke down the perfectly cooked lobster, no matter how delicious it is.
Gryphon shrugs at them both. “They wouldn’t have been mad if it had killed half the community though. It was powerful enough to destroy the stadium, they weren’t pulling punches.”
I slump back in my seat and pull out my phone to text Sage, anything to block them all out and get some distance from the conversation, and Atlas’ hand moves to rest over my knee. He squeezes my leg gently as he eats but doesn’t try to talk to me about why I suddenly look as though I want to vomit.
It’s sweet of him.
Gryphon leaves the table as soon as he’s finished eating, his phone glued to his ear as he barks out orders to his team about surveillance rounds. Nox takes a little longer to eat, drinking his entire way through the meal, and when he leaves, Brutus rumbles under my ear in a little whine.
Gabe leans down to kiss my cheek softly, the barest hint of his lips against my skin, before he heads out. He’d warned me that he was popping back to his house to check in with his mom. I feel awkward about it because I haven’t met the woman, or know anything about her really, but he also doesn’t seem to want us to meet yet.
I try not to think too much about it.
Atlas finishes his plate and pushes it away from himself but doesn’t make any attempt to get up. He’s waiting for me to speak to North, and while I know that’s what he’s doing, it doesn’t make it any easier to force the words out of myself.
Deep breath, Oli.
“So where am I sleeping tonight then? Who drew the short straw?” I can’t even attempt to hide the sarcasm dripping from my words and North pegs me with a look that has my insides squirming.
“Gryphon. He’s the only one you didn’t get contact with last night, so we thought you should start there. Gabe knows where his room is, you can go and study in your own room until you’re ready to sleep.”
How kind of him to grant me permission. I want to kick him in the teeth! Instead I turn on my heel and stomp back to my room to, very begrudgingly, do exactly that. It feels ridiculous that it can’t just happen in my own bed, and I’m suspicious that the reason it’s not has a lot more to do with convincing Nox to go along with this than anything else.
Atlas helps me with my history assignment and then works through our plan for the maze in TT. We know we’re going to be thrown in there again soon, and we’ve been talking about how to get to the center first for weeks. Gabe joins us when he gets back from seeing his mom, somber and looking a little pissed.
He’s just as eager to win the maze as we are.
At ten, I have to concede defeat and ask Gabe to walk me over to Gryphon’s room because I have to be up at four the next morning for my training session. Skipping today was fine because my bond needed it but there’s no way Gryphon will accept me flaking out again.
Especially if the reason is that I want to become an insomniac to avoid ever going to bed with any of them.
“At least it’s Gryphon first, you’ve already slept with him before, right?” Gabe murmurs when we step into the elevator.
My cheeks heat at his choice of words and the reminder that my entire dorm had seen him mostly naked and assumed we’d spent the night fucking like bunnies.
If only.
“It’s more about the fact that none of them actually want me in their beds and that I’m invading their space because my bond can’t calm the fuck down around you guys for a second and let me breathe,” I grumble and he huffs at me, smirking and shaking his head.
He leads me back down to the ground floor and through the house until we’re at the very back, as far away from my room as possible I think. There’s a large glass wall with a view of the back garden I didn’t know existed, and I take a second to stare out at the landscaping.
It’s really beautiful.
Gabe watches me for a second and then murmurs quietly, “I don’t think you have to worry about whether any of us want you in our beds, Oli, and I’m not talking about sex. Just… just relax and get some sleep. Gryphon won’t bite.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to reply, he just raps his knuckles against the door and takes off back down the hallway. I make an annoyed noise at him and he glances over his shoulder to grin at me.
Asshole.
The door pops open and I’m confronted with the sight of Gryphon in nothing but his boxer shorts again. I’ve seen it all before but, God, it doesn’t get any less breathtaking. He’s muscled from head to toe, all of his tanned and solid frame just freaking glorious to look at, and my bond gets all sorts of giggly inside of me.
Down girl.
