SWNOVELS Chapter 25 ~ Wake Me When It's Over
Hopefully I will make a start to book three at some point this year
Who's been your favourite side character so far? I have to say, I really did love Padraig...may he rest in pieces...
Chapter 25: Wake Me When It's Over
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Thump.
Stutter.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
My body threw itself forward and my chest heaved with rasping breaths that burned my throat and sent fire down my lungs. Pitch black and silent, my lack of surroundings caused an anguished cry to leave my lips. I was still trapped in my own head after all, and ready to scream, to beg for an end beyond this end. . . until a quiet click sounded to my right, and a lamp flicked on.
Bright white flashed in front of my eyes before it dimmed to an orange glow. I held my breath, gaze moving from the lamp, to the pale hand touching it, up a muscled arm and to the short sleeve of a black shirt.
Dark hair surrounded angled features, and piercing blue eyes were weary and watchful. The lines around his mouth were more pronounced than I remembered too. No, that wasn’t right. The image I conjured in my head was from the dream, an imagining of what he might have looked like as a young, human man. The man before me now, staring at me as if I would suddenly bend backwards and start crawling up the walls, was my Atanas.
He relaxed slightly when all I did was stare, his hand falling from the lamp to the edge of the bed.
My tongue felt thick in my mouth and my throat dry and scratchy as I tried to mumble something in my daze. Reality felt more dreamlike than the mass of visions that had plagued me and so many questions fluttered around my head as scents and sounds bombarded my senses with the force of a bulldozer. Where were we? How long had I been out? What had happened?
The last thing I could remember, at least the last thing I was certain was real, was watching my maker die.
“It’s me, Shylah. Atanas.”
I blinked at him and the reaction only concerned him more, a deep frown pulling at his features. He pressed the back of his hand against my cheek and grumbled when I pushed the offending limb away.
“I know who you are, Atanas,” I croaked, a full body shudder taking over at the horrid scratchy sound to my voice. My hand flew up to my throat in concern, fingers grazing various bumps of badly knitted together flesh. The memory of being fed on came rushing back as strongly as if I was going through it again. A groan, or broken yowl, broke free.
More scars to add to my collection. More memories to haunt my sleep. Somehow, this was so much worse than all the rest. I could ignore the silver scars from Airell and his friends but this one. . .
Sitting slowly on the edge of the bed, Atanas stilled when I flinched. His expression softened as he watched me finger my new battle scar. “It still has a ways to heal. Una is keeping an eye on it.”
I nodded numbly. It was silly to be upset about something so superficial but tears filled my vision anyway and I looked away so Atanas couldn’t see. Eyes scanning the room to distract myself, I landed on the familiar wonky chest of drawers and matching wardrobe pushed against the dark red walls. Taking in the rest of the room, I realised the all of the furniture was ours. We were home. But how? Had I really been locked in my head for enough time to travel from Romania to Scotland?
“How long?” Peering back at my mate, I didn’t like the way his lips pressed into a grim line.
He ignored my question to ask one of his own. “How do you feel? Strong enough to feed? You’ll need blood straight from the vein or you’ll be in bed for weeks.” He crept a little closer, and I forced instincts down to allow him to sit beside me, his knee brushing against my duvet covered thigh.
“I feel. . .groggy,” I answered honestly. “I don’t remember how we got here, everything in my head is so confused. It felt like death, the silence and the dark. Then I went somewhere strange and I saw things. . .” Meeting his gaze, I noted the changes in him from the version in my dreams. “I saw you. I dreamt about what you looked like as a human and of all the horrible things you did with Leyla. It was if I was there with you, watching, acting along even though I didn’t know the script. There was more too, from before you, glimpses throughout all of history. So much death. . . Gods I must insane.”
Rubbing my face, I leaned back against the pile of pillows that surrounded me. There must have been dozens of them; huge feather pillows in silk covers, and small thick cushions that I was sure used to sit on the couch in one of the communal rooms downstairs. At my questioning look, Atanas picked one up, tracing the Latin words embroidered in gold over red.
“You had fits. Or at least, the vampire equivalent of them. We were worried you’d jacknife right off the bed if we didn’t pad you in. It’s what happens when we’re deprived of blood; the muscles start to contract, your body begins to eat itself.” Putting the cushion back down, he stood to attention. “I’m going to get you blood. I’ll let Shadow in, he’s been clawing at the door all day. Una is using magic to keep watch on your fits, she’ll be alerted if you have another one.”
