Robofootball: Doublespin

Time was short with the morning train ride to New York on December 26, and the game on the 27th against the Numbskulls after that. There were always intangibles in football, and those that considered, analyzed, reanalyzed, over-analyzed, and basically lost a lot of sleep were the coaches followed closely by those who set betting lines. The big Las Vegas casino owners hired math wizards and computer programmers who rivaled the best actuaries in the world. One consideration was the market. New York had a monstrous fan base that sprawled into New Jersey, perhaps only rivaled in America by towns like L.A. in California and Dallas or Houston in Texas. Simply, put, they would get more bettors from the Empire State than from the Great Lakes State.

The odds makers within their own huddles put the game at about even, but the official betting line would favor New York by 3 ½ points. They followed the sport closely taking into consideration that the Numbskulls had beaten the Robocats earlier in the season, that New York had home field advantage, the team records, the strength of the competition played, how the teams fared against common opponents, the injury reports, the financial health of the team, the individual stats of all the players, points scored verses points against, and so forth; all plugged into a software analyzation program created specifically for the RFL. Naturally, there was a good deal of subjectivity given that injury reports were virtually nonexistent as teams did not share the status of their machines with anyone as long as they passed inspection. Home field advantage was somewhat less than it would be with human players as crowd noise had nothing to do with snapping the ball from an auditory standpoint; plus, the game was mostly played in the control rooms, like a bat cave, that were buried in locker rooms beneath the stands.

Weather conditions could have an effect like the heat of the outdoor stadium in Texas, and even rain; nevertheless, northern teams like Michigan and even New York played in climate-controlled indoor stadiums. Where the odds makers had underestimated the Robocats was the general mechanical health of the team. Michigan’s superior manufacturing base with direct in-house capability had the team nearly as healthy as it was from day one; whereas, the Numbskulls were hurting. It had been a brutal season and it had been a challenge not only to keep what Gen 3’s that teams had in good operating condition, but the same fragile Gen 2’s too that were more prone to breakdowns. Nearly half the Numbskull team was made up of Gen 3’s that were still working, the other half Gen 2’s that had been great in 2019, but were now a bit more worn and beat up in 2020, a lot like a 5 or 6 year old car with over 100,000 miles; some good miles left, but the best years were over with.

Another key factor that the eggheads could not fathom, was Jess and Antwan. Neither had played the entire 1st game earlier against New York. At the time, their clones were little different in terms of general play and statistics; however, the two humans had chemistry and had improved significantly with experience. Speaking of experience, the Numbskulls had gotten off to a fast-paced 2-TD lead in that prior game, mostly due to an inept and inexperienced secondary play by the Robocat controllers. Dino had worked long and hard to correct such flaws, and, after 12 games together, the secondary had gelled together like Antwan and Jess as there was or has always been, no substitute for actual experience. With all that in mind, one would think that the Robocats would be heavily favored, but in football, unlike a 7-game playoff series in many sports like baseball, hockey, and basketball, at least in the later rounds, anything can happen in a single game.

The Robocats won the toss and if there was one player that generally made it through the bashing and crashing unscathed, it was the kicker. On the rare occasions when they were hit, it was usually a roughing the kicker penalty. Reynolds or any of the other coaches could not recall anyone targeting a kicker, not even the Tin Cans. Ichiro had been coached to run the ball if it was halfway in the end zone or closer, namely 5 yards; nevertheless, the New York kicker was a Gen 3 who blasted it out of the back of the end zone, something it would do the entire game.

Jess was pumped up like never before. Thanks to Hobson’s memory experiments, every play was etched in his brain like hieroglyphics on stone. It was also the first game where his full memory had returned whereby he could work in some of his old high school playing habits, the ones that would have earned him a full ride scholarship had human football not been outlawed in America. At game time, he had to put thoughts of Carly out if his mind, it was all he could think of since Christmas Day. Only the heat and intensity of a competitive sport like football could make him do so. Antwan promised to help him with what to do, but only after the game. Now it was time to concentrate on the opposing defense, start looking for holes, weaknesses, and patterns. Calling audibles was tricky, but with a microphone in his head gear connected to Rudy the Gorilla’s monitor, Rudy could instantly relay it to his offensive controllers and even delay the snap if time allowed on the play clock.

