Sasha: Chapter 61
Sasha sat behind the desk, his feet propped up on it. His eyes met mine and a smug smile curved his lips. It was the kind of smile that promised naughty things. Instantly butterflies fluttered their wings wildly in my stomach. This man was making an insatiable sex addict out of me.
Earlier today he informed me we’d see my brother, Autumn and Kol. So for that alone, I’d allow him all smugness and smirking. I was so excited to see my family and hug them all.
“What?” I asked suspiciously.
“I have a surprise for you,” he announced with a wide smile. But his eyes weren’t smiling. They were light blue pools, pulling me into their depths.
He looked over my shoulder and I followed his gaze. A tall man with a scar marking his face stood there, his arms folded. I’d never seen him before. I returned my eyes to Sasha.
“If you even dare to suggest a threesome, I’m going to murder you,” I said calmly. I was coming to a revelation that I didn’t mind Sasha’s kinky stuff. Not at all. But I wouldn’t be fucked by two men.
“I’m not the sharing type,” Sasha said, his voice almost a growl as if the mere idea of another man touching me had him raging. “Nobody touches what’s mine and you’re mine.”
His words sent a wave of warmth through me. Gosh, it was so easy for me to fall madly in love with him. I was so head over heels with him.
Love!
I never thought I’d have it and here it was, in my grasp. The only reference to love and happiness I had was my best friend’s parents. And the love my brother and Autumn shared.
This thing with Sasha was different. It wasn’t sweet. It was almost violent and all-consuming. I couldn’t imagine living a lifetime without him.
Now, if only I could make Alessio and Killian understand. The latter wouldn’t be heartbroken, but I worried about my brother.
I followed Sasha’s gaze over my shoulder. A terse nod and the guy disappeared.
“Come here.”
My feet already moved, obeying him when my brain finally caught up and had my steps faltering. I didn’t know what it was about him that had me obeying him. My body trusted him unconditionally and so did my heart.
Well, I hadn’t earned his either.
“Kotyonok, come here,” he demanded again, the expression on his face telling me disobedience would be a bad idea.
My heels clicked on the hardwood as I came around the desk toward him. The moment I was within his reach, he gripped my waist and lifted me onto his desk. Trepidation and excitement charged through my veins. It was always the same with Sasha. The way he touched me, like he already owned me, had my body mold into him.
His big hand came to my breasts, and he pressed me down until I’m spread flat across the desk, my knees bending over the side. My heels drop off my feet, one at a time, and hit the floor with a loud thump.
“What are you doing?” I asked, peering up at him.
A wolfish grin spread across his face then he crouched between my legs. He lifted my dress, then latched something soft around my ankle. My head shot up as I watched him locking both my ankles to the legs of the desk, leaving my legs spread wide open.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Those pale blue eyes met mine. “Want me to gag you too?”
My eyes widened. What the—
I jerked against the bonds when his hand came to my thighs, keeping them firmly in place.
“Do you trust me?”
I stilled, drowning in his Arctic crystal blues. Explicit trust was such a hard thing for me. It’d be a work in progress for the rest of my life.
I jerked against the bonds, but they were unyielding. My skin tingled, the scars that have been erased somehow aching.
“Don’t.” My movements halted at his command. My eyes darted to him, my heart thundering against my ribs. “Breathe.” I swallowed. “Breathe for me.”
I took a lungful of oxygen and inhaled, then slowly exhaled. Then repeated.
“Good girl,” he praised. “You can follow orders. And for that, I won’t cuff your hands.”
His thumbs brushed my skin, searing it. He started at my ankles, and slid up the inside of my legs until they reached my thighs. He pushed my skirt up, inch by inch, until my thong was in full view.
“You put on what I laid out for you,” he purred, satisfaction coloring his voice. Red had to be Sasha’s favorite color for me. The dress he laid out for me was bold red. Not terribly revealing, but very sensual.
Slickness gathered between my legs and the reaction confused the hell out of me. Regularly just the thought of being tied up sent me into a panic attack. Yet with this man, bondage seemed to turn me on more than anything. I was clearly more insane than I thought.
Sasha’s palms stopped right at my entrance, his thumb poised over my clit. He swiped his thumb down the material of the soaked material of my thong.
“You’re wet for me,” he remarked calmly. “You like being at my mercy.”
“I don’t,” I breathed out but we both knew I was lying.
He slapped my pussy and a yelp vibrated through the air. “Don’t lie,” he growled. Then he slapped it again and to my horror more juices soaked through my thong. “Now, tell me the truth.”
“I-I…” The lie refused to pass my lips. “I like it,” I admitted softly. “But I shouldn’t.”
He rewarded me with a smile and his palm rubbing my pussy. “As long as you enjoy it, anything goes.” My thighs attempted to clench together, but the bonds kept my ankles locked. “Should I finger you, eat your sweet pussy, or fuck you?”
