Reclaiming My Broken Luna (Astrid and Killian)

Astrid's

POV

I held back the tears burning in my eyes, refusing to let them fall. I couldn't cry in front of Drystan, not

now.

This wasn't about me-it was about him, about setting him free. He needed to see that I wasn't the one for him, that holding onto me would only bring him misery.

I looked at him, my heart breaking as I saw the pain in his eyes, the confusion, the hurt I'd caused by not being honest sooner.

It felt like the walls were closing in on me, but I had to stay strong. He deserved better than this. Better than me.

"Drystan," I whispered, my voice trembling despite my best efforts. "You deserve a life of your own,

without waiting on me. I don't want you to waste any more time on someone who can't give you what you need. You have to live for yourself before it's too late."

He didn't respond right away, just stared at me, his fists clenched at his sides. I could see the battle raging inside him, the hurt colliding with the realization that I was right.

It was like watching him slowly fall apart, and knowing I was the cause tore me apart more than I'd ever admit.

Without a word, he turned away, his jaw tight, his shoulders tense with anger. I knew he was heartbroken, but this had to be done. I couldn't let him stay in this limbo, waiting for something that would never

happen.

He stormed out, but I didn't bother to stop him. I stared at his back as he retreated away without turning back.

As I remained in the garden, the weight of everything pressing down on me, my knees nearly gave way. The world felt impossibly heavy, and for a moment, I could barely stand.

The soft rustling of leaves startled me, and I instinctively turned, my heart foolishly hoping it was Drystan coming back. But it wasn't.

Instead, Killian stood at the edge of the shadows, his gaze fixed on me. The intensity in his dark eyes cut through the gloom, sending a strange, unsettling warmth through me.

I hadn't expected anyone-least of all him to appear now.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice quiet but filled with concern. He stepped forward, his figure moving gracefully through the garden's soft moonlight. "Why are you all alone out here?"

I could only shake my head at first, unable to find the words.

"Drystan left in a rush," Killian continued, his brows furrowing. "He didn't say a word. I came to find you after he stormed off."

I looked away, the ache in my chest sharp and relentless. "I had to let him go," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "It was the right thing to do. He deserves better than this... better than me."

Killian was silent for a moment, and I could feel his gaze burning into me, studying me as though he could see straight through the walls I had built.

When he finally spoke, his voice was low, almost gentle. "And who told you that you don't deserve better, too?"

I froze, taken aback by the quiet intensity in his words. I stared at him, but his eyes were staring at

somewhere far. "It's not about what I deserve," I said, struggling to keep my voice steady. "This is about what's best for him."

"And what about you, Astrid?" His voice was softer now, the old familiar tone slipping back in. "What do you deserve?"

My brows furrowed at his words.

Killian took another step closer, his expression hardening slightly. “You always do that, don't you?" he said, his voice tinged with frustration. "You sacrifice yourself for everyone else, thinking it'll make things easier. But has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're wrong? That maybe Drystan didn't want to be saved

from you?"

His words struck me like a blow, and I took a shaky breath, struggling to keep my emotions in check. "It's not that simple, Killian. I'm trying to do what's right."

"It never is simple with you," he muttered, his voice suddenly hard, frustration creeping in. "You always sacrifice yourself for everyone else. You think if you step aside, you'l make things better for them. But have you ever stopped to consider What you might want?"

I turned to him then, meeting his gaze head-on. The raw emotion in his eyes unnerved me, something deep and unspoken flickering in the darkness. "You don't understand," I said softly. "This is the only way to keep him from getting hurt. What I want doesn't matter."

"When you and I were still married, I wasn't a loving husband to you. I always thought you deserved someone better

Killian took another step closer, his voice hardening. "So you're just going to keep doing this? Keep sacrificing yourself for everyone else? Pushing them away because you think it'll make their lives easier?" The frustration in his voice made me turn to him, finally meeting his gaze. His eyes, shadowed by the past we shared, were filled with something I hadn't expected-regret.

And it stung more than I wanted to admit. "I'm not sacrificing myself. I'm doing what's best for him."

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "Is that what you also thought when you forced me to divorce you?"

His words hit me hard, bringing back all the old pain, all the bitterness that had lingered between us.

I looked away, the memories of our failed marriage too close, too raw. "That was different, Killian. We weren't good for each other."

"We weren't good for each other because I wasn't good to you," he corrected, his voice tight, but honest.

"I was a lousy husband, and I know it. You deserved better, Astrid. You always did."

I clenched my fists, feeling the weight of his words, the truth that I had buried so deep. "That's right. I know that. I've always known that. You don't have to remind me."

My voice trembled, but it wasn't just from anger. It was the pain I had been trying to suppress for so long, the pain of knowing that he hadn't been enough for me, and that somehow, even after all this time, I still wasn't free of him.