We’re just sleeping, dammit!
I’m staring, but he just stares right back at me with an eyebrow raised. “You’re planning on wearing all of that to bed?”
I glance down at the sweatshirt and sweatpants I’m in and shrug. “Does it matter? It’s six hours, I’m sure I’ll survive it.”
He shakes his head at me and steps aside for me to enter. He was obviously already in bed, one side clearly slept in, and there’s only a lamp on. The room is less luxurious than mine, but more homey than North’s minimalist one. There’s a handmade quilt on the bed, old and worn, but well taken care of, and a line of boots against the closet wall. One of the chairs has his jacket and a variety of weapons slung over it and his bedside table has a gun and a knife sheathed there too.
There’s also a family photo on the dresser and I try not to stare at the younger, happier version of Gryphon grinning there with his father’s arms around him. His sister is there too, both of them teenagers, and she’s a mirror image of him. It takes me a second to realize that he’s not scarred in the photo, his hair is shorter and his eyes are less… guarded.
He’s truly happy there.
“Are we sleeping or are we snooping?” he growls at me, and I startle away from the photo. I walk over to the other side of the bed, the side that’s still perfectly made up, and slip under the blankets.
When Gryphon gets in on the other side, he turns the light off and stays on his own side. The cold shoulder he’s giving me is freaking frigid.
Thank God it’s dark and he can’t actually see how red my face is with embarrassment. I’d told Gabe, I knew it would be like this!
It takes me an hour of thrashing around before I finally pass out.
I WAKE before the alarm because my body is now on the right time schedule for our training sessions. Gryphon’s body is hot and hard against mine in the bed, his leg pushed between mine and his face buried into my neck as if he needs my scent as badly as I need his.
It hurts.
My chest aches with the cruelty of this situation because he went to sleep as far away from me as the mattress would let him be last night and yet in our sleep, thanks to the bonds inside us, we’ve wound up tangled in each other again.
I want to scream and destroy something, and for the first time in weeks, it has nothing to do with the bond haze.
I carefully untangle myself from him and pad quietly over to the bathroom to pee and get ready for the hard morning of training ahead of me. Brutus is extra attentive, coming out of my hair and padding around the bathroom with me as he watches my every move. It’s calming to have him there, his big void-eyes seeing everything and nothing all at once, and by the time I’m dressed and ready to head out, my head is clear again.
I don’t care if they all hate me.
Gryphon is awake and dressed, sitting on the edge of the bed as I come out of the bathroom. He barely acknowledges me as he takes his turn in there and I get my music lined up on my phone for the morning run. Atlas had loaned me his headphones to run with each morning and it has made the entire experience bearable.
When Gryphon walks out of the bathroom, he doesn’t wait for me or speak to me, he just walks to the door like he’s expecting me to follow and because I have no other choice, I do.
Since his bedroom is on the bottom floor, it’s a little easier for me to memorize the way to the front door and out of the manor. The early morning air is colder than it has been for weeks, my lungs burning at the chill and my fingers going numb almost straight away, but there’s no point complaining about it, so I just duck my head and get to it.
Gryphon sets the pace and it’s brutal.
I’m not sure what I could’ve possibly done this time to piss him off— I’m here, aren’t I?— but by the time we arrive at the gym, I’m barely holding myself back from vomiting. I haven’t felt this way in months, like all of the hard work to get my fitness level up has been for nothing because he just ran me into the ground in one go.
He’s also barely breathing hard.
I hate him.
“Take five to stretch out and then we’re sparring,” he says without even looking at me, getting the gym opened up and all of the lights on while I melt into a puddle on the mats.
I strip out of the sweater I’m wearing so I’m down to just one of Gabe’s tank tops and my running shorts, and then I get to stretching out my muscles, as though it’ll help me survive this. I already know it won’t and my already-fragile and bruised ego is about to be blown apart by all of his critiques.
Still, I keep my mouth shut.
