Reflections

I remember back when I was in eight grade, I sat in my chair nervously watching the clock tick by.

It seemed to creep closer to the last bell of the school day, which I wasn't ready for it yet. My tentative eyes slowly made there way across the other side of the room to a small, quiet girl taking notes.

She never seemed to change the past years I spent grade school with her. The girl I had a crush on for a long time, still wore her hair up in tight buns and colorful loose fitted dresses.

"Julianne, read the next few sentences," our teacher asked and I watched her head nod shyly as she gripped tight onto the hem of her yellow dress.

I smiled knowing that she hated reading out loud.

It was the only thing, I think, we had in common.

The bell suddenly rang allowing Julianne to give a silent sigh of relief. Grabbing my books with hast, I waited for the mad rush of my classmates to go flying by. Julianne finally had all her belongs together and I took a step forward to capture her attention.

"Hey Julianne," I barely choke out.

Stopping in front of me, Julianne gave a slight smile. "Hi Tyler," she quietly said back.

Trying to hide the fact I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants, I asked, "Are you, going to the dance tomorrow? Do you, I mean, would you want to maybe go," I had to take a breath, "with me?"

Her eyes fluttered as if I took her off guard. "I ah, actually wasn't going to go. I have a dance recital that night."

I shook my head with the out most disappointment and embarrassment. "Oh, I didn't know. Sorry."

Quickly I walked out of the room and headed outside to wait on the curb for my mother to pick me up.

Well this sucked, I thought. Now she knows I like her. Great.

Honk. Honk.

I glanced up to see my mother waving cheerful at me from the driver seat of our mini van. Closing the door shut, I knew my mother's eager eyes were on me and waiting for some good news.

"Mom, I think I might have to change schools," I said maybe a little over dramatic.

My mother's soothing voice said, "It didn't go well, I take it."

"Yeah, you can say that," I responded as my eyes accidentally caught Julianne pointing over at me with her dad carrying her book bag.

Slouching down in my seat and I thought, Or possible move out of the country.

Playing Medal of Honor, my mother came down the stairs with her smile. "Tyler, there is somebody here to see you."

I glanced over to my mom and said, "I really don't want to talk to anyone." Especially after what happened yesterday.

My mother stepped in front of the television and said, "Oh, but I think you wouldn't mind if it was that girl from school, would you?"

I practically jumped up in excitement and then suddenly dialed it down knowing my mother was watching me.

"Cool," I responded calmly.

Taking two steps at a time to get to the first floor of our split level home, I notice a girl looking at some of my baby pictures on the wall.

"Julianne?"

Turning around I couldn't believe this was Julianne. She was wearing a very stunning mint green dress that didn't hang on her like a sac. She had hints of a light lipstick. But what caught me most of guard was her long auburn hair cascaded down her shoulders.

Julianne said, "Look Tyler. You really didn't give me a chance to explain. I wasn't planning on going to the dance because I thought no one would ask me." She took a step forward and added," I had to ask my parents if I could skip one recital before I could say yes to you."

My mouth must have been still wide open from the shock. She smiled up at me, "Tyler will you go to the dance with me still?"

After that day, we were really inseparable friends finding more and more things we had in common.

My eyes glance over to the chandelier to find Mrs. Reeves placing a new replica of her once busted vase. The woman that always wanted best for her daughters, even if that meant butting into things that wasn't her place.

Stepping in our apartment, I was happy I was able to get home early from working in my dad's shop. As I walked around the apartment, I search for Julianne to find her talking loudly in the bedroom.

"Material things is all you think about mom," I stopped suddenly unsure if I should be listening to their phone conversation. But I could hear Mrs. Reeves voice so perfectly with her authoritative voice.

"I don't want you to be stressed. He needs to switch his history major to something that has more potential. He needs a good job, Julianne. Don't you want to all the bills to rest on your shoulders. I know what it's like and-"

"Mom, I'm fine. We have been doing fine in our apartment." Julianne said frustrated.

"You're not going to get a good home. And what happens if you get pregnant. You won't be able to afford them. You'll be strained."

Julianne sighed, "He has a job mom and he's going to school to be a history teacher. He doesn't want to be stuck in a boring job of being an accountant-"

"That's where the money is. Teaching jobs don't even make half the money you would in your degree baby. And that's just your back up plan. Dancing comes first."

"If we're drowning in debt, I'll find a great job as a paralegal." Julianne tone was getting sharp.

"But you wouldn't have too. Look it's not too late for him to switch."

"Mom, he doesn't want to do it and that's final. We are fine."

"For now," her mother's tone drifted off and Julianne said, "You know what, I'm done talking about this. Good bye."

Peeking into the room, Julianne hung up and stared at the bed crying. I wanted to go in there and comfort her. But at that moment, I felt like I just took a punch to the gut.

Apparently if I didn't switch my major to an accountant, I would not only be a financial burden, but the idea of having kids and a nice home were also out of our reach.

I finally knew where I stood in Julianne's mother's eyes.

Apparently I was going to be the reason why Julianne and my relationship would fail.