Chapter Lost and Found
Warning!!
Before you read this chapter, please be aware that it mentions depression. If you want to skip reading this chapter please scroll to the bottom, and read my comment on what happens.
Aviry
Thirty minutes before the fight…
I was surrounded by darkness. I was alone, curled into myself. This is how it’s always been when I dream. This is the only place where I can allow other feelings to come in—sadness, from being alone. Desperation, from having no one. For twenty-one years, I have always been solitary. I want someone who won’t abandon me. And finally fear, I’m afraid to let anyone in. I don’t want to be hurt, to be judged for who I am.
“I’m here for you, Aviry. You’ll never be alone again.” A small voice said from the darkness.
“Who’s there? Please just leave me here.” I whispered.
“I can’t do that. I’m a part of you. I’m going to be here with you forever.” The voice was getting closer. “Come on, Aviry, you look pitiful. You need to wake up and get us the fuck out of here.”
“Go away…this is the only place I belong.” I curled in tighter.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you, but I’m here now. We’ll be able to be together from now on.” A brief pause. “Just get up, do it for me, Aviry.”
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Wow, that hurt. I know we’ve only just started talking, but who the fuck else do you talk to in your head?” The other presence snapped.
“Mia? But how… never mind. I am going crazy, talking to myself inside and out of reality.”
“Well, technically, this is reality. You’re in our headspace right now. Here we can talk to each other, just like you would in person. We can see each other and even feel each other physically.”
“Oh god, I am crazy, just shut up…” I slapped my hands against my head, trying to clear the voice out.
“Slap a little harder Aviry. I can feel myself slowly fading away.” The voice said sarcastically.
“What do you want! Can’t you see that I’m already depressed? I don’t need an imaginary friend to make me feel better.”
“I take strong offense to that. I’m not imaginary. You already gave me a name. Thanks to you, we have the same personality. Now you need to see my appearance, so we can finally meet face to face.”
“So, you say you’re not imaginary, but you want me to imagine you an appearance?”
“No, I said see, as in you already know what I look like, but it’s so fucking dark in your mind you can’t find me. You have to let me in Aviry. You have to fully accept me as a part of you, not just as your inner voice but also as an actual entity.”
I didn’t answer, not wanting to admit to liking this. Even if I still think this is all in my head. I can’t risk even Mia leaving me.
Mia sighed, “I’m not going to leave you, Aviry. For once in your life. You’ll have me with you. Forever and always.
“What am I supposed to do? Can’t you tell me what you look like?”
“Open your eyes, stand up, and walk to my voice,” Mia replied.
I did as she said slowly walking, with arms outstretched.
“That’s it, Aviry, keep going.” Mia beckoned.
“Well, fuck Mia, if you can see me come to me.”
“This is a journey of discovery.” Mia laughed. “I’ve already accepted you. Now it’s your turn.”
“Ok, what is exactly did you accept about me, Mia?” I asked, still walking towards her voice. “There’s nothing good about me. I have nothing to offer,”
“Your strong Aviry physically and emotionally. Determined to succeed in everything that you do. You don’t let shit hold you down. You fight your way to the top and conquer anyone in your way. You don’t allow people to walk over you. Instead, they either worship you or avoid crossing paths with you.”
I continued walking, searching through the dark, listening to Mia's, encouraging words.
“You don’t back down from a fight. You push your limits and come out victorious.” Her voice was closer; I could almost feel her, so I stopped short.
“You are a strong, fiercely independent woman, Aviry. And I accept everything about you.”
With those last words, I leaped forward and latched on to what is Mia. Light exploded all around us. A warmth that I have never felt before lit up my life. I dug myself deeper into Mia, and she nudged me with her big furry head.
I slowly opened my eyes to see my Mia, a bright white wolf with the same odd eye pattern as mine. A black crescent moon on her forehead, and black-tipped ears. She was huge, her claws sharper than knives.
“Are you afraid of me, Aviry?” Mia asked, nudging me with her head.
“Never Mia, I feel so warm and…safe.” I rubbed the head of my fantastic wolf and smiled brightly. “I accept everything about you, Mia. But how is this possible.”
“I’m not sure, Aviry, we were abandoned. We know nothing of our family history. But one thing I do know is that we shouldn’t tell anyone about this. We have a secret advantage over everyone.”
“So does this mean that I can, you know…change as Nix did?”
“I think so, but I’m not sure how or why we haven’t yet,” Mia said.
“I mean, this explains a lot like my strength, my mood changes, haha, even my murderous tendencies.”
“That’s all you Aviry; I just amplify it. And now that we’ve accepted each other. Our bond is even stronger. When you’re pissed, I’m pissed. When you want to kill, I want to destroy.” Mia licked my face. “We’ll figure this out together. It just so happens that we’re in the right place to learn more. But let’s give them a little hell.”
“Hell to the yeah, nothing can stop us!”I shouted, hugging Mia.
“Damn straight, now hop on my back. It’s time to wake up. Let’s see what we can do with our upgraded strength.”
I climbed on Mia's back and held onto her soft What hair as she shot off across the lighted path.
“When you get back, be sure to channel all of our strength. Standing around you currently are three males. Each of them like us, but less powerful." Mia said.
"I'll take them out, and when we get attention from Nix. We’ll find a way outside of the house. This way, we can prove how worthy we are to be his champion, and we can also show that we aren’t prisoners, and we can leave if we really wanted to.” I finished off her plan.
Mia is fantastic. I felt amazing being with her. I’ll no longer feel alone, and my dreams going forward will be filled with my beautiful wolf.
“Ok, here we go, Aviry, give them hell on earth. Remember, I am always here. You’ll never be alone again. See you soon, my champion.”