Reluctantly You (Our Exception Book 3)

Mitch

I’m outside my van, back at the campground where I’ve been sleeping. My feet have dug a small path in the grass just outside, one that has been worn down by my incessant pacing.

I don’t know if he’ll actually come. I never sent my address, never had the chance. My phone died and refuses to turn back on.

Where is he?

Is he coming?

Surely he must be coming, right? Why else would he have said that?

God, he’s not coming, and here I am…waiting.

I should have gone to the store and purchased a new one, but I fretted about not being around when he arrived.

Fuck, I don’t want to miss him.

So I wait nervously, my fingernails bitten down to the quick as I struggle with it all. I vacillate between pure panic and intense loneliness. Wanting him so badly and not wanting him at all.

Please come. Please fucking come.

The sun is setting, the sky turning gray. The stars aren’t even out, covered by the clouds spanning the sky, an ominous sign if I ever saw one. And still, I don’t move, just pace until I hear the crunch of tires.

My heart stutters, my breathing growing labored, and then there he is, striding toward me, his face slightly scruffy, his shirt slightly askew.

I can’t breathe. Can’t fucking breathe.

An inhale, a gasp, gazes colliding. Then his forehead gently touches mine.

“Mitchell,” he rasps, and I sag into him, my mouth meeting his, hungry, eager.

Oh god, I missed this. I missed him.

Why did I ever think I could do it without him?

“I missed you too,” he groans as he pushes me back against the van, his tongue sliding into my mouth, his fingers tangling in my hair. I grunt and groan, desperately feral, my movements growing more frantic with each thrust.

Oh fuck, how did he find me? How the fuck did he? I never told him where I was.

“How?” I whisper.

“I know a guy,” he says as his lips trail down my neck, biting at the overly sensitive skin. “Well, Emmy knows someone,” he clarifies, but I don’t fucking care, just arch up into him, my cock hard and insistent. It needs to come.

It’s been so long.

“Shit, I told myself to be cool,” he growls as I start to whimper. “But the moment I saw you…”

I gasp when his thigh moves between my legs and grinds against my neglected cock. Oh shit, I’m going to come if he keeps doing that. I’m going to come.

My body shakes, my head falling back against the warm metal of the van as he sucks on my Adam’s apple, his teeth digging into my skin. My orgasm is almost painful as I jolt, filling up my boxers with my release. Gideon’s movements only lighten when I sag against him, my breathing heavy and labored.

“Shit,” he murmurs as he kisses me softly. “Shit, you’re always so good.”

I moan and kiss him back, my fingers still clutching on to him, scared that if I let go, he’ll leave.

I left him. I chose to go.

And yet, it doesn’t matter.

We were apart. Despite how it happened or who chose to do what. We were broken, scattered, but now we can start to put ourselves back together.

“We should get you cleaned up,” he whispers, his fingers massaging my scalp. “You made such a mess, baby.”

I nod and pull him closer, loving the term of endearment. Baby. I feel like one at the moment. Needing to be cared for.

“There’re showers over there,” I manage to murmur and he nods, not even looking where I glanced. No, his eyes are only on me, staring, watching me so intently I almost feel stripped bare.

Strip me bare. Just see the entirety of me.

“I don’t want you out of my sight,” he murmurs, and I let my chin dip to my chest.

“I don’t want you to leave,” I admit.

His fingers flex against my scalp, almost holding me steady before he steps back, running a hand across his stubbled jaw. Shit, he looks good.

My cock rallies, trying to grow hard again, my hole clenching around nothing.

I need him. I need his strength, his reassurance, his calmness.

I need him to be by my side moving forward, to stand by me when I meet the man who’s my dad.

I didn’t know it until we were apart and then I felt it palpably. I felt the absence of him.

“Come on,” he says as he opens the van door and Pants darts out.

“Hey, Little Pants,” he coos and picks her up, pressing a kiss to her orange head. She’s growing so much bigger, not as little as she once was. Why is time moving so fast? I just want it to slow down a bit.

“Grab your stuff,” he tells me as he sets Pants back in the van. I do as he says, following him to the small building that houses the showers.

We walk inside, skirting the eyes of the janitor who’s just finished cleaning, and make our way into a singular stall. He locks it behind him and we face one another.

A clash of eyes, of need.

