Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book

“Be quiet. You don't belong among my kind, you never have, and it's become tiresome to protect you against others. You can be of more use with my daughter and her babies than constantly watching your back and shadowing Darrius. I believe it's where fate always intended to put you. To protect my blood in place of me.” Varro turns to him and heavily places a hand on his shoulder, his aura emanating sheer authority. It's clear he doesn't like to be questioned.

“You want me to live among those that took everything from me?” Jasper almost spits it at him and winces at the pressure applied on his shoulder as punishment. I get the vibe you don't question or disobey this one at all.

My heart aches for my brother though, knowing that at the root of his resistance is an inability to let go of his own pain. With good reason. Being all alone among their kind for a decade with only Varro as his source of comfort. To have someone spurring on your sadness with their own. Torn form his own kind for survival and left to fester and forget what it is t be part of a pack. Both so focused on revenge and he knows nothing else. I get it, I understand, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. My soul still hurts at his venomous words.

“No, he doesn't. because those who took it all will leave with him. The rest of the pack has nothing to do with this, they didn’t know.... Carmen has nothing to do with this. The fates would never have linked her to you if they wanted it like this.” I point out, reaching for my brother's hand in a bid to draw him to me but he pulls it away to avoid me. Another cold glare and a show of amber eyes. “You need to come back to living as a wolf to be able to move on and heal. Jasper, the pack you knew back then isn't the pack you're hating now. So much has happened and changed. Just give us a chance. Take time to see for yourself that it's not the same as it was.” Colton moves close behind me to try and reinforce my sentiment. His genuine need to bring him back into the fold and accept a pack member who has gone astray. The alpha in him will always fight to bring our kind home. "Whether you agree or not, I am ordering you to stay by your sister's side until I see fit. Protect my child.... Be my eyes and presence. Refusal is pointless.” Varro interjects. “This war ends tonight and no one but you will be left to stand and fight if you don't give a little. My goal was always revenge, but before me stands a reason to stop all of it. A future beyond this battle. I can’t win if I lose my daughter to satisfy my need for revenge.”

His words make me falter within myself, a sudden thump to my chest as I blink at Varro, suddenly seeing something else in him with just the briefest of words. I have pushed down and tried to ignore any feelings I might harbor for this stranger, because it's a can of worms I don't want to examine. Yet here in a blink of an eye, the fact he is my father is staring me in the face and I'm too afraid to really let those emotions break the surface. I don’t know how to process them when I really have never gotten to grips with the fact the dad I knew, was never my bio dad at all. Caged feelings, swirling thoughts, all swallowed as quickly as they surface so I can ignore them until I feel able to really explore all of it. My heart says it's a betrayal to my dad to have affection for Varro in his place right now and I'm so confused with what I'm experiencing.

A weird buzzing noise running through us, like loud static, suddenly hits us from behind and sways all thoughts from that point. It ripples through in a dramatic fashion, making my skin goosebump and my hackles rise. Pulling all focus away from conversations and one another as we all stop, spin our heads, to see what and where it came from. It's a sensation like standing on a metal floor when lighting hits a building outside, the after vibrations of intense electricity tickling my skin.

"What was that?” I utter breathlessly, turning to see that our pack wolves have been affected too and are looking around with the same confused curiosity. It wasn't painful, just something we all felt, and it seems to have moved like a wave across the sea of figures.

“The weapon... It's disabled. I can feel a difference. My ability to link is back.” Colton touches my shoulder and we both glance at the manor, in the direction of Carmen as a smile spreads across my face. Instant elation. I know that the Colton immediately jumps to link the subpack to bring them up to speed.

“Yay, Carmen!! I knew she could do it. I mean, we maybe don't need it now, but still ..... my girl has skills.” I can't conceal my pride in my sister and suddenly become aware of Jaspers eyes eating into the back of my skull and his emotion changing with the mention of her name. It's a loaded and heavy feeling, swirling confusion and pain, and for a second, a pang in my heart tells me Jasper is already pining for the mate he refused. He's fighting himself and I know from experience how much worse every passing day gets when your mate is separated from you by choice. His own stupid, stubborn, hate, is stopping him from opening his heart. It's eating at him with just the sound of her name.

