Roachville

Chapter 35. Dijon Mustard and More Insects



The sun lit my steps on the way to Vi and Bek, and it was still shining hard in the crowded back garden. I greeted the few people I knew. Pippa and Matti who worked with Bek sat on small camping chairs. They nodded at me and looked on as if they were perched on a very tall tree. A loud skinny guy was gesticulating near them and they kept nodding at him, too. A small group of people gathered near Bek. He was flipping meat by the barbeque, while telling a story with wild gestures. I grabbed a burger from a cardboard plate and shoved it inside a bun with poppy seeds. There was no Dijon mustard on display and that made me a little bit sad, but only assholes feel sorry for themselves. So I went into the kitchen and found a small jar hidden in some recess of the fridge door. I had put it there myself a few months ago for this very kind of emergency. As I smeared the yellow paste on one side of the burger, Vi bubbled in and I yanked her by the arm before she could flutter back into the garden.

‘Hey, who are all these people?’ I asked, my mouth full of burger.

She looked at me, goggle-eyed and replied after a few seconds of uncertainty. ‘Hey, there you are!’ she beamed and processed my question. I munched on the burger.

‘Do you know what, I don’t fucking know!’ She laughed. ‘But isn’t it a great party!’

‘Yeah…’ I replied and before I had time to shrug, she disappeared out of the room, carried away by her long skinny legs.

The party proceeded with its loud music and guests. I made small talk with miscellaneous people and I was quite successful at it. But after a while I didn’t have the energy, and I found myself near Vi and Bek’s tiny pond in one of the corners of the small garden. Clouds kept on flying high above our heads and I’d had a bit to drink and smoke over the last couple of hours, so I couldn’t say if I was drunk or sad. I wanted to go home but I didn’t want to be alone. At the same time I would have been quite happy to float away from Vi and Bek’s busy garden. Maybe mixing Ibuprofene and weed wasn’t such a great idea…

I noticed a movement under the fleshy plants by the pond. It must have been a cute shrew snuffling around. I trained my eyes on the trail of moving vegetation. As it got very close to me, I didn’t move a muscle and the small creature poked its tiny head and really odd whiskers.

‘Fuck!’ I jumped up, dropping my glass and bumping into someone. It was no shrew, but a giant cockroach invading my friends’ garden. Feeling hypnotised and very conscious of the naga in my rucksack, I became aware of my surroundings melting into nothingness. All that mattered was this huge insect directing its antennas towards me and sending off menacing vibes. I stamped on it again and again and again, until the cockroach’s body stopped moving and it had become almost indistinguishable from the soil. I kept my eyes on the corpse because I knew how resilient these beasts were. I flinched as Bek rested his hand gingerly on my shoulder.

‘I think you should stop now, you’re freaking people out,’ he whispered.

I looked up at the silent crowd. So many eyes staring at me.


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