Rising from Dust

Zarafa slept fitfully that night, pain and sorrow raging in her heart as her mind replayed Dalwork’s reaction of disgust when she revealed what she was. Curse that vampire, she thought to herself as she tossed and turned in bed, reflecting on the stranger who had turned her back on Ponorama. If he’d never turned me, I wouldn’t be such a disgusting, loathsome creature. I wouldn’t know the pain of working to improve my self-esteem only to have it torn apart with one look from a handsome man I’d only just met. Why did he decide to turn me instead of just killing me outright? That seems a far kinder fate than facing down an eternity of loneliness and misery. Heaving a sigh, she adjusted her pillow and flipped to her other side once more. At least when others hated me for being a beggar, that was more in my control. Being a vampire has nothing to do with me or my choices. I have no choice but to survive off of the blood of the living.

By the time evening came, she realized she wasn’t going to get any sleep- not even the one hour she usually needed. Sighing, she dragged herself out of bed and began to get ready. Like it or not, she was practically immortal, so she’d best find a way to deal with that. And the only way she knew how was to work with the Higher Power and aim ever higher in the chain of command.

Her best option to do that now was to find the Dragon child. If she had ended up on First Earth, she would find her.

As she gathered food to eat before she went out with the Dorff, a knock sounded at the door. Zarafa’s stomach instantly became a knot of anticipation and dread. No one had ever knocked on her door before. There was only one person it could be.

Summoned by the sound, Rosulkip and Gordlf came running toward the door at the same moment Zarafa did. Pushing them out of the way with her foot, she reached out and tugged the door open before she could squash the flutter of hope in her chest. Dalwork’s head had been lowered toward the ground, and he looked up at her as the door opened, his stunning blue eyes causing her heart to stutter and nearly stop. Giving her a charming half-smile, he extended a hand to her. Noticing the flowers held there for the first time, her heart utterly melted. She knew from watching First Earth’s movies that this was a highly romantic gesture, and often used when a guy meant to give a huge apology to a girl.

Fidgeting a little, Dalwork extended the flowers further until she finally accepted them from him. “Dalwork… what…?”

“I’m so sorry,” he began, looking at her face intently, his eyes sparkling with deep emotion. She doubted he’d even noticed the small pink and red monsters watching him through her legs like children. “I know I had a terrible reaction to your… vampirism.” To his credit, the shiver he said at the word was barely perceptible this time. “I’d like a chance to explain myself, if I may.”

“If all you have is an explanation, then I’m afraid I’m too busy to receive it,” Zarafa curtly replied, subconsciously clutching the bouquet to her chest. “I was just about to head out and look for the girl.”

“Ah, well perhaps we can search together,” he offered, looking at her hopefully. “I… really do care for you, Zarafa. Enough that I believe you can help me work past my prejudices about vampires. If you’d be willing to give me a second chance, of course.” His look was so earnest she couldn’t help but agree.

“Alright, fine.” She quickly put the flowers in a glass of water and invited Dalwork in to have dinner with her. When his face went a little pale at the suggestion, she sighed. “I eat normal food too, you know. If I eat enough of it, I don’t need much blood to be healthy. I swear it’s just the regular, run-of-the-mill First Earth food.”

“Of course,” he replied, finally stepping into the house. “My apologies. I don’t know much about vampires and the way they live.”

“Why do you hate vampires so much, anyway?” she cautiously asked, pulling out a plate and glass for him to join her. “It’s not like humans don’t also eat other living creatures.”

Dalwork’s face grew ashen and he avoided her gaze, but began putting together a sandwich for himself as she did the same. After a moment, he spoke. “A vampire killed my mother.”

“Oh… I’m so sorry,” she murmured sympathetically. As she chewed, she felt bad that she couldn’t really relate. She never knew her parents, and she’d never even given much thought to what had happened to them. Ponorama was a dangerous place to live. Orphans were more prevalent there than any other realm, though Zelon came close. Thinking about it more, she couldn’t help but add more. “Does Zelon not have human-on-human violence, though? I know it’s nowhere near as bad as on Second Earth, but it also isn’t unheard of.” When he didn’t reply and kept his gaze on his sandwich, she pressed on. “There are bad eggs in every species. I doubt that vampire killed your mother because of being a vampire. Vampirism doesn’t change who you are.”

Dalwork slowly raised his gaze and looked at her, his face softening a little as he considered her words. Finally, he gave her a tiny smile. “All the same, I’d rather not talk about it any longer.”