Jess glanced over at Antwan with a slight nod that was returned. The corner had bounced back a full 5 yards and Jess quietly said “Firefly 7 Cross” to Rudy, took the hike, and drilled Antwan right in the corner of his #7 where the horizontal dash along the top of the number met the forward slash. Carly would have reminded him that it was the vertex point since the #7 resembled that of an angle. Antwan’s slant netted 5 yards before he was crushed by a Gen 3 linebacker that hit him like a bread truck. The defense was playing back some, not entirely like a full prevent, but cautious in not letting the Robocat receivers get behind them.

“Take what they give you,” Jess recalled his old high school coach, Coach Bruce Polynytski, the rounded but solid Polish dude whose last name no one could quite get right aloud or on paper. The Robocats marched down the field mixing short passes with runs by Ichiro. Most plays were going for 4, 5, or 6 yards, but they were making first downs, and the times they got to 3rd down, it was only a yard or two and they converted. It was in the Red Zone when Ichiro fumbled. The adept controller spun his own nimbly-designed player around like a top, but as football would have it, the planets would line up whereby Ichiro would cut one way at the same moment a defender would lower his head for the tackle and push forward. In this case, the defender missed #22’s gut that the controller was aiming for, but clearly hit the ball instead that Ichiro had pulled sideways on one of his patented rotating cuts or spinoramas. The ball bounced out and the Numbskulls recovered it.

The Numbskulls hit two consecutive downfield passes for first downs each, but got greedy, sending out a couple of bombs like they had in the first game, but Dino was ready for them and made the proper defensive calls to stop them, mainly one-on-ones directly with corners and help from the two deep safeties. Reynolds promised another $1,000 tax free instant bonus for anyone who could disable the Numbskull quarterback, but no one could get to it early on. The New York coaches were no fools either and realized that they would have little hope of winning if it went down. They had seen what Michigan had done to their division rival Baltimore and what Texas was doing to other teams too once the quarterback was taken out. As a consequence, they were playing their quarterback like Jess, quick pitch handoffs or short throws, and went they went long, they kept a running back to block and only used a 2-receiver set for extra QB protection on the line. As a result, they had to punt after a 3rd straight incomplete pass.

The Numbskull kicker was good and punted the ball out of bounds at the Robocat 16. Jess drove them again like a carbon copy of the 1st drive, short passes underneath the relatively deep defensive sets combined with some solid runs by Ichiro. The Tin Cans had not been wrong in targeting the #22 Robocat player back in late November, and with everything else relatively even, Ichiro was proving to be the difference. The Robocats drove down the field slowly but surely, taking a lot of minutes off of the clock, but then, the unthinkable happened a 2nd time, Ichiro fumbled again.

It was an odd play at the Numbskull 18 yard line, a 3rd down and barely a single yard to go as it was more like 2 feet. Like a goal line play, Ichiro propelled his player forward in a leap over the heap. Jess was banned from quarterback sneaks like the Numbskull quarterback to prevent injury. Ichiro made the first down, but landed on a pile of players fully 3 feet off the ground, but he was not ruled down since no part of the player’s body made contact with the ground. The on-field robo refs were nothing much more than ball extractors at the end of play, and spotters in preparation for the next one. The human ref on the other hand sat on elevated chairs on the sidelines much like surly tennis judges. There were more officials in the booth with relay monitors.

Ichiro made a couple of mistakes on top of the pile. Since he was not on the ground, he tried to inch forward but his player’s legs were somewhat trapped; yet, he was able to move the upper body and inch the ball forward just a hair more with his arms. The play continued since forward progress with the ball was still being made. That was his first mistake as he had gained nearly 2 yards, plenty enough for the crucial 1st down. The 2nd mistake was when he extended his ball arm to its full potential holding the ball out their precariously like he was reaching out to save someone’s life. A defensive hand reached out from the mechanical mayhem of a pile like Lazareth from the grave, and swatted the extended ball. The respective linemen from both teams were so tangled up that none of them had any hope of retrieving the ball before the sun went down, and it was a 1 p.m. game despite it being just a few short days after the Winter Solstice.

