Ruled by the Blaze (The Unwanted Marriage)

PATRICIA'S POV (Continuation...)

Nang matapos ang maikling yakapan at pag congrats sa dalawa naming kaibigan, bumalik na kami sa palibot ng bonfire at nag simulang uminom ulit.

Ang hilo na dapat kong naramdaman kanina ay ngayon na tumalab. Masyado kasi ako'ng napukaw sa eksena nila Tyrone. Uminom din ako ng hard drinks pagkatapos ng beer. Gusto kong lunurin ang sarili sa alak ngayon. I badly want to get drunk tonight and

I don't know why!

"Hey, don't drink too much..."

Inagaw ni Jaime ang panibagong alak na bubuksan ko.

"You've drink too much already" he said softly.

"But I want to drink more! I'm okay, promise!" I even smiled at him.

Sila Kelvin at Jess nga ay mukhang lasing na!

"So, when was the wedding guys?!" tanong ni Jess na kinikilig.

"Uh, I've planned it next year," Tyrone answered.

Sobrang ready na talaga sila...

"Magiging mag-asawa na kayo soon! Sa'kin lang naman ay sana...mag mahalan lang kayo at hindi na mag hiwalay!" sabi ni Jess. "Wala ako'ng advice na maibibigay, hindi naman ako magaling doon!" "Thank you Jess but..." Rica trailed off. "I want to hear some advice to Patricia..."

My eyes widened and looked at them.

Rica smiled playfully. "I'm sure Patricia know more about this stuff,"

"Yeah..." Tyrone grinned at me. "What can you advised to us, Pat? In case we get married,"

Rinig ko na ang munting halakhak nila Jess at Kelvin. I could see in my peripheral that Callum was watching me!

"Well..." I cleared my throat. "Alam ko namang magiging mabuti kayong asawa sa isa't isa..."

"How can you say that?" si Tyrone. "Paano kung mag-away kami-"

"I know that you both preferred to fix things than to fight over it. Mahal niyo naman ang isa't isa kaya walang dahilan para masira ang relasyon niyo..." Tumango-tango si Tyrone habang nakangiti.

"You're saying...they'll not separate just because they love each other?"

Nagulat ako nang biglang nag tanong ang girlfriend ni Callum. Nagkatinginan kami at hilaw niya ako'ng nginisian. Biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

"A relationship or marriage won't work if they only love each other," she spat. "There's should be good communication and trust-"

"Aren't those related to love?" I asked seriously. "If you love someone, you'll trust him no matter what..."

I heard my friends gasped. Bella in front of me suddenly changed her aura. Callum beside her remained silent.

"I just want to say to the both of you that don't rush everything," I said to Tyrone and Rica. "That marriage...think carefully about it. Just make sure you are sure about each other first -"

"They got engaged so technically, the wedding will happen soon," sumabat na naman si Bella. "They love each other so no doubt that they're for each other. They shouldn't be letting things like that go on. Marriage is just a sacred way to prove love-"

"Have you ever been married?" I asked that made her stop. "Do you know the feeling of getting married quickly? Without a proper plan?"

I slowly met Callum's eyes. My fist clenched.

Gusto niya bang iparating na dapat madaliin nila Tyrone at Rica ang kasal nila? Oo, mahal nila ang isa't isa pero hindi 'yon sapat! They still need to plan. Malay ba namin na may isa sa kanilang ayaw pa sa kasal? Hindi pa handa? Kaya kailangan nila ito pag-usapan ng maayos.

Bella sighed before smiling at us. Her smile was obviously fake but she didn't say a word again.

"Marriage is not a fairytale at all," I said bitterly. "That's why it takes a lot of time to think it through. It's not rushed..." My chest throbbed so fast.

Somehow, I remembered my situation years ago. Well, marriage has really brought me a lot. A lot of heartbreak... Katahimikan ang bumalot samin. I could feel their intent stare on me. Bakit, tama naman ang sinabi ko, ah! "Uh...I think we should stop about this topic, then?" Tyrone broke the silence. "Let's just keep celebrating,"

I remained silent. Hindi na ako tumingin pa sa banda nila Callum

Jaime held my hand. "Are you okay?"

I massaged my head. Medyo nahihilo na ako. "Ayos lang..."

I feel that Jess and Kelvin wanted to talk but they kept silent while Jaime watched my every move. I know he's worried.

I drank a shot of tequila, last shot before I stand up.

