Sapphire Flame (Sapphire Wings Book 3)

Part II: Noah

My heart is open yet feels cold as stone

Though I feel loved, I also feel so alone.

- Noah Renaldi

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It’s amazing how well you can reflect on things when you’re sitting all alone in a room for a long time.

I kept thinking that as I stared at the grey stone walls around me. How long had I been here now? It felt like forever, although I seriously doubted it had been nearly that long. But seriously, these creatures that had brought me here hadn’t been that hospitable, putting me in this tiny room that was like a prison cell with only a bed and four walls. The nearby door was made of stone too, with only a small, barred window to look out of, although there was really nothing to see except for more of these doors lining the hallway.

Now and then, I would hear strange sounds echo throughout this area. I couldn’t tell what they were supposed to be. I’d never heard anything like them before. Were they other supernatural creatures?

Seemed possible to me.

I didn’t have a clue of what these creatures who had brought me here were supposed to be. I hadn’t seen many from the Veil yet, and these had looked so human, but also inhuman at the same time. They were very strong and powerful, and the two that had brought me here each had one of their eyes covered by their hair. I didn’t think any creature could be as fast as them either. While I’d managed to break out of that dark-haired one’s hold at first, the white-haired one had immediately subdued me from behind, holding a sword to my throat before I could even think of what to do next.

Needless to say, I’d had to give up and surrender then. Afterward, they’d brought me here, and another had ordered for me to be locked up in this room. He had been one that looked like a very tall African American man who was wrapped in an orange shroud and had red eyes. I’ll admit that now he’d intimidated the hell out of me.

But then, like I said, I didn’t have much experience with this side of reality, so I’d never run across one like him or those working for him. Hell, I’d been vain enough to think that I’d do just fine coming over here and looking for that woman’s spirit.

Now I realized that I’d just been stupid.

It was still eating at me that I’d allowed her to use me as much as she had. That woman that I’d believed had been an Angel who was trying to help me only wanted me to help her escape from Purgatory. I’d overheard those creatures call her Noel Renaldi. That was weird to me. I didn’t recall ever hearing that name in my family before, but I’d always thought that our last name was pretty unique, so she must’ve had some relation to us somewhere.

But none of that bothered me as much as knowing that I wouldn’t get the answers I wanted. I didn’t care what she was supposed to be. I just wanted her to tell me the truth about whether or not my feelings for Seraphina were real or part of this family curse. I needed to know if this was damning me and her. Now I felt like I was back to where I’d started.

Feeling frustrated, I brought out my remaining wing again, pulling it around to take another good look at it. It had been weird, but I could’ve sworn that I’d seen a few black feathers in it right after they’d brought me there.

But looking at it now, I saw nothing but light blue. I began carefully picking through my feathers, trying to figure out whether or not it had been a product of my imagination.

Besides, I was already bored as hell, so why not?

I admit that it didn’t bother me that much to only have one wing now. I hadn’t even had my wings that long before that vengeful spirit had cut the other one off. Damn, that one had been the most painful thing I’d experienced in my life so far. I’d never realized how much our wings were a part of us. It was like having a limb hacked off.

But I’d made out fine. Yeah, I couldn’t fly anymore, but that wasn’t a big deal. At least I was alive, and that spirit was set free after such a long time of suffering. Sevee was too when I thought about it, although now he had lost Lenore, and also had a new baby to take care of.

I’d thought a lot about Lenore’s death after everything that had happened. It bothered me on a deeper level than I’d ever thought anything could. I kept imagining the person I loved dying like that. I was sure it had devastated Sevee, even though I didn’t get to see him afterward. I’d been too busy with my own issues.

Seraphina’s pretty face flashed through my mind. All I wanted now was to go home and make sure that she was okay. Even if she never returned these feelings I had for her, at this point, being able to be close to her was enough.

Of course, all of this was the reason I’d ended up in this situation in the first place. I really had thought that Noel could give me some answers as to why I felt this way and whether it was right or wrong. What I hadn’t counted on was how she had died. I’d never seen her bloody throat before in my dreams, and I hadn’t thought about how she had black wings before now.