Jess didn’t even see it and thought like Ichiro that the play was basically over. The ball bounced toward the sideline where the Numbskull free safety was, which happened to be the opposite side of the field where Antwan had stopped running once the ball had been handed off and the play moved the other way. The safety grabbed the ball, ran it 84 yards unencumbered as no one bothered to make chase. After a lengthy official timeout which gave the players time to be extracted from the pile-up, the human officials examined camera footage, and ultimately ruled it as a fumble, a recovery for the defense, and a TD for New York.

The hometown crowd went wild, cheering ecstatically and jeeringly as only New York fans can. Despite Reynolds’ relayed protests to the sideline rep, there was no recourse against a system that was much like a cruel supreme dictator who served as judge, jury, and executioner in one fell swoop. Once the decision made, it was final, and Reynolds had about as much hope as reversing it as a unanimous Supreme Court decree. Football could be a tough game and despite over 160 yards of offense gained by the Robocats to the Numbskulls’ 32, they were down 0-7 at the end of the first quarter. If there was one bright spot in the pile-up, one Gen 3 and one Gen 2 defender for the Numbskulls were disabled while the Robocats had one lineman out.

It was only 7 points and Jess at least was not discouraged. There was 45 minutes of game time left and with his full faculties, his confidence rode high and he seemed to be judging the defense before him better than in the recent past. After the two long drives that failed to put points on the board, the defensive patterns were becoming more clear. When an outside linebacker rushed instead of covering, the tight end would be open, but was often not ready to receive the ball if the play called for blocking. Jess was chattering up a storm with Rudy, who in turn, relayed to his controllers to improvise a little more, especially those who were legally able to catch the ball. If Antwan or the other out was double-teamed, that invariably meant that someone else was open.

It was the little subtle differences that went way beyond the simple: “If they crowd the line throw, if they drop back, run.” On a 2nd down and 10 at their own 32 yard line, the drop back pass defense pattern was clear to Jess as his memories of Carly at Bluegill Lake in Harrison. He audibled a draw play, the first one of the game, dropped back, faked a pass which got the linebackers back on their heels, and planted the ball directly between the 2’s of Ichiro’s #22. The receivers all ran down the sidelines as instructed. Ichiro found a hole up the middle as big as one in the ozone layer and scampered for 64 yards before being forced out of bounds at the Numbskull 4 yard line by a deep safety. The Gen 3 safety landed funny on its knee, the same one that had been partially bent and loose like a bad ball joint on a car. This time it snapped. The replacement part had been back-ordered but had not been delivered in time like so many others. Two running plays later, Ichiro was in and the extra point was good to tie the score at 7 apiece.

Dino the Dinosaur with wrinkly old skin that matched his namesake, was the first to really see and appreciate the effects of the mounting injuries. Reynolds had emphasized knocking out the offensive players for a cash reward, namely the quarterback, on purpose if possible, but when the Robocats were on offense, Dino could sit back, relax, and just watch the game on the big screen until he was up in the hot seat to make the defensive calls when it was his turn. When that Gen 3 safety went down, a Gen 2 backup came in, and it was Dino who noticed that the backup was not walking quite right. There was a slight hitch in its hip that largely went unnoticed unless one stared continuously at it. He would point the flaw out at halftime.

The game went back and forth in the 2nd quarter with strong defensive play. The Numbskulls went 3 and out and the quarterback was ditching the ball way too early to avoid hits and tackles. It became a game of cat and mouse. Reynolds continued to wave his stack of $100 bills like a fan, but his defenders couldn’t seem to get to the Numbskull quarterback. It wasn’t a bad tradeoff however since the opposing offense was being shut down with no roughing or late hit penalties to boot.

