SWNOVELS Sasha: Chapter 58
Tigress.
Branka has been a fighter her whole life, and I couldn’t be more proud. She could have asked me and my brothers to pull the trigger so she’d keep her hands clean. But that wasn’t who my kotyonok was.
She ended the miserable existence of the bastard.
I knew Mia and Branka didn’t know the name of the man that rained cruelty on them. But the fucker should have known nothing remained hidden for long in this world.
Leaving the dead body behind for Vasili and Alexei to handle, I led her away from death and into life. She belonged among the living. She deserved happiness. She deserved to always come first.
Once outside, she tilted her face to the sun. It made her hair glow in all colors of the fall – red, honey, brown, even blonde. I reached for a strand, marveling at the silkiness of her curls. She was strong because she had to be. To survive. But deep down she had a soft and loyal heart that was the biggest prize a man could earn.
“It’s never hot here?” she asked, her face still facing the sky.
I knew she didn’t particularly care for the Siberian summer. Neither did I. But my parents’ home was the most remote place for us to stay. It was where I knew she’d be safe.
“Very rarely.” She let out a heavy sigh. “You’re okay?” I asked her.
Flicking a side glance my way, she nodded. Her eyes were metal gray. They weren’t sad but they weren’t happy. Anything short of happiness wasn’t good enough for her. She deserved it all. Her old man should have been torched. It made me want to go back, dig him up and then torture his corpse.
It might be slightly overboard though.
“Yes, thank you.” After a moment of silence, she continued, “I never knew his name.” I watched her delicate neck move up and down. “Thank you for making him pay. It brought closure.”
I nodded. The man was a fucking coward. Her father even more so for selling his daughters like that. He kept their virginities intact, but he gave that sick bastard free reign on everything else.
She returned to look at the sky and I waited. I wanted her to talk to me, but that was one thing I couldn’t force out of her.
“Am I a substitute for her?” Her voice was barely audible, her eyes still glued to the sky. “Is that why you want me?”
“I cared for Mia, but she isn’t you.” Her eyes lowered, studying me. “Your resemblance starts and stops with your physical appearance. I worried about her. I wanted to save her. And I made her a promise.”
“A promise?”
“Yes, a promise. That I’d watch over you and your brother. That I’d protect you. So since you were ten-years-old, I’ve watched you. I watched your brother beat up your father at Mia’s burial and I knew you’d be safe. But I kept watching over you. I watched a bruised little girl grow up into a stunning, strong woman.” I took her face between my palms and pulled her closer. “It was that strong woman I fell in love with. It was that strong woman I wanted for my own.”
Her eyes widened. Yes, I was going all out. Fuck caution. Fuck what she was ready to hear. This was us. Our future. She was the other side of my coin. I was the other side of her sanity.
She swallowed, her eyes blinking. “You fell in love with me?”
I chuckled. “Kotyonok, I am so far past the love phase, it’s not even funny. You are my life. You are my breath. You are my everything. I waited seven years. I wanted you to come into your own before I pulled you into my madness. I can’t wait anymore.”
A shuddering breath passed her lips. “What if I need space? Time to think?”
I pulled her into my arms.
“Fuck space. Fuck time. You and me, Branka… we make sense. Together. I don’t want to waste another second on space and time.” I pressed my mouth against hers and her body melted into me. “Think while you’re in my arms. Just don’t leave me.”
I let her see it all. All of me. The damaged, fucked up parts. The bits and pieces of decent parts.
Every-fucking-thing.
“I can’t have children,” she mentioned. Her tone was light. But her shoulders were tense. Her lips were pressed thin. “Another defective piece of me,” she sneered. “An abnormality, my doctor said. Excessive scar tissue or some bullshit like that.” A shuddering breath passed her lips. “I could never give you a family, Sasha.”
A heartbeat passed. My chest ached. My throat tightened. For her. If she wanted a baby, we’d find a way and have a baby.
“You sure?”
“Yes.” Her voice was a rough whisper. Our gazes held.
“Listen to me, Branka Russo,” I started. “I want you. You. Not what you can give me. I don’t give a shit about any of that other stuff.” Her fingers dug into her palms and I worried she didn’t believe me. “If you want a family one day, we’ll adopt. If you don’t want a family, it’ll be just you and I. Between your siblings and mine, we’ll have plenty of nephews and nieces to spoil.”
Her bottom lip trembled. “But–”
“There is no but,” I told her firmly. “You’re enough for me. You’re the one I waited for. You’re the one I am terrified of losing.”
“You are too much, Sasha,” she croaked. “What if you wake up tomorrow and realize you’ve made a mistake?”
The insecurities I felt in my heart and in my soul from the moment I heard my mother’s words uttered out loud, stared back at me. Maybe it was the reason Branka and I clicked. Two broken people but together we were whole.
“You are not a mistake. You are my passion. My obsession. Someone I can’t live without.” My heart thundered and blood buzzed in my ears. “Don’t ask me to live without you because that is the one thing I can’t give you. Your freedom.”
It fucking scared me that my love was unrequited, but I could no longer hold it inside me. I needed her in my life. An innocent encounter in the bar seven years ago changed me forever. She was the one that I’d been waiting on.
“It’s insanity,” she muttered. “Alessio will be mad. And I made a promise to Killian.”
I clenched my teeth. I could understand her loyalty to her brother but not to Killian. That one rubbed me the wrong way. But I knew I’d have to tread lightly with her.
“Forget your head, kotyonok. Forget your reason. This is for us. Just listen to your heart and then tell me whether you can picture us growing old together. Because I can. I love you, Branka Russo. All your perfections and imperfections are mine. Just like mine are all yours.”
She chewed on her bottom lip while I watched her. I could be patient when I wanted something. I have been patient with her because I needed her.
I had been in it for keeps all along.