Chapter 18 -
When I came to Gold Mountain, I had squeezed my whole life into two suitcases. I was now attempting to put my whole life into a backpack. I didn't even own a backpack, to start with. I had to ask Daisy if I could borrow one from her. I made the excuse that it was hard to carry things around with the crutches, and I needed a backpack to free up my hands. I hoped she would forgive me when I absconded with it. I stuffed it with a couple changes of clothes, extra underwear, and a few personal items. I took my mother's jewelry box. I slipped my sisters' photo out of the frame and pressed the photo between the pages of my journal. I had two pre-paid Visa cards and a fifty-dollar bill that I had received as wedding gifts. Caydence had also given me a debit card to access the family spending account, but I refused to take that with me. First and foremost, they could use the card to track me. But I also would not steal from the people that had shown me kindness, and welcomed me into the family pack, despite their son.
I forced myself to sit down and write her a note. I couldn't explain everything to her, I couldn't tell her the real reason I was leaving. All I could do was apologize for disappointing her, for disappointing Bernhard. Bernhard had never been particularly friendly to me, but he hadn't been mean either. "Forgive me Mum, I just can't stay in this house or in this marriage. Please don't try to look for me. I hope that you stay in health and happiness, and remember me fondly ~ Nina." I slipped the note into an envelope, along with the gold debit card, and my wedding ring, and placed them all in my bedside drawer. Someone would find them, eventually.
I stalled a few more days time, trying to look and act as if everything was normal. I went down to the dining room to eat. I sat on the bench and watched Shane's training classes. I played with the babies. I sat alone in the library and pretended to read. I even sat elbow-to-elbow with Nolan at several meals, when he decided to make an appearance. I had learned to wrap my own knees. It wasn't as good as Shane's work, but it helped my legs, and the pain in my hip was getting better and better. I didn't really need to use the crutches any more, and I carried them more for show, even when I was putting my full weight onto my feet as I walked. Since I had made up my mind to leave, I found that I was at peace with it. The only thing that remained was to cut my bond with Nolan. When he was not actively being a jerk, I found it harder and harder for me to severe the supernatural tie that bound us together. I questioned myself over and over, if I was sure, if it was really the right thing to do. Some people said that the Goddess herself chose our partners, and paired us together for a reason. It was scary to think I was going to circumvent divine intention. But then again, we were given the freedom of rejection, we were given that "out". I knew I had to use it.
Saturday, I decided. I'll do it Saturday.
I didn't make it to Saturday.
Thursday night I heard the giggling in the hallway, before I even felt the pain in my gut. I put the heavy backpack on my shoulders. I looped my jacket over one arm, and I waited. The pain came, like I knew it would, but I have to say, it wasn't as bad as it had been. Perhaps my senses were growing dull. Or maybe I was already so emotionally detached that the bond was breaking on its own. I didn't care. Instead of getting stabbed, I felt a pain like severe menstrual cramps. When the pain started to radiate through my ribs, I picked up my crutches, and moved to the door. I took one last look around my room. "Home" hadn't lasted very long, and I was sad that I had to leave so much behind, especially my fuzzy butterfly blanket. But there was no room for nostalgia now. I closed the door quietly, and eased my way across the hall.
I recognized the smell, and the voice before I even got to the door. It was the red-headed nurse again, Julia Paige. I stopped and wondered for a moment if he was just a man-whore, or if he really had feelings for this woman. What if they'd been in love, and then his parents had thrown me at him? I had a hard time picturing Nolan being loving toward anyone, but who knew what went on in the dark forest of his heart? All the more reason for me to do what I had to do, and do it now. I took a deep breath, and opened his door. I opened it with so much force that it swung hard and banged into the wall. The "beast with two backs" on the bed stopped rocking and turned to look at me in surprise. Nolan's expression was half annoyance and half satisfaction... and that was enough to embolden me to what I had to do.
"I, Nina Boyton Pierceson, hereby---"
A panicked look crossed his face. "STOP!" He held up a hand, as if he could stop me, while his body was still tangled up and stuck in the red-headed whore.
"I hereby REJECT you, Nolan Pierceson as my fated mate. Let all bonds between us be broken, now and forever."
"Nina! Fuck!" Nolan rolled off the woman, and clutched at his chest.
It hurt me too, I'm not going to lie. It was way worse even than the times he'd screwed around with other women. My eyes watered and my vision blurred, but I was getting used to it. I pulled myself up straight, and positioned the crutches under my arms. "Well?"