More. I want more.

“Strip,” he says so lowly that I need to read his lips to understand him. I do as he says, peeling my clothes from my body while he does the same. We step completely naked under the warm spray of the shower, Gideon setting down a bar of soap, shampoo, and some lube.

Oh fuck. Lube.

I want him to fuck me. It’s been so long.

He pushes up behind me and his warm chest hits my back.

“I missed you so fucking much, Mitchell.”

I sigh and lean my head back against his shoulder, letting his hands slide up my abdomen, plucking gently at my nipples.

“I fucking missed you,” he whispers again, his words meant only for me. “Don’t ever leave me again.”

I swallow and let my eyes close as he continues to massage soap into my skin, sagging against his strong body, letting him hold me up. Fuck, I need him.

I’ve always needed him.

I’m finally ready to begin admitting this to myself. I’m fucking ready.

My hand moves up around the back of his neck and I feel his lips brush against my neck, a slow crawl toward my lips. My head turns and our mouths meet in a tangle of tongues.

It’s sloppy and slow. I never want it to stop.

“Do you want me?” he asks, and I nod, my fingers tightening as I curl my fist.

His kisses grow more fierce, no longer lazy and slow, but punishing and desperate, as if he’s waited as long as I have for this moment.

And then suddenly, his hands push me forward, my palms landing on the tile before me. My ass arches out, and I feel two fingers gently press inside me. I gasp at the intrusion, my chin hitting my chest as I push back, needing more, needing to be filled, to be complete.

This is what I’ve been missing.

Him. I’ve been missing him.

His fingers scissor me open, spreading me, prepping me for him. A moment later, they disappear only to be replaced by his cock. He pushes in slowly, inch by inch until I’m impaled on him. He pulls me into him, back to chest, his hand on my throat as he fucks into me.

“You’re mine, Mitchell. Mine. Say it. Say it.”

I gasp as he pegs my prostate, my cock hard and leaking as the steam swirls around me.

“Yours.” It’s all I can say, my entire body alight with sensation. He’s pounding into me, claiming me from the inside out.

When we come, we do it together, my release coating the shower in front of me and his cum marking my insides.

When he pulls out, I feel him touch my tender hole.

“So perfect.”

“I’m broken,” I murmur, feeling the fractured parts of me slice at my skin.

He shakes his head and forces me to look at him.

“No. Perfect.”

I shake my head and feel my eyes sting. “I’m not…whole, Gideon. I’m not whole.”

“You’re perfect. Just the way you are.”

My eyes leak and I feel him kiss them away as he turns the water off, drying me and helping me into my clothes. We walk back to my van and clamber inside, my body pressed against his on my makeshift bed. Pants settles at our feet, a slow, steady purr drifting up our legs.

“I’d prefer a hotel,” Gideon murmurs. “But fuck, I’m just glad to have you in my arms again.”

I huff and bury my face in his neck, my hand splayed across his beating chest.

“Seems your paintings have gotten darker,” he adds, his eyes trailing to the small canvas sitting opposite us.

“It’s only been a week.”

“It has been and yet, they’re still so fucking beautiful, Mitch.”

I swallow, my eyes stinging. “It’s too messy to be beautiful.”

He forces my gaze toward him, his fingers firm on the nape of my neck. “Even in the mess, it fucking shines.”

I let out a small sob and swallow roughly, trying to keep my emotions at bay, but still they leak from my eyes, a steady stream. He lets me, my tears soaking the front of his shirt until I’m finally able to breathe.

“Tell me why you ran?” he finally asks.

“Tell me how you found me?” I reply, my throat raw from emotion.

“Emmy’s friend, Lex…he apparently has a way with computers. Found you in less than twenty minutes.”

I peer up at him and my fingers slide up to his rough cheek. “Thank you.”

“Always, Mitchell. I’ll always come for you.”

I glance away, my eyes burning as I let his words settle into me. Soothing, a balm.

A moment later I admit, “I came to find my dad.”

“Hm, I figured,” he replies but remains silent, letting me admit even more.

“I found him, met him even, but he doesn’t know who I am, and…I’m afraid.” The last word comes out as a whisper, an admission.

My fear.

He may not want me.

“He’ll love you.”

“No one loves me,” I murmur, but his hand tangles in my hair and forces me to look at him.

