#Chapter 19 What didn't I give you?
Rachel POV
Outside Camelot Records Auditorium
"Enough is right, Tyler! Stop!"
I tugged as hard as I could against his towing grasp. My heels nearly snapped from the effort to hold me still as he tried to pull me inexorably onward to who-knew-where. I was tired of letting this male drag me through life.
Tyler could say what he had to say and then let me go.
We both had separate lives to lead. Enough time had been lost by both of us on this misery of a mating.
"What do you want from me, Rachel?"
Tyler was nearly shouting in my face. I couldn't get over the level of fury in his voice. How had I angered him so much? Was it so terrible I'd gotten a job? Should I have talked to him before signing the contract with Camelot Records? I couldn't understand why he was acting furious all of a sudden.
"What do you want from me, Tyler?"
I clasped my hands in front of my body to keep them from shaking visibly. I wouldn't show any more weakness than I already had. Tyler was a powerful Alpha to my omega breeding and the differences between us had never been so obvious. He towered over me. Come to that, Tyler was even taller than Nathan who was an Alpha in his own right.
"Are you really this angry about the contract? I didn't use your name. I didn't mention you at all. There's no connection between us on paper or anywhere else I can think of so why?"
"I don't care about your recording contract.”
"Then why are you here? Why are you shouting at me? Dragging me around? What do you want from me?"
Tyler grimaced at me, "You are infuriating. I've taken care of you, haven't I? You've had the best of everything. Clothes, shoes, bags. Jewelry! I made sure you had access to an account for the household expenses. Your schooling you wanted was arranged. What didn't I give you?"
"What didn't you---Tyler.”
I was stunned as I realized he really had no idea how isolative the last years had been for me. I opened and closed my mouth twice before finally realizing I would have to tell him because he wouldn't recognize on his own.
"Tyler, you never loved me.”
Tyler made a rude sound, "Love! I provided for you. That's better than love."
"No, Tyler,” I shook my head sadly, "It really is not. There's no substitute for love. We are better off apart because you can't see that and it's all I can see. Please, Tyler. For your sake. For my sake. Give me my rejection.”
"Rejection, rejection, rejection! You're trying my patience beyond what any man could stand!”
"Let me go! That's all you have to do! Why can't you just let me go?"
"Fine!" Tyler roared, grabbing me by my arms and shaking me hard enough to rattle my teeth, "I will give you the rejection you want! Tomorrow at noon! Be at the Goddess shrine or I swear you will regret it, Rachel.”
"I'll be there. I will!"
Tyler let me go as if he couldn't stand to be near me for one more second and I clasped my hands over my stomach instinctively as a roil of nausea reminded me I wasn't alone anymore. My body really needed to adapt to pregnancy faster. I wasn't going to have time to pamper myself with my tour schedule.
I would have to be very, very careful about how I was captured by the media, too. Tyler was unhappy about letting me go; I couldn't imagine how he would react if he found out I was leaving him with his potential heir in tow.
Going back into the auditorium, I looked around until I saw my group again.
Charlotte Wright was clinging to Nathan Lewis as if he were her lifesaver and she'd die without him. He was a fine man along with being a fine catch for a mate. She could do a lot worse for House Wright than snagging the heir of House Lewis.
Howard was smiling his shark's smile which told me he was holding Charlotte back for me. He was proving to be a wonderful resource. I was grateful he'd signed me to Camelot Records.
Dylan Roberts was having a sidebar conversation with a furious Tyler. I knew Dylan as Tyler's close friend better than I knew him as the driving force behind Camelot Records. He was far above my station as the newest hire on the label. I would have to prove myself many times over to warrant his time.
My knees went weak as I saw Bella's anxious face peeking around Howard. I had worried she was still trapped out in the lobby! She must have been escorted through by security early.
"Howard," I asked, touching his arm to get his attention, "I'm feeling terrible. Is it possible for me to skip out early on this mixer? I promise I'll double up on interviews or speak in private with people or even do lunch dates? Dinner dates? I just need---I need to get home tonight. Is that at all possible?” Howard's eyes swept over my face and he must have found what he was looking for because he nodded, "Of course. I'll make excuses tonight and we can pass it off as being overwhelming for your first night in the spotlight. Good deal?"
Stage fright was a foreign concept to me. I had been performing before an audience all my life in one way or another, but I nodded eagerly.
I would take any escape Howard could offer me. The very last thing I wanted was to be ill in front of reporters and potentially Tyler as well.
"Thank you, Howard. You're a lifesaver!"
"Let's get out of here," Bella agreed, wrapping her slim arm around my waist so we could slide through the crowd together more easily.
I let her lead me out, waving a few times when it seemed as if someone wanted to come over. I hoped I wasn't being taken as rude, but it was a risk I was willing to use as a trade off to get out of the mixer. How was I going to hide a pregnancy as I got further along? I wasn't even visibly pregnant yet I felt as if the world could tell already.
When we reached the sidewalk, Bella waved down a cab and I directed, "We need to go to the hospital please. Right now."
Bella looked at me with alarm and I sighed.
I wasn't feeling very enthusiastic about explaining myself to my best friend.
"Have you made a decision? You know you can wait until tomorrow. Sleep on it."
I shook my head, "No. I've decided. I just need to get through this before I lose my nerve.”
Bella took my hand in hers and I held on gratefully. I could use someone to be my anchor in the storm. We were in this together even if I had never wanted to make my problems into Bella's or to interfere with her life as much as I had over the years.
We unloaded at the hospital where I went into the ER to register. I wasn't making the choice Bella imagined. I was so nauseated though---something would have to be done if I was going to survive any more public appearances.
An attendant took me back quickly after finding out I was pregnant. I was grateful for their haste. They had me strip myself into a gown before taking me for an ultrasound. I didn't think it was necessary, but I was excited by the prospect of seeing my baby on the screen.
"There they are! All safe. See, Mama? Your little one is growing right along."
"Can you tell if they're healthy?"
"Absolutely," the technician said, moving the wand and pointing on the screen to various parts of the anatomy, "Arms and legs are forming. You can see the flutter of the heart. Too early for a gender right now, but it won't be long. The first one is always the most magical, I think."
I had wanted a large family. The reality was this might be my only child since I had rejected my mate. There was no guarantee the Moon Goddess would grant me a second chance mate and, even if she did, another child wasn't a certainty. Werewolf families were choosing to be more particular in their breeding habits.
Tyler had never wanted children because he only saw them as being used for bargaining chips in Alpha households.
I waited until I was dressed again to ask about something I would be able to take for nausea while moving through the early stages of pregnancy.
No matter what decision I might have considered before seeing my baby on the monitor: I was not giving up my child now.
The baby in my belly had gone from a problem I needed to solve to being a person whose existence I would do everything in my power to protect. No one would take my child from me. He or she would be loved. They would have their needs met. I wouldn't be able to give them a traditional family upbringing, but I was confident I could raise a child with enough love for two parents. "Alright, lady," I said, tugging Bella up from her seat in the lobby, "Let's get us home. We're having a baby and we need our rest."
"You're serious this time, then? You're keeping it?"
"I'm keeping it," I agreed.
"We're gonna be great!" Bella crowed, spinning me around before hugging me hard, "Oh, I'm sorry! You're not going to be sick are you?"
"No. I'm good for now. They gave me some medication for nausea. Well, medication and recommendations for ginger ale and crackers.”
I gave Bella a wry grin as we made our way out to head home again. I had a feeling we were going to be buying stock in ginger ale and crackers if my little one had anything to say about it!