“You aren’t going to tell me anything?” I frowned. I’d expected him to refuse to leave my side, to be overly touchy feely in a way I pretended annoyed me but actually made me feel cherished. Not this. Not shifty eyes, veiled words and the want to leave.
Smiling gently, he shook his head and leaned in to press a cool kiss against my forehead. I closed my eyes and savoured his scent, noting the sour tones of stress and worry that tainted it. Something was wrong. More than just my health. Something had happened and it was being hidden from me. If only I could get my mind to work properly then I might be able to figure out what it was.
“Once you’ve regained your strength, we can go over all you need to know.”
Well, that sounded ominous.
I was at least settled by the lingering glance he gave me before he glided over to the bedroom door. A small pulse through our bond assured me he didn’t want to leave my side. If he found out about Titus spiking my drinks with Airell’s blood, I could understand his want to have me feed under his eye. Straight from the vein, he’d said. I hoped I didn’t have to wait for him to hunt an unsuspecting human to bring back.
The door creaked as it opened and my eyes squinted against the bright light glaring in from the hall. I was certain I caught sight of two armoured backs facing me, one on each side of the door. Surely they weren’t guarding our bedroom?
Before I could call out to ask about it, I was distracted by the sleek black furball that darted across the carpet and leapt onto the bed with all the grace of a vampire. Tail curling in the air, a steady purr rumbled from deep within Shadow’s chest as he kneaded the duvet around my hip before rubbing his head against me. He’d grown in my time away. His head no longer appeared too big for his body and his scraggly fur had softened into an inky black sheen as smooth as silk to the touch.
“I hope you were a good boy,” I murmured even though it hurt to speak. “Do you know what’s going on around here?”
The cat let out a loud meow and I chuckled. “Òbh òbh. Is that so?”
Stretching up to see over the foot of the bed, my eyes narrowed at the four lengths of shadow streaking under the door. Yup. There were definitely warriors on the other side. And part of me feared it wasn’t just to keep things out. What else had I done while my mind was locked away in a twisted reality I’d created to escape my pain?
Shaking my head, I went to cross my legs to properly give Shadow the clap he deserved, maybe even a scratch behind the ear, but the moment I moved my leg, agony folded my body in half.
Atanas was right about the pillows. I was glad they were there as my every limb went stiff, muscles feeling as though they were being wound tighter and tighter to the point one of them would surely snap. No sound escaped my closed up throat, but somehow through magic, Una had been alerted. Not that I noticed her barrelling into the room to kneel beside me, her hands hovering over my contorting form while she chanted firmly. Shadow hissed and leapt of the bed but Una’s magic worked quickly, like a wash of cool water over searing skin.
I went limp at first, breathing heavily as my fingers twitched by my face. Drool soaked my cheek and the bedcovers but I couldn’t find it in me to care. Una had seen me in worse states.
“That one wasn’t as bad as the last one,” she said, remaining at my side. She waited for me to acknowledge her before helping me sit up, propping me against now scattered pillows.
“Thank fuck I can’t remember the last one then.” Pulling my sleeve over my hand, I wiped my face clean and levelled the witch with my best scowl. “Why are there guards outside my door?”
Una glanced over her shoulder at the closed door and waved a hand, but before an excuse could fly from her lips, an almighty howl rang down the hallway. The door rattled on its hinges and the walls reverberated through the thick walls. More than that though, it was as though the sound was coming from within me as well, a voice in my head crying out in desperation and terror.
“That’s not Gideon. . .” Narrowing my eyes accusingly at the shifty witch studying a loose thread on the bedding, I asked, “Una, who is that?”
She met my gaze but didn’t answer, full red painted lips sealed together with a neutral expression. “Atanas will be back soon.”
“Why are you hiding things from me? What can be so bad, you can’t tell me? You did bring Gideon back too right?”
“It isn’t my place-“
“I’m the queen!”
Her lips quirked but she shrugged almost sheepishly. “Not my queen.”
Gods, her insubordination irritated me more than it should have considering it wasn’t as if I'd had people following my orders for long.
I thought about submitting to her will because even that small parry of words had drained me of energy and I needed it to fight with my stubborn headed mate when he got back. Then the screaming started again, the walls vibrating as if they were being beaten by hammers. I feared it was Anna after having found out about Padraig, or another of our allies had succumbed to something during our battle. Whatever it was, I needed to know.
Throwing the cushions and pillows away, I dragged the heavy duvet off and swung my legs over the bed. A zing of pain froze me to the spot and I waited to see if my body would punish me for moving. My joints were stiff and pins and needles prickled my skin, but there was no cramping muscles or loss of sound thoughts.
