River

Gregor’s

My poor darling is more shattered by today’s events than I could have imagined. Even though everything turned out fine, Mason is gone, Rosalind is safe, Jake will survive, Gregor is horrified with what has happened.

He blames himself for laying a pointless trap. He blames himself for involving Jake. He blames himself most of all for his own arrogance in excluding Rosalind from his plans.

He is slowly calming. His outburst was cathartic, a flooding release of the emotional turmoil that he has been suppressing for decades. His love for Rosalind has untethered the tight control that he usually maintains over himself, and has brought to him more keenly than in a long time the sense that, ultimately, he is only human.

It is healthy for him, and as much as I am grieved that he went through such anguish while he feared for her safety, I feel that he will be refreshed now, not so tightly wound.

I have other news to share, of the others who were involved in today’s altercation, but I am waiting for him to be ready.

Finally, he gets the sense that he has held Rosalind captive on this bed for long enough. She must be tiring of this, he feels.

“No, actually, darling, she is prepared to be patient for just as long as you need. Although, truthfully, with her pregnancy she finds that she needs to more frequently urinate, and is wondering if she will be able to do so any time soon.”

That does it. He is mortified to think that his clinginess might be causing her any discomfort. He gives her one last squeeze, then sits up. “I think I am finally calm now, Rosalind. Thank you. I am sorry for making such a scene.”

She rolls over and sits up next to him. There is nothing but love and acceptance in her eyes. “Please don’t apologize, Gregor, I understand why you were so scared.”

He touches her face. “I’m going to leave you here for a moment, let you freshen up if you need to.”

She is relieved, and soon after he leaves she pulls out the chamber pot and is actually relieved. She places the pot back into the cupboard of the commode, where she knows the servants will come soon to empty it. This was a duty she used to perform at the brothel, and it still makes her feel somewhat abashed that others are now tending to her in this way, but Gregor has made it clear that the servants will handle it. They certainly don’t mind, it is an expected part of the responsibilities of household servants.

As Gregor is making his way downstairs to check on Samuel and Jake, I tell him, “Darling, something else has occurred which you should be aware of.”

“Oh god, what now?” he moans internally, and rather than proceeding into the parlor where he knows the guests are waiting, he diverts into his study. His pistol is on the desk, where Moses had placed it after retrieving it from the ground outside, along with Mason’s knife. Gregor looks with distaste at the blade lying on his desk. “Is Mason back?”

“No, I don’t anticipate hearing from Mason again, not for a long time. His injury was serious, and he will be occupied trying to heal from that before he can return to his criminal enterprise.”

“Good. What is it then?”

“It is about Ben.”

“Oh yeah,” he thinks, “he had run along with me, hadn’t he? I almost forgot. Did he go home?”

“No, darling, I’m afraid that he has been arrested.”

“What?”

“Samuel, Thomas and Henry had seen you running past their places of business in town, and ran behind you to see if they could assist. By the time they arrived, you had already gone inside with Rosalind.”

He nods, having more or less understood this.

“Henry had not seen Ben in town before. He does not gamble Under-the-hill, and has had no opportunity to encounter him. Therefore, when he got here today, and Ben was kneeling next to Samuel while he tended to Jake, it was the first time he had seen him.”

Gregor does not see the import of this for a moment, but then realizes what this must mean. “Oh, no. He recognized him?”

“Yes. Samuel had not remembered Ben’s face, but Henry certainly did. When Thomas told him that Mason was the brigand involved in his robbery, and he looked more closely at Ben, he realized that Ben had also been a part of it. He immediately told Thomas that Ben is a member of Mason’s gang and must be apprehended.”

“Oh, dear. Did he deny it?”

“He remained entirely silent, even when Samuel gazed pleadingly at him, waiting for him to refute the accusation. So Thomas has taken Ben away and placed him in the militia jail, and is consulting with the other militia captain in town to determine what should be done.”

“Samuel must be crushed.”

“Yes. So is Ben.”

Henry

I help Samuel carry the little boy inside Gregor’s house and get him settled on the sofa in the parlor. His manservant came back across the street to tell us that we should come inside to care for the child. Gregor and Rosalind are upstairs.