He strips down to his own tank and shorts and then brings me over a bottle of water. He’s never done that before, and I take it with a slight nod of my head in thanks.
It hurts to admit how much this all sucks for me.
“I always thought North was harsh on you for calling you a brat but you really are acting like one right now.”
I choke on my water, spluttering it all over myself like an idiot. “Ex-excuse me? How am I acting like a brat right now? I haven’t complained once!”
He tilts his head like he’s agreeing that I have a point there but plows on. “You needed something and we’ve given it to you. Instead of being grateful that North is bending over backwards to help you avoid the Bonding, you’re sulking about it.”
I literally can’t find words to answer him.
I have nothing.
So instead, I put the cap back on the water and stand up, shaking out my legs and moving through the stances he’s shown me for his approval. He stays where he is, crouched on the mats in front of me, and I only move on to the next stance when he’s satisfied with how the last one looks.
I do a lot of controlled breathing and meditation techniques to clear my head. Without the bond haze or frenzy fogging me up, it’s easy to do, thank God, and by the time he stands up and moves into position to spar with me, I’m calm again.
He spends the next hour throwing me around the mats.
I learn how to fall like a fighter, how to soften the blows myself and roll to my own advantage. I learn how to carry my weight correctly and how to use momentum against my opponent. I learn how to fight even when I’ve been bested, how to keep fighting even when a man three times my size has me on the ground.
And then, once I’m exhausted and all types of beaten, Gryphon decides to prove a damn point because he really doesn’t know how to quit when I’m down.
His body slams into mine and takes me down onto the mats, my arms pinned above my head and his legs hooking around mine so there’s no way I can move or gain control of the situation at all.
I grunt and try to move but it’s no use, he’s got me completely at his mercy.
I don’t like it one bit.
“I’ll tell you everything about my gift, everything about all of our gifts, if you answer a question of mine first.”
I struggle again but he’s like a brick wall that’s landed on me, immovable and impossible to reason with. “I already know what you’re going to ask, the answer is no.”
He scoffs and shakes his head. “I doubt it, Bond. Tell me why being called a brat hurts you so much? What am I not seeing here that’s pissing you off so much?”
My stomach sinks and my cheeks burn, but maybe it’s a good thing, maybe I’ll be able to let out some of the frustration and fury over the way that they all choose to see me.
I suck in a deep breath and then just let it all out. “Maybe it’s because I’m trying my best here. Maybe it’s because I’ve done everything, everything, that North has demanded of me and not once have any of you acknowledged that. Hell, he wouldn’t even stop to let me grab fucking Midol! I’m here every morning without complaint. I went to TT without complaint. I go to Bond dinners and classes and council dinners and Nox’s stupid classes without even being given a choice. I know you all hate me for what’s happened, I know it, so when I was having trouble with my bond, I didn’t want to bother any of you with it—“
“Lie. That was a lie,” he interrupts and his eyes are ringed in white, not enough that I can be completely sure he’s using his gift, but it’s definitely something.
Hell, I hope he knocks me out and I don’t have to listen to this anymore.
I shrug. “I didn’t want to bother you and I also didn’t want to deal with the absolute shame and mind games of you telling me to get over it… because why would you help me? All of the things that you’ve helped me with so far have been about control, why would you find a non-Bonding solution for my problem?”
“We did though, didn’t we? North spent the entire day grilling Gabe and Bassinger about all of the effects of your bond haze and what things they’d tried until he found something. You’re acting like we’re selfish fucking rapists, when that’s the farthest from the truth, Bond.”
He pushes up onto his arms so he’s holding himself over me and while the bottom half of me is still pinned to the mats, I can shrug at him. “Well, that’s not true either, is it? If we’re talking here honestly, then Nox has already shown me how much my boundaries mean to him, why should I believe you or North are any different?”
His eyes shutter and I almost regret saying anything about it but, fuck it, it’s the truth. Just because I had some choice in the situation, more than Atlas believes anyway, it doesn’t mean that Nox is absolved of what happened.
