Reckless

A lone sliver of light cuts through the darkness at the bottom of the closet door. I’m so tired, I might fall asleep if the kids don’t find me soon, but I will my eyes to stay open.

“Ready or not, here we come!” my daughter belts from the other room.

Little feet go pounding down the hall, this way, then that, before Mila confers with her brother, who yells, “Daa-dee! We find Daa-dee!”

I smile. My kids are so stinkin’ cute.

A minute later, when the closet door swings open, I jump out with a roar, and my kids scream bloody murder and attack me with hugs and tickles.

With one child under each arm, I stomp into the living room, pretending to be a troll like that show they watch. “Who dares to cross my bridge?”

They giggle and squirm and screech until Logan and Joey run in from the other room and stab me with swords made out of old paper towel tubes and duct tape. Not sure when this game became ‘let’s hop on Ethan and beat the crap outta him,’ but we end up in a body pile on the floor with Cody wrapped around my head like an octopus, Logan giving me a wedgie from hell, and my daughter jamming her finger up my nose.

“I give up!” I’m laughing so hard, my gut hurts.

Suddenly, everyone stops and, like a family of meerkats, turns simultaneously toward the front door, where Tori stands staring at us with amusement.

“Tori!” My children release me and careen across the room, where they smash into her and take her down to the floor. Oh shit.

“Ohhhh, Toh-wee! Meees you,” Cody announces proudly as he sits on her. Aww, my little dude is telling her he missed her.

The woman left yesterday evening, but by their welcome, you’d think she’s been gone a week.

I trot over and help her up, so taken by her when our eyes connect, I almost forget we’re not doing any PDA in front of the kids. When did it become so hard to keep myself from kissing her?

“Guys, be gentle. Tori’s not your personal jungle gym.” She’s my personal jungle gym. Or maybe I’m hers. Doesn’t really matter how you break it down.

Once she’s standing and dusted off, I give her a wink. “How’s your sister?”

“Pregnant and emotional, which makes me not pregnant but emotional.” She leans back down to wipe something sticky off Cody’s face.

Funny how the thought of Tori being pregnant doesn’t shoot terror through my bones. Always thought after Mila and Cody, I wouldn’t want any more, but the idea of having babies with Tori makes me strangely open to the idea. If I can ever afford it, that is.

Tori would make a fantastic mother. She’s patient and kind. Loving and open-minded. Tender but passionate.

The idea of seeing her swollen with my child does something crazy to my heart.

Take it easy. You just started dating.

“Thanks for coming back to help us out. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

My children bounce around us like a pack of wolves raised them, and she gives me that secret smile, the one that promises late-night touches and out-of-this-world sex.

Clearing my throat, I ask Joey and Logan to keep an eye on my tribe while I show Tori how the filing cabinet is organized in our office.

Logan snorts. “Sure, bro. ‘Show her around.’ Show her all the ins and outs back there.”

Joey smacks him in the gut and smiles sweetly at me and Tori. “We got it covered. Take your time.”

As soon as we’re in the office, I pin her up against the closed door. Her hands are in my hair. Mine are on her curvy ass. Our mouths connect, and somewhere in the distance, fireworks go off.

“Missed you.” I fist her hair and taste her neck. The curve of her shoulder. The sweet spot behind her ear. She smells like sunshine and flowers. Sweet and sexy and warm.

“Missed you too. So much.”

I pull back so I can see her expression, and she gives me that breathtaking smile that makes me feel like a goddamn king.

“If my kids weren’t awake in the other room…” I groan, hating that I need to stop.

“I know.” She heaves out a pained sigh as I put her down, but before I can drop my hands, she pushes up on her tiptoes and whispers against my lips, “But I’ll let you tuck me in bed tonight.”

“Promises, promises.” I smack her ass as I move past her. God, she’s fun. With her around, I almost don’t mind having to organize this pigsty.

“Do you want me to add this to your federal tax folder or do you have a separate place for your property tax bills?”