But when that white-haired creature who had brought me here mentioned that she’d been sick from those wings, I admit that it scared me, especially when I thought I saw some black feathers in mine. That was why I was double-checking myself now. It was a relief to not find any, but I just wanted to be sure.

I glanced up as I heard the door start opening, expecting one of those creatures to be checking in on me again. They’d been doing that since they’d brought me there. But it wasn’t them coming in.

It was my father.

He wasn’t alone either. My uncle and grandfather had come with him. I mentally braced myself for this one. Man, was I about to hear a mouthful.

My dad stepped in front of me, glaring at me before finally letting out a long sigh. That was different. He didn’t look mad. Only relieved.

“At least you’re safe,” he murmured.

“I guess I’m going home now?” I asked.

I was trying hard not to let him hear how hopeful I was. I sure as hell didn’t want to be here any longer than I had to.

“Yes, you are, but you’re also in a lot of trouble.’ Raphael informed me.

“I thought so.” I sighed as I slowly stood up and pulled my wing back into my back.

My dad was finally getting over his exhaustion in this as he began to scold me, “What the hell were you thinking, Noah?! You could’ve gotten yourself killed going after that woman!”

To be honest about it, I had been expecting him to react even worse than he was. I’d gone too far this time, and he had the right to knock some sense into me.

But his fury was only in his voice. I probably shouldn’t have pressed my luck anymore, but I also wasn’t in the mood to back down to him.

“I’m fine. Besides, I had to figure out some stuff for myself.” I responded.

“Don’t stand there and act like this was nothing!” Dad fumed.

“It’s not that big of a deal, and I’m still alive, so that counts for something.” I countered.

I was starting to enjoy this argument. It felt like I’d never left. But Michael intervened before it could go any further. He was probably tired of hearing this stuff now, just like Raphael. We’d been arguing a lot in the last month.

“That’s enough. Both of you act like you have common sense,” he ordered.

We both backed off, neither of us feeling like pushing this anymore. I watched as Dad looked away from me. I could tell that he was still mad at me, but I noticed the hurt look in his eyes too.

Damn it. I’d need to figure out how to apologize in private later. I hated seeing that.

My thoughts were interrupted as my grandfather moved behind me and forced my remaining wing to come back out. He then checked it over.

“Well, I don’t see any signs of black, so that’s a relief,” he stated.

“Black?” I repeated. That startled me a little, but I kept what had happened earlier to myself. It was gone now.

“You don’t need to worry about it. The important thing is that you’re safe.” Raphael told me.

One of the creatures was coming in there with us as he spoke. He was the same one that had ordered me held there earlier, looking like a tall black man wrapped in an orange shroud and wearing jewelry that reminded me of the African cultures I had studied the year before.

But his eyes were inhuman, red with dark pupils. They did intimidate me, which was interesting for me to realize. The other creatures hadn’t even made me flinch, yet I knew better than to cross this one. Maybe that was because he was one of the leaders.

“I will take it that things are well?” he asked us, his deep voice very smooth and even.

“Yes. Thank you so much for looking after him, Morosa.” Michael responded.

“Morosa, huh?” I took a moment to study him again, “So, are you gonna tell me what you’re supposed to be now?”

“Be respectful, Noah. Morosa is one of the leaders of the Sumarians, and he did us a favor by taking care of you until we could get here to retrieve you.” Raphael scolded me.

Sumarians huh, I thought. Must be some of the highest creatures in these realms under the Angels.

Morosa had turned his attention back to Michael, “Your younger ones seem to carry a lot of free will, Michael. Perhaps it is something that you should consider tempering here and there in the future.” he suggested.

“I know, but free will is also a good thing at times too,” Michael responded.

“Yes, I could agree with such.” Morosa relented.

He led us out of the room and down the long hallway that I’d been brought through when they were ready to confine me. I hadn’t noticed much of my surroundings at that time, but now that I was able to pay attention, I was sure that this was a place to hold other creatures that they’d had to capture. There were many more doors like the one I’d had on my cell, and I noticed different creatures moving inside of the rooms through the windows on them. That was also where the strange sounds I’d hear were coming from, just as I’d suspected.