The boy has come to, thankfully, and Samuel says that he has a concussion but should recover. The poor little lad feels very ill, with a headache and queasiness. Apparently he has no family to take care of him, being a kitchen boy at one of the businesses Under-the-hill. We aren’t sure quite yet what we are going to do with him, and until Gregor and Rosalind have come back downstairs that question will have to remain open.

Apparently he was injured when the brigand struck him. He is lucky he was not killed. Mason has been the scourge of the whole area for quite some time, and punching a child in the face seems like it was nothing at all for him.

I feel shaken to have learned that it was actually Mason and his gang that accosted Samuel and I on the Trace earlier this year. I have heard all the rumors of the infamous Mason, and have always felt relieved to know that although our incident was alarming, at least it wasn’t the most frightening villain in the area. But, as it turns out, it actually was.

It shifts my perception of reality to know this.

Samuel is strangely quiet, seeming upset. I wonder if it is just because he is unnerved by having to tend to a child who had been accosted by the brigand, but Samuel is a doctor. I don’t think a concussion would be all that upsetting to him.

I sense that it is something else, but he has resisted my gentle prodding and remained silent on the topic. I wonder if it is also the shock of learning that the Mason gang had been the culprits in our attempted robbery. Or, it is possible that he is simply affected by the events of today. Granted, this entire day has been unsettling to us all. Very well, I will leave him be.

After a while, I feel that I must return to the mercantile which has been left untended for quite a while, coming up on two hours. I hope I remembered to lock the door behind me - I’m not sure. “Samuel, if you have everything you need for now, I’m heading back into town. I need to get back to work.”

He sighs and nods. “Yes, go ahead.”

Samuel Duncan

Ben.

Did I ever really know him?

Not truly. He never shared many stories of his background, and I never pressed him. All I really know about him is that since he was a teenager, he and David have been Kaintucks, working flatboats down the river then walking back up the Trace. His dock job now for Gregor is the first time that he has done anything else.

Except, apparently, highway robbery.

I watch the boy, Jake, to make sure that he seems comfortable. He really doesn’t, he is grimacing from his headache, but hopefully he will have some relief from that soon. Gregor’s housekeeper has followed my instructions to make tea with the willow bark that I still am carrying in my bag, and I have encouraged Jake to drink the whole cup. In a few minutes he should feel a little better. In the meantime I have him lying still, with a cool cloth covering his eyes to block out the painful light. I have nothing to do at this point but wait, until the boy is feeling better, and until Gregor comes back down the stairs so we can talk about where Jake should go while he recovers. A brothel does not seem the best place.

In the meantime, my mind continues to grapple with the shocking news about Ben.

I have wracked my brain, trying to remember the details of the day on the Trace. And the more I remember, the more I realize that Henry is right. It is really true.

I remember meeting his eyes, as he grasped the bridle of my horse, preventing me from escaping. I hadn’t realized it before, but it seems so obvious now. The brown eyes I see in my memory, staring up at me in the rain with the oddest expression of shock, they are Ben’s eyes.

And of course, I remember now, that when Gregor first confronted them, he called them by name. “David? Ben?” he asked. “What are you fellows doing here?”

I hear it so clearly now, remember hearing his accent for the first time, remember my astonishment as the scene unfolded.

How can I have been so blind the last few months?

But even more dismaying, how can Ben have hidden it from me?

I know that he knew. I know that he remembered me from the Trace. When Henry accused him, he did not look astonished, he looked like his worst fear had just come true. He looked at me, pleading, his eyes clearly begging me to forgive him for lying to me. For deceiving me. For using me.

How can I?

Was anything we have shared real? Or was it all some ploy, some scheme, even some unfolding plot of Mason’s? Was Ben still working with him? Mason has been in Natchez, that much is clear, at the same time as Ben.

And David as well. I know that Ben has been arrested, taken away by Thomas, but I don’t think anybody else knows about David. He is genuinely sick with blood poisoning. I wonder about the tavern fight that left him with the wounds. Did that involve Mason as well? I don’t know what to do about it. Should I go tend to him? Ben can’t, he’s in jail. Should I send the authorities to arrest him?

I am paralyzed with indecision, and utterly heart-broken.

I had thought our love was real.

But now, I know our entire relationship was based on a lie.

None of it was real.