I look up from my desk and study Tori, who’s tied up her hair on top of her head with a number two pencil. She’s so sexy, I want to fuck her right now on my desk.

After a quick adjustment to my jeans, I motion for the bill.

“There should be a separate folder for this somewhere.” Rubbing my chin, I smile sheepishly. “Not sure where it is, though. Maybe check the second drawer?”

I’ve been feeling stretched so thin lately, the office was the first to fall into disarray. Because it’s not like I can ignore my children, or the horses, or my employees. But having Tori here to help me get this under control has made such a huge difference, I feel a weight lifting off my shoulders.

Logan strolls in, drops onto the couch, and covers his face with his forearm. “Your kids exhaust me.”

I ignore his whiny ass and continue paying bills. We’ve worked through the bulk of the mess. Tori rearranged the filing cabinet so it’s easy to find the business bills versus the house bills.

Eventually, the fatigue of working my butt off all damn week catches up to me, and I close my eyes, wishing I could sleep into next year, but as soon as the sun goes down, I need to get back out to the barn to finish up in there.

“You guys ready for Friday?” Tori asks quietly as she walks behind me, pausing to massage my shoulders.

Jesus, that feels good.

Grunting, I let my head hang down while she works her magic. Would rather forget about Friday, and this back massage is the perfect way to do that.

“I can’t do this for long.” She whispers in my ear, “You have big muscles.”

I smile to myself, feeling like a puffed up peacock.

“So Logan, I have a question for you,” she says, still working over my shoulders. “Are you and Joey… you know?”

This I have to see. I crack my eyes and swing my head to the side. My mother has always wanted those two to end up together.

He’s shaking his head, confusion written all over his face. “Just friends.”

Tori snickers. “Like ‘just friends with bennies’ or ‘just friends but you wanna bang’ or ‘just friends and you’re both in denial’?”

I laugh, reaching back to scoop her into my lap. “So many options.”

“Right? I’ve been trying to figure them out because Joey is really pretty, and she obviously cares about him, but I’m thinking he’s in denial.”

“Like the river in Egypt.”

“I’m right here,” Logan points out. “And I swear Joey and I are really and truly platonic. Nothing has ever happened between us. She’s like a little sister. I would never corrupt her. I mean, we grew up together, so she knows what I’m like.”

Joey is kinda sheltered. I can understand my brother’s reluctance on some level. He loves to play the field, but he’d have to be ready to settle down to consider doing anything with Joey.

“Maybe she wants to be corrupted.” Tori coughs. “Just saying.”

“No way, dude.” Logan rubs the back of his neck. “She might read too many romance novels, but she knows we’re only buds.”

Tori makes this sound of disbelief. “So you’re totally cool with her dating someone else? Her being ‘corrupted’ by someone else?” The blood drains from Logan’s face, and Tori’s voice softens. “Maybe you should think about that before you dismiss her as someone you could be interested in.”

She’s right. One day Joey is gonna wake up and stop trailing behind my brother.

Tori gives Logan a sympathetic smile. “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings. I think you’re a good guy, but sometimes it’s hard to appreciate something that’s been staring you in the face for so long, and I don’t want you to lose out on a great woman because you’re worried it’s complicated.”

I love that she’s a straight shooter. She’s just expressed everything my family has always wondered about Joey and Logan’s non-relationship relationship.

He doesn’t say anything, which is surprising since he always has something to say about everything. After a few quiet minutes, Tori twists in my lap. “Are you feeling good about court this week?”

Groaning, I rest my head against her shoulder. “Not really, but there’s not much I can do. We’ve already submitted all of the financial docs the judge requested, which is why the office looked like a tornado had blasted through here.” Gave me a heart attack, trying to hunt down the tax returns while my brother pieced together our profit-and-loss statements for the year.

The thought of what might happen on Friday makes a cold sweat break out on my neck. “I’m hoping for the best. For the judge to see we’re maxed out already. For him to accept the verbal agreement I had with Allison before she decided she was out for blood.”