Things didn’t go so great for Jess on the next drive. If he was pressured, he was making better throws, but his receivers, other than Antwan, were not keeping up with his increased level of improvisation. He hit a tight end in the side of the ribs when the controller failed to turn back and face the quarterback in time for the pass though the player was wide open. Rudy would have to chew them out even more during halftime to be more than ready for the ball at all times. Jess was just working faster than usual today as if his mind had sharpened and his reflexes boosted. Jess did make a mistake by mixing up Antwan with another of his receivers. When the receiver ran down the sideline 5 or 6 yards and stopped awaiting the ball as the play had been called, Jess could see the defensive corner breaking nicely in front of it. Jess pump faked like he did with Antwan, but the receiver was not Antwan, and sat their dumbly like a Medusa-bred statue, not breaking down the field as Jess thought he would. Jess threw the ball but luckily it sailed out of bounds as that back-up Gen 2 safety couldn’t quite reach it with its loose hip joint. If the Gen 3 model had been out there for the Numbskulls, it probably would have been picked off. Dino was noticing as he keyed his attention in on the safety.

After punting, the Robocat defense continued its stellar play and only allowed one first down on the Numbskulls’ next drive before forcing another punt. Dino was seriously paying attention to the Numbskull defense like never before. On the next series of downs, the Numbskulls started to blitz more and to avoid any direct hits, Jess threw the ball away twice where he likely would have scrambled more in the past, especially back in his high school days. On 3rd down and 10 from his own 28 yard line, Jess audiblized a screen to Ichiro that was immediately relayed to Rudy. It turned out to be a great call as all of the linebackers blitzed up the middle. Jess got knocked down with a glancing blow but was able to loft a soft overhead toss to Ichiro’s nifty little running back on the right side of the field where Antwan lined up.

With the linebackers nowhere near the play, Ichiro was loose in the secondary out running his blockers including Antwan, who were jogging nonchalantly in front of him, 10, 15, 20, and 25 yards before a corner got a hand on him and spun him one way. The Gen 2 backup safety came running up and Ichiro’s player, already the shortest on the field at the bare minimum 5’6” height requirement, ducked at the last second to avoid a direct head-to-head hit. It couldn’t have worked out more perfectly for the Robocats in Dino’s squinty-eyed point of view. The head of Ichiro’s player drilled the loose hip of the safety while the safety managed to bring it down after wrapping its arms around #22. The sweepers had to come out for both players. The #22 Robocat player had its head bent backward slightly and a little steaming fluid hissed out of its head. The backup safety’s hip module was destroyed and its busy days like a 1-legged man in an ass-kicking contest were over.

When neither player was able to get up, Dino jumped up, pumped his fist, and gave a rebel yell that was in theory supposed to scare the union opposition like Moses presenting the 10 Commandments to the sinners. Reynolds looked up curiously at Dino, wondering if the old man had gone off his rocker; after all, it was one of their own key players that was down. Then again, Ichiro had 2 cloned backups available, and New York was fast running out of secondary defensive players as Dino would soon point out.

“Sorry, tell you later,” was all Dino said to Reynolds. Reynolds was busy and still had a control board in front of him that did little except send voice commands to Antwan. The Robocats managed a field goal on the drive. Jess was only off because his receivers were still not adjusting fast enough to his improvised throws. The Numbskulls were stopped again, but only down 10-7 at the half despite being outgained by more than 200 yards.

“Can’t those damn receivers catch a frickin’ ball?” Jess had actually raised his voice while having a little palaver with Reynolds and Antwan, and then with the 2 coordinators, Rudy & Dino as Antwan slipped away moments before their arrival. Antwan afterall was still a secret as far as Reynolds knew, at least to himself and Hobson, and Hobson was no longer here. Jess tossed his head gear aside while behind closed doors and grabbed a 2nd 20 oz. bottle of Gatorade. Antwan was just draining his first one in the other room but had another one ready.

“Take it easy kid,” Reynolds said. It surprised him. Jess had always been on the quiet side. Jess was about to uncharacteristically interrupt but Reynolds held up a warning hand, “Go ahead Dino.”

“Their secondary is vulnerable, when Ichiro took out the backup safety, the next one has a fucked up arm, it’s still Gen 2, but they’re hurting.”

“We haven’t got the damn quarterback at all, no sacks, one light knockdown, no late hits either,” Reynolds said.

“Yeah, but they ain’t got shit on offense,” Dino went on, “He throws it away before a defender gets within 10 feet.”

“Any changes?”

