Rejected Mate and Following Fate

I missed the journey home, thankfully. Not by intention, but because my body just passed out on me without my having a say on
the matter. I intended to lay on the bed near Carmen for a while, in case she needed to talk to someone, give her some support
for something I’ve experienced too. Somehow sleep took over and the last memory I had was gazing at her lonely figure across
from me. Last night’s tension, the camping out in the open air, and no real shut eye, all the emotional heaviness of the past few
days just kicked my ass, and my maybe the growing lives inside of me too. The next thing I know I’m waking to subtle thuds on
the truck walls and jump awake, startled by the rattle as though something is caving in through the roof over my head.
Carmen is sat up on the other bed, her knees pulled into her chest, looking like she too slept the whole time and didn’t switch
places with Meadow to drive at any point. She seems to be staring blankly at the back window, her expression blank, her face
pale from dried tears and showing nothing of any kind of emotion. I turn to, to follow her gaze and see the fog, thinned out across
the glass, and containing the dark figures of wolves once again trying to get in with running jumps. I realize we’re back at the
homestead already, the banging is the second wave of the wolves attacking our truck, so I slept for more than seven hours
straight.
“Nothing’s changed here then.” I point out with a deflated tone, flinching with every new thud over us and Carmen silently shakes
her head. All her energy and vigor is gone, and she just seems lifeless and empty. Her mood is like a dense smoke in itself and
holds only sadness and melancholy. I wonder how many tears she shed before her emotional exhaustion knocked her out and
can do nothing to console her.
I glance up towards the front and see that in my place the witch is parting the fog so Meadow can drive safely onto the dirt track,
back to our main entrance and we’re almost there. Leyanne seems relaxed, Meadow too, as though the seven hours of chatting
time has mellowed any mistrust between them. I wish I had stayed awake long enough to get to know more about this witch, but
I guess it’s too late now.
A huge black form, so familiar it wounds me just seeing him so suddenly, jumps right in front of the truck in a bid to swerve us
into a crash. I instinctively lift my hands, cutting passed the two figures seated before me and throw him aside in instinct,
catching him before he hits the ground and carefully nestle him on the bushes, so Meadow doesn’t have to run over her alpha. I
think hitting her mate was enough on the way out, I don’t want Colton being added to her guilt list. I try not to take anything from
the moment, pushing down the biting pain and remind myself we have the witch, who soon will help me get him back. I have to
cling onto hope, that my mate will be free to come home soon.
Leyanne glances back at me knowingly, shifting in her seat, and I see the smirk that she knows she just met my mate. That little
eyebrow wiggle and ‘hmmmm’ which spells out ‘interesting’. I just don’t understand her at all. She is neither likeable, nor

unlikeable. Somewhere between good and bad and I can’t decide if I trust or don’t. She gives off so many mixed signals but yet
Sierra put so much faith in her.
“Home stretch, brace yourselves because I feel like they’re going to throw everything they can at us before we cross the rune
line.” Meadow warns, snapping my gaze back from Leyanne and almost on cue the truck begins to shudder and wobble, and
grind and groan, with revving effort as dozens of wolves fly and pile up on top of us. Try as we might, between the witch and I we
can only keep sweeping them off for seconds at a time as though they somehow figured out how to cling on when they couldn’t
before.
One last shudder as it feels like the groaning roof might come down on top of us, a slight buckling of metal as Carmen and I sit
transfixed to it above and whoosh. Travelling into the fogless air, over the protection line, swipes off the ones over our head with
a dramatic flurry of bodies flying backwards. We accelerate with a last lurch of speed, skid, and crunch into the gravel in the front
of the house with a noisy halt that sends us all falling forward to brace ourselves. We are only minutes before sunset and the
timing couldn’t be any closer. I shudder when I think of the difference if we had more of Darrius’ kind here, daylight walkers who
seem way more capable than the brain-dead fanged freaks of our mountain.
“Home sweet home.” Carmen mumbles and kicks off the blanket she was cradling to her stomach before jumping down to her
feet and casting me a bank look. “You should eat right away... you haven’t at all, and you have more than you to keep fed.” it’s a
stern telling off, delivered in her usual haughty tone but somehow, I’m getting used to her manner. I see the care behind the
words and my whole face softens at her scrutiny. The icy coldness, the blunt often rude way she has of letting words fall out of
her mouth. She’s a hard ass. No softness at all and that’s what tells me that underneath that prickly shell, Carmen might actually
be even softer than Meadow. She just doesn’t have anyone to give it to, or trust enough to show it. It’s a way of shielding herself
and acting like she cares about no one. She can’t be hurt by people if she doesn’t give anyone the opportunity to get close
enough to try.
Jasper would have been that chance to nurture the hints of love I see glimpses of in her, and now, I have no idea what the hell is
going to happen there. I’m angry at him, disappointed in what he did and her standing here before me, I want to beat my stupid
brother in the face. Even if I am overjoyed and still in shock that he’s even still alive.
“I need to see Sierra first and then ..” I start to explain and follow her to the front to get out, but Meadow cuts me off.
“No, she’s right. Go to the kitchens and eat. I’ll take Leyanne to Sierra, and Carmen can make sure you get food first. Luna,
you’re home. Your priority right now is giving your unborn what they need. Let us manage things for you.” It’s her ‘I’m in charge’
bossy tone that likes to pop up when she thinks Colton would want her to take over for me. I can’t fault her love.

