Rejecting the Alpha

I walked to meet my mate for supper draped with the feeling that I was being led to my own execution. A pack member I did not know took me down the hall to a fancy private dining room that was near to my mate's rooms. My horrible mate was already there waiting. He met my eyes as we entered for a moment before his gaze wandered down the rest of my body. A pleasing yet creepy feeling followed the path of his gaze and I shivered.

His eyes were dark as he helped me into my chair as if he were civilized rather than a savage murderer. He took his own seat and I tried to block my distaste more firmly when I saw his brows furrow in line with my emotion.

A pair of pack members brought out a first course, some sort of soup. I ate slowly, ever aware of the presence across the table from me.

Although he said nothing, I could feel his gaze on me through the silence that was only broken by the clinks of our spoons on our bowls. A second course was brought out, and finally he spoke.

"What is upsetting you?" He spoke the question like it was somehow foreign to him.

I decided to be honest. "My parents weren't down there, Alpha. Neither were my brothers. A lot of my former pack was not down there."

"Anyone who was captured is down there," he said.

I voiced a hopeful spark. "Did anyone get away?"

"There was the scent of an injured male and a pup found through the lines, but they're likely dead as well without a pack. Rogues don't live very long. Otherwise, it's unlikely anyone escaped."

I swallowed, hard. It was unlikely that the survivor had been my father or one of my brothers, but whoever it was, I hoped they would survive. I released a breath. "My parents really are dead, aren't they?"

"Likely."

I felt a few tears trickle down as I looked at my food. Any appetite I had vanished.

His low calm rumble crossed the table. "My parents are dead, as well."

I sniffled. "What happened to them?"

"I killed my father when I challenged him to become alpha. He was getting weak, and he refused to step aside willingly. My mother died a few months after his death."

My eyes found his in shock. The way he talked so matter-of-factly about killing his father, and surely his mother as well indirectly, terrified me. I could feel nothing at all coming from him. I searched for something else to say. "How about the rest of your family?"

"My sister is also dead, but I have a brother out there. He fled like a coward when I challenged our father."

Like a coward, or like someone who understood the danger he was in. I did not blame him. I rather wished to emulate him. "What happened to your sister?" I dared to ask.

"She challenged me. She tried to protect Thedric."

"Your brother? What were you going to do to him?"

"Nothing, if he had simply submitted to my rule."

"Do you kill everyone who challenges you?" I asked, heart in my throat.

"Yes. So don't push me, mate."

He did not seem upset, so I enquired further. "You'll kill me?"

He frowned. "No. I need an heir, and you're the best match for me."

A shiver swept through me at the thought of bearing this man's pups. It was a nightmare, but my wolf adored the thought of bearing her mate's offspring.

I wanted to throw up, but I resisted the urge. "You want me to mother your pups..."

"Of course."

I summoned my courage and said, "I want you to let my old pack go free."

He chuckled, but there was no amusement coming from the void. "I'm not letting my enemies free, mate."

"It would," I swallowed, "make me happy that what was left of my birth pack was not being held as prisoners."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

I nodded. "I think, maybe, I could come to, um, like you more if you did that for me, alpha, as a sort of amends for the past." It was nowhere near enough, but if I could get them out of there...

"No. I did what I did for the good of my pack and there's no need to make amends."

I did not argue, instead I just let my shoulders slump in defeat.

The second course was removed, and the third brought in. I pushed it around my plate with my fork, but didn't eat. He either did not notice or did not comment.

A dessert course was finally brought, and I took a couple bites of something chocolate before giving up my attempt to eat. When he finished everything, he got up, and rounded the table and held out his hand expectantly.

I gingerly placed my own hand in his. I could feel the uncomfortable electricity between us as he pulled me to my feet and led me not in the direction of his room but to some external doors leading to a balcony.

He seemed to be waiting for me to say something. The view of the sunset stretching out over the forest was lovely, but what did I care? I forced myself to speak. "It's nice."

I felt his solid heat slide up behind me and his arms wrapped around me. "These are my lands, and now yours as well, since you are my luna."

I didn't want to be his luna. "I don't even know your name," I pointed out, trying to establish some distance between us.

"Why do you want to know?" he asked.

"You don't want me to leave you, but—"

I realized the mistake of my words as a low growl emitted from his throat, and through the bond I felt an overwhelming rage that startled me in the contrast to his usual cool apathy. His eyes flashed gold. I tried to jerk away but he held me tighter.

I struggled to think of an explanation that would be good enough to calm him. "I wasn't saying I was going to leave you, I was saying that you want me to stay, but I know nothing about you, besides what you've done."

He did not release me, but some of his tension left. Not entirely, but enough, and then he spun me around, trapping me against the railing by his bulk. I could see the gold of his wolf in his eyes.

I suddenly understood. The rage was coming from the wolf, overpowering the blank emotionlessness of the man. There was no good way for me to handle the situation, other than trying to deceive him. I looked into the wolf's eyes, and tried to sound and feel sincere in spite of my distaste. "I can't get closer to you if you won't let me."

"I'm Gavriel," he said, but then brought his mouth down onto mine. The sparks of connection between me and the murderer flew, and I hated how good it felt. His hands wandered as they had the previous day, and I struggled to rein in the influence of my wolf and the bond on my mind. It was wrong, it was terrible, but it felt so good.

Finally, I managed to push him away.

He growled low in his throat. "I don't want to," I said, and then I quickly added, "yet." I had to buy time.

His eyes grew darker and I thought for a moment he would force the issue. His eyes were black with the frustration I could feel slamming me through the bond.

"Fine," he said. "Come with me."