Remembering You

How can you see the world in someone else, when you cannot even see you are the universe in itself? Can you love the universe you inhabit? Or will the stars just fade away? Is it too much to say the world you see in someone else is just that of your imagination?

​You viewed me through this distraught looking glass. Only showing you what you want to see. A beautiful lie, if you may. In some words, I could never be the one you wanted. You hold this idea of love to another standard, giving it the meaning that is indescribable. But as days go by and lies are spread you fixate the idea onto me.

I could waste your time by lying to you. Saying I love you and all that cutesy stuff. I could make you fall in love with the mire idea that things are going to be okay. Or even showing you the truth behind what you see in me. But in the simple truth; I do not love you. I should not have to… Because the idea of love should only be on the table after one has loved itself.

I should not be the one you expect to love you in your darkest hour, when you cannot bare to look in the mirror and love yourself. I should not be expected to tell you all that stuff, that is a given about you. Like how you are an amazing person for going after what makes you happy. Or even that you are beautiful in every way possible, even if you hate your flaws. I should not be expected to love you when you cannot look in the mirror and love yourself.

But expecting someone to love you when you cannot love yourself, should not be the case. It should not happen. You should love yourself first, before you let anyone else love you. I mean do not get me wrong; family love and friend love are fine. Just romantic, soul type love should not be forced onto someone else if you cannot love yourself first. Family and friend love are different from the love of a romantic lover. The love you want must mean something to you, before someone else’s love does.

Take it from a girl who used to want love from others, because she was so flawed, she could not bear to love herself. I let myself love so much and took in as much love from anyone I could in order to feel better about myself. Only to end in pain and heartbreak. I was in pain by letting others love me for a lie before I started loving myself.

So, I choose to let you love yourself, in order to protect you from pain and misery. I want you to love you. Not me to love you and show you lies can be sugar coated for the wrong reasons. I want the best for you, and that only comes with the love you finally give yourself. Love should not be forced.

So how can you see the world in someone else, when you cannot see the universe being held inside of you waiting to escape? Can you love the universe you inhabit? Or will your stars just fade away? Can you finally love yourself first?