Rejecting the Alpha

Kylie

I curled up in the centre of the bed, my eyes on the door that had shut my mate away from me. My wolf was a mass of twisting confusion. She was afraid of him, but she also wanted to be close to him. I could feel him even though he was gone through the mark of possession he had forced onto my neck.

It didn't feel like any of the bonds to my pack. He felt cold and empty where there should have been heat and emotion, at least anger or rage. But there was nothing. He was a void where a person should be.

My eyes welled up with tears as everything hit me, hard and painful. So many were dead. I didn't know what happened to my parents or my siblings. They more than likely were dead. I tried to reach out to them and my friends in vain, and my heart broke with every failed attempt. Surely Andrea was still alive, but the frayed pack bond must have finally snapped.

I was alone, except for the empty monster who had claimed me as his own.

I cried until my head hurt and no more liquid pushed out of my aching eyes. I needed to escape this place, but first I needed to find a way to get the survivors away. I was the only one who had even a chance to save them, so I was going to need to be brave.

There had never been a need to be brave before. I wasn't a warrior and I had still been deciding what I wanted to do with my life when he had destroyed everything.

I sniffled again.

There had to be a way to escape. I just had to survive until I found it.

At a certain point, I tried the door and confirmed it was locked, as were the doors to the balcony. I wandered his room for a while, still wrapped in the blanket. Would he really keep me locked in his bedroom, naked?

This was nothing like the innocent dreams of a mate I had once had. This was a nightmare.

More tears, apparently I hadn’t yet run out. My throat was dry, so I went into his sickeningly high end bathroom and lapped water from the tap. If I completely wasted away, the remainder of my pack was doomed.

They might be, anyway, but I had to try. I could live for that, for now, and for my eventual escape.

I inspected the mark on my neck in the mirror. It had already healed, but it was still visible, more red and angry than normal mate marks, probably because of the way he had forced it on me. I hated him so much, I wondered if he could feel it through this new link. I almost hoped he did.

Abandoning the bathroom and passing the repugnant bed, I walked over the wide window. The ledge was fairly wide, so I curled up on the corner of the windowsill and looked out at the world I couldn't reach, half hoping to see someone familiar alive and...not well, but at least still breathing.

When the door handle rattled I was still sitting there. I tried not to react to the sound, but my heart sped up anxiously. My wolf whined pitifully in her confusion.

He stepped inside and all my muscles stiffened.

"Mate."

I didn't move, not sure what I could do. He brought over a tray and set it on the windowsill next to me. It was covered in an array of food, and my stomach grumbled against my will. I kept my hands curled around myself instead of reaching for it.

He was standing there silently.

"I can feel something through our link, I don't know what. Is this fear?"

Obviously I was afraid. He was a monster.

"Are you afraid of me, mate?"

I finally looked at him. "Of course I'm afraid of you. You killed my people, probably my whole family, and now you're holding the safety of the other survivors hostage. You marked me against my will. How could I not be afraid of you?"

His perplexed expression rekindled the anger inside me and it burned through my fear.

"Why didn't you just kill me, too?"

His frown deepened and I saw the golden brown of his wolf eyes flash through his own. "Are you rejecting me?" A pulse of anger spilled from the void, the first emotion I had felt from him.

I wanted to reject him, regardless of what he might do to me, but what would he do to his other prisoners if I wasn't around to try to save them? "No."

He relaxed slightly. "I wouldn't kill you, I won't hurt you, you're mine."

"You've already hurt me."

"The mark will heal."

"I don't care about the mark. You can't bring back anyone you've murdered. You can't bring back my parents or any of the others."

"No, I can't. They shouldn't have challenged me."

I felt more tears spill out unbidden. He seemed more confused than ever. "Don't cry."

"I can't help it." They wouldn't stop coming. I wanted to be strong, but they seeped out through the cracks in my shattered heart.

"What can I do?" he finally asked.

"I want to see my pack," I said between sobs.

He growled. "This is your pack."

I just cried harder. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop the wracking sobs. I was afraid he would hurt me, or worse, them. It would be all my fault if I couldn't get myself under control.

He moved closer and I found myself scooped up and carried to the bed again, sitting with me sideways on his lap. I whimpered. This was not what I wanted. I hated him, but at the same time having him hold me calmed me.

And it was all his fault in the first place. My anger resurged. My poor wolf growled and whimpered inside me. She wanted to caress him. She wanted to kill him.

My mind was not conflicted, when I pushed aside my grief for long enough to think clearly. I only wanted him dead for what he had done. I couldn't stay with him. I didn't want to be his. There was no way for him to repair the damage he had done to our bond before he had even met me.

Maybe, just maybe, I might have been able to find a way to care about this empty monster if he had not done what he had done to my pack.

"Your feelings have changed," he commented. "They're harsher. What is this?"

"Stop invading my feelings."

"I can't stop. They're like rain, falling on me."

Another involuntary whimper escaped me. I needed to learn to shield my emotions better, to hide them from him. I had been able to do it with my old pack link, I could surely learn to with this new and more intimate-bond as well.

"I don't understand you, but I need to make you less jagged. It's like you're scraping at my brain, ever since I marked you. You need to stop."

"I don't know what you mean, I don't know how."

"Scraping."

"You're scaring me," I said, hoping he would listen to me. Surely the bond at least would make him not want to hurt me. He said he didn't want to hurt me. His heat radiated into me, bringing comfort and terror. Death flashed along my memories.

"I'll take you to see your former pack, if that will soothe you."

I just nodded.

He got up and set me on my feet.

"Um, can I have clothes?" I asked.

He looked surprised, for a moment. "Help yourself. I'll get Marie to get you something that fits better. He went silent, presumably linking the female he mentioned. I searched his closet and drawers and found a pair of pants with a drawstring and a shirt.

Glancing at him, I saw he was watching me. Taking a deep breath, I let the blanket fall and quickly slipped into the shirt and pulled on the pants, his gaze burning into me the entire time.

I buttoned the shirt and tied the drawstring before turning around. I rolled the cuffs so I wouldn’t trip. At least the clothing were baggy enough he probably wouldn't find me attractive.

He stepped forward and ran his mouth over my mark. "You're starting to smell like me," he said, obviously pleased. I held myself stiffly and hoped he would get tired of what he was doing, while little shivers of pleasure began to radiate from where he played with my skin.

He was getting distracted from what he said he would do, so I risked speaking. "My pa—" I caught myself. "My former pack?"

He stepped away from me slightly. "Yes. Let's go." He adjusted his pants, and opened the door, allowing me to leave ahead of him.

Apprehension filled me as we walked out into the hall.