: Chapter 123
~Kade~
I stood in the door frame. My eyes scanned over her broken body, and I listened in on her heartbeat. I couldn’t step over the threshold. Anna’s words were running amok in my head, and I was contemplating turning around and walking away. When did this become so hard? The idea of truth and lie, fable or reality—it was like I no longer knew what I wanted. The walls were turning bleak, the sounds were closing out, and everything around her was growing dark until she was the only light in the tunnel I could see, leading me down the darkest road I’d taken, alone and honestly a little afraid. The thought of fear never coincided with me; it was an emotion I knew others would occasionally have, and they would be vocal about it, but I could never put myself in their shoes. Fear wasn’t very common for an Alpha, not in my family at least, and now, suddenly, the blood in my veins was turning cold, and my muscles were in constant tension. The idea of Nathaniel coming into my pack with his men, fighting my warriors or attacking my people; I was afraid. In a moment where I should be solid as a rock, I felt like the kid who hid in the conference room and listened in on my father meeting with the other Alphas.
I was so excited to take over. Then, I met Danielle, and it was as though everything fell perfectly into place. I had a mate, I led my pack, and I felt like the king of the world.
Only after she left did I realize my mistake in thinking too highly of myself because it turned out that I had nothing except a title. I had no respect from the other packs, my people saw me as a friend and not a leader, and my family worried about any upcoming fight because of my cocky behavior.
When Danielle left, everything became apparent. I hated everything at the time, and I was mad, but I began earning respect and trust from those around me, including the Alphas. I grew as a leader; I found my place, and then Layla came into my life. That first night at the Meeting Of Alphas, when her scent sifted through the air and up my nose, I swear I was ready to grab her and leave.
Danielle’s lips were pressed together softly. She no longer needed the tube to help her breathe.
Her heart sounded strong.
I took a deep breath and stepped into the room.
Everything was so quiet, yet my memories played loudly in my mind.
Layla’s eyes met mine as I sat down next to Sebastian. Her breaths hitched in her throat, and her thighs pressed tightly together to hide the scent of her arousal. The way her cheeks flushed, her eyes fluttered, and how she hurried away to the bathroom when the need became too strong were still vivid in my mind.
I remember her fight when I wanted to take her with me, the patience I had to practice and the amusement I felt of being challenged. I could’ve so easily tossed her over my shoulder and taken her home, but I wanted her to choose to come. Day after day, we tried to move forward, not knowing the secrets both of us were keeping. We never stood a chance because we didn’t start it when we should’ve. Layla didn’t trust me, and maybe that was because she sensed that I didn’t trust her. She was the second Emberclaw to step into my home, into my heart, and I protected myself so well that she was left behind the walls I built up. Enter Danielle, the first woman who ever held my heart in her hands. I gave her everything, everything I had and everything I was, and still, she left only to return when it suited her.
Seeing her that day felt like someone opened my heart again and thawed all of the feelings I had kept on ice since the day she had left. However, I’d never be able to erase the look of fear on Layla’s face when she found out who Danielle was and that she was back. I should’ve told her about the fifth floor. Every day since Layla had run away, I wanted to change so many things I did wrong. I would’ve held Layla’s hand when she came here that first day. I would’ve trusted her with my family and my pack; I would’ve taken her to the fifth floor and told her the entire story, only to take a sledgehammer to the rooms after I was done. I would’ve promised her never to hide a single thing from the only woman I wanted in my life. I would’ve closed the door on Danielle when she came. I would’ve gone to sleep with Layla, knowing everything that went on in her life and her head, and I would’ve placed a kiss on her lips and tried to take every ounce of pain away from her. I would look for a way to carry her burdens or at least help carry one side to ease the load.
Layla looked at me in a way I had never experienced; she saw past the walls I built. However, she never said anything, and I never asked. We kept each other at arm’s length and thought we could build a future like that.
I stood next to Danielle’s bed now. There was a chair in the corner that I grabbed and put next to her.
I chose Danielle, knowing in my heart what that would do to Layla because I knew of Danielle’s early betrayal, and part of me liked that I couldn’t be hurt again.
Layla had the power to break my heart, my second chance mate, so I made sure that I couldn’t be hurt. Instead, I cost myself my entire future.
I grabbed her hand; it was warm, and her skin was as soft as always.
I circled my thumb on the back of her hand and drew a deep breath. The sounds of the doctors and nurses in the hall returned, the beeping of the machines started filling the room, and the walls turned white as her color returned.
“I know you’re awake. I know what you did,” I said and watched as her eyes opened smoothly. She drew a breath.