“I give my word that the vampires will not use our weapon against wolves as long as I rule my coven from this moment on. My oath is unbreakable, I swear on it. There is no need for your countermeasures after tonight. The weapon can be turned off.” Varro's statement is clear and strong, and my gut says it's truth. I falter in my response, take a breath, and decide for one to trust my gut and believe the words. He's very to the point.

"So, I guess all that's left now is for us to deliver Juan, right?” I point out, pushing away every other detail and focusing on making this end to our fight a done deal. I can finally see light at the end of the tunnel, even if this all feels surreal. Just get the details in order and we can all go home. Take the steps, ignore all the emotional issues.

"Right. Maybe Jasper will more appeased if he personally hunts down that problem, and his men. Would that kill some of this hatred in you?” Colton steps towards him and is met with the instant glow of ambering eyes, telling him to back off out of his space. Jasper's bristling for a fight, even if it's misdirected at my mate.

“You underestimate what is needed to curb my hatred of Santo. Maybe if you and I ...." Jasper snarls and I step between them in haste. I know where that tone is heading and Colton is evenly matched in fiery temper and willingness to fight when coerced.

“Enough!” I push Colton back, knowing he’s the less volatile of the two and the one I trust not to react to my force in any kind of anger. He obeys with a step back but places a hand on the small of my back and grasps my waistband. It's his way of saying he'll haul my ass out of the way should he dislike Jasper's attitude towards me. “Jasper, please. Just go do whatever. Expend some of that energy and anger in finding the real enemy. We don't have the energy for this.” It's almost a pleading request.

“I agree. Jasper, take several with you and go find every last one of those mongrels. Juan Santo and the loyal that will be cowering with him wherever they are hiding. I'm bored and want to wrap this up and enjoy my evening in a more sociable manner.” Varro sighs as though to emphasize the pint, and I find it a little amusing, in a weird way.

“I'm going too!” Sierra's unexpected voice rings clear in the night air and disrupts our circle. Her bold march pushing us apart naturally as she invades the space and she furiously glares me brother down so that he's the one to actually step back and lower his chin, avoiding her direct gaze. It dawns on me that this was once his Luna, and he fought in war alongside her.

He may be consumed with feelings of the negative against many wolves here, but in the face of a femme he respected, protected, and knew as his mothers best friend, everything shifts around us. “You!....." Sierra points right up at his nose, a tone much like our mom's when she was mad at us, a look of fierce and a tone that is one hundred percent momma wolf in battle mode. “Your mom would be so mad at you right now, you know that, huh? Don’t even get me started, young man. You're going to come with me and find that son of a bitch, and then you're going to put that damn tail between your legs and take a time out to reflect on yourself and everything muddled in that thick skull. You need a time out in the solitude chair, to get things in order!” Sierra taps him on the temple with a little aggression that startles him, and my mouth drops open at this unexpected interaction. The solitude chair was our kindergarten time out for when we misbehaved. Varro smirks and turns away as though making it clear he has no issue with his pet wolf being scolded in this manner and I have to swallow a snort of laughter at Sierra reverting to the woman who used to visit us and read stories to wayward pups.

“Luna...I ..." Jasper completely caves, almost like that little wolf who hated being told off. Submission flowing from him at alarming speed, and he hunches his shoulders further as his nose almost touches his chest. That ingrained part of a wolf when faced with the hierarchy he grew up following. I never thought Sierra could have this kind of effect on him.