“Alright.” After that, they ate in silence, though she could feel his deep blue eyes staring at her the whole time. She tried not to stare back, but took him in through her peripherals. The longer he looked at her, the softer his eyes became. She was surprised, but elated he seemed to be looking past her vampirism. She felt much better by the time they left to look for the child thanks to Dalwork’s apology, explanation, and his decision to continue to get to know her.

They visited every hospital, every orphanage, every place in the area they could think of to look for the Dragon child. Nothing. They searched until it got too late and the rest of the world went to bed. When they parted ways that night, they promised to get together to search again the next day.

After a few weeks, they grew closer and closer. Before long, though, the search area had expanded, and there wasn’t enough time to search and come back before the sun rose. So instead, she sent the Dorff to accompany Dalwork, figuring if there was a magic trail to follow, they would be able to sniff it out.

After a few months, Zarafa felt she needed to call it. The child was not on First Earth. Surely a baby that magically appeared out of nowhere and had dragon eyes wouldn’t be that hard to find. Then again, no one had yet found Crystal in any of the other realms either. Still, despite what her superiors insisted, she no longer had the heart to continue a search that felt pointless. The child was gone, without a trace. Even the Dorff had been unable to sniff her out, and they could smell for miles and track the paths that magic left for up to a month after the magic had faded. She simply wasn’t here.

Or maybe that’s just what she told herself so she didn’t feel so guilty going to see Dalwork every night.

At first, she hated that she couldn’t break away from him and his magic-like pull, but now she relished in how he made her feel. She felt truly treasured with him, in a way even the Higher Power hadn’t valued her. Smiling as she sat beside him on the stairs leading to his house, she thought of how different she was now from the beggar girl from Ponorama. That Zarafa had never dreamed of a love like this; she had hardly even dreamed of anyone not hating her very existence. She had been weak, dirty, and desperate; always on the hunt for a scrap of food.

And now... she was powerful, and she knew it. A confidence she never thought could be attached to her had become hers. And now, with Dalwork, it felt like an even better future than the one the Higher Power had dangled before her.

“What are you thinking about?” Dalwork murmured, his thumb caressing the back of her hand. The simple gesture still sent shivers down her spine. It was in the small things that his love for her showed through.

“How lucky I am that my bleak path, filled with turmoil and challenges, fear and pain... led me here. To you,” she smiled, scooting closer to him, allowing their bodies to press together.

Smiling, Dalwork pressed a kiss into her hair. “That it has. I love you, you know.”

“I love you too,” she whispered through a smile that almost hurt, it was so big. Lifting her face, she smiled at him, only allowing her mouth to relax when he pressed his lips against hers in a kiss sweet, yet burning with a passion like she’d never known.

Finally pulling away, he looked caringly down at her. “Zarafa, dear, would you meet me for a midnight meal at the top of the hill near your house? In a few days.”

“I have to wait for three days?” she teased. “What are you planning?”

“That, I cannot say,” he murmured before giving her a smile meant to ease her worries. “I must simply attend to some business. But I promise you, I will make it worth your while.”

“Alright, fine,” she sighed, giving in to his request, resting her head on his shoulder. “I trust you.” And she did trust him, but waiting those few days was still difficult for her. Her mind played with multiple different situations that could happen, but the most prevalent was the concern that he was going to break it off with her. Their superiors didn’t know about their relationship yet... at least as far as she knew. Maybe one of them approached Dalwork and told him to end it. Or maybe despite his feelings for her, he couldn’t move past the fact that she was a vampire. He’d been doing increasingly well with it, but she felt it was still a possibility.

Zarafa couldn’t help but wring her hands as she watched the clock, waiting for the appointed time to meet Dalwork. He had instructed her, in no uncertain terms, to not arrive before midnight. She didn’t know why he was suddenly being so punctual. He was normally excited to see her at any time of the day or night. His sudden return to formality made her nervous. Perhaps this was all a ploy, and he would be turning her in to one of their superiors for giving up on looking for the lost Dragon child.

The clock hit midnight, and she began the walk from the house to the appointed hill. Her steps felt unsteady to her as she went, as though she were walking to her end.

Perhaps she was.

Breathing irregularly, she swallowed and forced herself to climb the hill, keeping her gaze focused on her feet, her thoughts directed to thinking about how tight her chest felt. Then her throat began to burn as though holding back tears. Gulping, she steeled herself. She was strong and capable now. She could certainly handle whatever was going to happen between her and Dalwork tonight.

“Zarafa.” His voice was light and caring, causing her chest to ease it’s squeezing. Maybe everything will be fine... Raising her gaze, she found him standing in a circle of flowers, scattered flower petals, and candles.