“He’ll love you. I promise.”

I see the meaning behind his words swirling through those dark orbs and my chest swells. He can’t…oh fuck, he can’t.

“Accept it, Mitchell. Accept it. And tomorrow, we’ll go meet him. You and I.”

I bury my face in him once more and let him soothe me with his touch.

“Okay.”

I can do that. I can do it with him by my side.

“You’ve got this,” Gideon says softly as we stare at my dad’s house. We’re currently across the street and I can’t stop shaking, but he’s soothing me with his mere presence. God, how did I ever think I should do this alone?

Perhaps being by myself is not the best thing. Perhaps I need him by my side.

No. I know I do.

I take my first step, Gideon next to me, my heart a thunderous noise in my ears, the thump almost deafening. When I stop in front of his front door, I’m frozen—the only feeling is Gideon’s hand on my lower back.

“You can do it,” he says, and I nod, swallowing loudly. My shaking finger extends and I push the doorbell, hearing the chime of it inside. There’s a cacophony of loud chatter that doesn’t stop.

Fuck, I’ve interrupted something.

Oh shit. I’m ruining his evening. I’m going to fucking ruin it.

I start to turn, to run away, but Basil opens the front door and cocks his head, trying to place me. Someone like him probably invites strangers over daily. I’m no one special, no one new.

But then his lips part and he smiles widely. “Hey! Mitch, right?”

Oh my god, he remembered my name. He fucking remembered.

I feel my mouth open and then close as Gideon’s hand curls into a fist behind me. Grounding me.

“Come. Come in. I’m so glad you came. My son, Landon, is here with his husband, Finn.”

I blink as Gideon gently guides me inside the house. Immediately, I see the kitty castle spanning an entire wall and feel myself start to calm. A man like this won’t hate a man like me, right?

“Did you bring the kitty?” he asks.

I clear my throat, feeling almost guilty at my admission. “She’s in the van.”

“Oh, you can’t leave her there. Bring her in. She can use Curie’s kitty hotel. I mean, it’s a castle really. She’ll love it.”

I turn to Gideon, who is biting back a grin, the chaos in the house almost overwhelming.

“I can grab her,” he says and then moves toward the front door, leaving me reeling.

God, don’t leave me.

Come back.

Please.

Just as I’m thinking that, something nibbles on my pant leg and I glance down at a goat. What the hell?

“Oh, that’s Vincent. He’s a goober. Oh, and Kevin the pig is outside. God, you’re gonna love her.”

I feel my eyebrows rise. “Kevin is a girl?”

“Yep! The one and only.”

He doesn’t even explain, just accepts it as completely normal. And fuck, maybe it is. Maybe I’m the one who was raised wrong. Maybe I’m the one who gave too much care to things that never mattered in the end.

“Anyway, come on. Come meet the fam!”

He slings an arm over my shoulder and guides me into the farmhouse kitchen where I see a woman and two young men standing around an island and chatting. The woman with curly hair is drinking wine. I assume she’s Basil’s wife with the way she eyes the man. The two guys, well…I can guess who is Basil’s. The two of them look similar. With the same build and same hair.

God, I can even see myself in him.

“Guys! This is my friend, Mitch!” Basil nearly crows.

All heads turn to stare at me, and the woman smiles kindly.

“Hello! Welcome.”

God, will she think this in a moment, when I confess the truth?

“This is Landon, Finn, and my wife, Jeanette,” Basil barrels on.

“Hi,” I manage to croak just as Gideon approaches, Pants in his arms. Basil croons over her and suggests he hold her, kissing her soft orange fur gently and nuzzling her affectionately.

“She’s adorable,” Basil says with a sigh.

“She is,” Gideon replies and then stands near my side, offering me his support silently.

God, I need him. I need him always.

His dark eyes meet mine, and I shake my head, not wanting to disrupt this family’s night.

Their family. One I’m not a part of.

“I’m sorry, if you’ll excuse us,” Gideon says, as he grabs on to my arms and leads me down a short hallway. The moment we’re alone, I find myself sagging against him, wanting to tuck myself inside his arms and never leave. I want him to shelter me from all the bad things moving forward. I want him to be strong for me.

“You can do it. You can,” he whispers.

My head shakes against his shoulder. “I’m going to ruin their lives. They seem happy.”

