Chapter 17
I watched for my opening. Apparently they had, at least in part, anticipated my next move, because nothing sharper than a butter knife came near the alpha's room.
I was also not allowed access anything resembling rope or to medication other than when Marie watched me take my prescription, but those things were useless to me anyways.
Something sharp was what I needed.
Up until that point, I had touched the alpha's possessions as little as possible, partly out of fear and partly out of revulsion, but now I had no reservations left. I dug through the clothing and toiletries that had not been rescued and taken to wherever the monster was now sleeping—probably with that whore—and then through every other corner of his room. It was devoid of personal touches, I found no pictures or anything else besides the items he used day to day.
The room was tidy and devoid of sentimentality, just what I would expect from a man who didn't feel and a wolf who didn't care about such human matters.
Frustrated, I sank down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. I hated every corner of the room as much as I hated my horrible mate. I didn't really want to die, I wanted freedom. Maybe I wanted him to die. Would I cry if someone killed him?
Maybe out of happiness.
I considered confiding my plans to Marie, but even if she agreed, she might be subject to the alpha's wrath once I was gone. She needed to be innocent in everything, for her own safety. She had been kind enough that I did not want to see his wrath rebound upon her.
I finally reached the point where I accepted they were not going to let me near anything resembling an actual weapon, so it was time to make my own.
Standing in the washroom, I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked nothing like the young woman I had once been, my eyes were hollow and my cheekbones stuck out more than they had from my lack of appetite. I probably should have eaten more in preparation for my escape, but it was too late now. I could not wait another minute.
I locked the bathroom door and grabbed the shower curtain rod. Summoning the strength of my wolf and my determination, I held the rod like a javelin and slammed it into the mirror, over and over until shards of glass littered the sink and countertop.
I picked through the debris and found a long, sharp shard. I wrapped the blunt end in a towel to protect my hand. There was a knock and Joe's voice came through the door as they checked the room, asking me if I was okay.
"I'm fine," I said loudly to them. "I just dropped something."
Then, I called out to my mate through our link and felt the void on the other side. "Call off your guards. I want to talk to you now."
There was no response. Was he ignoring me again? I gritted my teeth, but then he did respond. "What happened? The guards heard something breaking."
"You'll find out when you come here."
"Come out and talk to them."
"No. And if they try to break in I'll cut my own wrists. Good luck forcing me to carry your heir then, Alpha." I forced the feeling of my resolve to escape through our bond to mask the bluff for what it was. For the first time since the massacre, I felt in control, because he didn't want me to die.
There was a long pause. "Fine. I'm coming. Don't do anything."
"I won't, if you tell them to leave me alone."
"It's done."
I didn't respond. Once I heard the clicking of the door, I cautiously cracked open the washroom a bit. The room was empty, so I leaned against the window ledge, clutching my makeshift weapon.
Alpha Gavriel opened the door, his eyes sweeping the room to rest on me. I held the shard of mirror flush against my throat and met his eyes, golden with the panic of his wolf. Good. He was taking the threat seriously.
"Mate, I—"
"Here are your choices, Alpha. The first is that you let me leave Stonemason."
He growled but I ignored it.
"Your second choice is that I slice my own neck open with this shard."
"No."
"Yes. Even if you somehow stop me now—" I held the shard close enough to nick my skin, the scent of blood hitting both our noses "—I'll never stop trying, and it will hurt Stonemason to have a luna who only wants to die."
He frowned, his eyes never leaving mine.
I was never coming back, but I wanted him to have false hope with the first option. "I need to heal, somewhere else. Too much has happened to me here. Maybe, someday, I could return and things would be different. But not like this. Even my wolf is coming to hate you, and once you lose her, there's nothing left, Alpha."
"I won't let you go."
I stared him down. "You're going to lose me either way."
He swore, the first sign of emotion he expressed besides the wolf in his eyes. How did he like being backed into a corner with no good choices?
"Five," I said, not blinking.
"Mate."
"Four."
"Kylie."
"Three."
He growled again.
"Two." I pushed the blade harder into my skin by my jugular. It hurt and a trickle slid down my neck.
"Don't do this."
"One." Harder still. The pain was nothing compared to everything he had done to me.
A muscle in his jaw jumped.
"Zer—"