“I say we stick with Plan A,” said Dino, “Maybe mix in a blitz here and there to mix them up. We should still go after the bastard as planned if we get a shot. If they’re down late, they’ll probably take more chances in the passing game. We’ve only lost a few defenders and have plenty of backups, the D only had to play about 10 minutes of game time too.”

“Okay, Yuri may have some back on the field for you. I’ll leave it up to you Dino, keep up the good work,” Reynolds said dismissively.

“One last thing,” said Dino.

“Yeah?”

“Their defense is a lot weaker than ours right now.”

“Got it Dino, Rudy?” Reynolds turned to the Gorilla as Dino left to confer with his controllers.

“Well, we shot ourselves in the foot those first 2 drives, we should be up by 3 scores.”

“Can’t change that,” Reynolds said knowingly.

“Maybe more if they’d catch the damn ball,” Jess chimed in.

“Damn, what’s up with you kid?” Rudy said a little defensively. It’s as if they had a new prima donna on their hands. “You’re changing up plays a lot today.”

“I got open receivers, just trying to get them the ball,” replied Jess with a hint of frustration. The thing that was really bothering him was the Carly situation, he wanted to reach out to her, but he had to stay focused and keep her out of the picture for the time being.

“He’s right,” said Reynolds, “Our #18 is getting double teamed and the other receivers are not adjusting to him fast enough, especially the tight ends. Can we fix that?” Reynolds looked directly at Rudy.

“Yeah, I’ll need a few minutes with my guys, do a little ass chewin’.”

“Okay, what about what Dino says?” Reynolds asked.

“They’ve been losing some players, but that’s normal,” said Rudy. “But if they’re having safety trouble, maybe we should go for some longer passes.”

“Yeah, maybe,” said Reynolds. He turned to Jess, “What about it kid? Longer passes means that you’ll have to hang on to the ball longer, might get hit more.”

“I’ll throw it, just make sure those robots are ready to catch it, the ball will be there,” he said confidently.

“Okay Rudy, make it so, and tell those damn receivers to keep their heads up, one eye on the QB at all times.”

“Sure boss.”

“One last thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t be afraid to rough that secondary up, I’m not just talking about burning them for yards.”

Rudy grinned, “You got it boss.”

“Last thing.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna give the kid the power to call audibles on every play.”

“You sure?”

“At least if or until we build a lead, you just call a regular play, but let’em change it.”

“Okay boss.”

“Now get outta here and go chew some ass!”

“Right,” Rudy, like the gorilla nickname, sauntered out with an angry head of steam, it looked like he almost walked on his knuckles.

Reynolds sighed and looked at Antwan who had just come back, and Jess too, “All right, what’s going on?”

“Whaddya mean?” Antwan inquired.

“Something’s different,” he looked at Jess, “Kid?”

“Well, I guess I’m remembering more things.”

“Like what?”

“Football.”

“Yeah, you seem to be ahead of everyone else on the field, might have to slow it up a little for the blockheads.”

“I was a quarterback in high school.”

“You remember that?”

“Seems like yesterday,” and Jess didn’t have to long for it like some old Beatles’ song.

“Is that all?”

“No, I guess it’s all coming back.”

“Shit,” said Reynolds, now his own mind was working over time, “When did this happen?”

“Christmas morning.”

Reynolds turned to Antwan, “You knew about this?”

“Yeah, he lives with me an’ Gramma ya know?”

“When did y’all think you were gonna tell me?”

“Figured we’d get the game in first,” said Antwan, “We are gonna have to deal with it, I promised Jess. The kid’s got family ya know? A girl too.”

“You got a girl?”

“Yeah, maybe, er, back in high school.”

“What’s her name?”

“Carly Tucker.”

“It’s been a couple of years,” Reynolds said soberly.

“Yeah,” Jess said sadly.

“You gonna have to help him,” Antwan said softly.

Reynolds got a little red in the face and was about to tell Antwan to shut the fuck up, but he stopped himself. He was getting very close to 40 years of age, a time when most men, at least the real ones who knew how to man-up, could still get a testosterone rush, but still tempered it with a little more reasonableness and caution prior to lashing out. Reynolds had always been an intense person and temperamental as a child, but if there was one thing he learned with marrying into the Verlucci clan, was that one thought things out thoroughly first before acting rashly, but then act just the same, coldly and decisively. There were also times to deflect in order to bide that time for contemplation.

