Salted Tears | ✓

Dear Cole,

I know that you hate me and I’m okay with that.

But I don’t want to lie to you anymore.

I never cheated on you.

I only said I did so that you would forget about me.

When you spoke to me on graduation, I realized that you still didn’t hate me as much as I believed.

I’m sorry that I lied to you, but I just didn’t want to hurt you.

You have her now to help you forget about me.

Don’t try to find me, I know you would want to because that’s the kind of person you are.

I’ve already left this place, I’m gone and you can finally forget me.

I hope you know that I never stopped loving you.

The truth is Cole, I have a brain tumor.

That’s where all of my random nosebleeds came from.

That’s why I threw up all the time and you always helped hold my hair.

It wasn’t because I had the flu like I told you.

And that’s why I lied to you.

I didn’t want you to see me like this and I didn’t want you to hurt.

So please, forget about me.

The tumor has gotten worse and if you’re reading this, then I’m already gone.

I didn’t just leave for Duke early like you might’ve thought.

Live your life Cole and don’t think of me.

I never wanted you to get hurt.

There’s one more thing that I kept from you and I hope that you can forgive me.

I didn’t know until it was too late but Cole, I was pregnant with our baby.

But something happened because the tumor and I fainted.

I had a miscarriage Cole and I can barely deal with it.

That is also why I lied to you.

I said I was with a guy when I didn’t meet you that night or answer your calls, but I was in the hospital.

Grieving for the child we could’ve had.

I hope you know that I’ll always love you.

I hope you live the life you’ve always wanted.

I’m just sorry that I couldn’t be a part of it.

Sincerely,

America, the girl who loved you until the day she died.