Revolting

"Oh." I set aside my book. "What does that mean? Is it very formal? Should I dress up? Please come help me Daisy." Daisy and I went back up to my room to prepare for dinner. I felt a little sick to my stomach at the prospect of seeing Nolan again. Well I suppose I couldn't avoid him forever, could I?

We went through my closet, and Daisy frowned at my selections. I could see she didn't really approve of my wardrobe. But she pulled out a pretty tunic and a pair of black slacks. "These will do," she said a little reluctantly, "But you should talk to Luna Caydence...oh, ah, Auntie Caydence, about getting some new clothes."

I shrugged. I liked my clothes just fine. I dressed up the tunic with a pretty pendant and earrings. I pulled my hair back with a barrette, and again put on just a bit of make-up. When I tried to stand up from the stool, my hip froze in place, and I grimaced as I struggled to straighten myself.

"Forgive me for being nosy," Daisy said, rushing to my side, "But your legs..?."

Ah, here it was, the dreaded question. I could only shrug and say, "I was born like this." Which wasn't exactly true. I had been a fairly normal toddler and child, but the older I got, the more my condition had deteriorated. No one knew how bad it would get, or if it would continue to progress indefinitely until I was forced into a wheel-chair. What a great shame for a she-wolf to be absolutely crippled in her human form. At least when I shifted as a wolf, I was strong and healthy. I swore that if a day came when I could no longer walk, I would give up the pretense of being a human at all, and stay a wolf forever.

Just then there was a knock at the door. I looked at Daisy in surprise, and she went and opened it for me. Immediately she bowed her head submissively and swung the door open to admit my husband. He looked at me coldly across the room. "Are you ready?" His voice dripped with disapproval, as if he had already been waiting too long for me. I lifted my chin and looked him straight in the eye, if for no other reason than it seemed to annoy him that I was bold enough to do so. "I am ready." I guessed that this occasion required that we enter the dining room together, and look like we were actually a married couple, united in purpose. He took my hand and dragged me down the hall. If he noticed that I was tripping over my own feet, he didn't say anything. Luckily he went to the elevator, and not the stairs. He pushed me into the elevator and stabbed at the buttons. "You can stop doing that, you know." I told him coldly.

He looked at me sharply. "Doing what?"

"Pushing me around. Yanking my arms off. I am not a child."

"You are not anything." he said dismissively. "But for tonight, we must maintain appearances."

The doors to the elevator slid open, and when we reached the dining room, he took my hand. I steeled myself against the sparks and the attraction. I would not, I would NOT be influenced by the mating bond. I must keep my head together and stay strong. We walked together to the Alpha table. I sat in my usual seat, but Nolan went to the front of the room.

"Ladies and gentlemen, brother's and sisters. Tonight I would like to announce my selection of my beta and gamma. These men have trained and fought beside me since we were children, and they are worthy of this honor. Shane Okhauna, please join me. I choose Shane as my beta." I watched as an attractive young man unfolded himself from another table and moved to stand beside my husband. He had deeply tanned skin, blue-black hair that wanted to fall in his eyes, and Polynesian eyes that tipped up at the corners. His smile was wide and white and generous as he shook the Alpha's hand and accepted his appointment. "And Paul Crossman, my gamma." Another young man stood from the back. He was built like a house, with a broad, barrel chest and wide shoulders. I thought he looked like an American football player. Surely if you gave him a helmet and shoulder pads, nothing would get by him. The room erupted in applause and approval. The announcement over, Nolan slapped his friends on the back. "Now you will come join me at my table from now on." More chairs were added, and place-settings were moved. I found myself sitting beside my husband, and across from his beta, Shane.

The meal was served, and conversation swirled around me, but mostly I ignored it. I toyed with my food and leaned away from Nolan, trying to make sure we didn't accidentally bump skin and send sparks flying between us. He was an absolute expert at ignoring me, but I would also learn how to be indifferent to him. The day would come, I swore, when I could be just as cold and unfeeling and unaffected. I felt eyes on me and looked up across the table to find Shane staring at me. He seemed to be studying me intensely, and it made me a bit uncomfortable. His eyes were dark brown, and his brows slashed down over them. He had seemed boyish when he was all smiles, but now that his face was serious, he seemed a bit dangerous. I could not read his expression or understand what he was thinking when he was looking at me like that. After a few minutes his gaze slid from me, over to Nolan. A shadow passed over his face and then he looked away. I do not think he looked at me for the rest of the meal.

I looked for William, but with the new seating arrangement he was now at the far end of the table, and too far away to have a real conversation. He acknowledged me with a smile and a wink, but he made no attempt to talk to me. I wished I could just excuse myself from the family table and go work with Daisy in the kitchen. I would truthfully rather wash the dishes than sit beside my fake husband and choke down this food like everything was perfectly normal. My mind kept wandering back to what he had done to me on our wedding night, and I couldn't stop the pain that clenched in my gut every time I thought about it. I stayed as long as I absolutely had to, and then excused myself from the table. When I stood, the beta, the gamma, and William all stood with me, out of respect. I smiled at them, feeling shy but pleased at their show of loyalty. But when I glanced back at Nolan he was frowning furiously. I lifted my chin and walked from the dining room, but I didn't go upstairs. Instead I let myself into the kitchen.

"Ah, madam Luna!" Kelly wrung her hands anxiously in her apron and ran to me. "Is there something you need? Is anything wrong? Was the supper acceptable?"

I smiled, "Everything was excellent as always, Kelly. I thought perhaps I could assist you with some of the clean up."

Kelly's jaw dropped open. "No! Luna Nina, you will do no such thing!" I ignored her and found a stool that I could pull up the the sink. She followed anxiously after me. "Luna, Luna, we have plenty of staff, its really not necessary! Please, you mustn't."

I smiled and found the sponge and plunged some dirty dishes into the hot water. "I know I don't have to, but I want to." I said firmly. The staff looked at each other a little fearfully. At first they skittered around me silently, and I felt my presence was really a burden to them. But by slow degrees they relaxed, and began to chatter and gossip as they usually would... and I relaxed too. Aside from Daisy, I didn't know any of them, but I tried to match names to faces at they worked. There was a big man with a round face who seemed to be one of the head chefs. He was called Davy. There were other men and women who worked under him. Then there was a small army of waiters and waitresses. When the all the serving and clearing was done, they traded in their formal black and white uniforms for aprons, and went to work on clean up. They wiped up the tables and mopped the floors, while others washed dishes and scrubbed the stainless steel counters. I admired the way they worked together, like a well oiled machine. In just an hour they had the kitchen sparkling clean and disinfected and ready for the morning meal. I felt happy to be around them, happy to be surrounded by normal people, doing simple, manual labor.

By the time we had finished, the dining room was empty, and I thought I would be able to sneak back to my room alone. I limped out into the hallway, and started for the elevators. I was surprised when I heard William call my name. "Nina! Wait! I will walk you to your room." He jogged to catch up with me. He gave me an easy smile, and tucked my hand into the crook of his elbow. If there was one thing I already loved about William, he didn't ask a lot of questions. He seemed to take everything at face value, including the fact that I had spent the evening with the kitchen staff, and now had dish-pan hands. We took the elevator up, and he walked me down to my door. He frowned darkly at Nolan's door as we passed, but said nothing. "Good night, in-law. Sleep well." He deposited me at my door. It seemed that everyone already knew that we were sleeping in separate rooms. I didn't know whether to be embarrassed or relieved.