Revolting

I awoke the next morning with an aching groin. God, I think the man bruised me on the inside. I felt humiliated and degraded. I did not want to leave the room. I did not want to see any people. I stared up at the ceiling for a long, long time trying to figure out what I was supposed to do next. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to march across the hallway and formally reject him as my mate. If I broke the mating bond, he would have no more power over me, and the only thing binding us together would be the flimsy marriage certificate. I needed to get a good look at the treatise agreement to see if it specified how long we actually had to stay married. If I was lucky, we could get a quick divorce and I could go home and put this whole embarrassing and painful ordeal behind me.

Someone knocked on the door. "Who is it?" I called out. If it was Nolan, I was absolutely NOT opening the door. I would deal with Nolan, but on my terms and in my own time. Not naked and wrapped in a terrycloth bathrobe. But the voice behind the door was Daisy. I cracked the door open and checked the hallway suspiciously, to make sure no one was behind her. She was standing with my suitcases, a worried look on her face.

"Alpha Nolan said I should bring these to this room." She said awkwardly. I dragged her inside, along with my suitcases. She gave me a funny look. "You aren't sleeping in the Alpha's room?"

"No." I wanted to say a lot more. I wanted to spill my heart out about what happened last night, and what a horrible man Nolan was. But I couldn't. I was the outsider here. Daisy might be my friend, but she had been born into this pack, and Nolan was now her alpha. If I told her any of my secrets, he could even use his alpha authority to force her to tell him. "Will you help me unpack...again?"

Daisy was more than happy to help me unload my belongings for the second time. But this time, as I arranged the room, I took ownership of it. This was MY room now. I put my picture of my sisters on the wall. I arranged things on the dresser the way I wanted them. I spread my sunflower throw blanket across the bottom of the bed. Daisy was inspired and went out and brought back some of the bouquets left-over from the wedding ceremony, and we spread them around the room. I opened the curtains wide to let in the sun, and was happy with the transformation... the dull, neutral room had been transformed into something bright and beautiful.

As for me, I was happy to slip into my old comfortable clothes. I no longer had to "dress to impress", so a pair of jean shorts and a comfortable tank top were perfectly acceptable now. I abandoned the pretense of shoes, as it was always much easier for me to walk and maneuver in my bare feet. I sat in the over-stuffed chair and put my feet on the little coffee table that went with it. "I guess this is home now," I mumbled. I made a mental note to order some brighter curtains and a colorful area rug for the hardwood floors.

"It looks really nice," Daisy said, with her trademark smile. "Are you going to come down for lunch?"

Lunch. I was hungry, but I didn't really want to go down and sit at the family table, in front of all those people. What if Nolan was there?

Wait. So WHAT if Nolan was there? Was I going to stay in my room and hide from him for the rest of my life? Was I going to be hungry and uncomfortable because of a jerk like him? Was I going to cower in my room like some hurt little girl? Well, maybe I WAS a hurt little girl, but I wasn't about to let him know that. I wasn't going to let Nolan Pierceson know that he had any effect on me at all. I pulled up my hair, and put on my favorite earrings, and stared hard at myself in the mirror. "Chin up, Nina." I told myself. I pulled the key to the elevator out of my jewelry box, and Daisy and I headed downstairs.

Daisy and I parted company at the French doors that lead into the dining room. I took a deep breath, pulled myself up as tall as my 5'5" allowed, and walked into the dining room like I owned it. And as the Luna, I kind of did. I walked to the Alpha table, and was relieved to see that my husband was not down. I smiled at my mother-in-law, and quietly took my usual seat.

Caydence smiled at me, "Hello dear, we missed you at breakfast."

The waitress swooped around and served us bowls of hearty soup, along with platters of fresh bread, butter and cheese. I had just picked up my spoon when William breezed in. He gave his mother a kiss on the cheek, and then brazenly bent to kiss mine. "Good afternoon my Luna!" he said boldly. He reached out for the chair beside me and then stopped cold and swore.

"That son of a bitch," He growled. I squirmed at his sudden, frosty change of temperament, and followed the line of his brilliant blue eyes to my bare arms. Of course, how stupid of me! In dressing myself, I'd given no thought to the bruises that Nolan had left on my arms. Now they were in plain sight, almost as if I'd done it on purpose. I blushed and ducked my head. "Nolan did this to you?" William said, but he wasn't really asking. It was a statement of fact, and he didn't act like he was at all surprised. More like he expected no less.