Una stood and planted herself in front of me anyway with her hands on her hips. “You can’t leave this room, Shylah. You aren’t strong enough to sit up nevermind walk anywhere. Wait until you’ve fed and washed, you really stink.”
“Have you been ordered to keep me here?” I snapped, ignoring her jibe about my smell, happy when she huffed but shook her head. “Then get out of my way.”
Maybe it was the determination in my gaze, or the crackle around my fingers that told me they would be glowing with magic, but the witch sighed and stepped aside.
“I’m coming with you,” she stated, following me as I shuffled towards the door.
I grunted, too tired to speak when every breath was being used to put one foot in front of the other. The momentum of the door swinging open nearly threw my body to the side too but I managed to catch myself and stand upright by the time the shocked guards at the door spun round.
Cammi had a black eye that didn’t widen as much as it’s twin as she stared at my bedraggled ass barely standing up. I was glad to see her, and if in a better mood I might have said as much. Glancing briefly at her partner, an unamused Thierry offered a grimace, his eyes darting up and down my form.
A breeze around my legs made me glance down too. The soft shorts were almost invisible under one of Atanas’ shirts that hung off my frame. His scent was soaked into the fabric and I wondered if that was why I dreamt of him so vividly.
I held my hand up when Thierry opened his mouth. “Not a word. I won’t go back in. Point me in the direction of the wannabe Ban Sìth.”
My guards shared a look and I bristled before pushing past them and marching down the hall. This entire floor belonged to Atanas and I, or at least it had before we left, so who would he allow up here with us? Especially if they were as crazed and bloodthirsty as they sounded.
Cammi and Thierry continued to uselessly protest as I stopped outside a door with light splaying out from under it. Creaking floorboards and indecipherable muttering from a croaky voice from inside betrayed its occupancy.
The guards’ shouts doubled as I reached for the door handle. I growled when it would twist no more than a quarter of the way round. Locked. And more. My hands lit up and flickered in shimmering silver, tingling with the presence of magic. Wards too; Una’s, if I wasn’t mistaken. I was beginning to get a sense of the unique quality of her magic, a mix of familiar witchery and something other. Ailill, perhaps. A stronger magic than Xiaodan’s and yet as I probed with the unskilled magic of my own, I could feel the weaknesses, the chinks and gaps in the spell she'd woven.
Una flinched as one of her wards broke down enough that the door unlocked and I shoved it open before I lost control.
At first the room appeared empty. The bed in the corner was covered in a crumpled duvet, the pillow nearly falling off the side. One of the thick blackout curtains hung ragged from the pole to show glimpses of the dark night sky outside. Shattered glass covered the red carpet, some fragments in deadly long shards while others were so small they shimmered like spilt glitter in the streaks of moonlight.
A women screeched from inside a darkened cupboard in the far corner, then a pale blur flew straight towards me. Outreached claws sliced through the air and I stumbled back, but Una’s other wards held fast. Magic buzzed in the air as it stopped her in her tracks, flinging her back into the room. She hissed in fury as she hit the glass covered carpet and threw herself upright with heaving shoulders. From beneath a messy veil of golden hair, crazed eyes flickered between a moonlight on water silver and an icy blue. She stared at me with equal intensity, as if my presence brought back a little sanity, enough to want to take note anyway.
Frozen to the spot, I tried to find some similarity in our features but hers were screwed up in such a snarl, I was sure I couldn’t appreciate her true beauty.
Leyla, the one who started it all, sniffed the air, creeping closer with eerie grace that could only come from being alive from the beginning of time. Predatory and alluring, I forgot to breathe as she danced carefully to avoid cutting her feet. Her gaze moved down from my face and she began to laugh, a peel of bell-like delight that was as beautiful as it was terrifying. The healing scars throbbed as I caught sight of her fangs and I just knew she was thinking about what I tasted like as a pink tongue swept over ruby lips.
A mix of anger and fear shook through me. This was as close to staring death in the face as anyone could get. She made the number of lives I’d taken a drop in the ocean compared to the numbers she’d amassed.
“We should go back to your room,” Una advised, tugging on my limp arm.
“Why did he bring her here?” The question was forced out the band around my throat that squeezed tighter with every bout of laughter coming from the deranged goddess before me.
Una ditched her attempts to get me to move and stepped around me to slam the door shut, a burst of magic followed by the click of the lock sliding back into place. I could still hear her though, the giggles growing more manic by the second. Would the door really hold Leyla back if she wanted out? What if she only remained in her room because that’s where she wanted to be?