“Dalwork? What... what is all this?” she asked in confusion but appreciation as she stopped in front of him.

“Zarafa, I may be but a human, but I believe that you are the love of my life.” Breathing hard, he slowly got down on one knee. Zarafa watched him in confusion.

“What...”

“Zarafa... will you marry me?” he stammered out, pulling a black velvet box from his pocket and holding it up to her before opening it. A large jewel twinkled in the moonlight against the black background. Taking it from him with trembling fingers, she confirmed that it was a ring. Just like the ones in the shows she watched when a man proposed to a woman.

Her throat burned once more, and tears welled up in her eyes. The issue of a vampire-human coupling had occurred to her before. He would die centuries before she would, leaving her all alone. Not to mention she would never be able to give him children... and they would have to leave society once he became too much older than her.

Shifting her gaze from the box to Dalwork’s anxious face as he waited for her answer, she felt her heart soften at his look. How would she ever be able to tell him no? They’d just have to figure out the details later for how the engagement would work. Especially considering they both worked for the Higher Power, and would have to prove their relationship didn’t and wouldn’t affect their work.

Consequences or not, she knew her answer. “Yes.”

Looking immensely relieved, he jumped up and pulled her into his arms, and she relished him holding her tightly to his body, her heart feeling warm with happiness and contentment. Pulling back a little, she smiled as he kissed her. It wasn’t the happy ending she’d imagined, but maybe a relationship with Dalwork would give her the separation from her past that she craved. The Higher Power certainly didn’t seem to care to promote her any time soon.

When Dalwork finally released her, he took the ring from her and gently slid it onto the ring finger of her left hand. It felt odd since she’d never worn rings before, but she felt sure she’d soon grow attached to the ring and the feeling of wearing it in general. He then twined their fingers together, still wearing the biggest smile she’d ever seen on him, and began walking. He led her toward his house, and they talked about unimportant things, mostly just enjoying each other’s company.

The next few days passed in a blur. She felt happy and satisfied for most of it, until things would start to pop up in conversation or action and strife would begin to fester between them. Soon, they were in an outright fight regarding their future. It seemed odd, not to mention hurtful, to Zarafa that Dalwork would rather stay a human and grow old and die while she remained the same, rather than transition and be with her forever, their bodies staying young and strong for centuries.

“I thought our love was stronger than that,” she huffed, crossing her arms and looking at him in irritation to hide the hurt from displaying through her eyes or her voice. She had to be strong... or else she might break down in tears in front of him, and she refused to ever be that weak. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him enough to let her guard down around him, it was that she didn’t trust herself. Even when she was alone at the house with the Dorff, she kept herself as strong as possible. No tears. Ever. For any reason.

Dalwork, it seemed, was the biggest challenge she had ever had in that regard. Never had she been so close to crying. Not since Dexter rescued her, at least. But Ponorama Zarafa was in the past, where she belonged.

“I do love you!” Dalwork cried, pulling at his hair in frustration, making it agonizingly attractive. It wasn’t often that he didn’t have every hair combed into its perfect position. “If you claim our love is so strong, then why do you want to change me?”

“I don’t want to change you,” she argued back, her hands moving to her hips. “I want to preserve you so that death may never claim you. Why would it be such a horrible thing to be like me? I thought you’d moved past your hatred for vampires!”

Face hardening, he stared at her for a moment before finally letting the words spill forth, burning with the truth behind them. The painful truth that she had hoped never to face. “I love you. You know that. But... it’s not because of your vampirism. It’s in spite of it. You rise above the other vampires I’ve met, that much is certain, but... you’re still a vampire. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but a human life. I never want to be a vampire. Never.”

“N-not even for me,” Zarafa whispered, more to confirm his words than as a question.

Blowing out a breath, he let his gaze drop to the floor. “Not even for you,” he admitted, his voice husky with emotion. Tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, Zarafa turned away from him with a jerk and swept toward the door without a word.

If she had to cry, she wouldn’t do it in front of him, showing him just how deeply his words cut into her heart.

She made it back to her house before kicking off her shoes and collapsing onto the closest couch, shoulders shaking as the tears finally rushed out. She cried off and on for long enough that she lost track of time. It could have been hours, days, or even weeks after Dalwork’s painful revelation. All the while, she cursed herself for believing she had a chance at a happy ending with him. She’d lost sight of her goal to reach Dravyn’s side leading his Higher Power, and had now been hurt deeper than she’d thought possible. Though physically she was in pristine condition, somehow each breath hurt. Her chest was tight, and rather than pumping pain through her veins, her heart seemed to just spread her emotional devastation through her body.

