Chapter 18
It is truly amazing how much can spread in a matter of minutes. It is fairly early in the morning. In fact Elenora had purposely left the cabin early to avoid being late though that didn't help at all. Going off the sun alone Elenora would say she's going on an hour late. Her first day is already terrible and it hasn't even started. Not to mention Marcella wanted to shift right away and so she'll be showing up to work in a mans shirt with a pair of boxers. That's just perfect.
"How did you know Mathew Collins?" Beta Burton breaks what had been a blissful silence between them.
Elenora keeps her eyes forward and tries not to yell at him for his purposely slow pace. She can't even go ahead of him. Not with the pack fully awake and watching her. All eyes follow them and Elenora can hear them whispering about her. She can hear them make assumptions about Nakoa and her. She can hear their speculations on whether she is his mate. She can hear their insults. She can hear their judgement. She can hear them saying she will be the doom of their pack. Elenora cannot help but agree. Vermont is out there. He wants to hurt her and the moment she showed up at the border and spoke to Nakoa in front of several warriors, the secret came out.
Vermont will know by the end of the day. "I stumbled across him just after I became a rogue. He was traveling south for a speech and he stumbled across me. I guess he saw something in me and he wanted to help."
"Why did you become a rogue? Were you exiled?"
Does the why even matter at this point? Elenora had left five years ago. What happened to her was tragic. It truly was. Except the why stops mattering when you factor in the bad she had done. First and far most. As a rogue Elenora had lived in paranoia. She was a terrible mother to Charlotte and though Charlotte seems to have forgiven her for the distance, they are two strangers living together at this point.
There is this wall between them Elenora doesn't know how to break down. Elenora believes she made the right decision when it came to keeping Charlotte in the pack but maybe she could have wrote her more. Elenora had called occasionally to check and make sure Charlotte was well taken care of but rarely did she speak to Charlotte directly. Letters to Charlotte were rare and always short and to the point. She could have been a better mother to Charlotte. Rogues are better mothers than she was. Mistake number one.
Mistake number two. Elenora had killed many. More than she can count. More than she can remember. More than she wants to remember. Some of them were innocent. Some of them were just like her. Trying to survive. Too scared to trust. Sometimes Elenora wonders what might have been the case if she met Mia a couple years later. Would she have forgotten everything Mathew had taught her? Would she have killed Mia too? Out of a blind fear? "The why stops mattering after a couple of years Beta Burton."
"Doesn't the why always matter? I would think you of all people would defend those who have been abused." His eyes seem to go straight to the scars that mare my body.
"Why should I of all people defend what happens out there? It is cruel at best." Now it could just be Elenora but it seems to her as if everybody around them is eavesdropping on this conversation. For example. Elenora swears that the man around the corner has been following them for the past five minutes and he hasn't flipped the page in his book once.
Marcella seems to whisper in her head. Maybe they want to know who their Luna is. It is such an odd thing. Mia being able to communicate with her wolf is normal. Elenora connected to her wolf in any way is rare at best. It almost never happens. "Respectfully speaking Beta Burton I am late, exhausted, and this morning is not going how I wanted it to go. I expected to be at work but instead the entire pack seems to know the one thing I wanted to keep a secret and you're beating around the bush with questions you don't even care to know my opinion on. Get to it."
"I want to know the opinion of my future Luna." He corrects. Elenora resist the urge to tell him she might not even be his future Luna. "But you are correct. What I truly want to know is how long you plan to deny the obvious bond? Do you plan to string him along? Toy with him?" Elenora doesn't respond and so the Beta continues "What happened to Mathew Collins was absolutely tragic. The entire pack will agree with you on that Miss but I doubt it's the only thing holding you back."
He is right but under no circumstance will Elenora tell him that. Mathew dying at the hands of Nakoa is one thing she will never forget. Except if Mathew were here he would kill her if she used him as an excuse. Mathew being killed hurts. It really hurts. He had gotten her through a tough time and he had taught her the good aspects of being a rogue. One particularly hard night he had stopped her from chugging down a cup of pure liquid aconite. It would have killed her wolf and maybe even her.
He is not the true reason she denies Nakoa though it would be so much easier to use him as the excuse. Except to do so would be awful. Nakoa's hurt at the border is fresh in her mind. He had definitely remembered Mathew and it seems to have hurt him more than she thought it did. "I am not trying to toy with him Beta Burton." Elenora finds herself whispering. She clears her throat and speaks louder, more sure of herself. "I am trying not to hurt him. I am not deaf. I hear the whispers trailing behind us as we walk." And just like the the whispers stop. The staring only increases. The guy with the book decides that he has already been caught so he might as well stare outwardly. Beta Burton looks around silently, glaring his disapproval toward the people of this pack.