He stared at me pensively as if he was seriously debating it. “Or I could do all three.”
My muscles flexed and I almost came just from his words. He grinned, not missing my clenching pussy. “My kotyonok is a dirty girl.”
“Please.” The plea came out on a wavering breath. His answer was using his other hand to tear the thong off me, the lace shredding effortlessly under his strength.
“I can’t wait to bury my cock in your mouth,” he rasped, his hand rubbing my pussy.
A shudder rolled over my body as he bent his head and dragged his nose along my inner thigh. He inhaled my scent, breathing in my arousal then closed his mouth over my center and began to devour me.
He teased my entrance with a finger, and my back arched off the desk. He pushed his finger inside my entrance, the juices dripping down my inner thighs and drenching his fingers. Then his mouth came to my clit and he sucked hard as he pushed his finger deep inside me.
Stars exploded behind my eyelids and waves of pleasure rocked through my body. My hands reached for his head, my fingers burying themselves in his hair and gripping a handful like it was my life raft. My pussy grinding against his face, he kept eating me out, not wasting a single drop.
“Taste yourself. You liked it before,” he growled against my oversensitive pussy. Panting for air, I didn’t answer him and he nipped my clit and another shudder rolled down my body. “Do you want to know what you taste like?”
I peeled my eyelids open, meeting his gaze watching me while buried between my legs.
“What do I taste like?”
“Like my wife.”
Wait. What?
Then with a final long lick of his tongue, he rose to his feet. He went around the desk and reached for my wrists.
“We’re not done here yet,” he said, his mouth glistening with my juices. He didn’t even bother wiping it off. “Are you okay if I cuff your wrist?”
When I nodded without delay, I knew deep down, I was all in with Sasha Nikolaev.
He wrapped my wrists in cushion-lined leather cuffs connected by an intricate chain. My heart still thundered from the orgasm I experienced as Sasha pushed my spine back down to the surface of the desk and guided my bound hands over my head, clipping them to a hook somewhere below.
He watched my body sprawled out on his desk, like a sacrificial lamb waiting to be feasted on. But only by him. I’d only be devoured by him.
“Now I’m going to eat your cunt in peace,” he drawled.
“But-”
A deep, dark chuckle vibrated from his chest. “What? You thought we were done?”
I nodded.
“We are far from done here, kotyonok.”
He crouched between my legs again, circling my clit with one thick fingertip, I writhed, bucking my hips up to increase the pressure. Sasha sucked my sensitive clit between his teeth, biting down just hard enough to send a jolt of shocking desire and pain through every cell of my body. He tongued my entrance before licking up to my clit and nipping it again. A moan traveled through the air, my head thrashing from side to side.
“Please, please,” I begged. He thrust his tongue inside my entrance, mimicking how his cock would slide in and out of me. Pressure built and built, I was so close when he stopped.
“No,” I protested whiny, my body flushing with frustration. If he started to bring me to the edge only to leave me hanging, I’d lose my mind.
He reached around the side of the desk and pulled out a package. I lifted my head as much as I could with my arms in their bound position to see what he’s doing. He opened the package and a flash of silver entered my vision.
“What was that?” I questioned.
“You’ll like it,” he assured convincingly. Cold metal dragged across my heated center, and an involuntary shiver rolled through my body.
He closed it lightly over my swollen clit, sending my spine arching off the desk again. As quickly as the pressure came, it dissipated too.
I wanted more of whatever that was.
“You like it, don’t you,” he stated.
“Yes.” My voice was hoarse from the orgasms, my breathing labored.
Pulling on the clamp, he stood and the pressure returned, pushing me toward an orgasm. He let off before I reached the peak.
“Damn you.” I let out a frustrated breath.
Another chuckle. “It’s time for your surprise.”
“Is it an orgasm?” I panted out, heat swimming through my veins. I was mindless with need, so close to the edge that I just needed to grind myself against him and I’d reach my pleasure.
“Please—”
“You want to come again?”
“Yes!”
“Then we’ll pierce that sweet little hood so the jewelry rubs your clit every time you move.”
His words penetrated my lust-filled brain, the meaning of it sinking in. I blinked, staring at him and hoping I misunderstood what he just said.
“Excuse me?”
“A piercing. On your pussy.” I blinked, then blinked again. My brain must have slowed due to the orgasms. “It’ll heighten your every sensation. I want you ready for me, wet and soaking at all times.”
I shook my head, but not in denial. It was more in disbelief. From a virgin to a hood piercing in the matter of a week. Was I crazy to even entertain it? Excitement shot through me at the thought of doing something so naughty. This psychotic mobster was corrupting me. Or maybe I was corrupted from the moment I was born.