I know arguing is futile and I’m weak and a little dizzy with lack of nourishment from the journey as it is. I haven’t eaten since
yesterday, since before we found Leyanne and were eating while we drove. I hadn’t thought about it before and guilt flushes
through me as I realize how careless it is. I have to be more responsible of the children in my body.
I follow Carmen without further protest and we’re immediately swarmed by pack sentinels who saw our arrival or were
summoned by Meds. They start unloading the truck and greeting our return with submissive nods and uttering ‘Luna’ under their
breaths. A huge sense of relief in the air around me as tense guards relax at finally laying eyes on us back home. I can taste the
agony my departure caused, and I am weighed down with another layer of remorse that I abandoned them. Despite the
emotions, nothing is amiss in any of them, or our surroundings, and it looks like our absence didn’t cause much upheaval to the
pack at all. Nothing has happened since we left.
It feels good to be home but standing in the almost darkness and staring at that imposing fog, knowing Colton isn’t inside to greet
me. To shower me with his love and hugs, that I need more than air. He’s out there, watching and waiting for his chance to
wound me instead, and it dampens my joy down completely. Heart tearing with the return to real, eyes misting that we are so
close yet still so far in terms of bringing them out of the fog.
Instinct pulls me to the nearest wall of mist, and I get close enough to the tree line that I can see out through the forest at where
the fog physically meets the boundary. Straining to see as Carmen hangs back, sensing I need a moment.
“Colton.... If you can hear me.... You have more than me to fight for now, don’t give up. We’re working on it. I love you and I miss
you.” its loud enough that my voice travels on the wind and yet quiet enough and directed away from the house to not echo
around the drive. Only Carmen will have caught it and she remains silent and at a distance, giving me some space and showing
respect.
The fog twirls and moves in the wind and for a second I catch a glimpse of a lone dark figure directly in front, separated by the
twenty feet or so of wood and he’s staring right at me. Full on wolf form, black, devastating in size, claws extended in readiness,
and glistening in the moon light. He’s a sight to behold on any given day, but like this, how he is just shreds my emotions into
frenzied pain and aches heavily in my chest. His eyes are still empty darkness, and his growling snarl is unmistakable to my
ears. I would know Colton anywhere, no matter the distance.
He’s warning me that I’m his prey and if this wall wasn’t holding him back, nothing I could say would stop him from tearing me
limb from limb. We connect for one second, a tiny fragment between my mate and I and yet I feel only his desire to kill me. Its
intensity is shocking and overwhelming to my soul. I shudder, turning away with tears blinding my eyes, to shut him out and jump
when I bump into Carmen right behind me. She’s moved closer as though to make sure I didn’t stray closer to the border.
Lingering to protect.

“It’s not really him.... He doesn’t know what he’s doing. This isn’t who he is, and you know it. When the spell’s broken, Luna, he’ll
smother you with love and protect you and his children with the ferocity of what you see standing out there now. Try and not let
this get to you... at least you know his heart is willing when everything else is pulled away.” Her sadness bites through and she
rubs my shoulder lightly, rare physical contact, before turning on her heel and walking towards the house. She gestures me to
follow and seems sure I am coming now, I blink after her in astonishment, the hints of that caring person I see in her sometimes,
shining through and reminding me just how unfair life can be.
“Carmen? Jasper....” I don’t know what words I intended but his name alone dies on my lips with the pain from my own heart at
saying it. I realize I have no idea how to console her at all, when I don’t even know how to process myself that my brother stands
against us. Her aura changes to cold and closed stiffness instantly.
“Don’t. Karma, remember? I deserved this.” She shrugs, that controlled mask of indifference back in place and moves off,
throwing her feelings away. Sill walking without looking back and I silently shake my head.
No, you don’t.
I maybe used to think she deserved all kinds of awful to happen to her for her part in my pain, but not anymore. I hate that she
now suffers all the things I did in some strange balance that seems to be intent on making her feel everything I once suffered
through – the death of my mom, the loss of the pack, the mistreatment under Juan’s care. The rejection of an imprinted mate
because of who she is. Walking alone as though cut off from the shore, while trying to find her place in a new order of things.
She’s the outsider now.
Carmen doesn’t deserve to keep being put through all of this and she’s stronger than most, to keep getting up to fight over and
over again. Jasper, he was always so loving, so loyal and I know that if she weren’t a Santo, he would the kind of mate she could
only dream of. As a brother he was everything in my world, my rock, my safe haven, and I don’t doubt a mate would be even
more cherished. He would love her in ways that would heal all her wounds, protect her, and show her what worth and stability
are in the same way he showed me.
She just happened to have the wrong name.... and nothing to do with a feud that meant her mate despises her for that one detail
alone. Jasper is an idiot to not see beyond his own hatred.
“I should go see Sierra first while you see what the kitchen has to offer. I’ll come right back, I swear. She’ll want to see me, know
I’m safe. I know how she is, and her worry won’t subside without it. Besides, I have to tell her about....” I glance down at my
stomach, feeling awkward and still not fully confident in this new little fact at all. I still need to have it confirmed but yet, deep