I can’t trust any of them.
“If I wanted to force the Bond with you, I could’ve done it a hundred times by now. I slept in your bed in the dorms for weeks. I’ve trained you here every morning for months, there’s no one to stop me. No matter how hard it was to knock you out, I still managed to do it. I could have you unconscious in an instant now, and what’s to stop me? Maybe it’s the fact that I’m not a fucking monster.”
He spits the word at me, and Brutus decides that he doesn’t appreciate the tone of this conversation and pokes his head out to growl soundlessly at Gryphon.
He doesn’t freak out at the sight of him, his eyes just flick down and take note of the fact that Nox’s creature still hasn’t left my side. I glance down at him, going just a little cross-eyed to see him, and jerk my head back to get him to hide again. We’re slowly getting to know each other well enough that I don’t need to speak to him to get him to understand what I need.
If Nox takes him off of me, I might lose my mind.
I love Brutus more than I should.
Gryphon rolls away from me and onto his feet in a swift, smooth motion that is freaking enviable with how easy he makes it look. I have to scramble to my feet like an uncoordinated idiot, huffing and red-faced.
I wait for him to go again but instead, he grabs a bottle of water, gulping it down and then handing it over to me. Mine is long gone, drained in the first ten minutes, so I take it with a murmured thank you and finish it off.
“I’m not a healer. Gabe said that’s what you’d guessed. I wasn’t healing you, or him, I was stopping you both from feeling pain. There isn’t much in your brain that I can’t manipulate. I can knock you out, take over your thoughts, stop your motor functions… erase your memories. Most Neuros have one specialty, but I’ve never found a part of the brain that I can’t mess with.”
Huh. “Vivian said you’re a great TacTeam leader in spite of not having a physical gift— I don’t think you’re really at a disadvantage.”
He shrugs and props his hands on his hips, glancing around the room. “That’s my primary. My incidental is something else.”
I meet his eye, waving a hand to get him to get on with it when he doesn’t just spit it out.
He huffs out a breath and then meets my eye. “I know when you lie. I can tell when anyone is lying or omitting the truth to me.”
My immediate reaction is disbelief, my face screwing up at him as I’m about to call him out for his bullshit, but then I actually think about it.
North always looks to him for confirmation.
Nox doesn’t question him.
Gabe had said to me, ‘Only a pro knows how to get past Gryphon like that.’
Mother. Fucker.
I throw my hands up in the air and splutter like an idiot, “Fuck. Perfect, so you can just manipulate every conversation we’ve ever had because you can ask me leading questions and find out everything you want? Great. Perfect. I’m going back to the Draven’s manor now, to the room I was assigned, to go to the college I’ve been forced into, and to attend the classes that were picked for me. I’ll just go and live the exact life that you’ve all chosen for me and eventually, we’ll all die because of it.”
His eyes narrow at me as I stalk towards the door and he follows me. “I can tell you believe that, but it makes no sense. I can feel how much power you have, gauge it a little at least, but why does that mean we’re all dead? Why did the Resistance know you? I’ve been going back through intel from the last five years but there’s no sign of them taking you, so when did you run into them?”
Jesus.
They really have been doing their research about me, haven’t they? It makes me panic a little, but if they haven’t come across anything so far, I doubt there’s any proof of what happened. I’m not surprised the Resistance has been thorough in keeping all evidence of me under wraps.
“If you think I’m going to say another freaking word to you now that I know what you can do, you’re clearly insane. I’m leaving. I’m going to find a bathtub to drown in.”
He grabs my wrist to stop me from walking off while he locks up the gym, grabbing his phone to tap out a message before he shoves it back in his pocket.
I stay with him obediently, glancing around the neighborhood and at the early morning sun still making its way into the sky. Gryphon takes a deep breath and hands me my sweater. I forgot I’d even taken it off.
