Remembering You

Taking the bottle to your lips; what do you really have to gain? A hangover that is completely overrated. Sorrow cannot be found here. Those drunken calls, what a mistake awaiting you. Yet, out of it all, how could I forget the worst of them all? The heartbreak at the bottom of it all. You would never admit how much he hurt you. The fear of love being lost was far more sacred than you assumed.

One bottle down; one heartbreak hidden. But wait, why stop there? Happily dancing your heart out not dropping an ounce of the liquor that gave you courage. When are you going to relax? He is not watching you, but you still will not let that tear drop.

Memories let us forget.

I used to think forgetting things would be easy. I would pack up my bags and leave. Just like that and never look back. I was stuck in a moment; where leaving and staying were too close for comfort. I used to think that it was easy to leave; now I take a step away and come running back to the misery that awaits me.

Useless thoughts constantly filled my head. I wondered if you missed me, or how long it would take you to even miss me. Was I even the big deal I made myself out to be? Did I make a mistake? When did I become this soft?

Oh, how I wish I could turn back and repeat that moment. I wish that drinking my pain away was as easy as it sounded. I have not taken a sip of liquor in a year; yet every time I think of you the thought crosses my mind. I wonder if vodka could erase this? How far gone will I be if I just gave in? I remember those little moments that were drowned in liquor. Spoiled every taste, every drop of love that I had left. I was only blocking out the inevitable heartache. You see, with all my heart, I wish I could forget.

Today, let me forget. Let this liquor race through my veins. Let me break in one piece. Let them memories flood with drunken mistakes and the mishaps of the night.

I was broken when I lost you. I was broken when you chose someone else. I was broken when that bottle hit my lips. I was a little less broken by the time I came up for air. I was broken when I thought loving you was what I needed to fix me.

Maybe you were the one to fill all my gaps and cause me happiness; and when I woke up from my drunken phase, you would have still been there. Yet, per usual, I pushed you away thinking this would help, and to a point it did. To a point I was not broken anymore.

They say drunken words are sober thoughts, but these right here are the soberest thoughts one could have.

I never expected my addiction to love would feel like a drunken haze. Only this time, it hurt more than anything else. I never expected to love so much, to wear my heart on my sleeve, and to forgive so easily. I never expected to feel so fuzzy when it came to a memory of you and me.

I thought I could love you until the end of time but may death me with me on this one.

You were the poison, I picked at the bar. The poison, I let consume me. The poison, I was letting kill me.

Memories let me forget. I was never the same after I tasted you.