SWNOVELS Chapter Under the Stars
It is a different story, to feel everything and nothing all at once. It is a different story, to see the one you love with a stranger. It is a different story, when you are quiet and keeping these emotions of pain and love to yourself. It is just a different story.
Imagine sitting across the street at your favorite coffee place drinking either coffee or tea, which ever you like, and looking up from your book or computer to see the person you love with someone else. Imagine getting a message from them telling you how happy they are without you, well probably not those exact words. Just the fact they are happy with someone else. Imagine the feeling of losing the one you love. Imagine getting a call from a relative of said person telling there has been an accident and the loved one is asking for you. Or worse, being told the one you love is never going to wake up again. It is a curse disguised as a blessing to see the one you love truly happy again or at peace. In that process of their happiness you are losing them if you are not the reason for it.
Amid love there is always pain around the corner. Awaiting its turn to creep into your life and build you up stronger. During pain, there is a brighter light at the end of the tunnel. Or so people seem to say. But as a person who experiences it the most, understand that pain may never go away. It may just stay there forever. You can lose the one you love in a split second and it is going to destroy you. But as time passes by things will get a little better, the pain won’t hurt as much. Nights will get longer, and days will get harder. Your smile will fade, and you will become an expert at faking one.
This is where missing you comes into play.
But as it would seem tonight is just not how it is supposed to be. I want to stop looking up to the stars for answers because I am stuck underneath them waiting for you to come home. I want to stop waiting for you. I want to stop hearing the song Come Home by One Republic when I think of you or am under the stars. I want this to stop, I just want to see you. But all I get to see is the memories of you in the night.
And to say I see you in the night would be an understatement. I see you in the moon as it moves every day. I see you in the stars as they grow brighter with each night that passes. I see you in the light of the fireflies passing by. I see you in the sunset and sunrise. It is an understatement to say I just see you in the night, when I see you every night under the stars and every morning with the sun rising above the mountains.
It is a different story to say I can see you, when I have to wake up every day and come to truth that you are no longer here. The memories of you are drilled into my brain. The first time we ever met and the last time we saw each other is sketched into my heart. But the last time I said I love you has been forever sewn into my soul.
But as I sit here, and you are off with the girl who makes you happy right now, please remember me. Remember me when you finally slow your life down enough to look up at the stars. Remember what it was like the see the universe in one person. Remember me when you regret letting the girl of your dreams go for the girl who will never be a match for your soul. Remember me when you are under the stars alone and thinking about how much you screwed up with the girl who gave you the world and more. Remember me when you realize that the stars will never shine as brightly as they did on the hot June night, when we first said we loved each other or on that cold February night when our souls first met. Just remember me, when you are looking up at the universe waiting for the god you believe to give you your soul mate back.
Remember me when all else fails and you see me once more. Remember that I will forever be a part of you, even at the gates of heaven when you pass through and are waiting to see me again. Remember that even while you are watching over me, my love for you will stay the same. Because if there is night, I will forever be under the stars waiting to see you once more.