“Yeah, yeah, let me think on it. For now, I want you guys to get out there and win this game. We’ll talk about it more later, okay?”

“That’s cool,” said Antwan.

“Yeah,” said Jess.

“All right, let’s get these bastards, we can take’m, you just keep doin’ what you’re doin’ kid,” Reynolds directed his gaze to Jess.

The Numbskulls got the ball on their own 20 after it was kicked out of the end zone. New York came out swinging as they really had no choice. With a dismal 76 yards of total offense in the first half and one lone defensive score, they had to let the quarterback hold on to the ball longer and air it out. The Robocat defenders smelled blood, got to it, knocked the QB down, and the fat pasty dude on defensive end even got a sack in on a nice leaping airborne tackle but missed the vulnerable throwing shoulder. As is typical with the opening drive in the 2nd half, if there are any weaknesses to be exploited, even if it could be pulled off for just one play, now was the time to do it.

New York found some passing lanes and a few plays that the defenders were susceptible too. They even ran successfully twice on 3rd down and 7 and 8 respectively when Dino put too many dime packages in. They even did the unthinkable and ran a quarterback draw on a 4th and 1 at the Robocat 16 yard line. When they failed to make a first down on the next series of downs with a 4 yard run squeezed in between 2 incomplete passes, everyone in the world figured that they would just kick a potentially tying field goal, but they faked it which totally caught Dino and all of his defensive controllers off guard. The holder fielded the snap and did a sweeping end around, getting a couple of timely blocks and scampered into the end zone to the roaring delight of the crowd. To add insult to injury, they did the same thing on the extra point, only on the other side of the field, left instead of right, and it worked too. The score was an odd 15-10 in favor of New York early in the 3rd.

Jess began the 1st drive of the 2nd half for the Robocats at his own 20. He was really pumped and was exhibiting a level of confidence and even cockiness that Antwan, Reynolds, and the coordinators had not seen before. He was zipping precision passes right between the numbers of his 2-digit receivers, at least if they were kind enough to turn toward him. If they didn’t, he was cursing and Rudy relayed the cursing to his controllers word-for-word. When the controller for the tight end, who had been slow on the receiving end in the first half, caused an interception, Rudy the Gorilla roared and physically pulled him out of his seat and banished him from the control room. It was supposed to be a screen and the tight end’s initial assignment was to float outward and block, but the Numbskulls had anticipated the play and locked up Ichiro’s substitute #21. The tight end however was wide open like a lone car in an abandoned parking lot. When Jess threw the ball at him, the tight end turned too late and the ball ricocheted off his shoulder right into the hands of the 3rd string safety that was standing almost 4 yards further back. If there was any small consolation, the safety was drilled by an offensive tackle who was also supposed to be one of the lead blockers on the screen play. The safety’s arm was dangling by little more than a wire after the hit and the sweepers moved it efficiently off of the battle field. New York managed two first downs and kicked a legitimate field goal this time since the fakes had all been used up. The score was now 18-10 in favor of New York.

After Dino’s first half observations, Rudy and Reynolds were paying closer attention to the Numbskull secondary. The player sheets from the opposing team showed numbers that matched up with position. The Numbskulls put in a backup Gen 2 corner in as safety rather than defer to a Gen 1. Rudy relayed to Jess what was going on and the time had to come to start throwing aggressively downfield, far down, and it worked. Jess felt that he was born for this and with the help of the coaches, especially Dino, it worked as they had inadvertently discovered New York’s weakness on defense. With 3 safeties out and a corner too, the backups seemed to be having hip and leg problems as well. New York was in need of parts that had not made it and they couldn’t keep up with lucky #7 Antwan along with a couple of Kettering-designed receivers.

