SWNOVELS Sasha: Chapter 63
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The steady beeps of the machine was the only thing that kept me sane.
Branka had been out for two days. Each second stretched like a lifetime. I didn’t know how much longer I’d last. I was slowly losing my mind. If I lost her, I knew all bets would be off. I wouldn’t survive. Without her, there was no life for me. I’d follow her in death.
Alessio wanted to take her back to Canada. I forbade it. It was too risky. After Branka lost consciousness, an explosion shook the entire parking lot. Maxim had been planning this shit all along. I was a fucking idiot to ever rely on him.
We fell right into his hands. An eye for an eye.
The fucker held a grudge against Branka and me for seven fucking years. He let it fester for a long time. And I was oblivious to it all because I’d lowered my guard. It was all my fault.
“It’s not your fault,” Alexei said, his voice raspy. His hand came to my shoulder, then squeezed in comfort. That alone was enough to send me into a panic. I could count on one hand how many times Alexei touched a human being. His wife excluded.
Except, it was my fault. I was so far up my own ass that I missed Maxim’s signs. He blamed me for his woman’s death. He didn’t have a stomach to kill Branka so I was the next best thing.
While I held Branka, begging her to hang on to the promises of our life together, Alessio and Vasili went after him. It took them ten minutes to locate him. He was still hassling with the sniper gun, figuring out how to disassemble it. I guess he didn’t think it through past that point. He cried like a baby. It was for naught. They emptied a round of bullets into Maxim’s skull to ensure there was no risk of him coming back.
And all the while, I was lost. Useless. I couldn’t move, gripping Branka’s body in my arms. Alexei had my back and kept Alessio’s family secured.
The drive to the hospital was a fucking blur. All I remember was Branka’s blood. Too much of it. But it was her deathly pale face that tore at my chest.
“You should go and change,” Vasili attempted. I hadn’t left her side, gripping her hand in mine. Even during the surgery, I refused to leave her side. It would have never worked in the States but here in Russia, all I had to do was point my gun at them and throw them some money.
Neither Alessio nor Vasili were happy about that. Well, fuck them.
It wasn’t their woman bleeding in their arms. It was mine.
“Why isn’t she awake?” I rasped, my voice hoarse. I hadn’t spoken a word today. “She should be awake by now.”
“We should have flown her back to Canada,” Alessio hissed. “They have better doctor’s there.”
“The doctors here are just fine,” I barked. “One of the best in the world. And Isabella was part of the team working on Branka.”
Of course, I had to point a gun at the nurse and throw a few million dollars at the head surgeon and the hospital. It was well worth it because there was nobody I trusted more than my sister-in-law. After all, she patched me up a few times as well.
“Are you fucking with me?” Alessio roared. “This building looks like it’s a leftover from World War II.”
“Well, Isabella is not part of World War II,” I remarked tiredly.
Branka’s brother looked like a wreck too. But that didn’t fucking concern me. Only his sister. I needed her. I didn’t need him.
“Jesus Christ, I can’t deal with you as my brother-in-law,” Alessio growled. “It’s just too fucking much. This shithole is falling apart.”
“I didn’t know you were big on fancy architecture,” I spat out.
“You know what I’m not big on?” he snapped back. “On you with my sister. She’s in that hospital bed because of you.”
The guilt slashed through me. He was right. I failed her. I should have protected her.
“Both of you stop it,” Autumn demanded, her voice a soft hiss. “Branka is alive, and the last thing she’d want is you bickering like two old ladies.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Tatiana announced. Jesus, couldn’t I demand they all be kicked out. They wanted to be here for me, but I just needed quiet so I could listen to the beeping machine and watch Branka’s chest rise and fall. It was my confirmation that she was alive.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Five fucking days of beeping!
Maybe I should start killing the fuckers who worked here. Clearly they were useless. I was losing my mind.
The steady beeps that offered comfort, now had me despairing.
My family and Branka’s brother stayed clear of me. Supposedly, I was getting on their nerves. I wondered what the fuck they thought they were doing to me.
After endless nagging, I finally took a shower. Apparently I smelled like a rotten corpse. My sister’s words, not mine. While I took a quick shower, Tatiana and Autumn sat by Branka’s side. Autumn kept crying, which had me on edge. Tatiana kept muttering that if one more person dies on her, she’d become a full-time alcoholic. I wasn’t sure if it was her threat to the world or her negotiation with God.
I didn’t care, as long as it worked. There wasn’t much I needed in life, but I needed Branka. I was dependent on her.
Once done with the shower, I resumed my spot and the two lingered in the hallway along with our families. I watched them murmuring to each other, probably worried what kind of shit I’d pull if–
Blyad, I couldn’t even think it. They were right to worry, because this world would burn, and I would burn right along with it.
A soft rustle of the sheets pulled my attention to the bed. My eyes shot up to lock on cloudy gray eyes and relief so fucking strong washed over me that I feared I’d start crying. Jesus fucking Christ! I couldn’t remember the last time I cried and at this moment I was ready to start bawling like a damn baby.
The grip on my throat stole my breath and my words. I stared at those eyes that could bring me down to my knees. She was the only one that could destroy me.
“Are you okay?” Her first words to me after being shot, her tone raspy as I drowned in the mists of those gray clouds. Or maybe I was crying. Fuck if I knew.
“Kotyonok,” I growled. “You will never do that again. Ever!” She blinked confused. “No, I’m not okay. Seeing you shot, blood all over you, it’s the worst kind of pain.” I shot to my feet and leaned over her bed, taking her face gently between my palms. “You do not take a bullet for me. I take a bullet for you.” I pushed on my chest. “Me. Never you.”
“That’s horse shit,” she croaked, scoffing softly, then winced immediately afterwards.
God, the sight of her filled me with so many feelings that I thought I was incapable of. Heavy longing. Trying to be good enough. This aching craving for her that was part of my every breath.
I was never good enough. And I was never able to save my mother. Or Mia. And I almost failed with Branka.
“I almost lost you,” I rasped, turmoil in my chest pulling me under.
She lifted her hand and pressed her palm to my cheek. “I’ll be yours, in life and death.”
An incredulous breath left me. Those were the words every man lived for.