SWNOVELS Ruthless Knight: Chapter 26
I inhale the cool night air, allowing it to whisper over my skin.
I’m heading back to the house now.
I went for a walk on the beach to think.
Think about everything, but mostly my fears for the future, and my marriage tomorrow.
By this time tomorrow night, I’ll be Mrs. Knight Grayson, and I haven’t seen my husband-to-be since the other night when we first slept together.
The next time I see him will be before the priest when we take our vows.
But that’s not even the part that worries me. It’s how he makes me feel.
My emotions were already mixed up, but now here I am, the night before our wedding, trying to work out what’s going on in my head.
I know I shouldn’t trust my attraction to Knight, but whenever he’s around, my guard slips. I haven’t been able to put it back up since the other night.
To say we were intense is a huge understatement. I’ve never given myself to anybody the way I did with him, and he unlocked something inside me I never knew I wanted.
When I woke up in his bed and saw he was gone, I expected it.
Sex, to men like him, no matter where they get it from, is just supposed to be fun.
It doesn’t mean anything. But I was still disappointed.
It wasn’t that I expected anything to change between us, but I felt a connection with him I thought he felt too.
I think I was just seeing what I wanted to see. Just like with Scott.
Scott screwed me over in the worst way possible because I couldn’t see him for the liar he was. I’m scared of ever being in that position again, where I play the fool who is so blinded by love they stop seeing what’s really in front of them.
Mom used to say that fear can be a person’s biggest downfall.
Fear stops you from dreaming, makes you worry yourself sick, pushes you to do things that aren’t you, and stops you from being what you were supposed to be.
I never understood what she fully meant until I got older and started experiencing life for myself.
If Mom were still alive, I’d ask her what I should do when I have every right to be afraid of tomorrow. What should I do when there’s nothing I can do but wait it out to see what happens?
What should I do when I meet someone like Knight, who confuses me in all the right ways?
I surely don’t know.
I’ve been out here for hours, but I feel just as conflicted as when I first stepped through the door.
I was going to hang out with Knight’s dogs, but when I get to the terrace and glance at his workshop, I’m drawn to go inside.
I haven’t been back since that first night. I didn’t plan to go back either, but perhaps the secrets behind his mysteries are calling to me now because of tomorrow.
I allow the lure to take me inside.
Once the automatic lights come on, I find the section with the sculptures.
Frozen in time, they look the same.
She looks the same—Giselle.
I walk up to the sculpture of her that hooked me most and stand before it. The beauty in the craftsmanship is so stunning, I’m awed all over again.
Perhaps I’m a little more besotted with Knight’s talent tonight because I know Giselle isn’t Chelle.
But the question still stands. Who is Giselle?
Who was she to Knight?
So far, all I know is she must have captured his heart.
How did she do it?
Do I want to know?
Do I truly want the answer?
Capturing Knight’s heart seems as mythical as finding the fountain of youth.
There are things in my life that I want. None of them should include discovering the secrets to capturing Knight Grayson’s heart.
The door scrapes open, and my stomach tightens when I think it’s him, but then I turn and see Madison walking in.
“Hey, there.” She smiles and comes forward. “Denise said you were out here. I saw you come in, so I—”
Her voice cuts when she sees the collection of sculptures.
“Oh my God.” She moves closer and looks from them to me. “Who did these?”
“Knight.” I give her a little smile.
“Well, I’ll be blessed. I would have never imagined that he could do anything like these.”
“Me neither. Imagine my surprise.”
“Oh, I’m definitely right there with you.” She walks around and looks over each of the sculptures, one by one. “These are gorgeous. Absolutely breathtaking.”
“They most certainly are.”
“I’m guessing this is his workshop?”
“It is. There are all kind of things in here. I think he spends most of his time here when he’s home.”
A nervous smile spreads over her face when she comes back to me. “So, you’re marrying a billionaire who’s also an artist?”
“Yeah. Looks that way.”
Madison stares at the sculpture of Giselle I was looking at, then looks back at me.
“There are several sculptures of this girl. Is she someone he knew?”
“Her name is Giselle. I think she was an ex.”
Realization of my reasons for being here dawns on Madison’s face. “I see. Now I’m really glad I came by to see how you are.”