I picked up my spoon. "Its no big deal." I said quietly. I took a spoon of the soup, but suddenly I wasn't so hungry any more.

"I'm sorry Nina," he said with deep sincerity.

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"Its not the work of your hands, you have nothing to apologize for." I said firmly. The fact that his brother was apologizing for Nolan made me feel worse. But the worse I felt, the more I had to fight against that low feeling. I took a slice of bread and carefully buttered it. I wanted to ask them if THIS was the reason they had to arrange a marriage for Nolan Pierceson? Perhaps no woman in the pack would have him because they knew about his vulgar behavior toward women. I saw William exchange a look with his mother over my head, and I felt his mother's eyes also travel up my arms. She sighed and pushed away her bowl. "I will speak to him."

"No. Please don't." I lifted my chin. Instinctively I knew that if Nolan were reprimanded for his rough actions, he would only be more infuriated and more abusive toward me. It wouldn't help the situation, and would only serve to drive a wedge between the family. "I will deal with it myself." I didn't know exactly how I would deal with it, but given this was now my home, and my situation, I would have to find a way.

After lunch was cleared away, I looked for something to do. I had no experience at being a Luna, but I remember my mother always saying that the Luna is the heart of the pack. She is the glue that holds the family together. I would have to follow her example, and seek guidance from my mother-in-law. As I wandered around the ground floor, I found the nursery, and let myself in.

There were about two dozen little kids, ranging from babies to preschoolers tumbling around the large, colorful room. A handful of Omega women were trying to keep order. I didn't have the strength to chase the little ones around the room, but I found some crayons and paper, and sat myself down in the middle of the floor. I pretended to ignore the children and started coloring all by myself. After a minute passed, a chubby little girl came and squatted beside me, with her fingers in her mouth. She watched me for a minute before I handed her a paper and offered her some crayons. She plopped her bottom down and started to scribble big circles on her paper. Once one child had broke the ice, the others came quickly, until I was surrounded by a sloppy circle of children. "Look, I will draw a picture of you, Luka," I said to one boy. I used a blue crayon to draw a caricature likeness of his spiky hair and freckled nose. "Now you draw one of me." "Yes yes! Lets draw a picture of the new Luna!" One of the older girls cried, and then everyone was making their cartoons of me. They presented me with their portraits and I was careful to admire and compliment each one. "Ohhh, is this me?" I pointed to a yellow blob with some red squiggles on top. "And this must be my hair! Oh wonderful job."

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"And this one? I know this is me, because it has a blue shirt, just like me." I tried to learn their names, but there were just too many, and only a few stuck in my mind. A baby who had barely begun to walk backed into me and plopped her diapered bottom into my lap. She leaned back into me and gazed up into my face and took a fistful of my hair. She didn't pull it, she just held it. I caressed her face and smiled down at her. I loved children, so honest, so innocent, so full of promise. After awhile the children got tired of the crayons and wandered off to other activities, and the baby had fallen asleep in my arms. One of the nursery workers came and took her from my arms.

"What's her name?" I asked as they carefully picked her limp body off from me.

"She is called Leah-Ray," the woman answered. "She must really like you, we can never get her to sleep!"

I helped gather up the crayons and the papers, then I slipped out of the nursery and went out into the gardens. The gardens at Gold Mountain were really different. Instead of things being planted in neat and tidy rows where everything was homogeneous, every bed was a wild riot of many different ornamental plants, herbs, flowers and even vegetables. There didn't seem to be any order to anything, and yet everything grew together harmoniously. I admired the beautiful bright petals of black eyed susan's that were sprouting around the base of a joseph's coat climbing rose. The rose was climbing up a small arbor that passed from one bed, over the path into another. I wandered until my legs were heavy and tired, and then I went back inside. I found the library, selected a book, and sat down to read.

Really I would have to figure out my new roll here, or I might very well die of boredom. I like to read, fine, but I couldn't spend all day every day with my nose stuck in a book.

Daisy found me in the library. She spun into the room a little breathlessly. "Luna..."

"Nina," I corrected her. I could not get used to being called by a title.

"Nina... Alpha Nolan has announced that he will present his selections for beta and gamma at dinner tonight. You should be prepared to join him."