"Surely a bit of gossip isn't enough to intimidate a rogue." Beta Burton eyes her and he waits for Elenora to throw something else out. An excuse. She simply tells him the truth.
"They are right Beta Burton. I am a danger to this pack. I might even be the downfall of it. Unfortunately the word is already out now. By nightfall everybody in the Kingdom will be whispering about Nakoa Bardrick finding his mate. Everybody will know it is a tall scarred rogue. Everybody. Including my enemies.
"Is that what you fear?" Beta Burton looks at her as if he wants to laugh. As if it is a petty little fear. After all the enemies of a rogue are limited. Packs that can be talked to. Paid off. Maybe a stray rogue here and there, insistent on getting revenge. Nothing a pack like the Bloodmoon can't handle. The Bloodmoon pack are close allies with the King. In fact it is said that the King had watched Nakoa as a child, taught him to play chess. It is said that the King hoped Nakoa would be his daughters mate.
For a moment Elenora finds amusement in that. The King wanted Nakoa as a son. He wanted Nakoa mated off to his daughter so he could be close family. Now it is Elenora, a rogue, stealing Nakoa from that dream of the Kings. Elenora can't help the want to drag Nakoa to the Kingdom. She wants to insist they do the mating ceremony there just so she can kiss him in front of the King himself. Screw the King! "This is it Beta Burton." Elenora tells him instead of answering his question. She steps into the shop without another word and slams the door in the Beta's face. Fergus is right there waiting for her. He sets down his book and eyes her from head to toe.
"Alright you might not be used to having a job dear, but usually it is wise to dress professionally." Fergus eyes her up and down "If you go downstairs dressed like that Cadence will be furious." Elenora has yet to meet Cadence, the girl she is supposed to work with. She sounds like she'll be unpleasant. Then again, few would think Elenora is pleasant to be around either.
"My wolf wanted to shift right away this morning. Usually I would deny her wishes but I am already denying her want to see her mate." Elenora hadn't meant to say that but there is something about Fergus that makes her chatty. Something in his warm eyes and kind smile. It makes her far more open than she should be.
"Ah I heard about the situation at the border." Of course he did. Fergus must have seen something on Elenora's face because he laughs, a fully belly laugh "Word travels fast when it comes to mate bonds dear. Especially one such as yours. Nakoa Bardrick is no lowly Alpha to a small pack dear. Your bond is a big deal." With that he ushers her to a pile of clothes in the back. Nothing real fancy. A simple dress. The bad thing about dresses is how much they show of her flawed skin. The neckline is not really deep but it is low enough to show that a wolf had clawed over her collarbone. The scars are deep. You can see wear the whip touched her shoulders before dragging down her back. You can see where a wolf bit into her beneath the right knee. Another bite from a larger wolf at her left angle. For a moment Elenora stares at her reflection. The dirt from the forest used to hide the scares fairly neat and she didn't dare look into the warped reflection of the rivers after she bathed. She didn't want to see what the pack did to her body. The scars will never go away. Only fade.
"Do you have any shoes Fergus? Boots perhaps?"
"Only clothes! I can go buy you some if you would like?" No she shouldn't. Besides she had never cared what they thought of her before? Why should she start? Let them see how she had suffered. Let them see the way she had risen above it. Let them see how Vermont failed to break her. Let them see her power.
"No that is alright. This will do fine." She manages. Elenora sneaks pass Fergus and heads straight down. She doesn't want to see pity from her boss. She doesn't want to risk the sadness that usually comes along when people see her scars. Elenora finds the white room downstairs quickly. The girl waiting for her is beautiful but ghostly in a way. Her skin is almost as pale as the walls while her eyes are the type of blue you didn't know could be an eye color. So light. Lighter than the eyes of a blind wolf. Her hair is a dark contrast to her skin. Dark as the sky without the moon and stars. It floods down her back, past her butt. Long and silky. She's tall and she moves as a snake might.
She eyes Elenora, her eyes flashing. They move over her scars. Assessing. "I am Cadence and you are very late." She starts by saying "I expect you to show up two hours early tomorrow. That means four o'clock on the dot. That said you better have the required herbs in hand when you do show up at four. I will have a list ready for you before you leave. Today you will be studying said herbs. You will not leave here until you know exactly where to look for the herbs, what they do, and how to prepare them. Your desk is right there in the corner." Said desk is filled to the brim with dust, trash, and cobwebs.
Still Elenora nods before moving towards it to start cleaning. Cadence doesn't seem to care much for her name and so she doesn't bother introducing herself. "What are you doing?" Cadence snaps from her corner just as Elenora had grabbed the trashcan. "Clean in your own time! Not mine. Read that book. Learn the herbs. Then you can clean." Elenora's first instinct is to argue. She doesn't. Instead she breathes in. She breathes out. She does not light the pale skin girl on fire as Marcella insist she does. She grabs the book and reads.