To compensate, New York positioned their substitute safeties far back and Jess had a field day working beneath them. He hit Antwan twice in a row with bullets of 16 and 18 yards, followed by an 11 yard reception to his new tight end whose controller didn’t dare turn his head away from Jess. The big pass was thrown to #21, Ichiro’s running back of all odd choices, the one that was basically a clone of #22 that had been injured in the first half. Antwan and another receiver converged on one end of the end zone while Ichiro blew past a corner and a linebacker on the opposite side to nab a 40-yard TD bomb. The corner was 6 yards behind Ichiro’s player when the pass was completed on the money. The 2 point conversion attempt to Antwan failed because his arm was chopped a split second before the ball arrived and the refs did not call interference. With 6 minutes and 21 seconds to go in the 3rd, the Robocats were down 18-16.

The New York coaches were no slouches. They weren’t 10-2 this year with a Cosmic Bowl appearance the previous year without top notch coaching. Aside from one incomplete pass that was dropped by Jess’s #11 receiver, the Robocats had scored on 5 plays in 2 minutes and continued to rack up huge chunks of yardage on offense. It was not the time for the Numbskulls to get conservative. They needed more points and the coaching staff knew it. Lose this one and there was no tomorrow as the old cliché played out. The players might not be playing golf, but the coaches would. And that philosophy is what did in their quarterback.

The green bean Kettering kid on his linebacker control board got his shot. On a long pass call, the pasty and pastry-like defensive end controller shot around his blocker with a nice spinorama move and had a direct line on the Gen 3 QB. The rival QB controller saw the end coming in time and raced out of the pocket, but not before the end shot out a quick fire hand just enough to dislodge the ball. The QB was able to pick up the ball and there was little choice but to fall on it and risk being at the bottom of a potentially horrendous pile or just run with it; the controller chose the latter. There was always hope for a mad out-of-bounds sideline dash that was preferable to the pile bottom. By the time the controller got the quarterback to tuck the ball in and run, the linebacker was there and creamed the fragile shoulder as he had been trying to do all game. BINGO!

The Robocats had been playing superior defense all day, actually more so after the last several weeks, and, given that the Gen 2 backup QB was even more fragile and less accurate than the prized starter, things only got better, at least on defense. After the ensuing punt, Jess was at it again with a couple of minutes left in the 3rd. It was easy, almost too easy, 2 receivers open on every play. It came down to a choice between which one to throw too, nice options for a quarterback. If he made a mistake, it was going to be the new tight end controller over the sure-handed Antwan. The play had called for the receivers to hug the ends of the field in order to leave the middle open for the tight end, but Antwan had one-on-one and a limpy corner stumbled out of the gate leaving Antwan free and clear like Emancipation Proclamation Day; however, the tight end was just as open if not more so.

Since the play had been called for a straight pass down field to the tight end, in Jess’s defense, he complied with Rudy’s original call and hit the tight end precisely over the shoulder in full stride. That wasn’t the problem. The tight end caught the ball, but bobbled it some when the controller tried to secure it into the robot player’s gut. There it was, running in full confident strides for several yards like some weird overly-animated coin-operated circus clown, jiggling and juggling the ball though to all appearances by the spectators, it looked as though the player had secured the ball. Even Reynolds and Rudy who were closest to the giant monitor thought he had it. Even after replay review, the refs did not hesitate to call it a catch; in fact, it was about 95% secure, but not tucked in all the way. It was vibrating like one of those old fashioned electric football games with transformers and plastic players with magnetic bases.

When the corner that had been drafted to play safety came to make the tackle, the slightest contact caused the ball to pop loose even though the corner never came in contact with the ball. It was enough to bust up the knee of the corner that went in low and would be swept away after the play. The linebacker who had been several yards behind the galloping tight end didn’t even have to bother in trying to help with the tackle. It was actually fortunate for him that he was indeed so far behind. Rather than having to commit to the tackle, the controller got the ball in a nice clean hop, and promptly brought it back to the Robocat 13 yard line before Jess pushed him out of bounds. There was a collective groan from the entire Robocat control room during the fumble followed by an extra one when they saw their #18 quarterback get involved. Luckily, there were no other Numbskulls around to take a shot at Jess. Jess had saved a touchdown and the Robocat defense at least came in and didn’t allow a bad situation to become worse. They held New York to a field goal to go down 21-16 to the Numbskulls at the end of the 3rd quarter.

Jess’s dander was really up now and he was raring to go. He stood by Antwan at the break and said, “I’m getting sick of this crap.”