down inside since Leyanne told me, I have known it to be true. I can sense something now which I ignored before and I’m certain
it was two little lives. Carmen nods sadly when I catch up with her and link my hand in hers loosely, a natural movement borne of
being friends with Meadow. She hesitates, flexes her fingers and her hand pauses but doesn’t pull away and avoids looking at
me directly.
“I can get something for you and bring it up to her suite. I’m sure Sierra will be happy to see her daughter in the flesh, even if the
witch is monopolizing her attention.” Her tone is tight, a slight lacing of something under the surface that I can’t read. Her
emotions are shielded effectively, and I sigh inwardly that she just won’t let her guard down. Not even around her Luna.
I’m glad she doesn’t argue with me the way Meadow does on this, and we part at the inner stairway when we get inside the
house. Just the air and the atmosphere alone make me see how much tension I’ve been holding in my body these last couple of
days and I exhale to release some of it. My body sagging at the familiar and safe surroundings, the very air in this space calling
me home and soothing that eternal weight of pain in my chest. If he wasn’t missing in this scene, then this would be heaven to
return to.
It feels less despairing than before we left. We have the witch, we have crazy revelations about my mother, and we have hope of
not only fixing this mess of this spell but ending the war. Something we never knew how to achieve before. Which if we do,
leaves only one little problem left in our list of all things we have lost sleep over in recent months. Juan Santo and our mountain.
With the threat of vampires out of the way, maybe our focus on saving our people might actually become priority when we get
Colton back. And then Jasper... my brother out there in the world posing a new kind of threat if he sticks to his word and comes
after my people for what was done to our family. I can’t even contemplate that right now and what will happen if he holds true to
his word. Jasper against me... or even against Colton. I know he would lose. He’s strong, his gift is speed which is why he
probably escaped Juan so long ago. His hyper speed compared to other wolves is twice as fast, but he’s no alpha and he would
never be a match for my mate. Colton is stronger, has more aggression in his pinky, and is battle worn and calculative in a fight. I
don’t know of Jaspers training these past ten years with the vampires, and I was shocked at his level of hostile, but I could still
sense he wouldn’t be able to take me alone, let alone with my mate.
I don’t want to fight him, especially not when at the root of his goal is the pain of our loss. He loved our pack, our family, our
parents. He lost everyone, even thought I was gone, his home, and has had to carve out life within the lap of those he was once
afraid of as the enemy. Creatures he rose against in battle and had been ingrained to fear since childhood. Living with vampires
for a decade can’t have been all that great.
And then there’s that which completely confuses me.... vampires accepted a wolf and let him live. Not as a slave or a mistreated
being, but as one of them. Initiated into their coven from what Darrius blurted out, which raises a whole lot of questions about the

morality and laws of what we once believed were only monsters. It seems this breed we never knew existed, is far superior in so
many ways to those things out in the woods. Miles apart physically but also in morality too. It shakes everything I thought I knew
about them.
I need to talk to Leyanne about the difference between the born and the turned, and if there is one, how the hell we create peace
once more so that no more blood has to fall on either side. I don’t fancy our chances should the born vampires come into play
and be the ones to stand in battle against us instead.
I can’t even begin to contemplate my own heritage and that’s a whole head mess I’m leaving aside for now. If I’m royalty... I’ve
been killing my own kind for the past months and hating them, while maybe I might have had a chance at stopping this. My head
aches with all of it and I don’t even know how to start pulling it apart, turning it over or figuring it out. That’s always been Colton’s
forte. To see things and figure out the chess moves, lay it out in a logical way. I miss him so much more with every second I need
him to be here.