The thought sent a shudder up my spine. I never would have thought I’d wish I was back in those caves but I did, because I would have torn her heart out myself instead of all but offering her my throat.
“I told everyone to stay away from her room,” Atanas bellowed from the direction of the stairs. He stopped short when he saw me, his gaze darting between my clenched fists and the closed door.
Rage filled me at the accusation in his eyes, as of he could possibly be angry that I’d left our room. With newfound strength, I shoved my frozen guards out of the way and marched towards him. My hand flew out with such speed, the air whooshed and cracked as my palm connected with his cheek. His head whipped to one side with enough force that the tray he held rattled.
Someone behind us choked. A few painful seconds dragged by before Una quickly ushered Cammi and Thierry past us and down the stairs. She paused by Atanas as if to speak but then she glanced at me, shook her head and carried on.
Flexing my fingers, I pretended that the slap had hurt him as much as it still hurt me. My palm stung and tingled while my mate worked his jaw. My gaze dropped to the food he’d picked for me, and for some reason my anger only grew.
“I don’t like human food,” I snapped. “You know that. We had a whole conversation about my humanity, remember? Or now she’s here, have you forgotten? Maybe it’s not even for me, maybe it’s for her. Shall I pack your stuff and toss it in her room along with the box she must keep your balls-“
A thunderous growl cut me off. Dark blue eyes swirled with barely concealed rage that might have matched my own. He took a step closer so I was forced to crane my neck up to look at him.
“I understand that you’re scared and confused, and you’ve switched to offensive so you might hurt less, but remember who you’re talking to, Shylah. I am not a punching bag for you.” He let me see his fangs behind his lips and leaned in closer. “Lift a hand to me in front of our people again, and you won’t enjoy your punishment.”
Both of us now equally seething, I turned on my heel and marched back to our room. Each step sent a shooting pain from the sole of my foot straight up my leg to my spine until it reached my head where it pounded like someone was beating a drum right beside my ears.
Fuck him.
He was lucky all I did was slap him.
The bedroom door rattled against the wall as I swung it open, but by the time I collapsed on the bed again, I was devoid of energy. Atanas kicked the door shut behind him and I watched stiff hands place the tray on the bedside table. He straightened up slowly, and when stormy blue eyes cut to me, I pushed myself to sit up. Tension grew hot between us again.
My fingers curled into the sheets beneath me. “You should have killed her when you got the chance.”
Pain flashed across his face as his eyes darted away from mine. Voice tight, he nodded once, “Yes.”
His agreement caused me to falter. I studied his face with suspicion but all I could see was how tired he looked. Now my mind was clear of the fog of dreams, I noted the bags under his eyes, the overly tousled hair and the creases on his un-ironed shirt. A t-shirt none the less, and loose causal jeans in dark blue instead of his usual black.
“If you agree then why is she here?” I shook my head, replaying what I’d seen if the rabid vampiress down the hall. Her strength had struck me with fear. The way she’d looked at me, at what she’d done to my neck, and laughed as if it gave her pleasure. “I know that despite your hate for her, part of you still cares because she’s your maker. There was always a part of me that wished Airell would change so he could be the maker I needed. Is that why you can’t bring yourself to kill her?”
Atanas growled in exasperation. “Must we keep having the same fight over and over again? I’m not in love with her, I don’t want her, I don’t care for her life, not anymore.”
“Well forgive me for asking because you’re giving pretty mixed signals right now,” I snapped, nearly shaking with the rage of emotions battering me. My joints and muscles protested, reminding me of my weakened state.
Softening at my groan, Atanas immediately crouched in front of me, cupping my clammy face in his hands. I moaned again, leaning into his touch because his cool skin was a soothing balm; angry or not. Tilting my head towards him, his thumbs brushed over my cheekbones.
“She is here for a reason,” he implored, with such depth to his voice, I bit my tongue to hear him out. “So much has happened while you’ve been recovering.” He let out a breath and his shoulders sagged, bringing his body closer so his forehead rested against mine. “Keep your faith in me for a few more hours, Libertas Mea. Someone is being sent up for you to feed from and as soon as you have, I will explain it all and answer every question. If you still disagree with keeping Leyla alive and under our care after that, we will discuss it.”