He must read the agreement on my face. “We’re getting it pierced today.”
My mouth dropped in shock. “Today?” I repeated stupidly.
He grinned. “Yes, today.” His eyes lowered to my spread thighs. My pussy wide open for him to see and something hot flared in his gaze. “Tell me you want it.”
I did want it, but it felt like I kept giving in to him, while all he gave me was orgasms. Those were wonderful and all but it wasn’t enough.
His tongue circled my clit, teasing and testing before nipping and tugging. My hips pressed up against his mouth, increasing the pressure, but he backed off again. “Tell me you want it,” he repeated.
His finger lazily circled my entrance, pushing in and out. My body demanded another wave of pleasure but I held back.
“I’ll do it.” Victory flashed in his eyes. “But only if you tell me the story behind another one of your tattoos.”
My pussy ground against his hand even as those words came out. He stiffened.
“Why?”
Because I want to know you. I want to know all your layers, not just the mask you wear around the others.
“Autumn’s parents always said it’s a two way street to make things work,” I muttered. “And they’re happy.”
He resumed circling my entrance lazily. “Are you happy?”
The question was casual. The expression on his face almost appeared like he couldn’t give a fuck whether I was happy or not. But my instinct warned otherwise. Maybe Sasha was just as scared of being hurt as I was.
“I’m not unhappy,” I answered.
“But you’re not happy.”
I remained silent, watching him. “I want more than just sex, Sasha.” The words escaped me and there was no taking them back. Not that I wanted to take them back but they made me feel vulnerable and raw. “You gave me words, but I want more.” I want to know his scars. His fears. Everything. And then I wanted to be the one to chase it all away from him. “I have my own fears. Being left behind. Not being good enough.” I took a deep breath, then exhaled. “You’re holding back.”
Silence followed. Trepid heartbeats drummed.
“I want to see my brother. Talk to my nephew and my best friend. I miss them.”
My heart stilled, waiting with a desperate hum. A heaviness tugged at my chest, his eyes full with ghosts of our pasts.
“Are you regretting your words, kotyonok?”
‘Never,” I told him passionately. “I’m here to stay. But I need more. You can’t even tell me the full stories behind your tattoos, Sasha. How are we going to survive years together if you can’t even share that with me?”
He ran a hand across his jaw. My throat felt tight, expecting him to dismiss me or tell me I wasn’t worth it.
“Which tattoo?” he said.
Confusion flickered through me and my eyes flared to him in question.
“Excuse me?”
“Which tattoo do you want to know about?” he asked.
My eyes flickered to where the Nemesis tattoo hid under his clothing, then to his knuckles. His gaze followed mine. The vulnerability that flashed in his eyes was a punch in my gut and I almost told him never mind. But I didn’t.
“My mother hated me,” he started. “She hated and loved my father. But me… she couldn’t stand me.”
My brows furrowed. “Why?”
“She blamed me for her failed marriage,” he rasped. “The day she died, I found her in the hallway muttering like a lunatic.” He let out a bitter laugh. “Her parting words before she killed herself, she made a point of telling me I was unworthy. That nobody would ever love me. And then she flung herself out the window.”
The vehemence and vulnerability in his voice made my chest ache. My throat felt tight – for the little boy to have endured something like that. Yes, my mother attempted to commit suicide and take us with her but I didn’t remember it. I was an infant. It scared Alessio and Mia more than me. There were other ghosts haunting me.
“You are worthy,” I choked out. “And any woman would be lucky to have you. But you are mine now and I am yours. I will never leave you.” I wrapped my hands around him, at a loss for more words. So I said the only other thing I could. “Let’s get a hood piercing.”
His chest vibrated and the tightness in my chest slowly eased.
“And I will never leave you behind, kotyonok. It’s me and you. Forever.” I leaned closer to him and sighed into his mouth when he kissed me.
“Forever,” I repeated, my lips brushing against his. “Now where is the piercing guy?”
He pulled his phone from his pocket and typed up a message, then the sound of it leaving his phone filled the space.
The reply was instant.
“She’s coming now.”
“She?”
Sasha grinned. “You didn’t think I’d allow a man to touch you there. I’d have to slice off his hands and blind him.”
I shook my head but a smile pulled on my lips.
“What if it ruins my hoo-ha?” I asked out of nowhere. “I just started having sex. I’m going to need it for a long time.”
His features relaxed, then went blank, before he exploded with laughter. He lowered to a crouch and reached for the buckle on my ankles releasing me.
“I promise, I’ll keep your hoo-ha safe,” he vowed.
Several heartbeats passed before I admitted, “I’m actually a tiny bit excited. Hopefully, it won’t hurt too bad. I want to have more sex.”
Amusement crossed his expression and he huffed out a chuckle as he unbuckled my wrists.