"Saan ka pupunta?" tanong ni Jaime kaya lahat sila ay napatingin sa'kin.

"Uh...cr lang,"

I held my head and slowly walked away from them. Tumigil muna ako sa madilim na parte sa labas ng hotel at nasapo ang dibdib. That was...intense. Bakit ganoon umakto sa'kin si Bella? Galit ba siya sa'kin? Well, tama naman ang sinabi ko kanina. Naranasan ko ang ikasal ng mabilisan. That's why my married life with Callum failed.

Pinilit kong tumayo ng maayos at mag lakad papunta sa hotel. Doon ako susuka dahil pakiramdam ko'y hinahalukay na ang sikmura ko ngayon.

Pumasok ako sa elevator, buti ay ako lang mag isa. Tahimik kong inisip ulit ang nangyari kanina. Bakit ganoon? Callum seems so stiff. Bakit parang si Bella lang ang masaya sa relasyon nila? He didn't react to what Bella said earlier. He's still a vague person to this day. It's hard to predict what he's thinking.

Pero masasabi kong iba na talaga siya ngayon. He became more snobbish and secretive person. The way he looked at me, as if there's a hidden deep thoughts.

Bumukas ang elevator at tahimik na hallway ang nadatnan ko. Walang tao kahit isa. Napatigil na naman ako dahil sa biglang pagkahilo. My sight were a bit blurry now.

"Room 108..." I whispered to myself while walking so drunk.

I looked carefully at each door because I might have passed our room. Bakit ba kasi late tumalab ang epekto ng alak na ininom namin! Ngayon ay nahihirapan ako, sobra ang hilo ko. Hindi ko pa naman kasama si Jaime kaya walang umaalalay sa'kin.

"T-There you are!" I said and pointed our room. "Pinahirapan mo ako..."

I was about to swipe the card on the door to open it, but suddenly a hand came and held my arm.

Nahulog ang card sa kamay ko kaya iritado ako'ng lumingon. Nag salubong ang kilay ko nang makita si Callum. Seryoso ang mata niya at mariin.

"W-Why are you here?" I asked nervously.

Sinundan niya ba ako? Pero paano ang girlfriend niya? Iniwan niya roon?

"Don't fucking touched me!" I was hysterical when he suddenly dragged me to a room.

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Mas lalo tuloy ako'ng nahilo sa ginagawa niya. Gustohin ko man sumigaw ay hindi ko magawa, baka may mabulabog pa rito. He keeps dragging me while I keep looking behind.

Kinakabahan ako sa ginagawa niya dahil baka mamaya ay sumunod sa kanya si Bella at makita kami!

"Stop it, will you?!" I said angrily and pulled my arm back. "How dare you do this!"

He finally let go of me.

Tumigil kami sa pagitan ng isang room. Dumistansya agad ako sa kanya at matapang na sinalubong ang mata niya.

"What do you need?"

He scoffed and looked at me intently.

"Know your boundaries, Callum! Hindi mo na ako pwedeng hawak-hawakan kung kailan mo gusto! Sinundan mo ba ako? Para saan? Ipamukha sa'kin na may bago ka na at plano niyo na rin mag pakasal! Ha, ganon ba?!" Umigting ang panga niya at humakbang palapit.

Umatras ako. "Leave me alone,"

Hindi siya nakinig. Napasandal ako sa pader kaya ikinulong niya ako roon gamit ang braso. I was stunned.

"So that's how low you think of the time we've been together with, huh?" he gasped harshly. "Our marriage, you considered it trash,"

I could feel the bitterness in his voice.

My legs trembled when his body gradually approached me. I smelled the alcohol from his mouth.

"A-Ano bang sinasabi mo..." my voice trembled. "Get away from me before your girlfriend sees us-"

"I don't have a fucking girlfriend!" his voice thundered.

Nanlaki ang mata ko at sinalakay ng kaba.

His face is so serious. Ang mga titig niya...para bang tagos na sa kaluluwa ko. Hindi ko magawang kumurap dahil may hatid na kakaibang pakiramdam sa'kin ang lalim ng mata niya. Kahit pauli-ulit kong sabihin sa sarili ko na ayaw ko na siya makita pero isang titig, hawak at salita lang niya...the boundaries I made just slowly melting.

"H-How about B-Bella? She's your girl!" my excused. "How dare you deny her? She's pretty, friendly and sweet! Lalo na kanina..." humina ang boses ko at parang may bumara sa lalamunan ko. "Ang sweet niya...sayo,"

His eyes gradually softened.