“Nox wouldn’t have… taken it any further than he did. I’m not making excuses, you two have to figure that shit out for yourselves, but I don’t want you panicking about being around him.”
I huff and answer bleakly, “You mean like sharing his bed on a regularly scheduled time slot? I can’t speak though. I guess we’re even now, right?”
Gryphon scowls. “Hardly, you barely even gave him a hug.”
I turn away from him to shove my sweater back over my body, trying to disguise my shaking hands. “Well he reacted like I was attacking him in the worst way, so forgive me for the miscommunication there.”
“He’s… got his own issues. Doesn’t excuse it, just means that North and I knew we had to get you off of him before his own bond stepped up to the plate. One of you in that state was hard enough, we couldn’t have handled two.”
I feel like him confirming that Nox has issues is like confirming the sky is blue or that the sun will rise in the morning. Obvious and sort of stupid to even say. I get my music lined up while he gets the gym locked up, but when I put my headphones in, Gryphon tugs them back out, pocketing them so that I can’t just shove them back into my ears to block him out.
When I open my mouth to argue, he cuts me off. “North and Nox’s dad had the nightmare creatures. He was strong, a Top Tier, but with only that gift. It still made him the most powerful Gifted alive.”
He starts to walk back, a much slower pace than earlier, and I can keep up with his long strides easily enough. I nod at him but just listen to what he has to say.
“North’s mom was an Elemental. No one expected their mixing to turn into what he has… it’s why he has so much influence in the community, because a man with three abilities, all of them Top Tier, is terrifying to them. He has the nightmare creatures, the same as Nox’s, just a little more… rabid. Then there’s his death touch. It’s self-explanatory. If he chooses to, he can kill anyone he touches.”
A cold drop of dread rolls down my spine. That feels a little too familiar, a little too close to home for me, but Gryphon doesn’t glance my way as he continues, “I don’t know which of his gifts are the primary and secondary because they’re both as strong as each other. His incidental is that he can find the cause of death. Again, through touch. It’s helpful and it’s still more power than most people get with their primary.”
He looks out at the quiet street, waving a hand at a neighbor who is getting into his car but too far away to hear our conversation. I glance over, but there’s too much going on here for me to take too much notice of details.
“Nox’s mom was a Neuro like me. She could manipulate the limbic system, basically she was all about forcing emotions onto people. A powerful weapon, if wielded correctly. Nox has the nightmares, the dread, and he’s still figuring out the mechanics of his incidental. The last time he spoke about it, I’m pretty sure he was close to figuring it out, but then we found you and he has barely spoken to any of us since.”
I clear my throat. “What exactly is ‘the dread’?”
Gryphon cracks his knuckles idly. “Have you ever felt so bad that you’ve hallucinated? Seen things in the dark that weren’t there, just because your brain is working against you? It’s a bit like that.”
Jesus fucking Christ. The monster moniker is making a little more sense now. Not that I think that of either of them, but powerful Gifted are already enough to make people nervous and with the flavor of power they have?
Terrifying.
“Gabe is going to show you his gift. He’s already gotten your pass for the night to go check it out. You probably already know about the Bassingers and their powers, we’ve seen what Atlas has going on during TT. There are… a lot of reasons our Bond group makes people nervous. A powerful Gifted is one thing, six though? Six who will grow and share power, work together and form a family? The council is already putting a lot of pressure on North about it. Trying to find ways to neutralize us without just coming out and saying that’s what they’re doing.”
My heart starts to thump wildly in my chest at the very thought of it.
When we get to the bottom of the driveway, Gryphon stops and looks up at the manor. He rubs at his chin for a second, his face more serious than I’ve ever seen it, which is saying something because he’s usually the silent and grumpy type.
“Then there’s you. So much power that the Resistance said it was ‘leaking out of you’ even when you were hiding it. That’s what the students who were taken with you said. If we can’t all figure out how to get along and make peace, then things are going to get a lot worse for us all.”