We finally came through another door that led to a massive room that looked like it was made of stone and crystals, but to my dismay, other family members were waiting there for us. Namely, Sevee and his father. But what shocked me was seeing Lenore standing beside Sevee. How in the world had she come back? I was sure she was dead.

But then I realized the feeling I got from her. She was a Sumarian now. She’d been brought back somehow as one of them.

Great.

Sevee’s life was about to be wonderful and mine was still as screwed up as ever.

“I knew they’d take good care of you,” Lenore said as we stood with them.

“I guess you call being confined to a small stone room being taken care of. Why don’t you say that to all of those other creatures you’ve got imprisoned in there?” I challenged.

“They’re a different case than you, but we also couldn’t let you run off. Besides, they were generous enough not to chain you too.” Lenore responded with a coy smile.

Sevee huffed as he crossed his arms and looked at me squarely, “You didn’t last long. Not as smart as you thought, were you?”

“You’re one to talk with all the trouble you've always had.” I countered.

“I didn’t go looking for it like you did.” Sevee countered, “You really thought that you’d be okay looking for an Angel that was sitting in Purgatory for a reason?”

I probably should’ve backed down now, but my pride wasn’t going to let me. Not when it came to him.

“I still held my own long enough,” I informed him.

“You are a brazen young Nephilim, especially for one who now only has one wing. You came here hoping to accomplish something, however, you will not find what you are seeking with her. That dark one would only give you false hopes.” Morosa told me.

“Yeah. I get it.” I reluctantly agreed.

I was trying not to face him as I spoke. He still intimidated me pretty badly.

Beside me, my dad was quiet, but I picked up the mental message to be quiet. He shared an ability similar to Raphael in telepathically relaying emotional messages, and this one was projecting for me to suck it up and shut up.

Raphael nodded at Morosa, “Thank you again for all of this. We’ll go ahead and handle him from here.”

So this was it. I was finally going home. In a way, it felt good. At least I’d be able to see Seraphina again and make sure that she was okay, even if it did end up being under a lot of supervision.

I could handle that. Most of my questions had been laid to rest for now, and even if I couldn’t love her as I felt like I wanted, it wouldn’t stop me from feeling that way. At least I could help protect her.

And, hopefully, we wouldn’t have to worry about this little mishap I’d inadvertently caused by letting Noel escape during my fighting those Sumarians like I did. Oh well. What was the worst that could happen now?

When it comes down to it, that’s a stupid question to even think about. I was grounded as soon as I got home. It wasn’t too bad, but I didn’t like the idea of being trapped in my house either.

My mother was beside herself too by the time I came back. I guess my taking off like that hadn’t been fair to her now that I thought about it. I was her only kid. First, she was hugging me, then she slapped me and yelled at me to never do that again. Yeah, this was normal, so I took it in stride and promised not to.

As for my father, he didn’t say that much after we got home. He just sat back and listened mostly, not reacting too much. I wondered if he was worn out after all of his stress in finding me. That made me feel bad too. I really shouldn’t have put my parents through all of that, even if I thought I’d be okay.

My mind was still on my dad as I sat by the large window near my bed later that night. I was expecting more, like us getting into another argument later, but it almost felt like he’d been avoiding me since we’d come home. That bothered me even more than my guilt over what I’d done. My dad had never avoided me before. Was he finally fed up with me to where he didn’t want to talk to me anymore?

Yeah, that was a scary thought for me. I didn’t want to lose my relationship with my dad over all of this.

I finally couldn’t take anymore and got up, walking across the room to the piano and lifting the cover over the key as I sat on the bench. Maybe playing some would help ease my mind.

I’ll be the first one to admit that I’d always been a spoiled kid. Maybe all of the Renaldi children are. We usually got the things we wanted. The big thing that I’d begged for since I was a little kid was a piano. I had loved this instrument for as long as I could remember. My grandfather had one in his house, and even though I was only two years old, I quickly got into a habit of climbing onto the bench and pecking away at the keys. My dad noticed this and began sitting with me and started teaching me how to read music and play. As it turns out, he's a natural with the piano too, so I guess I inherited his love for it.