He gasped, and rolled over on his back. When he looked at me, his eyes were dark and angry, and I felt a shiver of fear run down my spine. "I, Nolan Pierceson...reject.. your rejection." What?? What??!! That wasn't in the script! I gaped at him with an open mouth.
"Did you really think I'd let you out of it so easy, you stupid bitch?"
There were a hundred insults and accusations on the edge of my tongue that I wanted to fling back at him. But I didn't. I took one last look at my husband, feeling sad that my last memory of him would be like this, writhing on the bed, caught in the act of fornication and adultery. I reached out and closed his door behind me, and then made my way down to the elevator. The house was mostly quiet now. The staff had finished their work and gone on to their own rooms. Some of them lived in seperate houses scattered around the pack territory. There was the noise of a movie playing from the entertainment room. The smell of popcorn hit my nose as I passed the room full of rowdy teenagers. No one payed me any attention at all as I quietly walked straight out the front door, and down the long, curving driveway.
Somewhere out in the night, I knew there were security patrols, watching the borders. I just marched straight on down the driveway, however. I thought it would be a lot less suspicious if I just went straight on through, rather than trying to be sneaky and hide in the shadows. I was right too. I had made it almost up to the road, the boundary line was only a few meters away. I had only to step across it and declare myself a rogue.
That is when a car came speeding down the driveway toward me, and I felt my heart drop out of me. They had discovered me. I did not have the ability to run or the strength to fight, so I could do nothing but turn and confront my fate. What would they do to me? Lock me back in the house? Throw me into the dungeons? Beat me? I stared defiantly at the SUV as it skidded to a stop just a few feet from me. I expected guards. I wouldn't even have been surprised if it was Nolan himself.
Instead the door popped open, and William jumped from the drivers seat. The passenger door opened, and Daisy's blonde head poked out. I gaped at them. "William... Daisy... what are you doing?"
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"We are coming with you, Luna." William said with a wide grin.
"What? You can't! Go home William, please." I looked desperately at Daisy. "Daisy??"
"We are revolting with you."
"Revolting?" That didn't seem like the right word.
"Yes," William nodded seriously. "We pledge our allegiance, and dedicate our lives to our Luna."
I looked in confusion between my two friends. Daisy, who never said "no" to anyone, was willing to make herself and outcast from the pack, for my sake? And William would abandon his family? "William, your mother--"
William came, took me by the elbow and steered me toward the car. "My mother knows I need to leave, Nina. I've been planning it for months. I will never be accepted for who and what I am here."
I shook my head. "Daisy, I can't let you do this."
Daisy raised her chin stubbornly. "You can't stop me. Now get in the car, quickly."
William opened the back door for me. "Hurry up Luna, before they figure out what we are doing. You didn't really think you were going to walk the 35 miles to the nearest town, did you?"
I gulped. I had no idea it was that far. I threw my crutches inside and slid into the seat. I buckled my seat belt, and William peeled out, crossing the boundary into no-man's land. I opened the mind-link between myself, and the pack. "I, Nina Boyton, declare myself independent of the Gold Mountain pack. From this day forward, I am a rogue, with no allegiance to any pack." And just as simply as the link had opened in my mind at the acceptance ceremony, it was snapped closed as I declared myself a rogue. William and Daisy must have made their own separate declarations, but I could not hear them.
"We did it," I muttered in wonder as we sped down the road, away from Nolan, away from the pack. "We are free."
"Oh, Luna. I grabbed this for you. I thought you might want it." Daisy reached under her seat, and pulled out my fuzzy butterfly blanket. I sighed and wrapped it around my shoulders, taking comfort in something warm and familiar. "Where are we going?" I asked William, since he seemed to be driving with direction and purpose.
"I have a friend, a human friend, Gabe. We went to university together. He's got a big house in Troy. He says its mostly gutted, because they started renovations last year, but he ran out of money. He says we can live there with him, if we don't mind helping him with fixing the place back up."
"Wow that's great."
"Nina," he looked me in the rear view mirror. "Daisy and I were serious. We have dedicated our loyalty to you as our Luna. We are not rogues. We are a pack of three." I swallowed and felt suddenly chilled. It was one thing to run away and take my life into my own hands. But now, through some trick of fate, I had brought these two out into the world with me, and made myself responsible for their safety and well-being. That was a very heavy weight on my already tired shoulders. Could three friends really be a "pack"? Could I lead them as a Luna with no Alpha? I rubbed at my chest, which still felt sore and empty from the half-baked rejection. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was really, really glad that they were there. I didn't have to face the future alone.