Antwan stared off in a different direction, “Follow me a sec, let’s get closer to the other toasters first.” Antwan didn’t want it to look like 2 guys talking in a sea of machines in front of 50 cameras and 66,000 rabid fans in the stands. When they got in a group with their own blue and silver colors, Antwan said, “Okay don’t look back at me or nod your head when you speak, got it?”

“Yeah.”

“Wassup?”

“Let’s you and me do this.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Everybody else keeps fumbling.”

“Yeah, tough luck, we should’ve scored 7 TD’s by now.”

“Can you get open?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean every play.”

“Maybe, I did see that corner go down.”

“Okay, cause I want to throw the ball to you every time.”

“Well, okay kid, I’ll do my best.”

“Let’s improvise,” said Jess, “A little backyard stuff. If you’re covered short, go long. If I roll your way, just find a spot. Screw this quick pass shit all the time.”

“Okay kid, they’re spotting the ball.” Antwan sort of shook his head. He hadn’t seen Jess like this before, both pissed off and confident! He liked it, kid was showing some guts.

Aside from a run or two mixed in by Ichiro, Jess was true to his word, hitting Antwan with everything but the kitchen sink, down and out, hitch and go, quick slant, scramble plays with little more than a nod, overthrowing him out of bounds if he was actually covered, but the secondary of New York was almost as bad as Arkansas and Daytona. They weren’t playing Gen 1’s but the Gen 3 secondary players were all gone, and the Gen 2’s were running like ancient AMC Gremlins and Pacers or Chevettes, they were still road worthy, but living on borrowed time before the grim reapers from the scrap and junk yards came calling. Like clockwork, every 3 plays was a run to Ichiro and 2 passes to Antwan though one pass would be thrown incomplete rather than risk an interception. Antwan caught every other one, tucked it, and didn’t get too crazy after the catch, a quick out of bounds or he purposefully hit the ground after contact.

At first and goal from the 3, Jess audibled an option play that Rudy and Reynolds nearly had collective heart attacks on, but it was too late to protest, and to the shock of everyone, Jess ran it in to the end zone untouched! It was as good as a surprise as New York’s fake field goal. The controllers for the defenders had all crowded up on Ichiro’s #21, believing that Michigan would not dare hang their quarterback out to dry like they had just done, successfully at that. For the 2 point conversion, Jess relented with a called play by Rudy to the tight end, he figured that he had really pressed his luck with the coaches on the option play. Given what happened on the last drive, the entire defense concentrated on Antwan and Ichiro’s player. A fake handoff right to #21, another fake throw to Antwan left, and the tight end slipped through for an easy toss from Jess. Michigan regained the lead 24-21 early in the 4th and would not relinquish it.

The Gen 2 backup QB for New York could do nothing and the Robocats stopped the Numbskulls on their next possession. On Michigan’s next drive, Jess still relied on Ichiro and Antwan, but reluctantly threw a couple of passes at some wide open receivers when Antwan was covered, but only along the sidelines. He stated emphatically to Rudy that they go out of bounds immediately or he wouldn’t throw to them. The Numbskull secondary had been devastated as the Robocat players were both quicker and faster. Jess would end up with a 422 yard passing game, by far his best ever in the RFL by a good 100 yards and a new RFL playoff record. The final score was Michigan 31 New York 21, but it should never have been that close.

In the other semifinal, Texas knocked off Chicago 49-24. Like New York, the Chicago Gen 3 QB had survived into the 3rd quarter, but they were behind and the Tin Cans got to it. The Tin Cans suffered some too, but their quarterback was intact; still, there were a few Gen 3 players that they would not be able to get back on the field despite the fact that there was a full 2 weeks before the Cosmic Bowl. Texas did however have two advantages; one, they had more spare Gen 3 parts than any other team, and two, they would have another home game and would not lose precious time riding a train. Reynolds, especially with the help of Dino, had discovered another Gen 3 weakness, the hip rotator in the secondary units. With another week off in between, they would have the opportunity to get all of their players healthy, a slight advantage over Texas; nevertheless, that was only one intangible among many, after all, anything could happen in a single game.

“How many lepers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to screw it in, and the other to give him a hand.”

Antwan Randall Jackson