Atanas would never put me in danger, I believed that, so with great difficulty, I released the anger and mumbled an agreement. Even then he held me for a moment longer, our noses nearly touching, his fingers trailing over my jaw to brush against the scars on my neck. I hated the bumps and grooves he found on once smooth flesh but I resisted the urge to shove him away. It was the shimmer in his gaze that held mine; as if he thought he’d never look at me again after Leyla’s bite. He almost hadn’t; my gut told me that. Whatever Atanas had Una do to bring me back, it had defied nature. But, I supposed, the very existence of creatures such as vampires defied nature everyday anyway.
A knock came at the door and Atanas withdrew with great reluctance. I was curious about how they’d gone about procuring me a human but the sight of Cammi and Thierry stationed either side of the door caught my attention first. It struck me as odd again. Why did he need guards for me if he was here? Unless he worried about Leyla escaping and thought he’d need extra help subduing her if she came this way.
That was at the top of my list of questions.
Moving out of the way with a friendly smile, Atanas motioned for the dazed women to enter. She stumbled over the threshold but Thierry caught her before she could fall. The blush that stained her cheeks as she giggled shyly made my eyebrows fly up.
“She’s not drunk,” Atanas assured me as Thierry shut the door. “I forget my own power sometimes. Some human minds are extremely fragile.”
My nose scrunched immediately and I examined the swaying woman more closely. Bronze skin glowed warmly under the light, her thick dark hair pulled away from a sculpted face and straight nose. Dark liner emphasised the shape of her mahogany eyes, and her two piece black suit looked expensive.
“You chose her?” The growl in my tone was unfortunate and I hated the smirk that curled at my mate’s lips.
“Don’t be green, my love.” He led the woman closer and guided her to sit beside me on the bed. “I picked her only for the smell of her blood.”
Uh huh.
It didn’t matter to me. As soon as her jacket and shirt were pulled out the way, hunger pushed thoughts out of the way. The sweet perfume she wore filled my senses as my fangs sank into soft skin. At the first taste of her blood, I decided I believed his reason for choosing her after all. Warm and sweet as honey, it was difficult to remind myself to drink slowly as the woman moaned and shuddered in my arms. Occasionally Atanas ran his fingers through my hair or leaned in to clearly hear the woman’s pulse, but otherwise remained still throughout.
My skin tingled and crawled for a while as the blood revitalised every cell. I hadn’t realised I’d been breathing so raggedly until my chest expanded and allowed me to gulp on oxygen too. After one last pull, my fangs retracted but instinct got the better of me as I nuzzled the fresh wound, licking blood from the soft throat with a still strong and steady pulse. I could have kept feeding. Drained her dry. Listened to the stutter as she took her last breath, delighted in that sweet last taste. . .
Throwing myself away, I nearly shoved myself right off the bed as I scrambled in fear of my own thoughts.
“Get her out,” I hissed, my hearing trained on the thump of her heart as my nostrils flared to breath in more of her scent.
Atanas frowned, supporting the woman with obvious confusion. “What’s wrong?”
“Just get her out!”
The walls shuddered at my scream and without pushing for an answer, he whisked her up into his arms and practically dropped her into Thierry’s. The other vampire looked down at the passed out woman and opened his mouth but the door was once more shut before he could utter a word.
“Somethings wrong with me,” I moaned as the dreams that had plagued me came rushing back. I’d enjoyed killing in them, it had thrilled me to feel the last beat of a heart and the soft gasp of a final breath.
“Nothing is wrong with you, love,” Atanas soothed. He climbed onto the bed and dragged me towards him even though I fought his grip. Tucked against him, his arms stopped me from wriggling about, forcing me to breathe in his scent that pushed away the horrors of my thoughts. “Leyla has power even I don’t understand completely. The psychic connection she has with close descendants is. . .well, it can be disconcerting.”
Stilling, I frowned into his shirt. “I don’t understand.”
“They weren’t dreams you had. When Leyla woke, the connection came back to life. While you both slept, you shared some of her memories. Airell was right after all, your blood was enough to wake her and has kept her sustained so far. It’s remarkable.”
He loosened his arms enough for me to pull back to peer up at his face. “Everything I saw was real? That was actually you, the human you?”
I’d never seen him look so uncomfortable before. Almost embarrassed. It could have been a trick of the bedside lamp but I could have sworn he was blushing. “I believe so. It took a while but I managed to push past her connection to you and replace her memories with one or two of my own. If it caused you distress, I apologise. I only meant to help.”
“You did help,” I murmured. “Are you helping Gideon too, and Anna?”
“Of course. I knew what wrath would await me if I were to leave Gideon behind.” He chuckled and the sound was almost at ease. “Now rest a while longer and know I will make sure your dreams are peaceful. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”