“Luna, nothing! I understand. Your pain, your heartbreak, and your anger. Look at me...... Alora and I, we both understand the level of betrayal and hurt. We know what the heartbreak does to your soul. You're not alone in that. You have become so accustomed to holding onto it to fill your emptiness, away from your kind and your family. No direction, cut off, cast out, which is pure hell for a Lychan. Your loneliness is infused through you in the worst kind of ways and it's seeping from every pore so that I can feel it. Come home to us, Jasper. Where you belong. You don't need to forget, or let it go right now, you just need to take the first small step towards us and know that I won't let you be hurt ever again. I failed you... I failed her; I failed my promise to keep her little ones safe. If you want to blame anyone then blame me for not being strong enough..... hate Juan, blame his greed, but don't blame those who love you and are offering you a way back. You won't heal without us, don't throw away the chance of a future that can be happy again, for one day of bloodshed and regret. * There's heavy silence as she reaches up and traces a single symbolic tear that escapes his eye and rolls down his cheek. He coughs to try and cover it, tries to pull back that hardened glare to shield the emotion she tugged from him. I see it all so clearly. That teen boy I knew, the loving brother, the shy awkward wolf who protected me so fiercely; he’s still in there and battling so many internal conflicts. She dries it away with a gentle touch, a slight blue glow leaving a faint shadow as her finger moves and it seeps into his soul. Her healing touch, her balm, infused with her careful words. I know how powerful that combination can be in times of major distress.

Colton shifts restlessly behind me, unsure what's happening and pulls me against his chest. Varro raises a brow and cocks his head to the side as Jasper lifts his chin slightly and dares to look Sierra in the eye for the first time. Probably the first time in his life, given when she was Luna we were never allowed.

“I know it's hard. I know there's a fire inside of you that's all consuming, and a war that's twisting it all around. Trust me, I know how it feels. I know the loss, take my hand and let me help you find your way out of your own hell. It doesn't have to feel like it does now.” Sierra slides her palm to his shoulder, down his arm and glides her hand in his to grasp it tightly. This is where she always excelled as Luna, in her ability to be what we needed and find the right way of getting in.

A mother's touch, a protective gesture, and Jasper swallows hard and seems to crumble slightly, no letting go of that small hand in his.

I know this isn't all words. I can see the glow, know the effects of Sierra's subtle magic and know she’s diffusing him, filling him with that aura of warm feeling and security she has used on tearful pups in the past. It's like giving him a couple of shots of liquor and improving his mood for a temporary relief. It's instilling hope that she holds the secret to being free of his own agony.

“Take her offer. Go find the wolf and his loyal. End this tonight.” Varro is curt and to the point. Shaking Jasper out of his odd quiet stance and he seems to visibly straighten himself up as he pulls his hand out of Sierra's. Surprised at his filial behavior. He casts her an odd look, somewhat torn and confused and then blinks at me as the steels returns a little. I can see the battle in his eyes.

“Fine... but you stay here. Pregnant? There's no place for you here in that condition.” It's a hint of brotherly love, and I'll take what I can of it. Even if it's delivered in such a frosty tone. It's a ray of hope.

Jasper wastes no time in polite chat anymore, turns on his heel and with a click of his fingers to lurking shadows who instantly materialize. I shudder as several creatures materialize in thin air and take off after him, that wreaking smell and vulgar show of pale skin and long fangs. Sierra is hot on his heels without hesitation, turning to wolf, and Radar and two of the Luna’s guard immediately follow close on her heels without a word being spoken. I know Colton is in all of their heads, directing, giving orders and I relax knowing we have our abilities back.

“Shall we retire to your...... abode?” Varro breaks in, looks up at the darkened manor which seems shabby and deserted compared to how it used to look so many months ago. His sarcasm is obvious, and I catch that little flex in Colton’s body as he curbs his reaction to someone dissing his childhood home.

“Shall we?” I answer instead and push Colton off, motioning him ahead of me as we turn about, telling him to get moving. He does so after a second of stubborn stillness. His eyes cast around to take in the scene before us and he grips my hand in his and tugs me close to his side. Always ready to shield me.

Our wolves are all standing ready, a huge semi-circle which has grown since Varro appeared and I catch sight of Meadow in the lineup, eyes ablaze, poised for the kill at a command. I smile her way softly, so glad to see her again, to tell her it's okay and impulsively scan the faces for the rest of the subs. They are all here now, watching, waiting, eyes amber and standing in battle mode for the briefest of signs. My family all present once more.