The two of us would spend hours together during the afternoons playing, and my love for making music only grew. My parents saw how much I enjoyed this and wanted a piano of my own, so for my tenth birthday, they surprised me with this one. It was one of the best birthday gifts I’d ever gotten, and I played it every day.

By that time, our life was comfortable, and our little family was well off on their own. My dad was a very successful man. He’d learned all the tricks of investing early from my grandfather, and my mother had gotten a degree in interior decorating just a few years after I was born. They’d partnered in a real estate company a few years ago that was doing very well, along with flipping houses on the side, which earned them a really good extra income. Life for us was great.

Well, it had been until all of my troubles started.

I laid my fingers on the keys, and before I knew it, Moonlight Sonata was drifting through my room. Its haunting melody had always captivated me, reminding me a little of my own life. I knew that I wasn’t like others in this world. At times, I felt like I didn’t even know who I was supposed to be. Maybe that’s part of being a Nephilim. You can easily feel alone, even in a crowd.

I heard my door open but didn’t bother to look or stop playing. After a minute, the person walked over and sat on the bench beside me. I glanced over to see that it was my father.

I admit that there were times when it had begun feeling a little strange to look at him and know that he was my dad. He looked only slightly older than me since his aging had stopped within a year of my being born. I often wondered how my mother coped with that. She was aging like a normal human, just like Sevee’s grandmother.

Not that Mom looked bad at all for her age. She was still a beautiful woman and took good care of herself.

“Is something up?” I asked, not bothering to stop playing.

“No. I just wanted to sit here and listen to you play.” Dad answered.

Well, that wasn’t unusual. He’d always enjoyed listening to me play before, and we still played pieces together sometimes. It was strange to think now that we’d been fighting so much. We had always been close before.

But I guessed a lot of it was on me. I’d been so dead set on the things I believed that I hadn’t taken any time to listen to anyone else, especially him.

I let out a long breath as the song ended, setting my hands on my lap.

“It’s been way too long since I sat down and played for myself,” I commented.

“It feels like it, and even if you’re not happy with everything right now, we are glad to have you back,” Dad told me.

“I’m good. I get where you and Mom are coming from. But seriously, don’t you think it’s a little harsh to keep me locked in the house?” I responded.

Dad smiled, “Well Noah, you know as well as anyone why we’re doing this right now. We don’t trust you yet not to take off on us again.”

“I said I wouldn’t, and I meant it,” I insisted, “I know what I needed to know, and it’s a mistake I won’t make again.”

I knew that I sounded defensive, but I couldn’t help it. I hated being prejudged, even if I had been the one in the wrong. As far as I was concerned, they could save that honor for Sevee.

Dad just shrugged his shoulders, “I believe you, and yeah, I get it. I know we all make mistakes in our lives, and you’re still pretty young. Besides, I’ve been a little harsh myself with all of this too.” he admitted.

“You had a right to be, but I’m still not backing down on how I feel about things,” I informed him.

“I get that, but you know that this probably is at least partly from that curse we’ve warned you about.” Dad reminded me. He leaned a bit closer to me, “Seriously Noah, do you know why we were so worried about you with all of this?”

“I guess because I ran away and tried to meet a spirit that was in Purgatory.”

“Yeah, that is part of it, but I’m also talking about the stuff with you feeling like you’re in love with Seraphina, and how that spirit might have been influencing you with it.”

I’d expected that one, but went with it and heard him out.

“I guess you’re gonna explain it to me.”

Dad nodded, “I think you should know, and I think you know too that there’s something up with all of this. You’ve just been more influenced where you haven’t been able to fight it. Anyway, there was a reason that your grandfather was checking your wing after we got there. He was making sure that it wasn’t turning black.”

I tensed up as I heard this. That woman’s spirit had black wings. What was that? Was it part of how she died?