“They do seem happy. But they also seem understanding. I felt that the moment I stepped inside. It felt warm. Comforting.”

I swallow and nod, curling my fists into his shirt. “Please don’t leave me again.”

“Oh, baby, I won’t.”

He presses a soft kiss to my forehead and I breathe deeply, gleaning strength from his mere presence. When we walk back into the kitchen, we do so as a united front, my mind reeling with the need to tell Basil. To admit why I’m here, who he is to me. But before I can, the doorbell rings and Basil scampers toward it.

“More friends!” he cheers as he wrenches the door open and Jeanette takes another long sip of her wine, a dry grin on her lips.

“No, don’t worry about me. It’s my life. I’ve accepted it,” she tells me.

My mouth snaps shut, and I hear Gideon chuckle lowly beside me.

“You’re used to this, huh?” he asks.

“Like I said, this is my life. Never wanted anything else, to be honest. He’s a good man. Always has been.”

I stare at her, the open, easy manner she displays so kindly before turning toward Landon and Finn who are draped all over one another. Neither of them are paying any attention to me, too engrossed in one another, until I hear footsteps approach.

“Look who it is!” Basil nearly cries, and I turn, seeing Sem and Magnus behind me.

“Wh—?” I begin, but I’m at a loss for words when I see Emery and August, Matt and Cooper, and Max and Beau trail inside.

They came. They had no idea what I was going through, and they came.

My lips smack closed and then open, trying to form words.

I can’t find the words.

They came. They fucking came.

Why? Why are they here?

“Look at all our friends! It’s so good to see you again!” Basil cries and pulls Sem and Magnus into a hug before moving to Emery and August. He then turns toward Max and Matt, who Magnus introduces as his brothers, and proceeds to beam like a loon.

Basil, it seems, has never had more fun in his entire life. Jeanette eventually joins in, hugging and speaking to everyone, Landon and Finn on her heels. It’s obvious these people have met before and yet still, they came. To be with me.

“How?” I manage to croak, and only Magnus, who’s looking at me, his eyes wet, responds.

“Lex. Never mind. We’re here. We know.”

“Emery?” I ask, and he shakes his head.

“He pieced it together when I mentioned who you were. He insisted on coming. Said you couldn’t be left alone.”

Tears leak from my eyes amid the chaos, but no one notices except Gideon and Magnus, everyone else wrapped up in the people and animals surrounding us. Magnus’s lips form silent words, reassurance.

“I’m here.”

I feel the room start to ripple in my vision, yellows, greens and pinks.

Hope.

I sniffle loudly, a snort. An echo follows, and I glance down.

Oh fuck, there’s a pig. It’s wagging its tail and staring up at me.

Her name is Kevin.

I’m not alone.

“You’ve got this, baby,” Gideon whispers in my ear, and I lean into him, gathering strength from him, courage, something, I’ve never had before.

I can do it.

I fucking can.

“Basil.” My words are lost among everyone so I say them louder, a shout. “Basil!”

He turns to look at me and silence descends.

“I—” I can’t do this. I can’t. My heart races, my vision whiting out, and pretty soon, I’m on the ground, slumped forward, trying to find my breath. My brothers crowd around me, their words soothing me, their nearness everything.

It’s fucking everything to me.

But then I see him. Basil.

“You’re my dad,” I whisper and his eyes slam into mine, a confused look crossing his face.

“You’re my dad,” I repeat a little louder.

His eyebrows rise and he turns to look at Jeanette, who just pours herself another glass of wine.

“How old are you, Mitch?” she asks.

“Thirty-two.”

She processes a moment and then shrugs. “Good god. Seems there are three now,” she murmurs as Basil comes up next to me, his warm hand landing on my shoulder.

“Well, shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Seems we have things to talk about.”

I sag against him, my breath leaving my body in a whoosh.

“We do.”

“Come on. Let’s go outside. There’s a shed. It’s nice. Warm. Full of weed.”

I nod and let Gideon pull me into a hug before following him, my father, outside and glancing back at the people behind me. The ones who traveled so far to be with me.

“Thank you,” I manage to choke out.

“You’re welcome, bitch!” Emery screeches and then winces when Magnus nudges him in the side. “Sorry! I mean, good luck!”

He waves so hard that he smacks Sem in the chest.