“Thank you.” I wasn’t in the mood to see anyone, but she is always the exception when I get like this.
“I was worried about you. You didn’t come to work today and, um… the night receptionist said she saw you leaving with Knight the other night.” The mischief she’s known for lights up her eyes. “She said you guys were kissing.”
My God. People saw us. What else did they see? And hear?
I close my eyes and groan inwardly, but to my surprise, Madison bursts out laughing.
“Why is that funny, Madison? Obviously, I’ve lost my mind. Finding out your best friend is insane is not supposed to be funny.”
“Bless your heart.” She makes a show of putting both her hands over her heart and amplifying her accent. “You’re not insane, honey. And what’s funny is you thinking you are when most of us could see you’ve been smitten with the man from the get-go.”
I give her a withered stare. I knew she knew and it was only a matter of time before she said something.
“But he’s the devil and … just not a good person.” My answer couldn’t be lamer if I tried.
“But you kind of like him?” Her red coffin-shaped fingernails clasp together. “You have since the first night you met him.”
I sigh and lower my head. When I look back at her, the words get stuck in my throat.
“It’s complicated.” My voice is whisper-soft, like a careful breath.
The humor fades from her face. “Looks like you need to talk.”
“I probably do.”
“Come, let’s sit over there.” She slips her arm around me and ushers me over to the work bench in the corner. It looks like the equivalent of my thinking spot at my old apartment. We sit next to each other, and Madison looks me over.
“So, let’s hear it. I’m all ears.” She opens her palms.
“I don’t even know where to start. Things have always been weird with Knight and me.”
“Did the other night make them weirder?”
“Yes.”
She bites back a smile and fails. “You slept with him?” That entire sentence comes out like a gasp. “Oh my God, I want to hear everything. Weren’t you supposed to be at some fancy fundraiser?”
“Madison, please.”
“Okay, I’m calming down. Just talk, talk to me. Say what you need to.”
“I hate liking him,” I begin, then backtrack to the beginning. I tell her the actual story of how I first met Knight, without leaving out the sexy parts, then I round up to the other night.
It feels like I’ve downloaded all that information in one breath, but I’ve been talking for almost an hour.
“I can’t believe you’re only just telling me this.” She shakes her head at me.
“I didn’t want to talk about it because it was confusing and completely inappropriate. I shouldn’t have any sort of feelings for him after everything. Look how he’s been with Sunset Cove, and God knows how he must have dealt with my father behind my back.”
Madison’s brows knit. “You know you can’t help who you have feelings for.”
“But I should. If I don’t, then I’m destined to repeat the past.” She knows exactly what I mean by that comment.
“I don’t believe that. Scott was Scott. What happened between you two was his own game of manipulation. He took advantage of your innocence and feelings for him.” She stares at me in a way that suggests she’s given much thought to her reasoning. “I can’t speak for Knight, but he doesn’t strike me as the kind of man who needs to do that.”
She raises a valid point. Knight doesn’t need to do anything. He could catch a woman in his dreams, and he’d wake up with her right next to him.
He doesn’t need me. But that doesn’t mean I should read too much into anything we did.
“I think I need to be careful.”
“Of course, you do. Definitely be careful. But please listen to me when I say this—there’s such a thing as being too careful.”
That sounds like a conflict of advice. “How can that be a bad thing? Hardly anything bad ever happens to people who are too careful.”
She flicks her palms over, suggesting I’ve hit the mark. “But those sorts of people never truly live. All they do is worry so much about all the bad things that could happen that they stop living. It’s called being stuck in a perpetual comfort zone.”
Clarity seeps into my mind with a warning that I’ve been that kind of person for the last few years, but that isn’t who I want to be.
“I don’t want to be in a perpetual comfort zone,” I scuff.
“Then don’t be. With the wedding a breath away, it might not be a bad thing to see where things go.”
That sounds so simple.
Could it be?
A glance at that sculpture of Giselle tells me it’s not, but like her, I’m stuck.
Stuck on the man, everything he does to me, and everything I still want him to do to me.
I could sit here and try to convince myself that I should be sensible and careful.
But I know I’ll do neither of those things.
So maybe the only option I have is to let whatever is happening between Knight and I take its course.
I return my gaze to Madison and nod. “Okay.”