She’d sworn her loyalty to the Higher Power. Her complete and utter devotion. By giving some of that devotion to Dalwork, she’d made herself unimaginably vulnerable. Resolving to never give anyone that kind of power over her again, she ignored every one of Dalwork’s messages and calls. He had hurt her in a way she’d never before fathomed. And she had no idea what to do about it.

Another blood binge. Nothing. Screaming in rage at the wall as she clawed her bed to shreds. No effect on the pain burning in her chest. Practicing with her weaponry. Still, nothing.

Nothing was able to distract her from the blow that love had dealt her. Never again, she swore to herself, tears again running down her cheeks, unheeded, as she glared into a carton of ice cream, a spoon clenched tightly in her hand. I am never falling in love again. It brings nothing but pain. Nothing. ...I am a creature incapable of being loved. And nothing will ever change that. I’m trapped in an eternity of loneliness and bitterness.

Her ring caught the light as she scooped another spoonful of ice cream, causing her to pause, staring at the glittering thing that had once made her so happy. Now it just reminded her of Dalwork’s incomplete, finite love in the wake of her infinite love for him.

Scowling, she pulled it off her finger but hesitated before throwing it. Finally, she sighed and stood, pushing the chair back. It was still only right to bring it back to him. But she refused to allow hope to creep back into her heart. He wouldn’t change his mind.

But she would still give him one final chance.

After a quick shower, Zarafa pulled her hair up, making sure to take the time to look extra nice tonight. This was her last chance to win Dalwork over completely, and she could not afford to screw it up. The ball was in his court after tonight. She just hoped he’d make the right choice. Otherwise... she wasn’t exactly sure what she’d do. All she knew was that she couldn’t lose him. She wanted it all. Having him back would heal her heart. She understood now that it was too late to prevent the pain. Losing him put a hole in her soul that would never be filled. If she wanted to remain strong and sure, she’d need him to fix that hole.

As soon as the sun dipped below the horizon, she set off. The sidewalks took her down the streets, hurtling her toward her heart’s final opportunity to be salvaged. It almost felt as though she arrived too soon, but Zarafa steeled herself, throwing back her shoulders and tipping her head up. She’d be coming at this from a position of strength... even if it was only on the outside.

Throwing open the doors, she strode inside. She glanced around, but she didn’t see him at first. When she sent out a small flash of magic, she pinpointed him in his study. Setting her face into a mask of indifference, she didn’t knock at his study door, but walked straight through. He was standing at his desk, looking down at the papers scattered across the surface through his reading glasses. Zarafa’s heart clenched at the sight. He was far too handsome for his own good, with his messed-up hair and glasses.

Clearing her throat, she walked up to the desk and slammed her hand down, leaving the ring there as she pulled away. He didn’t look up for a moment, his gaze focused on the ring. Finally, his gaze rose to meet hers, his eyes bloodshot and his face portraying his exhaustion. Straightening, he pulled off the glasses, tossing them onto the desk as he kept his gaze locked on her face. “So. That’s it, then.”

“Perhaps. Unless you’ve thought about my request?”

“What’s there to think about?” he gruffly replied, returning his gaze to the papers on his desk. “You know how I feel about you, but nothing could ever convince me to turn.”

“But-”

“Zarafa!” he snapped, looking up from the papers, his eyebrows furrowed. “I love you. You love me. Why is it such an issue that I’m human?”

She frowned lightly at him, fingering her silky, light green shirt. “You know why.”

“Aren’t a few decades enough for you?” When she didn’t reply, he turned and looked out the vast window behind him. He’d look anywhere but at her, it seemed. “I’ve told you how I feel. An eternity of bloodlust isn’t what I want. I’m sorry, but I’m firm in my decision.”

Zarafa stared at him, feeling desperation rise in her chest. No… that can’t just be it. I can’t live with this gaping hole inside of me. ...He’ll forgive me for doing it afterward. It isn’t as bad as he thinks it is, after all... Using magic to help her move quickly, she was at his side in the blink of an eye. Tears already running down her face, she pulled his head to the side, allowing her fangs to sharpen and pierce his artery. He gasped as hot blood began to seep down his skin and tried to struggle, but she was vastly stronger than him. Crying as she held him there, she let the magic flow from her as he grew weaker in her arms, spreading from the wound. Finally, she allowed him to slip from her fingers. His body fell to the floor with a soft thud, and she slid down beside him, clutching one of his hands in hers as she openly wept. The deed was done.

It would be a new beginning. For both of them.