I glare at the giant file folder on the corner of my desk that has copies of everything we gave to our attorney, more than a little resentful I have to drag my family’s private business through court because of my mistakes.

“Can I ask a dumb question?”

I’m learning that Tori never asks dumb questions. “You can always ask me anything.”

“Do you guys ever compete in these?”

She reaches into the trash and, like a magnifying glass straight to my heart, pulls out a flyer for the Triple Crown Futurity, which is the premier cutting horse competition that takes place each year in Fort Worth.

“Nope.” That’s the easy answer. The other answer pains me too much to voice.

Logan stalks off the couch and snatches the flyer out of her hand. “You’d think with the four-million-dollar purse, we’d consider it, right?”

“You know that’s divided up a hundred ways for different events. One person doesn’t win all that.”

“But one person could win a big chunk, bro.”

“Why don’t y’all compete? I’m assuming your horses are at the top of their game, right?” She looks between me and my brother.

I scratch the stubble on my chin. “Yeah, they’re well trained. Some of our riders compete.”

“But… you don’t?” she asks.

Now that she’s redirected her attention from Logan’s dating to my lackluster life goals, I’m not as eager to see where this goes.

I stand, needing some space, and slide her off my lap.

Logan answers in my silence. “He used to. That’s how he’s licensed to train cutters now, and Dad thought Ethan would compete after college. That was the plan, at least.”

“Plans go to shit. Dad died. Allison got pregnant. We couldn’t afford to send you to college.” I don’t mean to bark at him, but I’m tired of revisiting these old wounds.

“Don’t take that on too,” he argues. “I didn’t want to go to college. Not my scene. And to answer your question, Tori, if we want to stay competitive in this business, we should be entering the Futurity.”

A bitter laugh bursts out of me. “Yeah? With what time? I’m already busting my ass from dusk till dawn. Sure, we might win some money, but who’s gonna pay for all that travel? For the number of cattle we need to increase the training? For the new trailer we’d need to haul our asses all the way to Fort Worth? For the entry fees? They’re a goddamn fortune.”

“Why do you need more cattle?” Tori asks, propping herself on my desk like she owns the place, which, despite my irritation, I kinda like.

I rub my face, wishing she hadn’t brought up this topic, which only reminds me of all the ways I’m letting down my father.

Fortunately, Logan answers again. “We use cattle from a neighboring ranch to train our horses, but to compete on a bigger scale, we’d need a larger lot of animals because, after a while, those cows get used to the horses and stop responding the way they will in the arena. They get sour and don’t wanna play.”

She laughs and picks up the flyer again. “It’s funny to think of cows playing.”

“I don’t know if they enjoy it,” I add with a chuckle. “They just wanna get away from the big bossy horse in front of them, but the horses are definitely playing. The good ones, the ones who have cutting in their blood, they’re playing from the minute they enter the pen. You can feel it in the saddle and the way they move. They love it.”

“But the cows don’t get hurt, right?” The look of concern on Tori makes me want to kiss her.

“No, honey. They don’t get hurt. Cutting ain’t like the shit you see at some rodeos. No one is tying down any animals. There’s no steer wrestling or calf roping or chute dogging. In fact, some of the horses we train are used to help injured cattle. Say you have an animal that gets hurt in the middle of a herd. How do you get her away from the others? A ranch hand can’t wander in there, but a cutting horse can get the animal maneuvered away from the others quickly so she can see the vet. Competitions are just extensions of those same skills.”

Logan nods. “All packed into the best two and a half minutes of your life.”

“Then you’re not doing something right on your Saturday nights.” I can’t help but bust his balls. “You of all people know there’s at least one thing better than competing.” I eye Tori appreciatively in her cutoffs and tank top, and her eyes ignite under my perusal. “And I sure as hell hope that takes longer than two and a half minutes.”

He slaps me on the back with a hearty laugh. “I forgot what you were like when you had a sense of humor.”

“Fuck off. I’m plenty humorous.”

“Thanks to Tori.”

Looking down at my work boots, I smile at his assessment, because he’s right about that.