The Luna's guard follow close behind us and Varro seems completely unphased to be a lone Vampire walking towards this arc of the enemy without any accompaniment. It says a lot about his faith in his own abilities.

“Lord.” A dark figure swoops down in front of us and lands with a gentle thud in our path, startling me with the almost ninja like intrusion. Tall, dressed in black tailoring, with undeniable red glowing eyes coming at me from the darkness. Darrius. I guess he was never far away. He's unmistakable even sheathed in shadow.

He steps forward and bends a knee before fluidly moving into a kneel, and lowers his head, lifting one arm so his wrist touches his forehead in a sign of respect for his master. It's obvious that despite his arrogant and cold manner, Darrius is a loyal servant to my father and seems he knows how to be submissive in front of the right creatures. He still has that noble air of command, yet I sense no aggression or anything negative coming from him at all. Complete obedience.

"Stay here, I have no need for your men anymore. Watch for Jasper in case he needs assistance in rounding up his charge.” Varro clicks his fingers and motions for me to walk around him. I falter and then do as I'm told and arc away from Darrius and around while she stays in that bowing position, unmoved at all.

“As you command, Lord.” That low husky voice that sends the fear of god through me. Even as a Lychan, Darrius scares me. He's nothing like Varro. I thank my lucky stars Darrius and any like him didn't interject in battle as I really feel our kind are no match for the ones like him. There's something so dark and terrifying about him, that's not even present in Varro at all. You can feel it in the air around him, that he’s the true definition of a creature of the night.

Darrius stays unmoved when even Varro walks past him and I glance back to see him motionless like a statue when we progress all the way to the gate of the Manor. As soon as we are at a distance he stands up and takes on the stance of a guard, facing away and doesn’t follow. His weird energy is still ebbing around me though and I shudder in a bid to shake it off. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say it's what death feels like.

"What is he?” Colton is the one to break the tension, aiming his question at me because he is obviously feeling it too, and I lean in close knowing fine well that Varro can hear me even if I whisper. Somehow, talking about Darrius though, should be done in whispers.

“They said he’s a Shadow Knight. Some sort of stealth assassin soldier.”

"A what?” Colton blanches and throws back a wary look over his shoulder at the formidable figure of that creepy man. A look of disbelief and yet a frown.

"A Shadow Knight... A rare being. Darrius is the commander of my elite force of very special, hard to find, brothers. A born assassin from an almost obsolete bloodline. He's the shadow in every nightmare, the eyes in the dark that scare you to death. Even for our kind, he’s special. A warrior to the core with little to no empathy for any kind of life, but a strong sense of obligation and a good moral code for a cold-blooded killer. He has his uses, as do his men. Darrius alone could take on fifty of your kind and not even get a scratch. I'm rather proud to have him.” You can't mistake Varro's pride in his tone, as though discussing his prized collection of priceless artifacts. It's odd. “Leyanne said, that if Shadow Knights fought the war against us twenty years ago, there would be no Lychans today at all.” I point out, shivering at the thought and gaining a new respect and fear for that figure we are leaving behind. He's mysterious and yet leaves a lasting impression.

"And she’s right. That witch isn't one to lie or exaggerate. Meddlesome creature, that she is. You can thank the fates though that only two dozen of them exist nowadays in all the lands. I command most of them.”

Now that's a terrifying thought. Two dozen Darrius’s. No thank you.

Talking of which...or witch. I have no idea why she goes AWOL at the most important times and then seems to appear right when we truly need her. She's weird, in a good way but altogether infuriating that she just takes off and goes to do her own thing. Where the hell is she now?

The words don’t make it out of my mouth as we're met by carmen at the main door, a look of fear on her face as she scans those coming towards her, then relief at seeing me and Colton. Her eyes move past us, to Varro, no shock at seeing him, and then off into the darkness behind him and it's no guessing who she’s looking for. Her mate bond will be telling her he’s close and feeling him in all kinds of ways.000