SWNOVELS Ryan Redemption: Chapter 43
It’s after midnight when I finally head to bed. Conor and the twins are working in the club and Jessie must be in bed because I didn’t see her when I passed the den. As I near her room, I stop outside for a few seconds. How easy it would be to walk in there and crawl into bed next to her. Running my hands over her soft, warm skin and tasting every inch of her before I bury my cock in her sweet cunt. I groan out loud. Why the hell did I go and fuck everything up? Just sex. That was what we were supposed to be. And if I had kept it that way, I wouldn’t have been so fucking cut up about her leaving. We could have gone back to just sex.
But there is no just sex with Jessie. She is under my skin, and my heart sinks as I realize she probably always will be. I want to hate her but I just can’t. I love her but I don’t trust her. And I don’t know how I’m going to be able to live under the same roof as her and deal with these feelings, because it damn near killed me to see her walking out of my office with Conor earlier today. Knowing they were probably on their way to fuck and being acutely aware of the fact that she and I will never get to do that again.
“No! Volk!” the high pitched shriek comes from Jessie’s room and I don’t even think before I burst into the room and run to the bed. I heave a sigh of relief that she’s just having a nightmare having half expected to come face to face with the elusive Wolf from the terror in her voice.
I turn on the lamp on her nightstand and sit on the bed beside her as she whimpers and thrashes beneath the covers.
“Jessie,” I say softly and she shouts something unintelligible, but the terror on her face is real as beads of perspiration run down her forehead.
I place my hand on her arm and note the heat from her skin. “Jessie!” I say, louder this time and her eyes snap open.
“Shane!” she gasps as her eyes dart around the room.
“Yeah, it’s just me. You were having a nightmare.”
She swallows hard and wipes her forehead with her hand. “He was here,” she stammers.
“The Wolf?”
She nods furiously.
“There’s no-one here but you and me, sweetheart. Promise,” I say as I brush her damp hair from her forehead.
A single tear runs down her cheek and it breaks my heart to see her crying.
“Jessie,” I breathe, desperate to touch her.
“Are you sure there’s no-one here?” she looks up at me through her long, dark lashes.
“One hundred percent. I’ve been watching the security monitors all night. You’re safe.”
“Well, except from you,” she laughs softly and I smile at her. “You’re the most dangerous of them all, Shane Ryan,” she reaches up and brushes her fingertips over my cheek.
I swallow hard as I use every ounce of restraint not to pin her down and fuck her until I forget why I shouldn’t.
“Will you stay with me for a little while? Just until I fall back asleep?” she breathes and I wonder if she’s purposely trying to make me hard or whether my body is just hardwired to react to hers this way.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Just to lay here. I promise I won’t try to take advantage of you,” she smiles faintly but I see right through her because she is trembling in fear. Whatever the Wolf did to her has left scars that I suspect will never heal.
“Well, now you’re just taking all the fun out of it,” I say as I lie on the bed beside her. I resist the urge to wrap my arms around her because I know where that will lead. She will rest her head on my chest and I will smell her hair and feel the warmth and the softness of her body against mine, and then I will be completely fucking undone.
She shifts onto her side until we lie face to face. “I enjoyed working with you today,” she whispers. “You are a very good underling.”
“Well, don’t get used to it, Hacker. I give the orders around here, remember?”
“How could I forget?” she smiles and the tension starts to slip from her body and her eyelids flutter. “Thank you for staying with me.”
“Any time. Now get some sleep.”
“Yes, Sir,” she purrs and the sound makes a direct line to my cock. I bite my lip as I watch her eyes closing and she drifts back off to sleep. I could leave now because I’ve done what she asked of me. So, why am I still lying here staring at her.