“We’ll have sex,” he assured. I closed my legs, but it took no time for Sasha to come stand in front of me. His hands came to the outside of both my thighs and he wrapped my legs around his waist. It wasn’t sexual. It was as if he wanted me close, just as I wanted him close.
“I can’t wait to see you pierced,” he murmured, his mouth skimming over my neck.
He was pushing me outside my comfort zone, and I liked it.
“Maybe we will get you pierced too,” I suggested in a throaty voice. “I hear it’s quite the experience for the woman.”
Suddenly his hand gripped the nape of my head. “Who told you that?”
Geez, he was possessive. “Women talk,” I murmured.
He visibly relaxed. “If you want me to get pierced, I will. But I assure you, kotyonok, you don’t have to worry about your pleasure. You’ll get it with or without the piercing.”
A knock at the door sounded interrupting our discussion. “Enter,” Sasha called out.
The door opened and the guy with the scar walked in with a small woman behind him.
“This should be fun,” the guy with the scar announced, grinning. His eyes traveled over me, creepy and leering.
“You won’t stay in the room, Albert,” Sasha barked out, his expression hard as granite. The guy looked from me to him, back to me, his posture stiffening.
It was the petite woman who broke the intense silence. “I got it from here,” she announced firmly. “I’m here for her.” Her chin tilted my way. “Once I’m finished with the job, just have a car for me outside and I’ll be on my way.”
Sasha’s cold eyes were still locked on Albert, promising pain and retribution. I reached out a hand and caught his arm, wrapping my fingers around his large bicep.
“He’s leaving,” I told him, conveying with my eyes for Albert to beat it. Sasha’s gaze dropped to where my hand lay on him, then returned his eyes to me with a new intensity.
Albert disappeared the same moment and I released my hold on Sasha’s arm. He flexed his fingers before balling them into fists, then uncurling them to shove them into the pockets of his suit pants.
The petite woman stood in her spot, tension visible in her shoulders.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “We’re ready.”
As if she didn’t believe me, her eyes flickered to Sasha. He gave a terse nod.
“I’m Natasha,” she introduced herself as she took tentative steps towards us.
“Branka,” I told her, smiling. “This is my– “ I didn’t know what to call him. My boyfriend? It didn’t sound right. “This is Sasha,” I finally finished saying.
She nodded. “Okay, let’s do this.”
“Your English is really good,” I commended her.
She chuckled, laying out a toolbox onto the table. “I sure hope so. I was born in the States.”
“Small world,” I muttered.
“The smallest.”
She had me lying back on the desk and I opened my legs, while Sasha stayed by my side, holding my hand. Natasha worked efficiently to sanitize me, prepared my hoo-ha and then reached for the long needle with a diamond on it.
My eyes flickered to Sasha. “A diamond?”
He grinned. “I picked it out. It reminds me of your eyes.”
Returning my gaze to the long, thick needle, trepidation fluttered through me. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Sasha must have read the second guessing in my expression, because his hand squeezed mine in comfort.
“Take a few deep breaths,” he instructed. “In and out.”
I rolled my eyes. “That sounds an awful lot like labor.” Then a thought struck me and I shifted to see him better. “Have you done this before with a woman?”
The jealousy lacing my voice hadn’t gone unnoticed. He smiled.
“This is my first,” he admitted. “So many firsts already for us.”
I slightly relaxed at his assurance, my anxious look returning to the needle. That was one big-ass needle.
“It’s not nearly as bad as what you’re imagining. I promise,” she assured.
Famous last words, I thought wryly to myself.
I took a deep breath in and breathed out as instructed.
“Deep breath in,” she ordered, and my hand clamped around Sasha’s fingers as I complied. “Now, blow it out.”
The sting was gone before the oxygen left my lungs.
“All done,” Natasha beamed. “Congratulations.”
I shook my head incredulously. That was it. I barely felt it. “Are you sure you did it?” I asked.
She nodded, smiling. “Let me tighten the jewelry and you’re good to go.”
A few more moments later, she was all done. She stood up, snapping off her latex gloves, and strode to the bathroom connected to the office. She washed her hands and she was on her way out.
When the door closed, I met Sasha’s gaze.
“Why a piercing down there?” I questioned.
“On your pussy?” he challenged, being crude on purpose. With his mouth, my cheeks would be permanently stained by the time I died. “I love marking you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Nobody will see it.”
His lips tugged up. “But you and I will know it’s there. You will know you’re mine and if I die, you’ll think of me every time that thing brushes against your flesh.”
The thought of him dying squeezed my chest and my fingers curled into his shirt, pulling him closer.
“You won’t die,” I told him.
Alessio would see tomorrow that my life without Sasha wasn’t worth living. At least not for me.