Naramdaman ko ang pag-iinit ng sulok ng mata ko kaya umiwas ako ng tingin. I brushed my eyes and tried to get some air. I felt so suffocated around him.

"She's not my girlfriend..."

Kumalabog ang puso ko. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from speaking.

"Y-You're lying..." I shook my head.

My chest felt so heavy, pero sa kabila ng nararamdaman...gusto kong tawanan ang sarili. Hindi ako naniwala kay Jess nang sabihin niya ang tungkol doon. Gusto ko na manggaling mismo kay Callum pero ngayon na narinig at kaharap ko na siya...parang ayaw ko maniwala.

He let her held and hug him like that.

Sa lahat ng mga narinig ko kay Bella, parang may laman lahat ng 'yon.

"She's really not my girlfriend. I don't have one and I never had one, Patricia" he said in a strained voice now.

But he let Bella act like that with him. And how about those models who got linked to him? That's bullshit!

"We don't have any-"

"I don't care, Callum! You don't need to explain!" my eyes started welling with tears now. "Wala naman na tayong pakialam sa isa't isa-"

"Kung ikaw wala, ako meron!" baritonong usal niya. "Damn, I waited you for years and when you come back, I will just see you being hugged and kissed by that man!"

Napaigtad ako sa boses niya. Pakiramdam ko nga ay nag echo 'yon sa buong hallway.

Si J-Jaime baa ng tinutukoy niya?

"J-Jaime is my friend," nahihirapan kong sabi at umiwas ng tingin. "You don't care what I do either, so don't react anymore-"

"Don't use that against me, Patricia" he warned me. "Hindi mo rin siya boyfriend di ba? But you let him touch you like that! How dare him!"

Halos mapatalon ako nang suntukin niya ang pader sa tabi ko. Bigla kong hinila ang kamay niya at inilayo siya roon malapit sa room. Baka mamaya ay may mabulabog sa ginawa niya, ireklamo pa kami!

I let go of him when we reached the end of the hallway.

"Let's just end this now" pagod kong sabi. "Tigilan mo na ako. Wag mo ipamukha sa'kin na mas masaya ka ngayon no'ng nawala ako. Callum, you have a new life and so do I. So please..." I looked at him softly. "Stop bugging me-"

"Do you love him?" he suddenly asked. "Oh, I'm sure you're not but he is. He likes you. He keeps watching you-"

"And you're also watching us?" singhap ko. "Why do you care anyway?"

His jaw moved aggressively and held the bridge of his nose. He looks frustrated.

"You answer my question first. Do you love him-"

"I said he's just my friend-"

"Then you're still mine, Patricia!" he said that makes me shocked.

My lips parted. I stiffened and couldn't react immediately. Did I hear it right?

Hindi pa nga ako nakakahinga ng maayos sa sinabi niya ay nilamon niya na ang distansya naming dalawa. He held my face and kissed my deeply.

Nanlaki ang mata ko at nanghina ang tuhod. Naramdaman ko ang braso niya'ng pumulupot sa baywang ko bago pinalalim ang halik. Nangilid ang luha ko at nang mag tama ang mata namin, napatigil siya at unti-unting humiwalay sa'kin. Fresh tears rolled down to my cheeks as I felt him lifted my chin.

"I-I'm sorry..." he whispered and wiped my tears.

Hindi ako nakapagsalita. I was shocked. Ano'ng ibig niya'ng sabihin kanina? At bakit niya ako h-hinalikan?

I shook my head with the ideas that formed to my head. It's impossible that he still love me. My chest felt so lighted now. Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng saabihin sa kanya. I don't even know if I should get mad to what he did. His lips...still soft.

"Don't go back there. Just go back to your room and rest," he said calmly.

Ang pagkahilo ko ay biglang nawala. Akala ko'y aalis na siya pero nagulat ako nang bigla ulit siya'ng lumapit.

Napapikit ako nang lumapat ang labi niya sa noo ko bago masuyong hinawakan ang braso ko.

"Rest now," he whispered before turning his back on me.

He left me dumbfounded.

Nakatayo lang ako ng ilang minuto bago natauhan at wala sa sariling sinunod ang sinabi niya. Dumiretso nga ako sa room namin. Nag half bath ako at pagkatapos ay dinalaw agad ng antok Damn, Callum. What did you do to me...