But I barely notice. Yeah, luck. I fucking need it.

We walk outside, everyone’s gaze following us. My entire body is shaking from adrenaline and fear. On the opposite side of the yard is a shed near a large greenhouse. Outside is a goat, staring at us with its beady eyes.

“In here,” Basil says, opening the shed door, and the smell of marijuana hits me. “Might have had a hit of a joint or two in here a couple times. Want a carrot?” He holds up an orange vegetable, and when I shake my head, he crouches down and hands it to the goat who’s followed us inside. “So,” Basil says, his hands slipping into his pockets, his body rocking back and forth. “What did you say earlier? Just wanna make sure I heard you right.”

I stare at him, trying to form my words. “Um, well, a DNA test says you’re my dad.”

He leans back on his heels, staring at me with blinking eyes. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. My PI did a search through those ancestry results and I guess you must have done one at some point.”

He nods in realization. “That’s right. I thought they were so cool when they first came out. Fascinating stuff. I wanted to see if maybe I was part Viking.”

We stare at one another, the goat leisurely nibbling at things in the shed.

“So, do you have the proof? Not that I’m doubting you…just need to see it,” Basil asks, and I pull a paper from my back pocket. Gideon made sure I had this readily available, knowing that perhaps he’d want to see it.

I would if I were in his place. “Here,” I say, shoving the paper in his hand. “I didn’t ask my PI to do this, but he did. He got both our hair samples and sent it in just to be sure…we’re a match.”

Basil stares at the paper, his eyes watering. “Shit. Well, I never knew.”

“Me either.”

“How did I never know?”

“My mom.”

His eyes slam into mine. “What’s her name?”

“Toni.”

He pulls his teeth between his lips and then shakes his head. “No clue who that is. I’m sorry. I spent my late teens and early twenties baked. Anyone could have slipped into my life and I wouldn’t have noticed. Can I see a picture?”

I fumble with my phone and with shaking hands, hold it out to him, a family picture of us taken a few years ago pulled up.

He stares at it and shakes his head again. “Sorry. No clue.”

“It’s not your fault. It was her choice.”

He bobs his head and then asks, “Your dad…your other dad…”

“He’s awful,” I reply, my voice cracking. “He’s so fucking awful.” Basil moves toward me, the paper falling onto the ground, the goat gobbling it up. But I’m in his arms and he’s squeezing me tightly. “Shit, I’ve missed out on so much.”

“I know.”

“We’ll make up for it. I want to get to know you.”

“Why—” I clear my throat, trying like hell not to break down. “Why is this so easy for you?”

“You’re my son. Of course it’s easy.”

I glance away quickly, my eyes leaking. I quickly swipe at them, trying like hell to keep it together. “I really need to tell Jeanette all of this. She’s very cool, but she should know the details.”

“Yeah. I get it.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, Mitch.”

“I know.”

“I have a family.”

“Yeah,” I reply, my chest tightening with sadness, but then his words soften the blow.

“But, moving forward, I hope my family includes you.”

My eyes slam into his and he smiles softly. “Shit, I’ve always wanted three kids. And I’d like you to be my son, Mitch. I don’t know you, but I already want you.”

How can that be? Someone who doesn’t know me…someone who’s never really met me, wanting me?

“I know that you probably think that’s crazy. But listen, Mitch, I have a lot of love to give. And I’m fucking glad to give it to you.”

“Okay,” is all I manage to croak out.

Basil nods and then pulls away, his face calm but full of regret.

“I’m sorry I was never there, that I didn’t know about you. I really am.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’ll have Lex try to piece together how it happened, but based on your age, I bet it was my freshman year of college. Don’t remember much of that, to be honest.”

“That’s okay. I don’t…I don’t need to know what happened. And I don’t want you to meet her either. I don’t…she’s not a good person, Basil.”

He ponders that and then nods. “I’ll think on it, but right now, how about we go back inside and break the news to everyone? And then would you like to stay for some dessert? I baked a few pies. Rhubarb, blueberry, apple. Grew all of them by myself.”

I nod and shuffle on my feet. This guy bakes pies, he smiles, and gives hugs. I bet he even fucking cries openly.

Shit, who am I? Who could I have been with him in my life? No, no need to dwell on that. Who could I be with him moving forward?

Better.

I can be better.