“Why? What is all this stuff about black wings?” I managed to ask him.

“It’s some bad stuff from what I understand.” Dad confessed, “While no one knows for sure if it’s the curse that causes it or something going wrong within the soul, a Nephilim’s wings turning black makes them extremely sick, and can eventually kill them. That angel you were looking for was originally Gabrielle’s twin sister. Her name was Noel, and she developed those black wings right before she committed suicide.”

“Hold on. She was that Noel?”

I couldn’t believe it. Now I remembered that name. I'd heard my father mention her a long time ago, but all he'd said was that she’d died when she was sixteen. I had no idea that she’d been sick, or that she’d killed herself.

“Yeah. That one calling to you was her, and yes, she did kill herself; but as I said, she was already extremely sick when she did it. Those wings were killing her.” Dad confirmed.

I was thinking of my own wing as I heard this. I still wasn’t that sure if I’d seen black in my feathers before or not, but I also wasn’t going to tell my father that. Instead, I stuck to the issue of Noel.

“So they don’t know for sure what caused her wings to turn like that?” I asked him.

“Like I said, no one seems to know for sure. Lenore told us that it might have something to do with the corruption of her soul from the curse that took over her mind. From what I know, Noel was a very twisted person by the time that happened, and she died convinced that she was in love with someone from her own family. That might have played a role in it, but no one is that sure right now.” Dad explained.

I got where they were coming from, but I still couldn’t see where an innocent love could twist someone’s soul that badly.

“Yeah, but it has to be more from that curse too. Even if she did love someone that she shouldn’t have, it shouldn’t have been enough to turn her wings toxic like that.” I reasoned.

Dad agreed, “Yeah, I’ve thought that too. But seriously, she was really messed up back when she was little from what I’ve heard. She was kidnapped when she was eight years old, and that guy tortured her before they found her. When she came back, she developed an unnatural attachment to your grandfather and eventually started influencing him to do terrible things. Her influence ended up being deadly too, and it very well could’ve stemmed from what happened to her and the curse.”

“I get it, but I’m not like that at all, Dad. I’ve had a great childhood with you and Mom, and I love my life with both of you and the rest of our family.” I told him.

A grateful smile crossed my father’s face, “I’m glad to hear that. You know I love you, right?”

I returned that smile, “I know. I love you and Mom too, and I’m sorry for all the trouble lately.”

“I get it, and it’s not like we’re mad at you. We’ve been more worried than anything, especially when we realized that Noel’s spirit was the one trying to influence you. We were scared to death that your wing might be changing and you’d end up sick. For my part, I’m sorry that I didn’t say much to you when we got home too. I was exhausted with all of it and I needed time to process it. But aside from that, I wanted to say that no matter what, you’re still always going to be my son, and I’d never abandon you, even when you decide to push the hell out of me.” Dad continued.

I looked down, the guilt hitting me again. That was right. If they didn’t love me like this, then they wouldn't have gone through so much to come after me. I was being selfish here. I’d been putting my parents through hell just because of that.

“Dad, I…” I started.

“You don’t have to apologize or feel guilty over this stuff. I get it, and I feel guilty too for some of how I’ve been reacting. I don’t want to keep fighting. But please, just do me the favor of watching yourself with Seraphina. Think about what she’d already been through. She’s still vulnerable right now, and we don’t want her wings to end up turning either.” he reasoned with me.

“Yeah, you’re right.” I agreed, “I won’t push anything anymore with her. I’ve already decided that. I also won’t keep arguing over it. I don’t want her or anyone else to die because of me.”

Dad let out an exhausted sigh, “Alright. I can take that, and I won’t disagree with you seeing her or Sevee and his family. I like knowing that you’re able to be close to your cousins, just like I’ve always been close to mine.”

I can’t say at the time that I felt any solace in my decision to repress my feelings towards Seraphina. But I also wanted to respect my father’s wishes and keep everyone safe. It was the least I could do after what I’d just put them through. It was time for me to grow up, and if it meant that I had to let go of some things, then I would.

I just hoped that it wouldn’t end up being as hard as I was imagining.